Complete Rewrite
It was no stretch of the imagination to say that Limestone Pie was a tomboy. But nopony in Nickerlite or beyond would have dared mentioned it to her face. Though young, and admittedly a little rude, there was one thing about the spunky mare that ponies had to respect. Limestone was confident. Confident in her abilities and confident in who she was. Some ponies spent their entire lives searching for the confidence that came so natural to her. Unfortunately for Limestone, that confidence got her into a world of trouble.
Stupid good for nothing sister. Limestone kicked the nearest boulder, sending it arching into the grey sky before crashing down to earth with a tremendous thud. Her triumphant laugh echoed around the otherwise deserted sea of rocks. "Take that, you know it all!"
The only response was the cloud of dust billowing from the new crater. Limestone knew she would get in trouble for denting up her father's fields, but did not care. Igneous was delivering rocks to a buyer. As far as she was concerned, the farm was her oyster for the day. And nothing, not even Marble's smug comments would get her down.
As a "junk jeweler," she was always looking for pretty stones that might be fashioned into middle of the road trinkets. It was her special talent, and thankfully, it did little to interfere with family business. There was precious little profit to be had selling the kind of stones she used in her work. In fact, they were so useless, that nopony else in her family bothered to collect them. That suited Limestone just fine. Captain Limestone's treasure hunt across the ocean of rocks, battling the elements and ruthless foes along the way. She ought to write a dime novel.
Walking the fields was second nature, and with a practiced eye, she was able to pick out any potentially useful stones. The frustration and joy of jewelry making was that rocks of every shape, size and color imaginable were needed in the process. Often times, she would pick up two full saddlebags of rocks and not have a single one the size she needed. Chipping away at the tiny stones was a pain in the rump and she wanted to avoid it as much as possible.
"There's one!" She scooped up a shiny jade colored stone that reflected what little sunlight permeated through the dense blanket of cloud. It was beautiful, but completely worthless to a rock farmer. Just the ticket.
The process repeated again and again, leaving her plenty of room to brood on her earlier conversation with Marble. Her older sister seemed under the delusion that she, Limestone Pie wanted to go to the Nickerlite dance with her. And, to add insult to injury, Marble had the gall to suggest that she would set her up a nice stallion from town. As if!
If she wanted to go to the stupid dance, she would have asked a stallion herself. Marble always assumed that just because she acted "unladylike," she would never have a coltfriend. What did she know? Limestone did not date because she did not want to. It was as simple as that. A fact completely inconceivable to her sister.
Limestone scooped up yet another rock, this time a grey lumpy one. Though it looked the color of oatmeal, she knew the type well. Put it in her mini rock tumbler for a month, and it would be a sparkling kaleidoscope of color. Perfect for a filly's necklace. Just as she started for another, a loud rustling noise drew her attention. She stood bolt upright, scanning the fields with a practiced eye. A wide smirk stretched across her young face. Got you.
In the scraggly brush, somepony or something was rustling around. Immediately, Limestone's thoughts jumped to her father's cautions the day before. Apparently, a new pony had moved into the mountains behind their farm. Igneous seemed convinced that whoever it was had to be up to something, and warned her to keep an eye out.
With as causal an air as she could muster, Limestone walked towards the spot. Just as expected, the thing burst out of the bushes at alarming speed. The chase was on. Limestone lurched towards the grey blur, hooves eating up the distance. Closing in, she noticed that it was no pony she was chasing. It was a Diamond Dog. "Get off our farm!"
Snorting and blowing like a bull, she charged closer. The creature's grimy coat was drenched in sweat and panic shone in its grey eyes. They charged across a relatively open stretch of ground. The perfect spot to finish their little race. Limestone lunged forward to knock the diamond dog to the earth. But, it chose that exact moment to make a spectacular leap itself. The result was that she was hurled to the earth with an unceremonious thud. "Urgh! Why you—"
She stopped short, surprised to see the beast smirking back at her. What's he so smug about? Then, cold realization slipped over her. She glanced down at her hooves just in time to see the earth give way underneath her.
