The Poetic Frost makes mistakes so that you don't have to. "Dance, Sode no Shirayuki!"
20w, 12hDeath Battles of Equestria
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A/N: I think I'm making a mistake writing this chapter. I mean it's a freaking adorable character, and it's going to die.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! *sobs*
Okay... I'm done. *sniff* Let's just get this over with.
Properties belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and Nintendo.
Shouldn't we stop making random characters fight to the death? I mean what's the point? I- what? Oh, whoops we're live.
Various pictures of Nintendogs, cute Pokemon, and other things pass the screen.
B coos, "Aww, they're so cute... Let's rip 'em to shreds!"
W says, "Today, we're pitting two characters that the media deems adorable but deadly. Kirby the Star Warrior of Dreamland and Fluttershy the Element of Kindness."
B for once is rendered speechless at the fact that another pony has ended up in these Death Battles.
"I'm W and he's B and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle."
The title screen parts to reveal a pink puffball with a cute face, stubby arms, and red shoes.
W starts the introduction, "Like Yoshi, Kirby is both this guy's name and his species. He is a citizen of Dreamland on the planet Pop Star." Various statistics regarding Kirby are listed to the side.
"Despite his positive cheerful personality," W continues, "the one mistake no enemy should make is underestimating him."
B adds, "This guy can eat your face... and your arm... and your leg... and your torso..."
"Yes, Kirby can inhale and ingest his enemies with his signature ability. Usually, this power allows him various power boosts such as projectiles, endurance, and occasionally fireballs. Upon inhaling certain enemies, Kirby is granted the Copy Ability which allows him to use all of the powers of the person or creature he's eaten. However, those enemies happen to be the ones that... uh,... get out." W clearly wishes to avoid talking about-
"Yeah, but that's what makes battling him even more torturous. Can you imagine getting beat up by moves you thought were only mastered by you? How embarrassing."
"While this is Kirby's most well-known ability, it is certainly not his only one. He can draw a sword out of his non-existent belt and when an enemy is directly beneath him, he can transform into a brick dealing a heavy blow."
"Heh heh, he said blow."
"Kirby's faced a wide variety of enemies and rivals, including King Dedede and Meta Knight."
"And he's still got that smile glued to his face."
A dramatic cut scene is shown where Kirby transforms into Fire Kirby saying, "Poyo!"
The title card parts this time to reveal a long pink-maned, yellow Pegasus smiling at butterflies.
"Another pony?" B asks skeptically, "Another pony?!"
"Fluttershy resides in Ponyville in Equestria," W dodges the question, "After falling from her home in Cloudsdale, she found her true calling as an animal caretaker and physician."
B sighs exasperatedly.
"Under normal circumstances, Fluttershy has a very reserved personality. She's soft spoken and tends to avoid social gatherings."
"Why am I not surprised?"
Stats appear onscreen pertaining to Fluttershy.
"However, she will not accept the fact that someone hurts her friends. Should such an event occur, she becomes much more authoritative and motherly, demeaning the perpetrators into submission. This is helped by her signature move that many simply refer to as 'The Stare'."
"Under the Stare's influence, animals, monsters, and other ponies lose much of their intimidating bravado allowing Fluttershy to get away with just about anything. But her intimidation isn't her only secret weapon. When properly motivated or provoked, she can wrestle a bear to the point of snapping its neck and fly at Mach speeds giving Rainbow Dash a run for her money."
"Are we still talking about the same horse?"
"Should she ever get truly frustrated or enraged, she can herd an entire stampede of animals simply by charging."
An earthquake shaken scene reveals a door slammed open and a very ragged Fluttershy breathing, "You're... going... to LOVE ME!"
W states his pre-battle catch phrase, "All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all."
B interrupts, "But first an advertisement from... uh..."
"Actually, B, we're not doing those anymore."
"All right! Time for an ad-free Death Battle! Except for Screw Attack which you should check out after this because it's awesome."
An open meadow field is the stage for this match. Kirby is riding his star in from the left of the screen before landing. Fluttershy gently flaps in from the right, blushing slightly after landing.
