FOR MORNINGGLORY, WHO NEVER GAVE UP ON ME
Twilight Sparkle sat alone, like she did most nights, in her library. She was reading a book she’d long put off while lying in bed. Spike lay stretched out on the end of the bed, munching hungrily on a bag of gem jerky. Twilight dropped the book from her magic slowly, letting it fall lightly on her fuzzy chest. She breathed heavily and buried her head into a pillow.
“Ugh!” she exclaimed, though muffled through the pillow. “Why is it so hard to learn alicorn etiquette? Isn’t it all looking pretty and not doing anything important?”
Spike looked up from his bag of gems.
“It’s not that bad, Twilight,” he said trying to comfort his best friend. “And besides, Princess Celestia you had as long as you wanted before she gave you royal duties.” Twilight rolled her eyes but the motion was lost on Spike, who couldn’t see through the pillow.
“We all know what that means, Spike,” she said sarcastically. “It means if I don’t hurry up, my ass is grass!”
“Oh yeah,” Spike said slowly. He remembered the last time Twilight had failed Celestia.
“I just wish it wasn’t so hard being me,” she said.
“You think that’s hard?” A strange, masculine voice said. Twilight had never heard the voice before and her head shot up, pillow flying off and knocking Spike off the bed.
“W-who said that?” she asked. She looked around nervously. The door to her room was ajar and beyond it lie the shadows of the lonely home. She thought she saw something move, but she wasn’t sure. “Reveal yourself!”
A tall man pushed open the door and walked through. He wore a light-blue jumpsuit and had a long blade strapped to his back. His hair was a golden blonde and was formed into tall spikes which dragged across the ceiling, some of them left long scars in the wood. The scars dripped with hair gel.
“Pervert!” Twilight yelled, covering her naked body with the blanket on her blanket.
“You wish I was,” the figure said quickly, but then reverted to his devil-may-care attitude. “I’m Cloud.”
“Why are you here?” Twilight demanded.
“I’m the angel of angst,” he said. “You’ve been angsty, that means I had to visit.”
“Well I think it’s okay that I’ve been angsty,” she said. “I have a lot of responsibility now. I’m a princess.”
“That’s no reason, woman,” he said.
“I’m sixteen!”
“Doesn’t matter! I’ll show you angst. I’m, like, not even a real person,” Cloud said. He made a big show of placing his head between his hands and looking mournfully.
“Philosophy?” she asked. Cloud pulled his head up.
“No, I’m, like, literally not a real person. I’m some space alien cells and a dude’s memories.”
“That’s pretty wack, yo,” Twilight agreed. Cloud nodded.
“And the girl I love is in love with another dude,” he continued on. “Isn’t that just the worst?”
“Well you could be dead,” Spike said. He rose up from the floor and massaged his concussed head. “That would be the worst.”
“There was the time I was dead!” Cloud said hurriedly. He looked side to side. “Yeah, yeah I died and shit.”
“But you’re alive,” Twilight pointed out shrewdly. She patted herself on the back for an accurate observation.
“Nooooo,” Cloud said. “I’m not! In fact, I’m only half alive, actually.”
“How does that make sense?” Spike asked, he didn’t want this shit happening. He took a handful of gem jerky and lifted it towards his mouth. Cloud’s mouth turned into a large O as his jaw dropped and he dashed towards Spike. He knocked the gems from Spike’s hands.
“What are you doing, dumb dragon?” he asked angrily. “Those are materia, which you don’t eat.”
Spike spit at Cloud. “No,” he insisted, “they’re not. They’re gems that were dried and spiced with a dry rub.”
“Even if what you said was true,” Cloud laughed, “that wouldn’t make any sense!” Spike wasn’t amused. Cloud picked up a few of the gems and looked at them thoughtfully. “Now watch this, ICE!” He shoved a blue gem into Spike’s face. Spike gave it a small lick.
“No,” he said, “it’s avocado.”
“Are you being a bitch?” Cloud asked.
“Are we done?” Twilight asked. She had gone back to reading her book. Cloud turned to her.
“No, we’re not done. I need you to learn to not be angsty.”
“Well that’s too bad because I’m really busy and you’re annoying.” Cloud was shocked.
“I’m not leaving until you learn a lesson!” He declared. Twilight threw her book out the window.