"Not another one!" Stalactite moaned, rubbing a grimy hoof through his sorrel mane. Sure enough, a collection of broken stalactites and stalagmites lay on the cave floor. Great, just great. It had been the third stand he had come across in the past hour. Judging from the paw prints on the dirt floor, Diamond Dogs were to blame. "Those careless beasts! They've destroyed centuries of history in one fell swoop!"
An echo followed his words, and stalactite realized he had shouted. Volume control had never been his strong suit. Clearing his throat, he pulled out a notebook from the pocket of his caving suit. "Okay. So that makes three stands." He began to scribble in the notebook, pausing occasionally to take a measurement with his survey stick. It was depressing work for a cave researcher. Nothing brought him joy like finding a new stand of stalactites and stalagmites.
He had been told by the university that this region of Equestria was known for its spectacular cave systems. But, at the rate he was going, there might not be anything left to research. Caves were delicate, and even the slightest disturbance could upset the balance. That was one of the reasons he wore his mining suit. Another was keeping the majority of his coat clean, but that was a matter of personal preference and economic sense. Soap was expensive, and difficult to make.
"There! All done!" He grimaced as another echoed followed his words. A bright flush stretched across his face. Truth be told, he did not have to talk at all as there was nopony to hear him. But, if he was to survive two years studying the vast network of caves by himself, he had to talk. It kept the loneliness away at the very least. Sighing, he set off down the narrow passageway.
Caves were wonderful places. Sometimes they were as wide as a house, and at other places so narrow a mouse would have trouble sneaking through. This one was thankfully the right dimensions to walk through. But, as he continued, the rough, naturally hewn stones became strangely carved. Somepony or something had dug out this portion. Stalactite gulped, trying to hide how nervous he was.
Diamond Dogs were never seen back home. There might be the occasional wayward and confused bat, but one would never expect to run into the depraved versions of domestic dogs so common in this region. From the stories he heard, they were bad news. Still, he had to wonder if he should not talk to them about the caves. Perhaps, being at least semi-intelligent, they could be reasoned with. With that thought in mind, he wandered deeper into their labyrinth.
For a good three hours, he charted hallway after hallway, and chamber after chamber. Upon reaching yet another crude room, he paused to take a long gulp from his canteen. This place is huge! Wouldn't it be my luck that they've all gone? He seriously considered turning back, but stopped himself. No, he would check a few more chambers, and if he found nothing, would turn back.
As he walked down yet another passageway, he noted a small light in the distance. Judging from its flickering quality, it was a torch. Stalactite reached up to his mining helmet, turning off the light. Then he snuck towards the dimly lit chamber beyond. Peering cautiously around the corner, he eyed the room. It was smaller than most, but contained an assortment of crates holding what he could only assume was food. He cringed at the thought of what the beasts ate.
He was about to give up hope of finding anything interesting, when he saw a lilac blur out of the corner of his eye. Whipping his head around, he noted a young mare chained to the wall. Her short white mane was frayed, and, judging from the scrapes over her body, she had been beat around. Stalactite attempted his best whisper, which was probably closer to conversation tone. "You alone?"
The mare's amber eyes jerked in his direction. Seeing his nervous expression, she rolled her eyes, "Duh. Does it look like there's any diamond dogs around?"
"No, guess not." Stalactite strode over to her, still glancing around the room. It was not as though he did not trust her, but he preferred to air on the side of caution. Now that he was beside her, he could see that she was not really hurt. Just annoyed. He did not blame her. It could not be comfortable handing from the wall by one's front hooves. "Hang on, I'll get you down."
She sniggered as he began to pick the lock with some of his tools. "Why are you wearing that stupid outfit?"
Stalactite flushed a little. Of course his caving suit looked beyond ridiculous, but it served a useful purpose. He mumbled, slurring the words together, "Itsmycavingsuit."
"You mumbled." Her matter of fact tone reflected her less than impressed attitude. The mare's muzzle scrunched up as he leaned stood closer to work the locks. "Celestia, you stink."
