The first chapter was an enjoyably omnious take on Celestia's position, power, and pressures.

The second chapter... Um, did you just throw that in to bring the word count up to one thousand?

>>464892464892

Yep!  And I'll add more short stories here as I write them.

>>464896464896 Oh. So it's just a collection of random short stories. Cool. Could you adjust the story page to reflect that? Between the blurb and the picture, I was expecting more on Celestia teetering on the edge of sanity.

The buck just happened? No, seriously somepony explain it to me. First I was reading about Princess Celestia losing her grip on her sanity, now I'm reading how Fluttershy f*ed up about the One Ring. How in the hay does that work?

>>465207465207

Those are two separate vignettes, not chapters to a single story.

Also, am I a bad person for now wanting to read more about the reign of Rainbow Dash?

Hehe. AWESOME.

All Hail Rainbow Dash!

>>465375465375

>Totally Not a Pony: Also, am I a bad person for now wanting to read more about the reign of Rainbow Dash?

Yes, you are bad.  But not bad enough.  Try again.

This is brilliant in a twisted way.  Or maybe twisted in a brilliant way.  One or the other.

I'm glad these stories are short, though.  

This is a collection of short stories, so the "next chapter" is another story.  If you have a story under 1500 words, and think you're evil enough to join the Evil League of Evil, send me a message with a link (and a pic if you have one).  If I like it - a lot - I'll post it.  If not - I think you know what happens to those who disappoint Bad Horse.

This was inspired by Hemingway's "The Green Hills of Africa", in which Hemingway portrayed himself, perhaps unknowingly, as a creepy guy who roamed around Africa, killing anything he could kill but never enjoying it very much.

Writing in Hemingway's style is a lot like writing a script.  You can't use interior monologue; the only way to show what a character feels is by showing what they do.  I couldn't do that in a short-short.  Not enough space.  Nor did I want Vincent to be a Hemingway protagonist.  Then he would be too manly to care.

I could've used a little more. Maybe the realization that the narrator was hunting and shooting sapient beings, maybe just seeing where the story went from here. Still, what you did do was quite good, in a chillingly dispassionate way.

I'm going to have to read some Hemingway.

G3 stands for Generation 3.  Friendship is Magic is Generation 4.  Generation 3 was... different.  I'm not hatin' on G3.  It's just not for bronies.  "Shipping Costs" features actual Generation 3 pony dialogue.  The rock is from "Tom's Cruise," on this site.

This chapter is, so far, disliked.  If a particular line bends your nose out of shape, please leave a comment saying which line it is, so that I can properly ridicule your lack of taste.

>>470089470089

"Maybe the realization that the narrator was hunting and shooting sapient beings"

He'll realize it in 3... 2... 1...

To be fair, there are quite a few stories that involve Celestia exercising her - ahem - royal prerogative with her guards.

Kudos for demonstrating the one time it's a good idea to look a gift horse in the mouth.

>>475447475447

Fair enough.  (Though I never seem to come across them, outside of Ask Princess Molestia.)  That whole exchange was a little off anyway.  Changed accordingly.

I'm imaging Brian giving out the biggest nooooooooooo.com ever

> Like the time she destroyed half of town hall by accident while trying to fix it.

Oh like you've never destroyed half the town, Twilight.  

>>502491502491

"According to my calculations, I've still saved it more times than I've destroyed it."

"We're not furries."

Sure, Darth Brony, keep telling yourself that.

(Now where did I leave my asbestos suit again...?)

Pony Tales has twice as many ''favorites" as thumbs-ups.  If you favorite it, think about maybe giving it a thumbs-up... just sayin'.

>>507353507353

Ponies have hair, not fur.  So we're hairies.

Brian, I pity you.

So, so much.

Twilight, Twilight, Twilight...

...you really should've seen that one coming.

Technical question.  The story is written in third-person limited, Twilight's POV.  Then Twilight disappears, but the story continues, now necessarily in third-person objective.

Is that kosher?  Did it bother you?

>>534979534979 I'd assumed it had switched to third-person limited, Pinkie's perspective. Which, depending on how you interpret her, is also third-person omniscient.

In any case, no. I switch perspectives as needed.

