Disclaimer: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is owned by Hasbro and Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling.
'Dearest Luna...' - Celestia's writing translated from Early Modern Equish
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'It has been done. After six moons of fighting and war, I have finally defeated my sister... no, not my sister, but something that had possessed her for my Luna could have never have done what this, Nightmare Moon did. But, just the same, while I may have won our conflict and saved my little ponies from an era of darkness, I have also suffered my greatest loss.
That of my sister.
I was so sure that if I could entrap her that I could use the Elements of Harmony and through them, free my sister from the grip of the darkness upon her. And then things could have gone back to how they were between us before... before our falling out. We would cry, have a nuzzle and embrace, before we forgave each other like we always have before when we fought. But... it did not work out that way. I forced the Elements to work for me alone and used them on Nightmare Moon. Her Generals, always loyal to Luna, stepped in the way and were hit as well. And then, as the rainbow swirled around her, I saw my sister as the darkness was stripped away and felt joy in my heart.
But my dream was not to come true. It was to become a nightmare.
For in the next moment, I saw a expression of betrayal directed at me come across my beloved sister's face as well as anger and disbelief and then... then...
I am sorry my dear journal, it is most hard to write, but write it I shall.
For then, you see, the Elements' blaze closed in on her and then swirled upward, locking her into her beloved moon. I... I could not believe what had happened. I did not want to believe that I have sentenced my sister to such a fate. Even now, as those who followed me are still yet celebrating, I gaze up from my cot to my sister's moon and see her shadow upon it, mournfully looking down at me... or is it accusing me? I dare not consider it too deeply.
My only hope, though, comes from the Elements of Harmony themselves. Back when I was but a student under Starswirl, I remember one conversation between us and Clover, may her gentle soul rest in the endless plains. He believed that powerful magical objects could, over time, develop an... awareness about them. It would take time, but it would happen. And, when my sister disappeared, the Elements contacted me. They revealed, though not through words as much as... a feeling, I suppose the best word would be, that her punishment would be to stay upon the moon, so far away from those whose love she sought, for a thousand years. Or at the least, that is my personal interpretation.
A thousand years without my beloved little sister. How can I manage... But for her sake, I shall.
But that was not all... There are four stars around the moon guarding it, which, once more, I received the oddest feeling from the Elements which told me were Luna's loyal Generals. Their souls, guarding her prison silently for the next thousand years.
And then they turned to me. I have never felt such feelings of disappointment before coming from something. Once more, I have to state that from what I experienced, the Elements of Harmony do not speak as a being such as you or I, but communication using emotions... sensations. What they say is open to interpretation, though from my studies under Starswirl so long ago, I do not think myself wrong. In this case, I believe that they told me that while they would not send me away, like they had my sister as I was needed to protect and serve Equestria, they would punish me for my part in the loss of Harmony between us. I... I am at a loss my dear journal. Is my interpretation of what I had felt that horrible night correct? That I am at fault? As selfish as it is, I wish that it were not so.
But as to my possible punishment, I am at a loss. What is it? Is it not enough to be without my sister, she who has stood beside me throughout the past centuries, my unchanging anchor, for a thousand years? Is it not enough that I also have to live with the fact that I broke the promise I had made with my parents, to protect my sister? To love her? To always be there for her and to put her above myself?
Perhaps... perhaps it is that as well as the pain I suffered as they tore the connection that I had with them to shreds? A pain that tore at my very soul in that time? An agony beyond any that I have felt in all my thousands of years of life?
I know not...
And I cannot put into words how much that frightens me...'
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'It has been a week since last I wrote.
A week of pain and relief. Of joy and grief. So much has happened that I do not know where to start. So, perhaps... I should start with something that may sound a little vain.
My mane has changed. It was once a soft sparkling pink, the color of the sunrise with the sparkles looking much like dew when the light of the dawn catches it. But now... now more colors, those of Harmony itself, makes up my mane.
I hate it.
Every time I see my reflection, my mind drifts back to when I used the Elements against my sister. When my little Luna was hit with magic the same color as my mane is now. I have tried to stop my mind from doing so, but it still does so despite this. Is this part of my punishment? To always have my mind drift back whenever I see my reflection?
And yet, that is but the tip of the iceberg. For I now have to raise the moon to bring on the night. But, whenever I do so, when my magic connects with it... I am struck by a unimaginable wave of sadness, grief, anger, hatred, and, worst of all, betrayal and loneliness. And I know that these are Luna's emotions and to feel them... It tears a hole in my heart that I fear may never heal though ages yet may pass.
