this is my first ever try at writing a fanfic just need to wait until it gets submitted (hope it does) your views are appreciated

No offense, but your capitalization's a mess man.

Get it fixed.

it seems good. Im having a story shortage at the moment, and ill watch.

Brony4Days

thanks for the hint ill keep it noted but its 01:00 am right now and i have school in morning but i will be hoping to upload second chapter at lunchbreak so stay tuned also im looking for a cover art i have a febw suggestions but im always open to ideas

One does not simply give an enlisted man a $300 million dollar jet.

Rambopilot

all will be revealed later after he eventually explains his story of that one fatal day im dissapointed  that i already have 5 dislike but no i shall continue writing mystory hoping it shall get better and i want to thank everypony who have already favourited the story and the one like so far there is more to come

i like it.>>459558459558 can't seem to understand why people don't like my stories ethier.

>>459558459558 i like it. can't seem to understand why people don't like my stories ethier.

lordjohn of snowwood

thanks when ive got time i'll have a look at your storys later yeah right now i has school (boring)

p.s. you wouldnt happen to know anypony who can do cover art would ya if not im ok with it

I don't usually read fic with humans in it, but this caught my attention. +1

Darkslayer7

well thank you kindly good sir you have earned yourself one of these

Write More please you are tormenting me I think that this story is very good

ponytime

im glad you think so you know im ofering places formore characters in the story

mooooooooore. i must have MOOOOOOAR

snipesalot0

oh its moar you wantz well moarz you shall getz when i have acess to a pc instead of my ipod

Wanna use Silver for an OC?

Earthpony, brown coat, brown mane...and you guessed it! Brown eyes.

He is the same age and size as the mane six.

His cutie mark is a 5.56mm round standing, the tip pointing upwards.

He's smart and resourceful (when he wants to be) he's an idealist, poetic, lazy as times, and a team player. He is hopelessly clumsy, gets frustrated easily, he's sarcastic, and can be very simple-minded as times.

He is also analytical, and is an amateur tactician.  And because of that, he has a HUGE crush on Twilight.

His fighting style is a mix of a regular soldier and a CIA agent.  

His weapons usually consist of standard assault rifles, but he loves to use suppressed sub-machine-guns and pistols. If he has a gun...chances are he put a suppressor on it.

He also prefers stealth and avoiding detection. He uses knives and even throwing stars for close combat. He is a master fencer but hardly ever gets to show it off in combat.  He always carries sticky C4 charges and plants them on enemy equipment as he advances.

His physical strength is decent but not the best, but he makes up for it. In close combat he fights with finesse and skill rather than brute strength or power.

He usually wears a simple ABU cap and a headset with a mic attached to it.  He also wears green-lit NVG's but only puts them over his eyes when he needs them.

He is usually used as a standard soldier, except that he also collects Intel while he's on a mission.

His parents were killed during an "ethnic cleansing" campaign carried out by zebras in his country back on Equis. He's not an Equestrian pony, though he's like one, except more "in your face" and prone to violence.

His native country is the Republic of Karalia, it borders Equestria and the Changeling nation. It's a gritty and high-tech nation, and the zebras or 'Insurrectionists' are constantly rebelling against it, and the changeling harass their borders. The Republic of Karalia is proud of their military tradition and their troops are some of the best, well-equipped, and advanced fighters in the world.

His name? ....:Sean Silverstein

He also goes by his nickname "Silver"

He is the rank of 'Ensign' in the Karalian military, which is the nation equivalent to Equestria's Captain of the Guard. There is only one Ensign at a time, and are famous for giving hope to the citizens in time of war, and viewed as a hero by many.

Ensign is only awarded if the applicant has performed amazing feats on the battlefield and has superb skill, experience, and talent in war-fighting.

Whatever you decide to do with him is your choice but hopefully this is enough to supply you.

There is probably a lot in here that isn't nessesary so you're free to tailor him to your story!

You don't have to use all of this for him but here he is. If you only need his personality that's fine!

Thank you for considering and I'm gone!

Silver out!

silverstein222

is this for my fic or for the haylo 2 fic a bit confused here

>>494113494113 SO MUCH WIN

but you might want to fix up your speech because it gets really confusing when somepony is talking and when they are not.

anyways GRDDDDDEAAATT STARAH!

saxon

erm thanks i guess i'll try and sort out the speech for the next chapter

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! more?

snipe>>508713508713

i told you all i would be uploading a new chapter soon didnt i well hope you like it there's plenty more to come

TROLOLOLOLOLOLO YEAYEAYEAYEA BUMBUMBUMBUM!

>>519159519159

ooooookkkkaaayyyy i dont know what that ment but i guess it was a good thing so erm thanks i guess

>>519218519218 really you dont know what that meant? you trolled at the end of the chapter.

>>519255519255

ah I see

I like it!! keep up the good work man, I love the way you've laid out your story so good work!! defiantly deserves a like!!

>>524072524072

why thank you sir hopefully the next will be out soon...once i get my hands on a pc again

oh shit!!

>>527851527851

oh shit indeed

I NEED MOAR!! oh, and i love this story!! keep it up!

>>527955527955

and you shall tonight when i get home from school so i can finish the next chapter

this is some good stuff!!

>>529517529517

why thank you and for your reward the moustache has been doubled

>>529774529774

Its really hard to read. Punctuation would be nice... If you wouldn't mind, that is

>>529859529859

i know i know i try my hardest but i'm the best at times and when you dont have a pre-reader it makes it a little bit harder i wil try and sort it out so its bit better in future

>>529895529895

I can preread for ya if you want!

Silver out!

>>532592532592

i know that what a pre reader does but how do i give them the chapter so they can check it and stuff i'm a bit confuses on what to do with that ?  

Don't worry, I got stuck on this too. Derp ya right back!

Just attach it to a private message to me or email it to me at airforcewriter222@gmail.com

Hope this helps!

Silver out!

>>532757532757

aha well thats solves that problem thanks mate

You seriously need to use proper punctuation. Don't just throw thoughts in there.

Example: Dammit! I thought, What the f***

Don't use apostrophes to talk

Example: "Hey Dash!" I yell at the cyan pegasus, eager to talk to her, "What's up!"

yeah i know i try but now that i have a pre reader he can help me with that thanks dude

yea! the next chapter in the propho- i uhh mean uhh awesome story

>>539342539342 i dont understand what you mean please explain?

>>539395539395 the cult didnt give me premission to speak of the propoche- did i say cult?! i uhhhhh meant group now where was i? oh, im not allowed to speak of the prophocey

>>539532539532 what prophocey

Dude, I don't have to be on to pre-read. Just mail me your chapters whenever you want and I'll take care of the rest!

Silver out!

>>542798542798 k dude

Capitalization and formatting of your paragraphs need work man. Also, you were vague and jumpy when you were describing things. Don't be afraid to go into detail when you're describing stuff man.

I like the concept of this story and I'll read on!

Yes...I didn't ACTUALLY start reading it until now!

Silver out!