No offense, but your punctuation SUCKS. I can be your editor. I mean, it's REALLY bugging me. Anyway, really good story. I HAVE SENSED SHENANNIGANS

>>457360457360 seriously?

I thought I had perfect punctuation, oh, if you want to you can correct our grammar as well

that is if you want to and if you do I'll have to PM you the Gdocs link

No yelling please.

>>457404457404 there won't be yelling (at least from me)

and I'll PM you the link now

No yelling please.

Equis... now where have I heard that before?

>>457415457415 hope to see you there!

>>457428457428

who knows?

Image: http://s3.amazonaws.com/bronibooru/0c73a2a9e61a6c40a0fb5ccb68d63b51.jpg

>>457415457415 Blazer promised no yelling from him

Blarg? Red vs Blue refference?

>>463384463384 Eeyup

here, have a cookie

Image: http://www.levanacooks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/chocolate_chip_cookies-3102.jpg

Just so you know: the dark figure here is Itachi Uchiha.

It was supposed to spell "Luminaire" damn. Anyways we're not only throwing Kingdom Hearts references, We're having Chrono Trigger references (Hence the Luminaire attack) so if you like ponies, Kingdom Hearts and Chrono Trigger you MUST read this fic.

“Then it’s settled, you will be Herbtail, you will be Frostfall, you will be Herbtail, you will be Fleetrain and you will be Moonfire, you guys like it?”

The scene in front of the ponies changed to a large, technologically advanced room room with two beings that looked like Marcus.

“As I was saying, who are you? and what are you doing here?”

“The-They are monsters! they killed everypony!”

1. You repeated that one line.

2. Repeated again. (vroom vroom!)

3. Extra Question mark (?).

4. Forgot to capitalise the T.

That is all for now, other nazis may join in and find more mistakes... who knows?

>>486829486829 oops

didn't see those in the doc

they're there because of Parasprites are in my computer!

EDIT: taken care of

>>486852486852 I am sated. Beware for I still lurk... like a Pinkie...

>>486881486881 I'm kind of a Grammar Nazi myself and am hurt that those escaped my vigilance, but rest assured, they will be harder to find in the chapters to come

This looks promising indeed. But from the art, I can imagine but to think Kingdom Hearts.

>>512073512073 there are Keyblades in here

so... yeah, it's a crossover for KH

Yesh me likes...

Image: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zBf7r8XSfqE/TrWynMsq0JI/AAAAAAAABQY/TzzlGopHdpM/s320/mlp+my+little+pony+meme+bronies+cereal+guy+trollface+me+gusta+fffuuuu.jpg