Then there are the stars. I have been asked by those who followed me to change the night sky to commemorate my victory over my 'Evil sister' and my conquest of my new dominion. Such foals if they think that I will change one of the few things that I have of my sister. Why would they even think that I would do as such I wonder? No matter, eventually it shall settle down.
They also asked that I strip the noble titles of those who fought on my sister's side of the war and hand it over to those who fought with me as 'Payment'. I... do not understand this. In fact, they some seemed to be angry when I said that I would not. I wish to reconcile all the differences that caused this war. It may yet be a long and hard road, but I am certain that we can put this behind us.
There was also, unfortunately, a tragedy. As I lay recovering from my wounds, one of my own Generals of the Day Guard spoke of executing those of the Night Guard. Fortunately, I managed to prevent such and told them that while they may be punished, they would not be killed. That was not the last of it though as my Court, acting in my stead without my permission, had them forcibly disbanded. While most went back to their homes with anger in their hearts, my personal spymaster noted that a group of several hundred Pegasi fled before they could have their armor confiscated and the Royal Guard spells placed on them dispelled. Where they have gone, neither I nor anypony knows as they flew into a raging storm and were gone. Also, the locations and exact numbers of the rest of the Night Guard, who were not at that battle, are unknown as of now.
And then there are the dreams. I swear that I can hear me and Luna having conversations in them, but... they are not clear. Perhaps in time, I shall see them fully. And speaking of dreams, without my sister sheparding them as she has for centuries until recently, the realm they occur in has darkened. I fear for what this may mean...
And finally, I have decided against counsel to move the capital from the ruins to Canterlot. Most of my court has argued against it stating stability but... but I can not stay here. What happened with my sister was but the latest in the tragedies that have occurred here over the centuries. My parents and uncle's deaths... Discord's first appearance and the final battle against him... my sister's fall... So much. Too much.
I fear that if I stay here, where I can see ghosts from the edges of my sight of my sister crying, of my parents watching me in disapproval... I fear that what happened to Luna may yet happen to me...
Before I leave though, I shall make the journey to where Luna has hid her own notes and journals and have a look within for clues as to what may have happened with her. Perhaps, once she returns, I can use what may be within them to help her.'
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A year... it has been a full year since my sister's banishment. Oh, looking back on it what a foal I was to think that everything would have gone back to how it was. The Harmony that once was now lays shattered upon the cobblestones of the old capital and old hatreds burn bright once more. Tensions have once again risen in the aftermath of the war and there have been... reprisals, against those who followed my sister. Just the other week, an entire household was killed when their water source was poisoned. There have been no signs as to whom may have been behind a heinous act, but with how some of my court has reacted, I fear that they may yet be involved.
And then there comes that I have begun to discover what happened with my sister's fall. There are her journals in which she speaks of the pressures that the nobility placed upon her as well as... what I had done. I almost do not wish to read more of them then what I already have, for if what I am suspecting is true... then I, myself, may in fact be responsible for what occurred. This is something that I hope is not true. But whether I continue reading them or not, I shall still find out as I have found out the last of my punishment.
My dreams.
For within my dreams I have been seeing various incidents from my younger sister's perspective. Feeling what she's feeling, hearing what she's hearing... And every morn I awake with wet cheeks from having cried over the night as I slept. I know that these are her memories that I am reliving. I have felt the pure loneliness she had when no one came to her Night Court. I have felt the anger she has had at members of the nobility... and myself. More then that, I have recently held a Night Court of my own.
And nopony ever appeared.
When I went back over the minutes from past Night Courts, something that I have never done to my ever lasting shame, I have found them almost empty with only a few visits within a year. I find myself at a loss that it was so bad. I never realized... No, I have no excuse here. And there is yet more. I was asked to disband the Night Court permanently and to either cut back on the amount of night time hours or abolish it entirely. I had to explain why there needed to be a night, and how it was for balance.
And yet they were still angered. Oh, dearest Luna, I am sorry that I never truly understood what you had meant...'
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Three years... three years of loneliness... I have also been most busy dealing with the duties that both me and Luna handled separately. I never had an idea that dealing with the Kingdom's finances was so difficult. The mathematics are highly complicated and hard, so much so that I sometimes wonder if dear Luna had used a spell to do the work for her. And the costs of rebuilding are especially hard to include...
