ROUND 3: Pinkie Pie
Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare...
Far, far, far from as enthusiastic and energetic as she had been twice before, Pinkie looked almost deflated under the new spotlights.
Pinkie Pie...
...First...
...I'm sorry for putting you through that story and everything...
"Oh, uh, it--"
No...
...We went to far...
...What do you say we forget about that and tell a bunch of outlandish lies about you...?
Pinkie started to perk up and looked as if her energy was starting to spark through her puffy hair again. "Okie-dokie-loki!"
Great...
...Blank...?
You want this one...?
All over it...
Pinkie Pie...
...is an orphan...
"Silly, I'm not an orphan, I live with the Cakes."
What happened to your real parents and two sisters...?
"If I told you that wouldn't be any fun!"
Pinkie Pie...
...is still in shock...
"Shock? What shock?"
The shock of seeing a fire gallop over your old home town and swallow up your family...
"Yeah... Wait, what? That never happened. I lived on a rock farm, how does a rock farm start on fire?"
How indeed...
Pinkie Pie...
...controls children with the use of percussion instruments...
"I prefer brass instruments, but I can't control children with them... Just control their feet to DANCE!"
Yes...
...Dance...
...Dance to witchery...!
"Witchery? Are you crazy?" Pinkie snorted a little laugh at the claim, "I'm not a witch."
That's exactly what a witch would say...
Pinkie Pie...
...doesn't think Discord is the God Of Chaos...
"B-But he isn't."
Blasphemy...
Better watch your tongue...
...he might just strike you down or throw you out the backstage...
...Or something like that...
"Riiiiiiiiight... Wink, wink."
Pinkie Pie...
...evilgypsywitchsayswhat...
"What?"
Witch!
With a loud thud, a trapdoor placed before Pinkie swung open and produced a sizable cannon with multiple hoses and pipes linked to it. "...What's that thingy?"
Oh...
...It's nothing special Pinkie...
...Just my WATER CANNON!
With yet another thud the cannon began to tremble before erupting a torrent of water at Pinkie, sending her off the stage with the size and strength of a river.
Now you know...
...Pinkie Pie...
...You know that if she lives she isn't a witch right?
...Just want to be clear on that point...
...Riceicles anyone?
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Edit: yay.
Funny as always have a mustache
Shes not a witch she is a gypsy.
882473 That would've made the joke TOO easy... Plus then I couldn't use the cannon.
I looked everywhere for Time Sorbet in this chapter once the Witchcraft started flying around. I didn't find any.
I'm terrible confused on this one.
Riceicles again
also who was pink voice.....or is that a secret?
882491 I'm gonna level with you... I wanted to do it... But I couldn't think of a way to fit it in...
I could go for some riceicles right about now...
SHES A WITCH!
SHE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT!
882580 A newt?
Oh god the bass cannon reference
-What's that?
-Oh, nothing. Just my BASS CANNON!
The reference was very obvious and funny.
A "Gypsie witch" hey? If that's the case I fully expect some lunatic to begin singing about how his impure thoughts are her fault and not his own. ... I'm sorry, couldn't help it.
Of course she'll survive! First of all there was that time she emerged from a lake while chasing Dashie. Second of all, she ended up in a mirror. One does not do that without being able to survive the unsurvivable. Regardless, things seem to be going well for the M6 on their third rounds. Speaking of which, each of 'em's had at least two except Applejack and Dashie. Wonder if we'll ever get to see them again... and any potential breaks they get from these three loonies' abuse.
Wait, it's already the 53'rd chapter? Very nice mate.
882744 I recognize the Hunchback of Notre Dame reference with the first part of that comment!
And I can't resist saying this:
PIP USED HYDRO CANNON!
PINKIE PIE FAINTED!
Use next pony?
(Yay for Pokemon alluding!)
I spotted that Epic Wub Time reference. Very nice,
882629 I got better.
882843 "Sides' who's up there on the anniversary promo banner? That's right. It's her. So TROLLOLOLO!!" My point exactly... Everyone else was too busy with actual work and you need to give the needy SOMEthing.
882901 BURN HER ANYWAY!!!!
I found myself reading a lot of these out loud to myself. I must sound crazy, but it only made it funnier.
Bass Cannon!
883049 Now, now, there are ways of telling whether she's a witch. Tell me, what do you do with witches?
883294
Burn, burn them up!
she no a witch shes discord and celestias child
EXCELLENT.
I am going to give you a PM just because reading this has been so great.
I almost wish it would never end.
Oh...
...It's nothing special Pinkie...
...Just my WATER CANNON!
That was a beautiful reference
RICEICLES!!!
A good chapter, bro. Needs more references. And Riceicles.
882629 i got better
I just have this vision of inkie somehow surfing on top of the tidle wave of water shouting Wheeeee!
883397 And what do you burn aside from witches?
884056 MORE WITCHES!!!
I bet witches could make time riceicles
So... when she was a little filly,
A galloping blaze overtook her city?
They shipped her off to the orphanage?
Gaaah... all the references... I can't take it... too much awesomeness...
I loved it!
Awesome Friendship is Witchcraft references are awesome.
Gypsy Bard song ftw!
882473 She's neither, she's a pastry chef, those aren't even related, or are they?
If you're rife with devastation,
There's a simple explanation.
You're a toymaker's creation
Trapped inside his crystal ball.
Ugh, and I just got that out of my head!
884165 Wood!
DAFUQ IZ WIT YO RICEICLES
Fire!? Where?!? Rock farm?!? How?!?
glorious...
887711Riceicles are the greatest things invented...
The references.
They are strong with this chapter and it's comments.
Bass cannon in the story, and Monty Pithon in the comments.
th09.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2011/080/9/d/i__m_ok_with_this___celestia_by_megasweet-d3c6xx4.png
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/20336555.jpg
Too many FiW references...
I loved this one XD 
Shes not a witch, she's a gypsy!
EDIT: Oops. Been already said. Oh well.
Oh and also PINK!!! WHO'S THE PINK?!?!?!