His tail twitched irritably. What was her problem? He was trying to help. Did she want to be trapped? Though he wanted to shout at her for being ungrateful, he could not bring himself to do it. He had been in the caves for over two days. She more than likely had a valid point. "Sorry."
"It's fine." She eyed the rest of his progress in silence. When the cuffs were unlocked, she slid down the wall with a thud.
Ooops. I meant to catch her. "You okay?"
"Yeah. I think." She rubbed her rump, and stood slowly. "Thanks for that."
"Sure." Now that the mare was at eye level, he could take in her appearance. Though at first glance, she looked small and weak, that was far from the case. Every ounce of her seemed to be made of muscle. It was a wonder she did not simply break the chains with brute force. Maybe they had some kind of anti-earth pony magic. "Who are you?" The words tumbled out before he could stop himself. Unfortunately, they came out as a shout.
She cringed, glancing nervously around the room. "Keep your voice down. Do you want to get caught?"
"No." He grimaced, self-consciously hiding the flesh tone device in his ear with a hoof. Once again, he tried for a normal conversation tone. "My name's Stalactite."
"Gesundheit."
He clasped a hoof to his muddy forehead, "No, no. Sta-lac-tite."
Realization seemed to dawn on her face. "Oh. Mine's Limestone. Limestone Pie."
Limestone? He glanced around at the limestone walls of the chamber. Ironic. "So, you live here?" His hoof pointed to the ceiling, implying the land above.
"Yeah. We farm rocks." Limestone's eyes darted nervously around the room once more. "You know the way out of here?"
Stalactite shrugged. Though the labyrinth was extensive, it, unlike the caves, followed a pattern. "Shouldn't be too hard. I've already mapped out a good chunk."
"Great." She bowed, nodding to the passageway beyond. "Lead the way, dork."
Dork? Pot calling the kettle black aren't we? Sighing heavily, he lit the light on his helmet once more and made his way into the unknown.
This was by far the most embarrassing situation Limestone had ever been in. Not only had she been captured by lousy diamond dogs, but she was now relying on some freak with a oneseie to get her out of this mess. To compound the issue, her saddlebag was missing and with it all the stones she collected. What diamond dogs wanted with junk stones was a mystery to her. Perhaps they were too stupid to tell the difference.
She looked ahead of her, eyeing the stranger appraisingly. His cream coat was so splattered with mud it looked almost brown. To add to his grungy appearance, it seemed as though he had not washed his tail in weeks and his entire body gave off a noxious concoction of sweat, mud, and stale hay jerky. Definitely not the kind of stallion a mare wants to be stuck with. Marble would have referred to him as a "last resort." For once she had to agree. "So, Stalactite?"
He did not answer, staring straight ahead. Snorting in frustration, she head-butted him in the side. "Hey! I'm talking to you."
"What?" His pale blue eyes flashed with a mixture of fear and surprise. "Is it the Diamond Dogs?"
Limestone wanted to slap him. "Get a grip! Diamond Dogs are wimps. Give them a good kick and they'll scatter like sheep."
"Really?" The news apparently came as a great relief to the stallion. He smiled, letting out a big breath. "That's great. I kept hearing all these horrible stories about them."
"And you believed them?"
Stalactite shrugged, "Well, yeah. Why wouldn't I?"
Limestone could not suppress her laughter. "You're not from around here, are you?"
"No."
Her smile faded as she realized who he must be. Strangers did not come to live in Nickerlite very often. This must be the pony living in the mountains. That means . . . Her stomach lurched. Nopony would be out in these tunnels for the fun of it. Maybe he was some kind of gem thief or perhaps he was sabotaging their farm. She tried to keep her voice as level as possible, "So, what are you doing—"
"Oh my Celestia!"
Limestone came close to knocking her head against the roof of the passageway. "What?" Her eyes darted frantically around them, expecting to see a pack of dogs. All she could see was the stallion looking up at the ceiling. His headlamp illuminated what looked to be hundreds of tiny stalactites, being fueled by a steady drip of water. She raised an eyebrow, "What? They're just rock puss."