As well, the stress is currently getting to me. I am still sometimes catching sight of her, curled up and weeping from being alone, in the corner of my eye. And when I turn, she is gone as if she was never there. Sometimes I also hear mother's and father's voices when I am alone. Both are angry with me for having broken my promise to them and verbally rip me apart. I know that it's not them, that they would never have said some of the things that I have heard, but there are times now when I am alone within the darkness of the nighttime hours, that I wonder...
And then there how I have been feeling ill for the last week. It is most particular as I have been rarely sick, especially to this extent. But for some mornings now I have felt the need to get up in order to empty my stomach. My head has also been aching to the point where I have trouble thinking at times through the pain. Though my body has also hurt with my joints feeling at times as if they were on fire. It is most particular, though I believe that it is due to the great guilt that I must now live with. For I have heard that those with broken hearts suffer outwardly. And it does indeed feel as if my heart has been torn beating from my chest at times, especially during the night when I catch my reflection and that of the stars or moon.
The nobility has also been acting most strange. There are members of my court who have become more and more concerned as the time has worn on and my current illness has stayed. I am warmed by their worry and concern of course, what... monarch, and I use that term with derision, would not feel the same? But there is something... something that does not quite fit. I do not know what it is, for the feeling that generates such is in the back of my mind like a rodent, slowly chewing on a wall, but something about them does not fit. It is as if they are concerned for me while at the same time, they are not.
They have also been asking for more powers and responsibilities beyond those that they have already been given. This began in the wake of my current illness. The arguments that I have heard for them to be given more powers range from giving me time to rest and recuperate to my current state having an effect upon the nation. I have however not given in and granted them more ranging powers. I am not yet so ill and weak as to need to do such as they're asking. I have however become most angry about the attempts for them to have me to teach the spells to move the sun and the moon across the sky. The sheer nerve of such!
I shall never allow them to handle my sister's moon! No, there is none other then myself who I can trust with this duty. It is my burden and my burden alone to move my sister's most precious object...
To move her prison...
Luna... my dear sister...
By the everlasting sky above do I miss her. I once heard a poem wherein the speaker said that 'One never knows what they truly have until they lose it all'. And with Luna's fall and imprisonment, I cannot but feel that that is true for me, that I have lost all that is of worth. I have now realized, with each passing day and night, what she was to me. She was more then just my sister. She was also my closest companion, my very best friend and confidant. I remember how she would always listen to my worries and sooth them. Much like I used to for her... until I forgot to do so. Until I let her worries stew... And now... now there is no pony to which I can speak to. None except for you, dearest journal for dear Philomena has not yet returned from the millennial phoenix flocking. And if the other times that she has gone one them is anything to base an estimate on, then she shall be gone for at least a decade, possibly two. But even she is not and could never be a replacement for the companionship I had with Luna...
I have never felt so alone in my long centuries and it is but three years into a thousand...
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Poison.
Such a small word to denote such a horrendous act.
I have found out the source of my illness and it is that. I am ashamed that I had never considered the possibility that one would try such on me. Oddly, I can almost hear Luna's voice in my head, chastising me for my lapse.
As to how I found out, it was... something that I am almost too embarrassed to admit to even here, in writing. I was laying upon my bed as I mentally reviewed the day's events with my balcony doors open, hoping for some relief from being cooled by the gentle night breezes. I was feeling most unwell at the time, so I was hoping that the night would strip away the stifling heat of the daytime hours and cool me. As I laid there though, a large biting insect flew in and had alighted upon my leg. So exhausted was I, that I could not be bothered enough to knock it away. It then bit me and drank my blood...
And then it fell over, dead.
Shocked by this, I cast a spell and found that it had died from poison. I then used the same spell on myself and found that I, too, had been poisoned. In fact, to my growing horror, if I had been anything but an alicorn, I would have succumbed long ago. As it was, I was growing progressively weaker over time and might well have become so weak before I had realized that I could not have put up a fight against an assassin. Thankfully, I know a spell to help speed up the filtering of a poison, though it shall take a while for me to recover my original strength.
The question now though, is whom was it that has poisoned me? Though there may be more then one conspirator as there are more then one poison within my blood. It shall be weeks before they are all cleared out I fear.
Was it perhaps renegades that still follow my sister and now seek revenge for her defeat and banishment? I do remember reports from my spy masters as to how members of the Night Guard have vanished into thin air these past few years, though that could be due to attacks upon them.
Or, as much as it may pain me, are there those who stood beside me during those dark days in the fight against my sister that may now be prepared to slide a blade between my ribs? With their movements to obtain more power, I must wonder and cannot dismiss the possibility.