Also, I have no idea why this story made me smile, but it did.

I like the idea that when Celestia thinks bad thoughts, bad things will happen. It's like she's keeping up the happiness of Equestria...

“You seem to have an inordinate fascination with this topic.”

“- and slide my hand over a taut, zebra-striped rump, feeling the soft fur -“

Umm

Witchdoctor huh? That Zecora sure carries some grudges, boy howdy!

Be funny to see this from a Teddy Roosevelt side, where when he discovers they're sapient he's pissed....because that meant he could have challenged them to a brawl instead. "Coulda knocked'em clean outta their skin without damaging those fine pelts! "

Brian, I envy you.

So, so much.

....What? Fashion is a huge thing with me!

Time to get cracking on the Molestia fics I suppose!

At least Derpy never destroyed the town with a mailbox before. That is something uniquely Twilight.

>>565193565193

Some questions I believe this can answer, if you'll but notice which pictures repeat most often dear sir!

>>575963575963

"Be funny to see this from a Teddy Roosevelt side, where when he discovers they're sapient he's pissed....because that meant he could have challenged them to a brawl instead."

That's hilarious!  And so very Teddy.

I will blame you if I ever ship Teddy Roosevelt with Fluttershy.

Oh, shit.

LIKE!

Well, the last part is funny, but I always assumed the All-Seeing Eye, the watch-towers, and the Ringwraiths mounted on zombie dinosaurs were the actual reason no one tried flying into Mordor until after Sauron and the wraiths were gone.

Huh, sort of  a Magic Knights Rayearth prequel vibe to this one.  For those of you unfamiliar with one of CLAMP's lesser known titles, it had three school girls summoned to a magic land where an evil priest had kidnapped Princess Esmeraude, the Pillar whose prayers kept the land together.

Except it turned out he kidnapped her to keep her safe and get her away from the duties of being the Pillar, focusing on the happiness of the land so hard that she'd actually summoned outsiders to kill her because none of the people of her world had the power to do so and she wanted out of her miserable existance.

>>804668804668

What?

"A brief vision he had of swirling cloud, and in the midst of it towers and battlements, tall as hills, founded upon a mighty mountain-throne above immeasurable pits; great courts and dungeons, eyeless prisons sheer as cliffs, and gaping gates of steel and adamant: and then all passed. Towers fell and mountains slid; walls crumbled and melted, crashing down; vast spires of smoke and spouting steams went billowing up, up, until they toppled like an overwhelming wave, and its wild crest curled and came foaming down upon the land. And then at last over the miles between there came a rumble, rising to a deafening crash and roar; the earth shook, the plain heaved and cracked, and Orodruin reeled. Fire belched from its riven summit. The skies burst into thunder seared with lightning. Down like lashing whips fell a torrent of black rain. And into the heart of the storm, with a cry that pierced all other sounds, tearing the clouds asunder, the Nazgûl came, shooting like flaming bolts, as caught in the fiery ruin of hill and sky they crackled, withered, and went out."

Oh, right.  That.

You've just ruined my own story for me - but you un-ruined Lord of the Rings, so I will spare you from my horrible death-whinny.

Wait, what?

*headsplosion*

This was hilarious. It was just long enough to set up the joke without wearing it thin. Excellent work.

Sadly, Discord forgot to rule out being sent to the moon.

Now I have to go ponder if "black" and "white" refers primarily to who goes first, ala chess, or if Discord gets to be the hero and Celestia the villain this time.

>>814928814928

"Now I have to go ponder if "black" and "white" refers primarily to who goes first, ala chess, or if Discord gets to be the hero and Celestia the villain this time."

The answer is: Whichever one is funnier to you.  Or more disturbing.

I would've had him say, "I get to be the good guy," but I wanted them to not even make a value judgement about it - just talk about it like it was the difference between the black pieces and the white pieces.

Maybe the best ending is to leave you wondering?

I would definitely read the logical continuance of this story.

genius...

It's hard to rhyme with Hasbro.

I based the picture on altair4's picture below, redrawing it with fewer levels and words so it wouldn't be so busy, and adding the Magic level and the fireworks.  GIMP is awesome!

noooo, don't stop there...

this would make a great full length poem.

