I’ve just finished changing Luna, when the doorbell rings. I kiss Luna on the side of the head, and let her go play with her siblings. She does so with a giggle, and an immediate tagging as “it” from Twilight. I stand up, and let her run into the spread-out fray of ponies.
Walking over the safety gate, (which reminds me of Safety Torch, why, I don’t know,) I make my way over to the front door.
However, not before I stop at my bedroom, walk in, and retrieve my Desert Eagle from its hiding place under my pillow.
I’ll need to move this somewhere else...Can’t have my children playing around with a gun...
I fetch my holster from my top drawer in my dresser, strap it on, and shove the Desert Eagle into the pouch, leaving the clasp open, so that I can take it out if needs must.
Now, you may be wondering: why do I have a holster? Well, in a neighborhood where you’re constantly fearing for your very life, it can’t do to have your pistol tucked away in your pocket, where it can end up getting stuck. Or just falling out.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering why I didn’t just hold the Desert Eagle out in front of me, it’s kind of my second nature to put the holster on.
Also, it makes me feel badass. Which I kind of need here and there.
I slowly open the door, cursing the lack of a peep hole, and see Charles.
“Hey, Charles,” I say, opening the door wide for him to enter.
“’Sup, Pete,” he responds, immediately walking around me, and into my bedroom.
“Uh...Where are the ponies?”
I place my holster, (and gun,) down in my top drawer, and motion for him to follow me. “They’re playing tag in the living room.”
He appears dubious, but I pay no attention as I walk through the hallway, and into my living room, taking care not to crush one of the ponies underfoot as I make my way back to the couch.
“Wow,” Charles says as he climbs over the gate, “They’re pretty smart. Playing tag at las than a day old...”
I bend down to pick up Derpy Hooves, cradling the precious little filly in my arms like a gem. All of my worrying about her has brought me to be ridiculously protective about her. Hell, when I left the room to open the door, the only thing going through my head was the fear of Derpy getting hurt, somehow.
“Well, I think they may be a bit more than a day old,” I declare as I take my seat on the couch, wondering as to why Charles hasn’t blurted out everything that happened at the house yet. “I think they may be a few months old, since Pinkie Pie already said something similar to a word.”
Charles nods, and carefully picks up Rarity, cradling the white unicorn carefully as he takes a seat next to me on the couch. “Yeah...Hey, where’s Fluttershy?”
I look around. Fluttershy is nowhere to be seen. She was on the couch just a few moments ago, and there’s no way she jumped down to play tag.
“Oh, shit,” I mutter, beginning to panic.
That’s when I see the small bit of pink mane, and the small yellow muzzle, coming out of the couch.
I instantly place down Derpy on the couch, and lift up the cushion that Fluttershy is hiding under. The yellow filly looks up at me with a blank stare, no doubt wondering why I interrupted her nap.
“Fluttershy,” I coo, “what’re you doing down there, baby?”
Fluttershy blinks, and smiles up at me. I can’t resist.
While Charles simply stares on, I move Derpy to a safe position on the couch, re-orient myself so that I’m on my chest, with my knees on the arm rest, gently lay one hand on Fluttershy, and rest my chin in front of her, letting the cushion fall onto my head as I touch my nose to her tiny, yellow muzzle.
“Heya, Fluttershy,” I coo to her, the yellow Pegasus giggling lightly as I rub my nose against her muzzle. “Taking a nap under the cushions, huh?”
She nods, and snuggles up with my head. “Well, you have to come out now, okay?”
Fluttershy pulls back, and frowns at me in confusion and disappointment.
“It’s dirty in here, and I don’t want you getting your pretty little coat dirty.”
With an obedient nod, Fluttershy slowly crawls out of the cushion as I hold it up with my head.
I pull my head out of the cushion, and it falls back into place with a pompf. I look down at Fluttershy, who’s simply staring up at me, somehow immaculate.
“How’d you stay so clean, Fluttershy?” I coo to her, smiling as she simply lays her head down and begins to nap again.
“She really wants to talk,” Charles Chuckles.
Subliminal messaging, oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo.
I nod, and pick up the yellow Pegasus, cradling her into a small nap as she sucks on her hoof.
“So,” I say, addressing Charles even though I’m watching the game of tag. “What in the hell happened at the house?”
“Oh, Jesus,” Charles sighs, smiling down at Rarity despite his state of aggravation. “I’ve seen some...Stuff,” he says, careful not to curse around the children, “but this is new.”
“Well, what happened?”
After taking a deep breath, he launches into a tale that only Aziz Ansari could make funnier.
“Well, when I walked into the house, everything looked fine. Beautiful dining room, beautiful fireplace, beautiful...Everything, really. And right by the beach, which is perfect for the ponies, ’cus they could swim in the beach and stuff.