To catch them shall take cunning and the all my ability to act...
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And so I have managed to catch some of those responsible. How? I acted as if I was getting weaker and weaker while in fact I was slowly recovering. Some illusion spells and they thought that I was still eating and drinking the food that I was given, not knowing that at night I would simply bring individual leaves and blades of grass from the palace gardens as well as magically gathering small clouds to drink from. I kept an eye out and was not disappointed as just last night, an assassin entered into my room
I must admit that I took no small amount of pleasure in how surprised he was that I was not quite as weak as they had thought, though I was far from fully recovered. After a short fight, I subdued him and got the information that I needed as to whom he was obeying. It appeared that a group of nobles within my court sought to depose me. I only wish though that I could have had them tried for high treason, but what happened next rendered that wish null and void.
For a spell had been placed upon the assassin that activated at exactly that moment and slew him, though I suppose that it was but a mercy for him. His death then activated yet another spell, one that I recognized as having been used originally by the Royal Gryphons. I was a fool not to have checked for such before hoof. The spell itself was designed to slay dragons by paralyzing them and disrupting their natural magics enough to allow them to be more easily killed. Such a spell is a sickening thing as it uses a sacrifice to work. For a normal unicorn, it would have been a death sentence while for myself, at my normal strength it would have only staggered me.
In my current, weakened state, the effects were much closer to how it would have effected a dragon as it left me paralyzed and weakened. And to my horror, the disruption of my magic was enough to prevent myself from casting any spells. It was then that the door to my chambers opened and two of my own Generals and their personal Guard entered as they escorted four nobles.
The very same ones whose images I tore from the assassin's mind before it broke entirely.
As I laid there, unable to move, their leader, Solanaceae, walked up to where I lay with the most vile expression on his face. Unlike in some of the stories that I have read, there was no great reveal, no bragging about his plan coming to fruition. He simply, and slowly, raised his sword's blade which dripped with some form of poison above his head and told me that the reign of the alicorns had entered and that it was now time for the true nobility to take their place as the ruler of the masses as was their destiny.
A moment later the thud of a blade meeting flesh echoed through the air and the sword fell to the flagstones as the magic that held it vanished. Solanaceae then toppled over dead, the dagger that was buried hilt deep in the back of his head revealing what had killed him. It was then that my shock started to ebb and I heard the sounds of fighting around me, just out of sight, through the sprays of blood and gargles let me know that one side was losing. All of a sudden, everything went silent at once as the fight ended as quickly as it had begun. Yet still unable to move or even speak, I simply laid there as I cursed the world, wondering which enemy may have arrived to take advantage of my current state.
I waited and steeled myself as I heard the soft sound of unshod hooves as they stepped toward me. They slowly circled my body just out of view, and I know that it was a group because I counted no less then four different individual ponies from the sounds of their hooves. Finally, one of my rescuers came into view...
It was, to my surprise, one of my sister's own Guard! I could not tell whom it was thanks to the black fabric that stretched across where their muzzle was while the rest of the head was underneath a helm, though the armor identified them as a member of the Night Guard. I must have had an expression of surprise and shock on my face, even through my paralysis, because he chuckled as he ripped his dagger out of Solanaceae's head.
He then leaned down and quietly explained to me, my sister's last standing orders to them, her troops, if she had happened to fall in battle. If my sister was to have fallen in battle, then they were to continue to serve and protect Equestria and myself from within the shadows and night. He did not tell me much more then that though. which I could understand due to the sometimes tumultuous relationship that my own personal Guard had with them at times. The Guardspony did tell me that I could, if ever needed, get in contact with them via the Moon Clan Diamond Dogs. Something that I suppose should have been expected.
I will admit, that while part of me was touched by this gesture from my sister that showed a part of her still yet cared for me and our subjects, there was also shame and guilt. Shame for the fact that I, myself, had issued no similar orders. Guilt that she not only thought that I would exile her or worse, but that I had actually proven her right without meaning to.
The Night Guard waited and stood there throughout the coming hours, silent and yet comforting in a way for I somehow knew that they would give their lives for me if needed. Not surprising as during the war, they would stand their ground and die in situations when other forces except for my elites would have broken and ran. It was a few hours before the dawn when found myself slowly able to move. They waited until I could once more defend myself and before my startled eyes, they seemed to fade into the darkness and vanish like the mists do upon the dawn.
