A/N: WARNING: this chapter is slightly influenced by my personal bias. If you don't want to see a fan-favorite die, I suggest skipping this chapter entirely. On that note, remember the three r's: read, relax, and review.
Properties belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and Sega.
Are we really doing another one of these? I thought the director said he was out of ideas last time. Oh, well.
B dramatically screams, "AAAAH! Zombies!"
W confirms, "Well, yeah. It kind of is. This Death Battle will be bringing two challengers from under tombstones."
"Shadow the Hedgehog, the Ultimate Life Form."
"And Discord, the master of Chaos and Disharmony."
"He's W and I'm B."
"And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle."
As the title card splits, we get a mug-shot of the black anthro hedgehog.
W reintroduces, "We briefly covered Shadow's facts in his match against Vegeta but there's plenty more to discuss. Created in Space Colony A.R.K. by Dr. Gerald Robotnik, Shadow the Hedgehog has taken the title of Ultimate Life Form."
B adds, "He's your typical anti-hero: moody and always does his own thing."
"His signature attacks rely on the Chaos force. These include but aren't limited to Chaos Spear, Chaos Blast, and Chaos Control. Don't forget, his speed nearly rivals that of Sonic."
"While he does have all that power, he's not against picking up a gun be it man-made or extraterrestrial."
"The most powerful gun he's found on his ventures is the Shadow Rifle, capable of killing most enemies in just one or two shots."
"And he rides motorcycles for leisure." A picture of Shadow riding a motorcycle passes the screen briefly before stat screens take its place.
"As we've said before, Shadow can use all 7 Chaos Emeralds to grant him the form Super Shadow. In his super form, he can fly, survive in areas without air, and move even faster. While his super form only lasts a few minutes, he returns to normal at peak physical condition regardless of his health prior to the transformation."
"Black-hearted evil or brave-hearted hero?" B concludes, "All hail Shadow!"
A clip of Shadow the Hedgehog's "Pure Hero" ending shows him saying, "This is WHO I AM."
The title screen parts to reveal a discombobulated chimera with an even crazier look in his red eyes.
W starts, "Discord is the physical manifestation of Chaos and Disharmony. He ruled over Equestria for an unprecedented period of time causing all of his subjects to suffer before Princess Celestia and Princess Luna locked him in stone."
"Wait a second. Are you telling me that guy is from the same world as those ponies?" B asks in disbelief.
"As his very existence defies the magical order that Equestria relies on, Discord's powers are only bound by imagination and entropy. He can make clouds from cotton candy and have them rain chocolate milk."
"Tay Zonday's gonna sue." Stat screens relating to Discord flash by in a sort of power point style.
"He can deform animals, remove a pony's extra body parts, raise labyrinth walls out of nowhere, and create illusions."
"He'd give Houdini a run for his money."
"His most devastating power is his diplomacy combined with his ability to alter someone's personality. With just a touch or a few subliminal suggestions, he can turn anyone dishonest, angry, greedy, cruel, and disloyal." Pictures of Liar Jack, Angry Pie, Greedity, Flutterwry, and Rainbow Ditch are shown for each adjective.
"I'm starting to like this guy."
"While he isn't a murderer, Discord can leave his enemies indifferent and useless in combat situations."
"Just like the U.S. military."
A clip of Discord holding a broken umbrella has him saying, "Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of Chaos."
W says, "All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all."
B interrupts, "Hold up W, I gotta collect some ad money."
"What? B, we're done showing advertisements."
"Not from our home site."
Unexpectedly, B decides to advertise Screw Attack.
"At Screw Attack's home site, we offer plenty of video game related content for you to enjoy for hours on end."
W decides to play along, "And if you subscribe to our low-cost Advantage Program, you'll get exclusive content. In Death Battle's case, gag reels and early access to every episode are available for the low monthly cost."
"Go to screwattack.com to check everything out. But right now, it's time for a Death Batttle!"
I am so getting sued for this... I mean, yes! Let's proceed to the match!
We find ourselves in a weird, blank white space where the draconequus is humming and hawing to himself.
"No," he says as he snaps his fingers. The background changes to a pleasant beach scenery.
"No," he says again. Snapping his fingers changes the background to a picture of the Milky Way Galaxy.
"Goodness, no." A third snap turns the entire setting into a set up similar to the Canterlot labyrinth maze, but only half of the maze is actually there. The rest of the field is a giant crater.
"Perfect!" Discord smiles proudly. A sound of rocket boosters disrupts his play time. The black hedgehog with red quill highlights appears on screen skating on his boosters before coming to a screeching halt.
"Hmpf," he grunts, "I thought I sensed a rather powerful presence in this vicinity. I guess I was mistaken."
"Well, now. What do we have here?" queries Discord, "A porcupine with an ego complex?"
"I am Shadow the Hedgehog, the Ultimate Life Form."
"I'm Discord, the master of Chaos and Disharmony."
"Meh, I guess you'll do for a makeshift punching bag."
"Oh-ho! Feisty little rat. I'm going to have fun with you."