The stallion let out a girly gasp, looking as though she had let out a string of curse words. "They're fragile specimens of nature that deserve our respect!" He drew a long and thin measuring stick out of his saddlebags. At first she was afraid he would attack her with it. Instead, he raised it carefully to the ceiling, compressing it until it was the height of the stalactites. Lowering the stick, he noted the measurement and scrawled it hastily down in a notebook. He turned to her, eyes sparkling with excitement. "Would you believe there's already stalactites in these tunnels? I wonder how old they are!"
Limestone grimaced as the stallion's voice boomed across the walls of the passageway. She stamped a hoof against the dirt floor. "Can you ever talk without shouting?"
The stallion looked extremely hurt, lowering his head submissively. "SorryIcan'thearwell."
She snorted in frustration. There he goes mumbling again. Honestly, is he stupid? Though, from his expression, he was at least remorseful. "It's okay, just don't do it again. Lead the way."
He nodded, walking forward once more. Limestone followed along, trying to stopper the urge to cry out in frustration. "Why were you measuring them?" Once again, he did not respond. She snorted, kicking him in the shin. "Why were you measuring them?"
"Oh," A smile flickered across his face. "It's my job. I'm out here to research the local caves."
"So that's why you're living in the mountains!" She flushed, realizing that she had shouted too.
Stalactite turned his head to her, nearly blinding her with the headlamp. "How'd you know that?"
"Ouch. Point that away." She waited until he swung back around before answering. "Dad told me. He heard somepony was living in the mountains and to be careful." Limestone wanted to kick herself for adding that extra bit in.
There was a moment of silence. Then, he spoke in a soft voice, "Iwouldn'thurtanypony."
"You've got to stop mumbling, I can't hear anything you're—" She stopped short when Stalactite turned off his helmet. "What's wrong?"
"Light up ahead. Maybe the dogs?"
"Probably. But we can take them." Add to the fact that there was no way they were turning around in the claustrophobic tunnel.
Stalactite nodded, walking slowly forward. As they approached, the light grew brighter and brighter. When they finally reached the end and stepped out into the chamber beyond, the light was near blinding. Hundreds of gems festooned the walls of the cavern, sending up a magical glow. There, huddled in the center of the room were five muscular Diamond Dogs. Limestone felt her stomach drop. "Ooops."
The tallest dog, donned in a moldering plaid jacket stood. His yellow eyes gleamed predatorily back at her. "Rock farmer she pony. Make Og run. Bad."
Though crude, Limestone got the gist of his little speech. "So what? You're on our property! Get lost!" Probably not the best choice of words, but she was fed up with the whole situation.
Stalactite glanced nervously at the now rising pack of dogs. He drew out his survey stick, waving it in front of him. "Get back! I'm armed!"
Limestone snorted, rolling her eyes. My hero. Instinctively, she positioned herself to lunge at the one in plaid. "Stalactite, when I jump, you keep them off my tail."
His eyes met hers for a second before returning his gaze to the dogs. "Uh, okay."
"Go!" With all the spring she could muster, Limestone toppled the leader to the ground. The creature's jaws snapped around her hoof. Wincing, she kicked him in the face with her other front hoof. Before she had time to react, another Diamond Dog started pulling at her haunches. "Stalactite! Do your job!"
"Sorry! I'm a little busy!" A quick glance towards his direction showed the stallion was trying to buck off a dog while the other two attempted to hold him down.
Great. Just great. A well placed kick dislodged the lackey from her legs. Thinking fast, Limestone bared her teeth and clamped down on the leader's ear. An earsplitting howl echoed around the chamber. The Diamond Dog gave a satisfying wriggle of pain even after she released him. He continued to howl in agony as Limestone fought off the now vengeful lackey.
To her annoyance, two of Stalactite's dogs began to howl as well. The next instant an earsplitting scream of agony came from Stalactite. When Limestone managed to look over, she saw the stallion writhing in pain on the ground. The dogs around him had back off in confusion. Apparently whatever it was, they had not caused it.