It was soon after that the next rotation for my Guard arrived to find me barely standing amongst several bodies including that of the assassin. I was most... displeased with them. Due to that, I have called a Grand Assembly, the first since just before the war. For with this, my patience has now worn down to but a thread...
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War...
It is always and always has been such an ugly word. No matter the cause or meaning nor the reasoning behind it's conception. For the past seven years, since that attack so long ago, tensions have mounted between I and a group a nobility. A faction that refers to themselves as the "Loyalists".
I cannot help but sneer at the word being as the only thing that they are loyal to is their power and what they consider to be the old ways. And now, almost a decade after, the festering wounds from the Civil War have once more been brutally torn open. For years I have found myself in a political tug of war with these Loyalists as I have tried to limit and take back the powers that they had taken during the war thanks to Emergency Measures. If it had stayed that way, within the court, I could well have dealt with it.
However, there have been murmurings from my spymasters, those whom I know that I can trust after a fashion. Various small kingdoms have been mobilizing small militias in order to deal with "Bandits". There is also how there has been several cases wherein nobles have been... hard... on their subjects while blaming me for it. Rumors that have been painting me as a tyrant. I know for a fact that I have never ordered such crackdowns, and that most have been performed by the Loyalists, who I know would never do such if I had ordered it as they have told their citizenry.
But even all that has not brought about this newest conflict. No...
Two days ago, they issued an ultimatum for me to step down and prevent bloodshed after which, they would create a a hierarchy of nobles to rule. In reply, I told them that if they were to take up arms against me, I would see them and their descendants broken before me, all power having been taken back by the crown. While some of them were nervous, they told me that any farther bloodshed would be upon my crown.
And then they left.
So now I sit within my castle, my eyes wet as I contemplate the coming months and possible years of bloodshed. Beside me are reports from the scouts, claiming that there are armies already on the move... I feel as if I have failed everything and everypony that I have ever known in my life with what is about to happen.
And I ask for forgiveness that I know shall never be mine...
When is the main story going to be updated?
Yay Leferts Lives
Whelp... put your thick skin on, because I've got criticism and plenty of it.
A. Celestia's punishment at the hands of the Elements.
Unless this is a product of her guilt ridden mind, which given how her mane changed color seems unlikely, it is ridiculous. Nightmare Moon was a force of darkness and spite given form. I get that she isn't in the main story, but that's after years of raising a child and developing character. How many ponies died in the war that Luna started? The one she started out of jealous rage because Celestia wouldn't let her throw the entire world out of balance to satisfy her selfish desires? How was Celestia supposed to stop her sister without killing her? Canon says she tried reasoning with her, but Luna refused to listen. So, Celestia takes the EoH and tries to restore Harmony, tries to heal her sister of her madness and the Elements apparently decide to seal Luna away. Celestia then gets punished by them for what? Daring to use them by herself? Trying to help her sister?
You can't lay blame on Celestia for that. Her guilt should spring from either having to lock her sister away for the good of the world (and given what Luna had planned this was more than necessary) or because she didn't notice/prevent her sister's fall to the dark side.
B. Celestia getting poisoned.
How long was she ill? The way this is written, it seems like weeks at least. Was she never examined by a doctor, even though they thought she was ill? Was the doctor (or doctors would more likely) so incompetent that nopony never realized what was wrong with her? Did her spymasters (ponies who should be familiar with and aware of the effects of poison) somehow fail to notice the symptoms, or even suspect that her food might be poisoned? I can buy Celestia not realizing in her grief stricken state, but unless everypony around her was in on the conspiracy then how did nopony even suggest this? Especially with nobles pushing for more power because of her weakened state.
C. Celestia's rescue.
Really?
Nightmare Moon, the pony who threw all of Equestria into war out of jealousy, jealousy aimed at her sister, gives orders that if she falls in battle her soldiers are to watch over and protect Celestia?
You could drive a semi through that plot hole.
The main story is an excellent piece of character development in addition to being an engaging crossover. Most of these side stories follow that high level of quality which makes this one's flaws all the more confusing. What happened here?
2842356
Heh. Got my thick skin on.
1.) Celestia's Punishment: She is, like Luna, partially at fault for what happened, not all of it was Nightmare's. If she had listened to Luna, or taken her aside, none of this would have happened in the first place. But the two drifted apart and Celestia got caught up in the spotlight, this was noted by Luna herself. Luna was left to stew in her loneliness for far too long and by the time Celestia realized... too little, too late.