(and ponys atop the piramid of maslow works so well)

>>850511850511 "(and ponys atop the piramid of maslow works so well) "

Does it, or is that sarcasm?  I was thinking about how I could get rid of that line.  It has meaning, but it doesn't scan well.

>>851434851434

no really, I liked it,

maslow's hierarchy of needs would be 20% cooler with ponies atop it.

see?

Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/51040258@N02/7497486604/

Click for Maslow's pony, Inline image not working.

>>851989851989

It IS 20% cooler!  But I can't figure out how to download the picture.

if you follow the link you should be able to right click, ill pm it to you if you want it, and try to save it bigger if I can.

flicker links don't seem to display here.

twilight...you're a horrible pony.

hey! the intro is like the raven by Edgar Allan Poe.

once upon a midnight dreary

bla bla bla bla bla bla weary

lots of stuff

bla bla bla bla gently rapping

rapping at my chamber door

take thy beak from out my heart

and take thy form from off my door

quoth the raven   nevermore

Yes, how does one go about somehow becoming one who "could take pleasure in... just... being with somepony else"?! That's what I want to know, too.

I . . . I can't let myself become that type of person, I tell myself, just as does Twilight, you know?

Of course you know; you write art with a purpose to try to advocate some morals; that's what art should do. But I (and Twilight, were she somehow shown this piece during her lifetime)'ll still walk around thinking to myself, "I can't let myself be like Pinkie; Pinkie's indiscriminate; indiscriminate's bad. I gotta be aloof, be condescending." Shit, I feel lame and weak-willed.

Oh, no, I'm a good person because I don't dislike that guy; I just happen to not like him too much. Hahaha, what a conundrum, the question of whether to feel obligated to feel regret; am I a bad person if I'd live this life the same way, given a second chance? I mean, I can't possibly be a bad person for not attempting to actively like every person in the world, so I feel better than Pinkie and think of her as silly; yet I think of Pinkie's efforts as admirable. Why in the world don't I try to emulate what I think of as admirable, one may ask—

Screw me, some dumb kid, typing out some ramblings on the Internet to strangers. I'm gonna go read that silly self-help book about "changing your attitudes" and such stuff that my sister offered to me and that I dismissed. Reading it seems like a good idea, now that Twilight's monolog to The Judge makes me think about it.

Thanks.

Thumbs up for you, Bad Horse. I'll definitely read your other works, learn some lessons. Yay, deep things.

Hey, man, you accidentally typed a second "had" in "I could have had had a family."

>>965589965589

This is my favorite comment out of all the comments I've ever received.  I'm afraid you won't learn much from "Twilight Sparkle and the Quest for Anatomical Accuracy".  When I write a story, I test it on ponyfictionarchive.net or fanfiction.net first, and post it here only when I've gotten it into a state where most people like it.  As long as I stick to just entertaining people, they like my stories.  Whenever I write about something that's important to me, they hate them, probably because I get pulled into the idea and make my characters talk and talk.  None of my stories here hold much personal meaning for me, except this little short story, "No Regrets", which I snuck in here.  Until your comment, I never knew if anybody got it or not.

I made a google docs page, Bad Horse's Bad Stories, with links to some of my stories that haven't posted on fimfiction.  Read at your own risk.

Thanks!

Awesome Piece!! Really well written and deeper than we often care to look into others or ourselves

HOLY BUUUUCK!!!!!!!

Pinkie Pie is best troll!! Also I didn't even remotely see that coming!! :) Well played!

Not sure the thud would be all that loud; there are 21 pony shaped cushions down there, after all.

ouch.

hits like a freight train

.......

i KNEW that joke!

why did i not see this coming?

>>805036805036

Somehow missed this reply last time, so I'll just stay I'm always astonished by how many people miss plenty of plotholes yet want to make ones where there aren't any.   Spectral riders on undead pterodactyls are so metal you'd think more people would realize they make a serviceable eagle deterrent (the eagles were probably circling just across the boarder waiting for an opening, thus providing quick response time).... Unless it's that people forget everyone said the Nazgul would die with the ring because their deaths go by pretty fast?

The way I read this, he was hallucinating from being drunk, and the 'griffin' he shot was the little girl, who was bleeding out as she was saying 'Oh daddy, why?'.

