• Published 22nd Aug 2014
  • 7,170 Views, 868 Comments

From Humans, to Cryptids, to... Ponies? - TLP



(A CoD: Ghosts Extinction Crossover.) After activating the Medusa device, Godfather's Rapid Reaction Force wake up in a place that is not San Diego. With no Cryptids for once, but there's something odd about this place...

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Chapter 7: "Get Sum!"

"One does not simply kick a Marine in the balls.."


Marcus turned around and was kicked in the crotch. The kevlar surrounding his crotch did little to nothing as he doubled over, his hands covering his family jewels. His mouth was in the shape of an oval and behind his shades, his eyes were wide to a point where they could rival a pony's. The ironic part is that the kevlar had written words on it. The words spelled out "Get Sum!" across it.

Marcus then though "Wait.. why isn't it hurting? He slowly pulled his hands away, thinking the kevlar plate took the full force. Until the unholy pain hit him like a freight train "OOHH....NEVERMIND...OH SWEET JESUS-COVERED-IN-GRAVY, THIS FUCKING HURTS!!!" He then proceeded to pass out, of pain.




Rainbow Dash's P.O.V



Rainbow asked Big Macintosh were Applejack was. He said she was out in the orchard, bucking trees. She thanked Bic Mac and flew back to the guys, until she heard Applejack, who sounded very suprised and mad

"HEY! WHAT THE BUCK ARE YA DOIN' WITH MAH APPLES, YA VERMIN!?"

Rainbow then heard her hit something soft.

"Oh no.. the guys!" She flew speedily back to the group. What she saw when she arrived confirmed her fears. Marcus was on the ground, unconcious with a look of pain, and Applejack was getting yelled by the group, their black weapons aimed at her. Fluttershy was beside Marcus, trying to wake him up.

Rainbow flew in the middle of Applejack and the group "Woah, woah! Calm down, everypony. Tell me exa-" She was cut of by Applejack.

"Rainbow! Thank Celestia you're here! Can ya help me take these ape-things OUTTA mah FARM?!" Applejack said, putting emphasis on 'outta' and 'farm' as she glared at the guys.

Rainbow responed nervously "Actually A.J, I was gonna tell you if they could eat some of your apples. I'll pay you back, I swear!"

Applejack gave her a look "Wha- why? One of 'em looked like it stole one of mine!" She pointed at Marcus, who was still unconcious.

Fluttershy spoke up. "A-actually, he saved me from a pack of Timberwolves, saved all of us from a Manticore, and him and his freinds took me and Rainbow in to eat and sleep in a camp they made."

Applejack was suprised, but a bit unconvinced "Timberwolves? How many then?"

"Five outta seven." Rainbow answered. Applejack looked at Fluttershy, who nodded to confirm she was right.

Applejack sighed and spoke "Wow. Five? Darn, shouldnt've bucked him. Poor thang must be hurtin' alot."

Jackson spoke up "Well yeah! In case you didn't notice, you kicked him right in the groin! And he's out cold! Damn, he's gonna be pissed when he wakes up."

"Bucked in the groin by A.J? Ouch.." Rainbow winced a bit just thinking about it.

"Ah'm sorry ok!" Applejack exclaimed "Ah didn't know!"

Jackson replied "Yeh, but you don't simply kick a Marine in the balls."

Applejack asked "A wha-?"

Rainbow spoke up "Lets just say you'd rather have him as a friend than an enemy." She answered.

Jackson then chuckled "Don't worry about it. He'll forgive ya. He ain't that cold."

That statement was put to the test when they all heard a groan and Marcus' voice.

"Whoever kicked me is gonna get a faceful of buckshot.." He stated.

Fluttershy gasped, while Rainbow tried to stifle a laugh, and Applejack raised an eyebrow, looking back at Jackson

Jackson nevously chuckled "Eheheh.. maybe you should just apoligize to him now.."





Marcus' P.O.V


Marcus woke up, the pain was definatley there, he groaned and spoke "Whoever kicked me is gonna get a faceful of buckshot."

He then heard a gasp and stifled laughter. He put one hand on his groin and tried to kneel.

Marcus heard Jackson say something, but groaned again as he kneeled, putting a hand on his shades and taking them off, throwing them on the ground. He then heard the same voice from before he was kicked.

"Eheh.. hey there, partner.. you okay?"

Marcus looked up and immediatley recognized who it was "Applejack..heh... go figure."

He coughed a few times and replied "I've been better..ow."

Applejack smiled nervously "I'm sure ya have. Look, ah'm sorry for bucking your... yeah. Ah thought you were some monkey trying to steal mah apples." She said.

Marcus chuckled "Don't worry, I forgive you. But uh..could you bring me some ice or something cold, please?"

Applejack nodded "Sure thing, sugercube." She ran back to the barn.

Marcus looked at the group. Rainbow just straight up laughed when he looked at her.

"What? Did I say something?" Marcus asked, confused.

Rainbow spurted out "Buckshot?! HAHAHAH!" She laughed manically.

Marcus was still confused as hell, until Fluttershy whispered what it meant.

Turns out 'buckshot' is the same as 'cumshot'.

Marcus' eyes widened again as his face turned so red it could melt iron. This only made Rainbow laugh even harder, pounding her forelegs on the ground, literally ROFL'ing.

His squad immediatley put two and two together and laughed along with Rainbow. It was at that moment that Marcus facepalmed and learned a very valuable lesson...

...karma is a bitch.

Jackson then spoke up "So much for 'balls of steel', huh?" He laughed.

Marcus replied "Fuck you, at least I still got my balls, you pussy."

"And my 9-bangs.." He thought as he grinned manically.

Rainbow and Jackson said in unison "What're YOU smiling about?!" They said with shit eating grins.

Marcus replied, his grin still on him "Oh nothing. Just remember that karma's now in my favor..." He stated.

The laughter died down when Applejack came back with a pack of ice cubes.

Marcus took the bag "Thanks." He said as he turned and put the bag of ice in his pants.

"Aaah... that's better." He thought as he sat back down.

Thompson asked "Can you walk?"

Marcus replied "No, not for a couple hours.."

He heard Rainbow groan as Applejack asked a question "Why? Where ya'll headin' to?"

Marcus thought "I think you know why.." Then Rainbow spoke up

"I'm gonna take these guys to Twilight. Maybe she'll have some answers." She theorized

Marcus spoke up "Maybe you should bring her here. Unless you wanna wait like 4 hours, which I doubt you do."

Rainbow nodded "True... okay then, I'll be back in a bit. But be ready for a flank-load of questions. She's kind of an egghead." She warned.

"So I've heard.." Marcus thought, then responded "Don't worry, I think I can handle it."

Rainbow's eyes widened a bit, then she closed them, shrugged, and flew off to get Twilight.

"The fuck did I just say?.." Marcus thought.

Author's Note:

There's a little easter egg with the name of a certain rapper in this chapter. Find it, and you get a cookie. :rainbowkiss:

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