• Published 19th Apr 2012
  • 36,167 Views, 9,289 Comments

Know your Mare - overlord-flinx



It's silly, it's pointless, and it makes little to no sense... I've heard of worse story ideas.

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Applejack

Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare…

The blond mane pony adjusted her hat with a hearty smile while waiting in the single spotlight lit room.

Applejack…

…is a cheater…

"A cheat? Me? Well that there's just pony feathers. I never cheated in ma' life."

Applejack…

…is an artist…

"Well now, that's mighty kind of ya' ta' say; but I can't agree with that. I'm not much for—"

…A con-artist…

"Listen here buddy-boy, I ain't no flimflamming Flim or Flam, no sir! I work a good, honest business at Sweet Apple Acers."

Applejack…

…bribed Flim and Flam to ruin their cider…

"That's underhanded! They lost 'cause they got reckless and too full on themselves."

Applejack…

…endorses slavery…

"Will ya' stop that? Yer' spoutin' nothin' but lies! I've never put other ponies in slavery!"

Applejack…

…puts ponies before all other species…

"Now that ain't fair. I give cattle, sheep, even pigs a place ta' live!"

Applejack…

…keeps all the money her family makes for herself…

"Steal from ma' family? Steal from ma' family? I'd sooner eat ma' own hat than cheat the family!"

Now you know…

…Applejack…

"Consarnit! Yer' not even listening!" throwing her hat to the floor, Applejack stormed off into the dark, cursing the lies she was forced to hear.

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