“Spike,” she said, “take a note about how I’m going to kick this guy’s ass.” Twilight leapt out of the bed at the human. Cloud had years of military experience on her however, and he reacted quickly. He ducked to the left and came up with his shoulder under her soft, cuddly belly. Her fluffy coat stopped the blow and she came up swinging. But her fur was against her this time. Cloud was unaffected but her hooves due to the fuzzy fur. His hand brushed one of her hooves and he felt his heart skip a beat.
“I-” he stuttered. Twilight blushed.
“Don’t,” she said. But Cloud said it anyways.
“Ice,” he said. Cloud threw the blue gem at her face. It bounced off her horn.
*opens steam collection* thomas from thomas was alone
I haven't read any of this, but for just mentioning Spock, I'm fav'ing this
TEDDY ROOSEVELT. OH MY HOLY GOD DO TEDDY ROOSEVELT.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective meets Fluttershy!
The love I have for this chapter is too amazing beyond words.
Methinks you should do moar
You get 5/5 mustaches
I would like to request Hank hill
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Angry Space Marine
gunna say this..Captain Jack, sparrow or harkness. or better the Face Of Boe
Doctor Steel and/or the Army of Toy Soldiers, please. If you don't know who they are, look him up. I mean, an entire army of nerf-gun-wielding steampunk and rivethead soldiers, led by a toy-designer-turned-mad scientist who wants to take over the world and make fun the world's top priority whether the rest of the world agrees or not? What could go wrong?!
And BTW, I dunno if this affects things, but both Doctor Steel and the Toy Soldiers are real people.
I would like to see what happens when Napoleon goes to Equestria :3
Death the Kid in Equestria.
Gary 'Roach' Sanderson
Or
Garruk Wildspeaker!
2996963
Homie, no one plays Garruk/Gruul more than me
2997016
Yea? I personally only have the primal hunter of Garrul, but as for Ravnica, that's Izzet for me! But my main deck is Dragons and Spiders!
(Good combo of Ascetisism and ElderScale Wurm)
Optimus Prime... that is all
Plz send Rayman Plz
Godzilla.
'Ead Unter Warboss Gorgutz from 'Dawn of War Winter Assault'
Space Marine Commander Indrick Boreale of the Blood Ravens Chapter from 'Dawn of War Soul Storm'
Giantdad Invader from 'Dark Souls'
The Goblin King from Peter Jackson's 'The Hobbit, an Unexpected Journey'
Porridge the Bravest of Brave Adventures
That Creepy/Fabulous Running Titan from 'Attack on Titan'
Cyber Commando Rex Power Colt from 'Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon'
Chakravartin, the Creator from 'Asura's Wrath'
Evil and Indifferent Ren(s) from 'Ren and Stimpy'
Plank from 'Ed, Edd, and Eddy'
City Wok and it's owner from 'South Park'
Ripper Roo from 'Crash Bandicoot'
Invader Skooge from 'Invader Zim'
The Happy Tree Friends from...'Happy Tree Friends'
The Bowler Hat Guy from 'Meet the Robinsons'
That Mother F**king T-Rex from 'The Nostalgia Critic's review of Jurassic Park'
That deranged/dedicated Mail Man from 'The Legend of Zelda the Twilight Princess'
The Air Conditioning Unit from 'The Brave Little Toaster'
The Brain Slug from 'Futurama'
Roz from 'Monster's Inc'
Demented Soldier and Mentally Defective Sniper from 'something_about_canadian_cyclops_and_world_domination.shoryuken'
And Carl Brutananadilewski from 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force'
nightmare from soul calibur 5
Armored Armadillo and Storm Eagle.
The former with the personality of Rattrap from Transformers Beast Wars.
The latter with the personality of Alfred, Batman's butler.
2996838 WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF JACK SPARROW!?!?!? That would be very hilarious
Wow, this is great, keep up the good work. I don't know if you're still taking requests, but I think PewDiePie should go to Equestria. Either him, or Jack T. Herbert.
3000669
What's Pewdiepie
I would like to request Richard Sharpe. There wouldn't have been a changeling invasion of Canterlot if the Royal Guard could fire three rounds a minute in any weather!
I'm gonna have to request Bill Clinton.
"I did not have sexual relations with that pony."
Also, Ratchet & Clank.
3001029
I love you.
3001029
He's a Swedish man, one of the most popular men on Youtube. Don't worry about it. I don't expect you to write about someone you don't know about.