Am I totally wrong?

This reminds me of a comic I read on the internet, where Celestia punishes Discord's escape by forcing him to watch a Season of MLP. He says 'seems like a good deal. What's the catch?' It's Generation 3. He says 'Oh, that's just plain EVIL!'.

I can't find it on the .net so I can't post it here because it won't let you post pictures directly, so I typed it out... I fail.

>>10652591065259

Oh.  Maybe I need to rewrite that somehow.  What I meant to have happened was:  He and his friend hired the witch doctor to take them to a land where they could shoot mythological beasts.  The land is Equestria.  The griffin and the unicorn are a griffin and a unicorn.  He got drunk because he felt bad for killing a unicorn, but didn't understand why.  The little girl is the unicorn's daughter.

>>10590641059064

Nah, I still think it's a plot hole.  The plan they used, walking in, was even worse, knowing that there was a giant wall patrolled by guards around Mordor.  They didn't know about the passage underneath then.  Flying in had to be easier.  They only had to fly over the wall; they could do it at night.  Just fly up a few thousand feet, over the wall, and down.  And they certainly could have flown the hobbits all the way to Mordor.

It's generous to call what they did a plan at all.  It should have been clear from the start that the Fellowship was not going to walk into Mordor, but they never worked out what they would do when they got there.

>>10653151065315

I use http://imageshack.us/ to put images up on the web, like when I have a story to submit to EqD and need a URL for the picture.  I think you can also put it in a Google doc, then right-click on the picture in the doc and get its URL and use that, if the document is shared so anybody can read it.

>>10668981066898 I didn't get that at all. Sorry...

>>10669131066913

Image: http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/245/discordcallstrollestiae.jpg

THANK YOU!!!

>>576806576806

Hm?

You know what this made me realize?

There are all sorts of alternate universe fanfictions reversing Celestia and Nightmare Moon in some way- RainbowDoubleDash's Lunaverse, where Princess Luna has ruled alone for a thousand years since Solar Flare was banished to the sun; Sunshine and Fire, where Celestia, Luna, Twilight Sparkle and Spike are thrown into a world where Daymare Sun rules with an iron hoof; Night's Favoured Child, where Nightmare Moon rules Equestria in a surprisingly peaceful eternal night and serves as Twilight Sparkle's mentor in magic- and yet I don't recall ever encountering one swapping Celestia and Discord.

This could be interesting to write.

This one makes me think. Good job.

If friendship is an equivalent exchange, is there anything wrong with accepting it when it's offered but not offering it to others? Is there anything wrong with declining an offer? With declining all the offers?

The complement of "indiscriminate" isn't "aloof" or "condescending". It's just "discriminate." There's nothing wrong with choosing your friends in and of itself, whether or not there are wrong ways to choose your friends.

Initiative is a funny thing. In most contexts it doesn't matter who initiates an interaction (a friendship, a discussion, a gesture, a fight), because most of the results stem from the interaction, which would have gone the same way regardless of who started it. Does it matter to the dishes whether someone's child has to be told to wash them or not? No- they're clean when he's done either way. And that's the result, right? Well, maybe not to the child's parents... It's good to be able to initiate that sort of interaction (doing something for someone else) yourself. But does that mean it's bad if you don't? Or just less good?

>>12360041236004

I didn't have that idea at all, until you said that.  Well, I still don't, exactly.  I'm imagining a story where Celestia and Discord represent order and chaos, and Harmony must strike the proper balance between them... and the balance has swung too far in the direction of order.

Awesome ! (that's the word to use, right ? )

Image: http://www.myfacewhen.net/uploads/3639-brilliant.jpg

I should have seen it coming. Alas, I didn't, and my forehead is now intimate with my desk. OW.

Thumbs for this one itself.

And for this one, I'd like to take away the thumb-up I placed for the Derpy chapter. It's not worth a thumb down, but augh.

A slightly extended retold counting joke? Bonus point for the Gricean conversational maxim part, it did add to the effect, but...meh. Maybe I've just been overexposed to this joke.

...perhaps I should have read more of your other works before starting out on this collection.

