Ponies can be weird sometimes. And the weirdest, most stupidly obvious thing about them is they can't snap.
An exercise in vernacular.
Chapters (1)
Bandy
Joined 24th Dec, 2011 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- GnollReader · 121k words · 1,309 21 · 19k views
- TDR · 247k words · 2,187 70 · 29k views
- Immortan Joe · 3k words · 367 12 · 8.9k views
- Dusk Writer · 8.3k words · 324 10 · 6.4k views
- Iridescence T Wind · 241k words · 1,000 90 · 15k views
- Garuda IV · 811k words · 839 78 · 16k views
- Navanastra · 58k words · 194 14 · 4.3k views
- Pigrangler · 43k words · 81 3 · 3k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.124 seconds
Total duration
1,016 users online
34,380 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Give your griffon a name. A jazzy fella like him should not be nameless. Maybe snaps? That sounds like it would suit him.
Loved how you used jazz to describe the differences between ponies and griffons. Although jargon may not be a good idea, but it works in this context, even if I did not understand it.
The way you couched the scene in the backdrop of a pony/griffon war was suitably subtle, a hint to the
bigger picture, I like that. Although a little bit more detail as to the present location won't hurt.
Good story, when all's said and done. An exemplary first person pov.
4866917 Thanks for the kind words, bud.
I chose to keep the griffon anonymous mainly because I didn't really feel he needed a name. I like to imagine this story as one told by a drunk griffon who wandered up to you at a bar late at night. In that context, I think it's best he be anonymous. What do you think?
4867595
being a one shot story, I think the anonymity suits the context. After all, the focus isn't really on the characters right? Its more about the differences between griffons and ponies explained through the medium of jazz music, so in this case, I think the griffon being anonymous works. Just one of those people a budding musician meets as he practices his craft.
By the way, do you think you can give a comment or two on my own story? I'm doing a rewrite for it and I would appreciate advice on how to do a better job. The story's title is 'Friendship and Pleasures', if you are willing to help that is. Thanks either way!
4869635 For sure, dude. I'll check it out tonight.
The characterization of both the griffon and the pony here is extremely strong. It's really impressive considering how short this is. I got a good feel for who both of them are, even in this limited space. I've seen people write a hundred thousand words about characters and still have them end up with less personality than these two had.
Are you entering this into that Outside Insight contest? Because you should.
4872792 I completed it about a day too late, unfortunately. How tragic.
4890066 Yeah! If you'd get on Skype already I'll tell you about it. I think I've already done that to an extent, but now it's like half complete and I have a better perspective on what I'm doing.
Also jazz swap go:
I really love this, with how strong a voice you've been capable to play in so little words. Some worldbuilding glances, hints at gryphons being the dominant here that the main character seems to carry with him, yet they maintain a less than stellar image. Ponies seem to have the better hang of wealth and culture, but gryphons the heart and mayhap strength? There's a lot to unpack, sorry if I'm necroing a story but this one shot is a piece I read once in a while because it works very well as an appetizer. I can attest that what he says about jazz is true, as many folks I've rubbed elbows and skin with were too academic, too scared to experiment with their visceral thoughts, when all it took was your guts and experience. Kinda wish I knew how to snap properly to convey how much I enjoy this. Lots of your older one-shot work has hidden depth, glad to follow on Haze at the moment.