X in Equestria

by RoseluckyCinor

Artyom

With a satisfied and content sigh Roseluck placed the last barrel of canned roses into her backroom. night was quickly closing in on the poor mare, she reflected. Nighttime was pretty boring for her as she didn’t have any special somepony to spend the night with. Unlike the rest of seemingly everypony in Equestria she wasn’t a swinger who swung every day and often every hour. It was a strange place, she noted.

There was an awkward footstep behind her. She turned hurriedly and shouted, “Pirates not welcomewereclosedpleasegoaway!” But it wasn’t a pirate. It was a tall, pale man who wore grubby leather clothes. “Oh, hi.”

“Hey,” he said. “I know this is awkward but I’m looking for some ‘flowers’.” Roseluck nodded knowlingly. Humans often looked for a certain plant around her. She winked poorly.

“I’ve got just the right stuff, my friend.” She passed him a tulip and he frowned.

“No,” he said, but before he could say anything else Roseluck got indignant.

“Who do you think you are?” she asked. “I’m the goddamned flower pony of this one particular store because there’s at least two others who sell Lilies and Daisies! I’m the one who plants!” Artyom, the man, was taken aback and then introduced himself, as did Roseluck. Both of them blushed.

“I guess I jumped the gun,” Artyom admitted. “But seriously lady, I’m looking for some weed, yo.” Roseluck gasped. She had heard all the terrible things ponies had said about weed and the like.

“I’m a classy mare,” she said. “I pluck all the weeds out of my garden.” Artyom was suspicious.

“You ponies don’t have the good weed like we do is Clutzhyouski . We get only the finest import of dirt from Stergeonofskidovino!” Roseluck was scared of the man now. He was saying words that didn’t even make sense in the Equestrian Alphabet. It was almost as though he was using weird numbers in his words. She felt tears of fear welling up.

“I’m scared,” she said. Artyom receded.

“No, small horse. I didn’t mean to make you scared. All I wanted was to blaze it before the dark ones come.”

“You shouldn’t call Zebras that,” Roseluck said to the man. He snarkled.

“Not Zebra you dope! I mean creatures who will make you fear your deepest fears and stuff. They have taken over my metro home and I’m only here to smoke weedz and find a book.”

“Book, huh?” Roseluck asked having forgotten that she should be afraid of her deepest fears. “I know a mare with books!”

ELSEWHERE

Twilight was having a nightmare, Spike knew it. She was tossing and turning in her Princess-sized bed. All Spike could do was not really care and sleep in his basket looking at lewd pictures of dragons with gems in unsettling places. On her bed Twilight was deeply unsettled by her deepest fears. She couldn’t help but speak through the delirium.

“Not her! She’s my teacher! It’s not like that!” she muttered through the haze. “I’m a girl though.... blaaaaagh.” Spike looked up from the book wondering what she could possibly be thinking of. Luckily he came to a quick decision that she was being asked to throw a party for Celestia and Twilight didn’t want to muddy the relationship of Teacher and Student. Strangely enough he didn’t want to hear what Twilight was saying in her sleep, he barely liked listening to her when she was awake so he got out of his basket, placed the magazine where Twilight would never look (taped to the mirror) and put a pillow over her head. Just as he’d gotten back to his basket Twilight woke with a jump.

“Celestia that’s improper!” she yelped and pushed the pillow away. “Oh,” she said flatly and blushed. “Did I say anything when I was sleeping?” she asked Spike. He didn’t reply. Twilight was relieved, but not for long. A dark-dressed man crashed through her door.

“I’m sorry, lady,” Artyom said, “But you gotta smoek ‘dis weed.”

“No I don’t,” Twilight conferred. “I’m a strong and independant mare that only used one servant to do all my work.”

“Neat,” Artyom said to her. He frowned. “I guess no Dark Ones showed up?” he asked.

“No whats?”

“Nevermind. Go about your day,” he said. “I’ve got to do what I’ve always needed to do.” Artyom left the room and walked down the stairs to the library proper. There he found tons of books, and, as fate would have it, he read about the Changelings. “Good enough for a life’s mission,” he said. He came up with the plan to destroy them all. He would walk to Canterlot, climb the tallest peak, fire a missile into the changeling homeland and blow it to Cherisstalinska

The plan worked too! Except for a few minors flaws by which the Guards wouldn’t let him into the castle, he didn’t have a missile, and he didn’t know where the Changelings lived.

Comments

[Dolbik]

3383292
I dont have money,and i prefere dota 2.

[Zytharros]

Stuff Pacman in Equestria.

[deathtap]

Pocahontas

[Ember Q Discordia]

Why not "The Squirrels of Burbank"? (SK_PP_ _ND SL_PP_)

[Mr_Perlimpinpin]

Beetlejuice !

[Moon_Fire]

3479551 I SECOND THIS AMAZING IDEA!