“Anyway, after walking around for a while, I notice a small hatch in the ceiling. Luckily, the owners of the home weren’t around, only the realtor. He said that he’d never seen the hatch before, and that there was probably nothing interesting in it. Which is exactly why I opened it.
“So, I got a ladder, ignored the realtor’s bi-I mean, moaning-on about how it’s nothing, and I managed to reach the string in the wood. When it opened, there was only a small ladder that I could use to hoist myself up.
“Well, I found a bunch of drugs. And the realtor knocked over the ladder I had used to get up there with, which obviously means he was part of it. In all honesty, I thought I was going to die.
“Until the police came. When they got me down, they assumed I was hiding up there, but I told them that I was looking around because I was interested in purchasing it.
“Of course, they didn’t believe me, so they brought me to the station to look up my background. Then, the weirdest thing happened: their eyes kind of blanked out for a second, and when they came back, they let me go, free of any charges.”
I release a small *humph*. Just like what happened with Agent Brown...Obviously, the alicorn who had helped me out with that was keeping a close eye on us, and was ensuring that we would find a place for our ponies in the world.
Now, you may be wondering: why do I insist on calling the voice an alicorn? Couldn’t it just be God, or something?
Would God let the world know that humans aren’t the only Created beings that have a soul, and therefore shut down one of the main pillars of Christianity, namely about humans deserving more respect than animals? I thought not.
Anyway, I don’t mention the incident with Agent Brown to Charles. I feel as though the words that the alicorn said were for me, and me alone, as I don’t want to drag Charles into something that even I don’t understand. And I’m the centerpiece of it.
So, I simply shrug, and absent mindedly watch the ponies run around, and so does Charles, the both of us chuckling as Pinkie Pie begins to chase Luna, which is ridiculously cute and funny, because the latter is actually “it”.
With a deep breath, I decide that it’s time to address the elephant in the room. “We need to find a new house, and bad. I think we should get one out in the West, where there’s a lot of open space for them to play in. Hell, with $1.1 million, we can probably buy a small mansion...”
I hear a sharp intake of air, and turn to face Charles. “You okay, Charles?”
“I forgot to tell you.”
He puts on an evil grin, and tells me one of the most amazing things I’ve ever heard in my life. “The manager of my bank owed me some money. About five million bucks, and interest has been pretty low, especially since he let me open up an account for free. Anyway, I scored him a bunch of buildings, so he owed me about a million for each one.”
My jaw drops. “So, we don’t have $1.1 million, we have...”
I chuckle lightly. The chuckle slowly builds up to a giddy laugh, and then explodes in a boisterous bout of laughter. “We have six million dollars!?”
Charles simply nods. “Yeah. Calm down, it’s not that much.”
I stop laughing, and smile wide at the man next to me, faltering a bit as every one of the ponies in the room simply stop running, and stare at me. “Not much!?”
He looks at me, a serious glare etched on his features that cuts my laughter short. “People always freak out about six million dollars. But then they spend it on stuff, like nice houses, new clothes, televisions, and more. If we have six million dollars, we can only spend, at most, three million on real estate for our own use. I’ll put one million in your bank account, and trust you to use it wisely. A million dollars can run out in a few months, so be careful. And, I’ll keep two million in my bank account,” he adds on with a flourishing hand gesture towards himself, “so that I can invest it, make a portfolio, and get a steady flow of cash.”
I smile incredulously. “Dayum...Well, I’m pretty sure that my kids are going to be spoiled.”
Charles simply raises an eyebrow at me, but says nothing as he turns his attention to Rarity. I smile, and look at the ponies staring at me from the floor.
“Go on, guys, keep playing, I’m fine, we’re just rich,” I reassure them.
Charles clears his throat, places Rarity down beside him, and turns to face me. “We need to decide something. First off, we need to decide on a house.”
“Yeah, I know. And a way to get the ponies from here to the house. I was thinking something like an SUV...”
Charles smiles at me, and I know what he’s going to say before he says it. “What, like a soccer mom?”
I simply stare at him. “I will eat your soul,” I mutter.
He nods, and takes a deep breath, collecting his thoughts before he continues on. “Go get your computer. I’m going to research rather large properties...”
I nod, and set Fluttershy down, and walk out of the room.
But not before I say one thing.
“Charles, let me get this straight: You’re a tycoonist, and yet, when you need to buy a building, you didn’t bother checking your own bank account for money, where there just happened to be five million dollars?”
He visibly blushes, and stares at me with a look that says “I will kill you”. I simply nod, and leave to get my computer, snickering in the privacy of my room.