"Oh, were we fighting?" asks a concerned Fluttershy, "I'm sorry." She flies over to where Kirby is standing and attempts to punch. Only, it sounds more like a tap. Kirby acts like he doesn't notice. Maybe he doesn't notice. Fluttershy attempts to use her other hoof to punch. This time the tap results in a giggle from Kirby.
At first Fluttershy isn't sure what's going on. But then a light bulb goes off in her mind.
"Tickle, tickle, tickle," she mutters while tapping Kirby. This results in more giggles from the pink puffball.
"Tickle, tickle, tickle," Fluttershy says with more confidence and more taps. Kirby is literally rolling around laughing.
Unfortunately, this funny moment was not meant to last. Kirby in his fits of laughter begins inhaling with his black hole of a stomach. Fluttershy squeals in fright trying to fly away, but it's too late. She's already within range of being sucked in. As she disappears behind Kirby's lips, he gulps as his Copy Ability alters his head with a pink mane and small feathered wings.
After this change, Fluttershy is... *ahem*... ejected but she shakes her head as if she were dizzy.
"How dare you?" she mutters. Then she turns around and faces Kirby completely.
"How dare you?!" Fluttershy shouts as she unwittingly activates her 'Stare'. Contrary to the norm, however, Kirby also activates the 'Stare'. The collision of the two 'Stares' creates seismic energy that shakes the entire battle field.
We pan out to the satellite camera that's keeping an eye on the planet as a whole. The planet shakes violently until it explodes in all directions. Neither challenger can be seen in the aftermath.
B comments, "Well, that world's *eff*ed. Our bad."
Stat screens filled with text regarding the battle as W reflects, "Since neither challenger takes the initiative in most fights, it seemed like this would be an innocent competition of who got the last laugh. Unfortunately for them both, Kirby's bizarre digestive system was their undoing. The world can barely sustain the gravity of one overpowered 'Stare'. Two simultaneous 'Stares' was just too much for it."
"Staring contest! Darn it, I blinked!"
"This Death Battle is a draw." Pictures of both competitors appear onscreen with the word 'DRAW' underneath them.
Credits roll by as our hosts are left speechless.
A/N: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Fluttershy... I... I... I'll find you a Phoenix Down. Yeah! And maybe a Max Revive, that should help, right? Right? I won't let you die forever. I just won't.
Properties belong to their respective owners. I gain no profit from this. (Don't kill me!)
It's not over yet.
*pulls out Pinkie Pie's remote control*
(rewinds to a previous moment)
"How dare you?!" Fluttershy shouts as she unwittingly releases the 'Stare'. It's so deep and unnerving that it scares the copied abilities right out of Kirby.
"Listen here, mister! Just because you're cute doesn't mean you can eat whoever you want."
Kirby's face almost looks like it's shrinking, though it's impossible for his face to get any smaller.
"Now you go back to your room and think about what you've done mister," Fluttershy's lecture continues, "Do you understand me?"
Kirby quickly nods, grabs his star transport, and hightails it out of there. Fluttershy's 'Stare' subsides.
"Oh, um, excuse me, Mr. Narrator sir," her voice has returned to its softer tone, "What happens now?"
That's a good question. Oh wait, I've got it.
B is amazed, "Dang. Forget what I said earlier. That pony's a boss!"
W keeps a professional tone, "It seemed like the fight was all over when Kirby used his inhaling Copy Ability, but Fluttershy's 'Stare' and assertiveness were able to quickly turn things around."
"Tickling puffballs, like a BOSS! Staring daggers, like a BOSS! Tell him off, like a BOSS! Now he's gone, like a BOSS!"
"The winner is Fluttershy." A picture of the bearer of Kindness and her name underneath mark the end of this episode.
B quickly states, "By the way, for those of you wondering when we'll make Goku fight Superman..."
W interjects, "Actually, B, we're out of time. Thanks for watching."
A/N: I was really hesitant to submit the chapter as it was at about 1200 words. That's when it hit me, "make an alternate ending." And best of all Fluttershy's still around to stay. *yay*
Next time... hm... I'll have to get back to you on that.
Thanks for reading.