Starlight Glimmer
Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare...
On center stage (what's left of it) stands a budding new face to all the realm; a mare standing rather balanced and equal, all things considered.
Starlight Glimmer...
...We want to ask you a question...
"Ask away. That IS partly why I came here after all. To express myself."
Yeah... Anyway! How tall is a dog?
"A dog?"
A dog...
"I'd say about this tall...?" Putting her hoof at around half her size, she looked confused.
And how tall is a pony?
Glimmer raised her hoof up to her own height. "This tall... The same height as me... A pony."
And how tall is a horse?
Glimmer raised her hoof even higher, pointing her front limb out over and in front of her, as if she were measuring a horse. "This tall--"
FREEZE IT!
The shutter of a camera went off with a great flash; capturing Starlight Glimmer with her hoof raised up in a heil.
This'll look great on the cover of Cutie Marxist Weekly.
"That's not a magazine."
How would you know? You haven't seen civilized living in years!
"Yes I have!"
Starlight Glimmer...
...has a willy...
"I have a w--No I don't!"
Does someone in your town have a willy...?
"Yes. But they're boys!"
Sounds unfair...
Hash-tag Free-Willies...
"You don't need anatomy to be equal to be equal."
Starlight Glimmer...
...Failed first grade math...
"Where are you getting this slanted information?"
Starlight Glimmer...
...Pokes kids with a stick...
"You have to so you can remove the cutie marks. How else would you do it?"
Tirek did it by sucking on ponies...
You're like a smaller, lamer, stick wielding Tirek...
...With bad hair.
"My hair is just--!"
Now you know...
Starlight Glimmer...
"Liars! They don't know anything."
Calling us a liar?
Who's the one that puts blush on her butt?
"It's not blush! It's mascara!" Starlight Glimmer hopped off the stage in a huff, entering the darkness and leaving the show behind.
Bring your hippy-dippy bull-pie to someone who cares!
Yeah! Three out of four of us don't even have cutie marks!
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lol
Well this was a hilarious installment
hue
looks like Starlight was triggered
excellent
well this is expected and unexpected
5822673 Oh, well I couldn't find it, that's why I said that, sorry.
This. Was. Hilarous.
Cutie Marxist. HA!
BURN!
#FreeWillies
Yay. It's back!
Is this a mistake or intentional?
5823782 That's how it's supposed to be.
*claps hooves*
that was nice.
It's amazing how the first villain I legitimately hate produces such a hilarious chapter when given the Flinx treatment.
Snrk!
Now we know Stalinlight Shimmer
5827436 what?
It's back!
Even though I started reading this about a week ago
Hope to see more real soon!
5854428 If you find anything funny in this story, you have a problem.
Aaaaand... Cue nothing.
5854697
*nothing*
Let's see.... (checks my bookshelf and looks at the "Long Stories" section) Wha-?
I thought "Know Your Mare" was done. Let me see here....
Maybe a few "bonus chapters" or a sequel titled "Know Your Mare- Extra Adventures" would be nice, but please do not go out of hand and extend this story any further like you did after "Final Battle: Equestria Part 2" (I felt that chapter was the right stopping point for this fanfic, but it's WAY too late to suggest that.
)
5822847 derpicdn.net/img/2015/4/5/866324/full.png