Shadow delivers the first kick and a barrage of martial arts quick blows. Discord takes it while seeming to be forced back.
"Chaos...Spear!" Shadow shouts as he fires three yellow projectile bolts in the shape of spears at Discord. The draconequus is hardly phased as he grabs the spears midair and transforms them all into a bouquet of daisies.
"For me?" he rhetorically asks, "You shouldn't have."
Shadow growls in irritation as he tries a different projectile. It's a red energy beam that travels in a straight line. Discord has a cheeky grin as he pulls out an angled mirror out of nowhere and bounces the energy beam into the sky. As if truly counterattacking, he summons a couple pies out of thin air and throws them toward Shadow. The pies are obliterated as we hear two gunshots. The camera panels over to see Shadow wielding a Shadow Rifle.
"I don't have time for this," he says with an annoyed look. He stashes the rifle into his Sega-knows-where inventory as he calls on the power of all 7 Chaos Emeralds. Red, yellow, green, light blue, blue, purple, and white all glow brightly as Shadow's black quills become an off-white yellow color. He is gathering energy in a fire-esque aura surrounding his entire body.
"Behold the true power I possess!" he declares.
Discord only yawns in response. Apparently he's seen super saiyans before.
"Chaos Control!" shouts Shadow as he seems to disappear in a small blue flash. In reality, he has slowed down time of his surroundings in order to appear that he's moving much faster. As he tries attacking the enemy from behind, Discord slowly reaches one of his hands out and grabs the hedgehog mid-attack. Shadow is caught off guard by this motion and can't move.
"Did you forget what I said earlier?" Discord asks with a much more serious face than before, "I'm the master of Chaos. The fact that you hold it in your veins makes little difference over how much I can control it." He tosses Shadow back a few yards who lands on the ground flinching in pain.
Shadow's super form subsides as his aura and quills return to their black color. The physical contact with Discord is not without consequence. Shadow's forehead starts turning gray as the rest of his body follows suit. He can only lay there with his eyes wide in shock.
Somehow we enter the semi-conscious mind of the black hedgehog. He's floating in a dark, blank space with his eyes closed.
"Shadow," a voice resonates through the space.
Shadow opens his eyes and looks startled.
"Maria?" he asks. A translucent silhouette of a young, blond girl with blue eyes confirms Shadows query.
"Shadow, do you remember your promise?"
"I promised...," he pauses before realizing, "I promised you that I would give people another chance."
The silhouette nods her head.
"But if this guy wins here," Shadow realized, "Then they won't have that chance."
Maria's silhouette vanishes as Shadow remembers his life resolve.
"For you, Maria, and everyone else in the world, I will not lose!"
A new strength rises within Shadow as he remembers the words of an ancient Echidna.
The servers are the seven chaos.
Chaos is power enriched by the heart.
The controller is the one that unifies the chaos.
Shadow's growing inner power is enough to clear his shroud of unconsciousness.
"Aw, what's the matter?" mocks Discord as he looks at the shell-shocked vessel of the hedgehog, "Through already?"
Shadow's eyes blink before narrowing in righteous fury. His color is restored to black and red as an aura surges through him and the surrounding air.
"What's this?" Discord is clearly surprised, not expecting an instant recovery. He tries raining chocolate milk on the now-standing hedgehog, but Shadow's aura evaporates it before it even touches him. Discord tries snapping a few times, but he doesn't get any results.
"Impossible!" Discord cries.
"Chaos...," Shadow crosses his arms, "Control...," his fists become open palms toward the sky, "...BLAST!"
A blackish, reddish, blue explosion fills the entire setting and engulfs Discord.
His last dying thought is, I think I preferred being stone.
As the light clears, the barren crater has been filled with a wide variety of wild flowers. Shadow stands in the middle of it down on one knee.
"I did it," he whispers as he closes his eyes to reflect for a while. A sigh of relief escapes his mouth.
B shouts, "Explosions!" Stat screens appear reflecting on the techniques and strategies used by both challengers in this battle.
W interjects, "Discord had a distinct advantage at first, countering Shadow's attacks and making him lose his cool. But his most devastating power ended up being his own undoing. Discord can only reverse the personality if that unused trait exists in his victim's heart. Since Shadow hides his softer emotions of love and care for his lost friend Maria, releasing that emotion actually became Shadow's source of strength."
"Emo plus a bag of *eff*s makes a deadly combination."
"The winner is Shadow the Hedgehog."
The theme song "All of Me" by Crush 40 plays while a picture of Shadow and his name appear on screen before the closing title card.
Can you see all of me?
Walk into my mystery.
Step inside and hold on for dear life.
Do you remember me?
Capture you or set you free?
I am all, I am all of me.
"Special thanks to Takahata101 for providing the voice of Shadow."
"Thanks for watching."
A/N: Okay, there was one suggestion in the previous comments that I guess I will work on, but I'm not promising pleasant results. In fact, I can almost foresee losing all of my trackers just because of it. Well, now that that's been said...
Properties all belong to their respective owners. I gain no profit for this. Love and tolerance to all!