As to the war itself, Nightmare didn't actually start the war. it occurred right around the time when she was "Born" and she took control of one of the three factions. The war would have broken one way or the other as almost all the contributing factors were already there, it was just that Nightmare seized control of a bit of it.
2.) Celestia being poisoned: We're not talking the modern day here, but what would be a medieval period. Celestia may have had a court physician, but she only used him if she was truly, truly hurt so as to not appear weak. As for the rest, she had taken the reigns of a kingdom still recovering from a civil war, grief-striken, and tired as she now had to juggle both the duties of herself and Luna. It would be expected that she might not feel well from the stress. Also consider the political atmosphere. Any suggestion of her being poisoned would throw suspicion on the accusers. So better to keep quiet about it and watch. Especially as if she was truly poisoned, her health would have worsened much, much quicker, right?
3.) The Night Guard: Nightmare may have despised her, and she did, but Luna still loved her sister. That was the last bit of Luna's influence shining through and the only reason that Nightmare let it stand, was that in her arrogance she did not think that she would fail. Better to let the order stand and shut Luna up and knock down the resistance a bit then to have to fight Luna even more.
2842427
A. Celestia's punishment.
Wait, what? A three way war that Nightmare didn't provoke? Was this covered in the main story or another side-story? If so I don't remember it. Though, it has been a while since I've read them. Regardless, the Nightmare still wanted to conquer Equestria and create Eternal Night, which once again would murder everypony. I do remember that she didn't realize that, but none-the-less it's what she would've done.
Also, you still didn't actually justify the EoH's reaction, especially when you consider Celestia's intentions when using them, their decision to imprison, and the threat posed by Nightmare Moon.
B. Celestia getting poisoned.
Actually, poisoning rulers was way more common in medieval times, how many world leaders do we hear about getting poisoned these days? That's the whole reason why kings had food tasters. Also, if her weakness was enough that the nobles were pressuring her to step down a little, then how could she not have seen the court physician? Then consider how many rivals ponies have in any medieval court and how many of the Lunar guard were still running around, how could nopony have at least suggested it even if they mis-attributed the source?
Also there are dozens of poisons that work slowly as to mimic the effects of an illness. That way the poisoners could actually get away with it. A fast poison would only be used in a violent coup.
C. The Night Guard.
The same jealous, angry Luna who created Nightmare Moon in the first place? Even if you assume that creating NMM did drain her of the emotions that had lead to that creation, how did she give the order? She just grabbed control long enough to do that? She didn't say, for example: "Hey let's not fight my sister to the death", or "Help I'm trapped by this demon born of hatred!". I can see the first one being impractical since NMM would countermand the order, but what about the second? If Luna was being controlled by NMM and grabbed the reins for only a second, (in front of either a lot of ponies or somepony powerful enough to ensure that the order was carried out), then why didn't she let them know she was being controlled instead of saying "well, if I don't win, look after Celly".
I agree that NMM was arrogant enough to assume she'd win, but she and Luna hated each other as I recall. Why would she let the order stand. It undermines her control of Luna, by letting her believe that she can actually defy NMM and get away with it Also, how would NMM not be angry that Luna had grabbed the body and issued orders? What reason does she have not to cancel that order just out of spite?
Oh and happy hundredth comment.
This part of the story in a song:
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7h6siPvqN1qao508.jpg
Until the planets are in line and Harry will give us another update.
Poor Celestia, that old mare has it REALLY rough.
2842721
Same song, but the Animated version of it. I think it carrys just a bit... more for this story.
The tears.
Yay an update! You must post the next part soon! Also update the main fic.
the more back story is revealed the more interesting there reuniting will be.
2842578
The three way war was actually mentioned in the previous chapter:
As for why Celestia was punished as well, a number of her actions contributed to the civil war directly. With Luna, she had a habit of sending her away to the outer reaches to perform various tasks, all the while letting things like Luna's own holiday (the Mid-Winter Moon Festival) backslide in the main areas of Equestria until it disappeared. When confronted with various nobles making nasty rumors about her sister, which included things like Luna letting her be love potioned in order to control her, what was her response? Do nothing and let the rumors die. When Luna asked to take over the day to give her sister a small break? Celestia forgot how they used to handle each others duties way before they became Princesses and told her no before she chuckled as if Luna was a young foal asking to do something that she was not old enough. Then you had how Celestia could have done something in the century between then and when Luna became Nightmare Moon, but didn't. it was a bunch of small stuff.