Limestone could not spare a longer look as her own opponents had regrouped for a second attack. This time she was ready, and gave a tremendous kick to the leader right in the chest. The placement could not have been more perfect as he stumbled back into his own lackey. A few kicks later, they were lying unconscious on the floor. She turned back to Stalactite only to find that his own attackers were unconscious as well. "Are you okay?"
Instead of responding, the stallion stared at the ground huffing in exhaustion. A few cuts on his flank were bleeding, but he looked otherwise unharmed. Limestone cantered over to him, "Stalactite! HEY! What's wrong?"
He looked up as though just seeing her for the first time. "Iwostemieyieeringeidez." Unlike his normal mumbling sentences, this one did not even come close to making sense. The stallion continued to look for whatever it was on the floor.
Sighing, Limestone joined the search. Using her practiced eye, she noted two unfamiliar objects lying in the dirt. She scooped them up, examining them closely. They were small, mechanical devices she had never seen before. What in Equestria? She turned back to Stalactite, "HEY! THIS IT?"
A look of immense relief washed over his dirt strewn face. He cantered over to her, eagerly taking the objects from her. Carefully, he placed one in each of his ears, fidgeting with them until they made a high pitched whine. After they had gone silent, he turned back to her. "Thanks. I can't hear without them."
"What?" Limestone felt her stomach sink. How could she have missed it? "You're deaf!"
"Yeah, well, not all the way. But pretty close. These," He pointed to his ears, "help clear things up. You try talking when you can't hear sometime. It's not easy."
"Oh." Limestone felt incredibly guilty. All this time she had been scolding him for not paying attention or mumbling when he could not help it. She continued, making sure to speak loud enough he could hear. "Sorry about earlier. I didn't realize . . ."
He waved it away with a hoof. "It's okay. I'm used to it."
Limestone nodded, glancing around the chamber for the first time. Looking up, she could see that the light was not entirely unnatural. "There's some daylight over there. A way out?"
"We can take a look." Stalactite followed her over to the light.
It was a circular room with an open ceiling. Up above, they could see a blanket of clouds. Unfortunately, there was absolutely no way a pony could climb up the steep sides. A Diamond Dog maybe, but not a pony. Limestone moaned, rubbing a hoof through her mane. "Great! Now we're stuck here!"
Stalactite laughed. It was the first time she had heard him laugh, and she had to admit it was soothing. Not too high, not too low, but just that perfect middle tone that instantly relaxes a pony. "It's fine." Throwing down his saddlebags, the stallion began to unzip his ludicrous outfit.
Limestone gaped at him in stunned disbelief. There, folded neatly against his sweaty sides was a pair of wings. "You're a pegasus? Why in Equestria were you hiding that?"
"I didn't mean to." Stalactite shrugged, starting to fold the mining suit and shove it into his saddlebags. "Mining suits for pegasi are expensive, and I can't waste time picking mud out of my feathers. Plus it keeps oils off of the stalactites."
"You . . . you're so weird!" It was a lame come back, but she really could not think of anything better to say. Her hoof gestured to his wings. "What's a pegasus doing crawling around underground for?"
"Uh, it's my job." He slung the saddlebags over his back and motioned her closer. "And, for your information, I like crawling around in the caves. It's fun!"
Limestone raised an eyebrow. Crawling in caves was far from her idea of fun. If she never had to spend another day underground, that would be just fine with her. Before she knew what was going on, she felt Stalactite's hoof wrap around her chest. "Hey!"
"Going up." He stretched his wings, ascending slowly upward.
Limestone found herself clutching Stalactite back. As an earth pony, she never had flown in her life. To have her hooves dangling helplessly at a potentially fatal height was enough to set her cringing. Still, there was something to be said about it. She almost found herself grinning as they left the hole and flew a little ways off before he set her carefully down.
Stalactite landed next to her, sighing in relief. "Whew, glad that worked!"
Limestone's ears perked up at that. "What do you mean?"
"Well . . ." He averted her gaze, looking around at the farm. "I don't fly a lot since I work in the caves. My wings are pretty weak." His voice lowered, "Could'vedroppedyou."
This time she understood his mumbling. "You could have dropped me!"
"Yeah. But I didn't. So it's all good, right?"
