And without reading it i instantly hope Spike gets um both (solutionized)

now to read it

>>488995488995 If Spike does not get both of them "in the sack" at the same time, he is no longer a man.

>>489002489002 you sir have earned a /brohoof

Spike? Sweetie Belle? Rarity? Love triangle? FINALLY. I've been waiting forever for a story like this. Thank Celestia it's well written.

Inb4 featured.

>>489013489013

Image: http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120313000035/central/images/6/6c/Dashie_aj_brohoof.jpg&sa=X&ei=TbOVT7a8LKmw0QXNs5TnAQ&ved=0CAoQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNFlpb43EnbK_sOibb5bBoNcQ23uEA

I require some more, quickly!

If this turns into a clopfic, I will stop writing pony fan fiction forever. Leave light and hope for me yet.

You occasionally switch tenses, from past to present, in the middle of a paragraph. For instance:

"It wasn't like this was Rarity's first date.  She's had experience with colts before, but this was different.  She's never had a 'first date' with someone she knew so well before."

That should be entirely past tense. I'd also recommend against addressing the reader directly, as long as we're on that paragraph. But this isn't a bad start, by any means. Just be mindful of those little grammatical quibbles.

And do give poor Twilight a break. She's not that hefty.

One correction.

"For you malady,"

Think you might have misspelled that. If memory serves, I think its spelled, 'milady'

I only bring that up because as seen here malady has a VERY different definition.

Other than that, *faved*

>>489098489098

Shit!  You're right!  Damn you Polish spell checker!!!  

One other thing...

The Season 2 Finale suggests that a Unicorn's magic color seems to be genetic related. Shining Armor's magic was Rose-colored like Twi's, which they both inherited from their mother.

I say this because I'm starting to think that Sweetie's magic color might be Light Blue like Rarity's is.

Of course until someone from the show staff confirms this, this is little more than rampant speculation on my part.

>>489160489160

Well, I assumed it was related to the colour of their cutie mark.  Since that's a more constant pattern from what we've seen.  If you look closely, it does fit Shining's magic too.

>>489082489082

After rereading part of what I've already written, I conclude that you are correct...damn it.  I'll keep a watch on it in the future.

"she could have worn nothing and Spike would have been impressed"........ i have the same thought about all my dates.

Anywhys awsome well written and promising as hell.

Spikes got his swag on.

Image: http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/113/d/9/spike_swag_by_sandperv-d4xcyyn.jpg

Great start! Keep up the good work.

Spike's the swag king!

I can't wait to see what happens next

"...and Rarity?"  Spike pointed to her nearly empty glass.  At the bottom was a small amount of amber liquid.  They had quite a bit to drink.  But at least they weren't tipsy yet.

Is this fic set in the future or does Equestria serve alcohol to under-aged dragons?

Spike you pimp.

I mean I'm just saying enjoy this moment while you can.

Interesting storyline overall as it sound fun a bit, but I can see this ending not well for Spike in the end...or does it ?

>>489440489440 the better question does equestria know what a under aged dragon looks like.

Image: http://s7.postimage.org/j83eut88b/1196915015114.png

Fanfiction with copyright. I'll steal it!

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!

one thing, Spike is a baby dragon and Sweetie bell is a filly. They are both under aged! Oh my gawd!

But still . . . .

This one!  

vs. this one!  

Because of this one!  

and we all like . . .

Image: http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/5/10/128864585637690523.jpg

lol, it looks interesting and can't wait for more. Spike/rarity is my one of main pairings but still looking forward to however it turns out.

This has some real potential. 'Tis a rare fic indeed that has Rarity developing feelings for Sir Spike de Draco

A few technical errors dotted about, but nothing too glaring that it broke the flow.

Also, nice to see a fic that doesn't dive in straight away with how long Pony A secretly loved Pony B, but never had a chance to show it before their love break through their emotional damn in the space of 500 words.

Tracked for high potential

>>489701489701 Will Spike is a baby dragon hes like 13 i belive i pony years and the mane six are all like 16 17 and 18 so they arent much older then him. But anyways story still awsome i mean the cats do a good job of saying that.

>>489440489440 Will it could be like europe they have a better job of slef control then USA. Trust me i live here and the 17 year olds me included go crazy over a bit of alcohol.

How i feel about you for writing this.

Image: http://themotivationsite.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/awesome-dog.jpg

>>490103490103 hmmm not really in to the love triangle thing. I wasn't saying it was awesome ( I don't like shipping). but I was saying that they were under aged. But since you told me about spike, there still the problem about sweetie bell.

  "But I don't want to be in a fan fic while still being a filly!"

>>489440489440

Perhaps Spike is older than you think.  Actually truth be told, I didn't think about it, but the way I envision Equestria is an athiest state, mostly libertarian, with means few laws regarding drug use.  So perhaps there are no laws regulating alcohol consumption.

I think the drinking age in France is like...12.

>>490279490279 I understand your point dude. its cool.

Image: http://sonisworld.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/bush-thumbs-up.jpg

>>489609489609

Copyleft dude.  You can 'steal' it if you obey the by-nc-sa provisions.

>>489002489002

You're right, he's a dragon.  Also, it's rated E for Everypony!

>>490353490353 hmmmm . . .

Image: http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2005/2473047860_07b7be6cc9_z.jpg

It was that guy. He stole my crack . .  .

>>490353490353

>>494483494483

How's this: you're both wrong.  Now, stop posting giant photos unless they're relevant!

This wouldn't be so bad if this site had some way of hiding them.

>>494528494528 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .*thinks about it. VERY TEMPTING*

Fine I won't. . . .I feel:

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/5a13338fbd7b3dc4676bb44ac0931bbf/8449%20-%20feels_bad_man%20meme%20rarity.jpg

(You know you love em!)

i hope spike end up with rarity

Yes this was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good

spike gets rarity

as for sweetie well let the picture show u

Image: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/003/619/Untitled-1.jpg

An awesome start, hope to see more soon!

Spike's going to get himself into loads of trouble between these two. I guess Shufflin' Spike is really going to need to master his groove to keep himself from getting killed.

May the Grace of the Valar Protect You

Shire Folk

>>528936528936

"Spike's going to get himself into loads of trouble between these two. I guess Shufflin' Spike is really going to need to master his groove to keep himself from getting killed.

May the Power of FUNK be with you

Shire Folk"

Fixed

Man, I expected a longer chapter....but it's actually turning interesting!

Ha! I'm reminded of when Spongebob taught Squidward to "feel the crane."

Nice chapter!

This is going to be a great story!

swagger up son.

>>529451529451

Who taught what to where?  Seriously, I can honestly tell you I have no idea what you're talking about.  

>>529745529745

Here you go.  

Yep liking this so far. any clue when the next installment will be up?

>>534431534431

Chapter Five might be delayed a bit while I work on another project: A Waking Dragon.

Though I hope to juggle the two stories as much as my schedule will allow.

Look at Spike gonna be struttin that ass