I sometimes pretend I have a posting schedule other than "sometime soon."
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It really was a very nice hat she'd given Spike.
Even though Twilight gave it back to her after his rampage was over, Cheerilee doesn't want to keep it.
She really should give it back to him.
*An alternate ending to The Secret of My Excess
Editing and Idea wall support given by Minds Eye
Pre-reading and adding a missing 'i' done by Syeekoh
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The feels are strong with this one.
Nice work!
Let me get my tissues ready.
talon-ps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/tissues-o.gif
I don't usually read many sad stories, but this one worked well. Respectful and subdued without going into maudlin territory. Thank you for it.
And there we go. Faved, because I really did like it.
Noble Thought
! Now I can't read anything else without crying due to this.
Think you wanted it, not is here, by the way.
Added to my read later list, off to work for now.
So, yeah, that was pretty good.
The feels!
4927661
4927676
It's the results of a bitten inspiration.
4927677
Thank you. That's what I was going for.
4927680
Thank you!
4927686
Darnit... *finds to fix* Also, thank you.
4927695
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
4927731
Indeed, the feels.
Cool
In your blog post, you said that you were able to write this in about two hours. How were you able to do that? I found the prose extremely well-written, so you've made me envious of your amazing talent as a writer. Anyway, excellent work as usual.
4927804
Thanks.
4927957
Focus, exhaustion, and chatting with my editor on Skype while writing it. I started at about 9, finished around 11:30 or so, and then sat on it until this morning to go back over and edit it.
4927938
Perhaps something she said right after.
4927972 I wish I had the talent and dedication that you have when it comes to writing, but I have much to practice and learn first. Anyway, keep up the good work!
That was nice
It was somber, yet it did not bring me to tears
Or even close
It did give a feeling of deep loss though, and that was very nice
Upvoted
4928066
That was my intent. This isn't a piece that I went in with the purpose of making it a tear jerker. I'm not any good at writing things like that anyway.
I wanted it to be a respectful look at the way a town and two members of its populace dealt with loss with hints of how the others were dealing in their own ways.
At least I think that's what I was going for. I was kinda tired when I conceived it.
4928123 It was very good for what it was
Well now you've done it, you've used Spike to make me cry... Though it wasn't Spike that made me sad, it was all those grieving over the loss. So all in all, nicely done.
I'll see you at the next chapter.
Wow. *Follows and upvotes*
This fic is certainly well done. It has that lightweight, almost poetic feel to it, like the best short stories do. It's not a great abandoned castle in a desolate land in which the bones of a dragon are interred. It's a tombstone. And it doesn't pretend to be anything more than a slab of rock with an epitaph.
But it's the epitaph Spike deserves.
This was a splendid little story.
4928158
>completed.
I'm glad it was touching for you.
4928405
Thank you!
4928459
Thank you again for the impromptu mini-review.
4928518
It is, but life goes on for those he left behind.
4928813
Thank you! And thank you for being an idea wall as the story evolved over... what was it? Thirty minutes before I started putting words to google docs?
SLEN TIID VO!
4928954
I... um.
What?
Edit:
Google translate says:
SLEN Time fields VO !
...
Google search says... Oh! I get it now. I'm slow.
4928961
Spike, ziil gro dovah ulse, dilon?
Krosis.
4929009
Geh.
4928874
I know! It's just a thing I've started saying at the end of my comments mostly as a hope that I'll read another of your stories in the future. Speaking of which.
4929143
Come to think of it... I do recall seeing that in a few comment sections for stories I've poked into. I suppose it just never triggered that it was you. Thank you!
If they were blurring, wouldn't that make them less legible?
Oh, I see what's going on here. Damn. Nice.
Have a like, buddy, and congrats on the feature too.
4929156
Thanks, CV. And yeah... that was one of those "I can see what was happening when you wrote this... I know what it means," moments.
4929149 You are quite welcome! I'm just surprised you're the first person to ask me about that little phrase. Oh well, I'll talk to you after I finish Mayor Mare has a Problem. Probably anyway. I try and comment on a lot of stuff I read.
I thought you didn't like sad stories, Noble?
Anyways this was good, everything felt real, nothing felt out of character, nothing felt unnatural.
It flowed like water over a waterfall, for completing it in 2 hours, that's pretty damn good.
I'll be honest, I had to re read it a few times because I didn't remember the episode. When you talked about Sweetie Belle's paper, I thought Rarity had passed, then I was confused, so I did a quick Google search, and everything made sense after that
4929430
I have a hard time reading them... I also have a hard time keeping them in my head without them affecting me. I had to get this one out and examine it. I feel more centered and calm now that it's out.
I'm glad everything felt real. I wanted that to come through. It's why there's no maudlin emotional over-the-top bits. It's true that this can happen in real life, but it didn't fit what I was going for: life goes on.
Also... I'm terrible at maudlin, over-the-top emotions.
4929454
Honestly, over the top emotions are only good if they are presented in a way which makes them feel real.
What people sometimes don't understand is emotion has stages, people don't generally bawl their eyes out when they see a person get hit by a car. They might afterwards, but for those first few minutes they are in shock.
With stories like this, the character shouldn't be reciting a speech while at the tombstone, they should be standing their sombrely, maybe having a quiet conversation with anybody who happens to be there.
You really did hit the nail on the head with that aspect.
This may be a dumb question, but how did spike die?
4929666
Shrinking down from a dragon the size of a hill to a baby dragon smaller than most ponies instantaneously... that's got consequences. Heart failure most likely. That's a shock to the system.
4929672
Oh.... damn
4929676
Yeah. It's in the story, too. Cheerilee's last paragraph, right before Rarity's "I understand."
4929692
Ah, there it is
I know it makes me a terrible person, and this is a very sad story, but I couldn't help but chuckle at Rarity stealing that King Kong line at the end.
4929855
You win the prize! You're the first person to comment on it.
Also... it has a deeper meaning to Rarity. If you think about the sequence of events that she must have witnessed. What conclusion she must have come to.
4929860 I realize how much it means to Rarity, and the quote does hold a lot of weight in this context. It just makes me wanna watch King Kong now.
4929867
Me too, actually. I'm just kinda excited that someone actually mentioned that
I love that the episode itself contains a reference to King Kong, too.
edit: Not as blatant as mine
Whoa, yikes, never heard it put like that before, crazy... Interesting, though....
Bravo. I shed a tear for our dear, departed Spike.
4929995
I haven't seen anything like it either. Kinda disappointing, honestly, because that kind of a change would be quite a shock.
4930108
In the original, darker idea, I actually did cry. This was the lighter version. I couldn't make the darker one work realistically. It wasn't dark enough for the dark tag, but it was pretty heart wrenching for me to contemplate.
4930157
Uh, I meant your portrayal of the episode, what are you talking about?
4930223
Something similar.
But more specifically, the part where Spike changes size so quickly.
4930255
Do you mean, physically, or psychologically?
4930278
Physically. Every other time he grew, it was rapidly, but also showed a progression in the animation. When the change goes away... poof. He's small again. From medium sized hill sized to smaller than a pony in less time than it took to blink.