Also, look at what her punishment is: Her mane color changing to remind her of what happened with Luna, having dreams in which she relives some of their arguments and disagreements from Luna's side, and being a thousand years without her sister. Compared to be exiled to the moon?
As for her being poisoned... We're talking about her illness having slowly come about over weeks and months. Not quickly at all, but by the time she noticed it was to the point where a pony would have died. And even at her worst, it was like a bad flu, so she could shrug it off as getting sick. As for the rest, no one knew that the Night Guard was still running around, and considering how there were still reprisals going on in the background wherein families were getting murdered and so on... No one wanted to take the chance of drawing attention.
When Luna created Nightmare, she did so in order to show that she was just as powerful as Celestia, just as beautiful. Yes, jealousy played a massive component in it. But as to why Nightmare let her do so, Luna was unable to get out that she was being controlled, though more then a few of her ponies suspected it. But letting her get out that one last order would quieten her down, especially as it was one the eve of the final battle. After all, it would have made her believe that she would eventually be able to wrest control from Nightmare for a longer period. As to whom she talked to, it was to her four Generals. After, Nightmare was too busy preparing for the battle, that she could not be bothered. After all, by the time she was finished, Celestia would lie broken underneath her.
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A. Ah, I had forgotten how your Universe's canon went. In my defense it has been 9+ months since that chapter was published. In that case I'll agree it was justified, but after seeing so many 'blame Celestia' fics I've gotten a knee-jerk reaction to that.
B Huh? This only reinforces my point. She was poisoned for how long and nopony noticed? Poison, all poisons, have symptoms which if she was meeting with her spymasters, they should have recognized. Even then a 'bad flu' lasting even a tenth that length would be justification for visiting not just a doctor, but several doctors.
Also, forgive me if I read that wrong, but didn't she write that seven hundred Lunar guards escaped? How would nopony know about that?
Reprisals? What about the spymasters who the nobles shouldn't know about (if they're any use as spymasters) and who should recognize the poison symptoms. Even then, keep in mind court politics. The nobles who wanted the Lunar loyalists stripped of their titles never thought to blame them for Celestia's 'illness'. They couldn't all have been in on the attempted coup, or it would have been so widespread that Celestia would have known about it.
C. Okay... so how does that explain anything? Why was she unable to get out that she was controlled, but able to get out that order? Did NMM let her? If so why? Letting a victim believe they can take control is not sensible plan or one consist with NMM's character. Why would she let Luna think she could do what she wanted instead of enforcing her dominance? The 'quiet down' thing doesn't hold water. Once a person has tasted freedom from their oppressor they inevitable want more, especially when they think they can get it. This wouldn't quiet Luna down, it would only reinforce her sense of power, her belief in herself and lead to further conflict down the road.
When would NMM ever think 'I'll let her have her way, so she'll be easier to deal with'? Imagine NMM as you wrote her saying that. The pony obsessed with her power and ambition letting somepony defy her just to make things easier. Completely out-of-character.
None which once again, explains why Luna would give that order that instead of saying 'Help me, Obiwan. You're my only hope.' Especially since she knew NMM was planning to leave Celestia broken. And if the generals were cool with following NMM even though they knew she was possessing Luna, why would they honor a request that obviously came from Luna?
I think you were going for a certain plot here and just didn't think through the delivery. Correct me if I'll wrong, but I believe you wanted a story in which Celestia gets saved by her sister's lingering goodwill, and thus showing Celestia to be less than perfect and revealing Luna to still care about her sister even in the height of her madness. Not a bad idea, but there are too many plot holes in the execution, especially given that the poisoning and final order are key parts of this story.
The point of my jabs is not to demoralize, but to point out the places you derped up, showing where a re-write would improve the story.
Should it not be: "the reign of Alicorns has ended..." instead of entered?
2844971 On point B... How often does a virtual Goddess expect to be poisoned when they rarely even get sick? And when the world Kinda needs her to even run properly why would she think they would try to murder her? They don't know how to raise the sun anymore. Seems to me its a ill conceived coup that never bothered to consider the long term ramifications, while Celestia never thought anyone would be so stupid.
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Keep in mind that her sister had just tried to not just kill her, but to bring eternal night as well. If a pony that long-lived can be so short-sighted, why would she expect better from mortal ponies?
If she rarely gets sick wouldn't that be more of a reason to assume that her 'illness' was due to an outside source? Maybe, something she ate? Maybe some ambient magic? Maybe... poison?
EDIT: And it still doesn't explain why nopony else noticed.