>>14620651462065  NOT MY THUMB!  GIVE BACK MY THUMB!

Wait.  Horses don't have thumbs.

>>10669131066913 I just use google docs. create a document then add the image then just copy the link.

Well.  I just came across this from the Author Note in 'Mortality Report.'  These two, for lack of a better term, just suckerpunched my feels.  I've read mortality report before, but that was a while ago.  I just noticed the link to this chapter, and figured, why not?  These two stories share a similar pretense, but where each character goes with it is different.  Celestia with realizing what she has to do, and Twilight with what she hasn't done and never will get the chance to.  Both drew a single tear from me, each.

Bad Horse, thank you for writing both stories.  I'll post a related comment, with a copy of this in 'Mortality Report' as well.

I don't see why this chappy is disliked. It certainly got a chuckle out of me.

>>534979534979

I dunno if it's kosher, but it certainly didn't bother me. Maybe if it happened more often, in a longer fic, in a more glaring manner. Then maybe. But certainly not here.

>>12619971261997

I think you mean

Image: http://dash.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133410843347.png

You're a bad, bad horse, Bad Horse.

oh dear

MY FEELS HAVE BEEN FILLYNAPPED!

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-z2tQSdJeYXw/TptenmsAm6I/AAAAAAAAOWw/A-TUmvOa0-8/s1600/20754%252520-%252520apple_bloom%252520apple_bloom_is_not_pleased%252520caramel%252520scootaloo%252520Sweetie_Belle%252520why_jpg.jpg.png

*jawdrop* Wat.

It all makes so much sense now!

You really had me going there.

God I love this, can't go wrong with poe.

This story is bad and you should feel mildly bad, but not like bad bad about it.

>>16101331610133 Agreed.

Now, if he'd discovered the secret to Floam...

No.

>>986699986699

I read that your story Moving On, and I was rather enjoying it. I have no idea why it was so disliked. Possibly the extent of Twilight's vocabulary may have deterred some people, but you captured her so well.

The life of a Fisher King kinda blows.

Oh lord.....

I like this one, I needed a giggle after the soul crushing despair the previous chapter hit me with.

>>507380507380

No kidding?

Its my own fault for even clicking on this.

*Twitch*

Best possible alternative to Sauron.

I would expect Dash could get there and back in under a week, though, and thus wouldn't have the time to be truly affected.  But this is much better

>>474879474879 >>10668981066898  I suspected that was the case, but I wasn't quite sure.  I think I liked it better when it was just barely ambiguous.

This was great and silly, even with the sharp turn for the dark at the end.

I didn't get the Kibo reference, but if it's just for rhyming then it may not matter.

Did this really happen to you, or does it just make good poetry?

So many things you write that I read start with me saying No, I'm not going to read this. I don't like sad or tragic stuff. It makes me cry and it hurts like hell inside. Or it's horror and I hate horror, it keeps me up and gives me nightmares so I won't read it", but after a little while I'll sit and fidget and eventually I'll start coming up with reasons, justifications to myself "Maybe I'll just read the first part, I'll read til it gets sad, or scary, or whatever it is I don't think I can handle and then I'll stop." I never do. I never manage to stop, I get completely absorbed into it and swept away no matter the length of the piece.

Long or short it all so often seems to overwhelm and carry me off. The silliest part is I won't even fight, It's like being lead off by the fairies in old fairy tales. You don't fight it. you go willingly. you smile and skip along and disappear for days or months or centuries and if you're unlucky you return home again, after everyone you knew and loved is long gone and you're simply a fairy tale yourself.

I always wondered for those people felt. Did they regret it? Did they cry and beg to be taken away again? Did they hold the experiences they had close to their chests and never forget them? did they try to suppress them?

I know how I feel. Every time I justify reading something you've written that makes me cry or terrifies me and keeps me up at night, I admit how I truly feel., That no matter how much I argue and state and try to justify. I keep reading. I keep coming back for one more dance with the fairies.

I found my brain simply switched to Pinkie as the main without issue. Also I can't help but At thinking of this joke only to have it come true.

>>12360041236004 I would be interested to read that.

And I agree that the best endings are the ones you figure out for yourself. Which is why one of my favourite plays is "Time and the Conways"