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Maybe she was just really good at hiding it for a while?
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Then how did the nobles make a point about it? They made claims that her health was bad enough that she needed to hand over partial control of the country, just to get enough time to recuperate. If the signs were noticeable enough for them to even suggest such a thing how could she be concealing it?
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Okay, I actually had to go back over and re-read what I had written and... there's no real need to explain things. Her absolute highly visible symptom was her throwing up every once in a while and tiredness. Both of which could be explained away by stress and not exactly positive for poison. As for the aches and pains, as one of the people who read my stories before I post here said, Celestia was so depressed that she focused on her duties and ignored her aches and pains as much as possible. And the tiredness/exhaustion/listness, well, Celestia was taking over the duties Luna had as well as her Night Court as well as sorting out everything. One would expect her to be exhausted. So only those in the know about the poisoning would have realized that something was up, right up until she tricked them. As to her physician, either s/he was in on it or Celestia just never bothered to go to him.
Luna's final order is even easier to solve really. She simply made it before she went Nightmare as a standing order. "If We should ever happen to fall within battle, let it be known amonst Our Night Guard, that all of thee shall follow Our Sister as if she was Us. This shall be considered Our final order to thou within such a case." All her Commanders learn of it afterward for the years and decades (perhaps even centuries considering that two of her Generals were nearly 500 years old by the time of the civil war) so it became ingrained and neither Luna nor later Nightmare ever bothered to repeal it. Nightmare either having forgotten it or just plain ignoring it as it was not important.
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B. The poisoning.
You're saying that the symptoms weren't obvious enough for anypony to notice, but at the same time the nobles not only notice but were using them to suggest that Celestia step down a little to recuperate. You can't have that both ways. Either the symptoms were obvious enough for the nobles to make their case, during which somepony should have noticed, or they were invisible which should have triggered every warning flag in existence when the nobles began talking about an illness that nopony knew about except Celestia.
C. The final order
Once again the jealous, angry Luna who created NMM said that? Also if she issued that before the war ever broke out why would anypony still follow it? The ingrained explanation doesn't make any sense: they were fighting to the death against Celestia and her forces. If I may liken this to history, it's like a group of former Confederate soldiers defending Pres. Lincoln from John Wilkes Booth. How seriously would you take that story?
Also weren't her general sealed away in the stars around her moon?
Look, we're on the third or fourth round of explanations now. It's okay to admit you made a mistake. I do all the time, luckily my editor catches most of them, but sometimes I have the same reaction. I don't dislike this story, far from it, I'd have simply hit the thumbs down and left in that case. I want to see this story be the very best, like no one ever was. And sometimes that means pointing out problems.
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Did you notice that the animated version made some edits (eg. removing the chorus after "grew only darker as days and nights passed")? I found that very jarring.
Poor Celestia, she is getting punished for her parts of fault.
I must say that I like this story, as it split the guilt and punishment between Celestia and Luna fairly.
And it also show how useless and troublesome nobility is. Why is Celestia even following the whole nobility system as it is proven over and over as unfair and ineffective ( because nobles would care only about themselves, and have influence and position above hard working low class ponies ).
And not to mention that majority of nobility if not all are unicorns, why unicorns always have to get high position over government and privilages, were not they getting enough before Equestira was formed ?
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Well, here, there's nobility from other races as well (Luna for example raised a pack of Diamond Dogs to the nobility). But yeah, a large number of proven troublesome which is why Celestia has finally had enough of them and will be giving them a smack down.
Overdramatized for my taste, but good none the less.
In my headcanon, ponies are prey, not predator. It is only their magic powered by their harmony that protects them and makes them strong.
If their harmony falters, such as in a war, they shall be at the mercy of predators such as wendigoes.
Can't wait for more...HURRY!
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Except, I'm not insulting her intelligence at all, either of theirs. It's only obvious to use because we grew up with such concepts like nuclear winter, the death of the dinosaurs via asteroid impact and so forth. You go back to times like medieval days and you start to see that they did not see that nighttime for a few days straight would have an effect. In fact, a number of creation myths have life on the planet without the sun for a while before it's creation.
Heck, I could point to various works from the 1800s on which postulated that the surface of Venus was forever cast in twilight with it being a jungle full of strange lifeforms. So, neither of them realizing such a fact, especially as the longest nights only occurred deep in the coldest season, is not surprising at all.
this needed to be put here
Wow. Celestia sure has a lot on her plate huh? Poor thing.
3491003 no, this.