"I . . . you . . . argh!" There were a multitude of clever comebacks, but she was drawing a blank. "Fine. Thanks for getting me out safe, Stalactite."
"Sure." He looked around in wonder. "Wow! That's a lot of rocks!"
Limestone snorted a laugh. "It's a rock farm. What do you expect?"
"Rocks." Stalactite removed the mining helmet, rubbing a hoof through his shock of auburn hair. "Well, that was quite the adventure eh, Limestone?"
"You said it. I—" Limestone meant to say more, but could only stare at the stallion. Now that he was in the relative light of the rock farm, she noticed his features for the first time. Originally, she assumed he was the scrawny type. But now that the caving suit was off, she could see ripples of muscle under his coat. The coat itself was in fact not muddy but naturally flecked with the same red color that made up his mane and tail.
"What?" Stalactite looked nervously at her. "Yeah, I know I need a bath."
"No, it's just . . . I've never seen a coat like yours before."
"Really?" Stalactite shrugged, looking down at his hooves. "Guess it's kind of unusual."
Limestone nodded, then began to walk towards the farm house. After their little trek, she had a date with the bathtub. To her surprise, Stalactite followed. "What?"
"I," He bit his lip, pawing at the dirt, "I don't know how to get back."
"Oh." Limestone looked back towards the foothills of the mountains. "You live there, right?"
Stalactite nodded, grimacing a bit. "How far are we from there?"
"About six miles."
"Urgh!" He sighed, donning his helmet and saddlebags. "Guess I'll head out then."
Limestone watched him stretch his wings. Just as he was about to take off, she cantered over to him. "Hang on. I've got a question for you."
"Yeah?"
Limestone suddenly felt nervous, though she had no idea why. Stupid really. But, she would go for it anyway. "Can you clean up?"
"Huh?"
"I mean, can you get yourself presentable?" Her hoof gestured to his grimy coat, "Maybe take a bath, get rid of your hay jerky cologne?"
Stalactite looked as though he wanted to be offended, but seemed to shrug it off. "Duh. Do you think I walk around town like this?"
Limestone was not about to mention that that was exactly what she had imagined. "No."
He rolled his eyes, apparently not buying her fib. "Sure I can clean up. Why?"
The words tumbled out in a rush. "Wouldyougotothedancewithme?"
"What? You'll have to speak up. My ears."
"Sorry." Limestone could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. "Would you like to go to the Nickerlite dance with me next Friday?"
"Really?" Limestone felt her heart racing at the thought that he might say no. But, when she glanced up at Stalactite, he was grinning brightly. "Yes! I'd love to! That sounds like so much fun."
"Awesome. We're going over at six. You can meet us at the house." Limestone winked, flicking her tail as she turned back towards the house. Just like I said, Marble. When I want a date, I'll get one myself.
Stalactite ached all over. It had been a longer flight than he had planned on. Despite having been in the woods for a good two weeks already, he still managed to get lost on the way home. After three hours of searching, he finally found the aging cabin that served as his base of operations. The university had arranged for his stay there, and unfortunately, he had no say in the matter.
Built out of sturdy logs and covered in moss, the cabin looked like it might return to the forest any day. Rays from the setting sun cast the clearing in a red orange glow. Stalactite was grateful that the clouds did not congregate over the foothills like they did on Limestone's rock farm. That would have been incredibly depressing. Idly he wondered what it must be like growing up on a place that never really saw sunshine. Then again, he did not have to stretch his imagination too far for that. The Cumberland Mountains were far from a bright place to grow up.
Most ponies Stalactite knew would have considered his job a fate worse than death. But he was not so ungrateful. Though he might be lonely, and overworked, he was free. Free to do what he loved the most and to do it without having to worry about being judged. And, for the first time in his life, he had a date. Certainly she was not the most ladylike pony, but she possessed a kind of spunk Stalactite had to admire. No, he would be all right, maybe even happy here. All he had to do was give these caves and these ponies a chance. And, investing in some more soap could not hurt either.
Whew! And there it is, a complete rewrite of my original story. I was looking over the original the other day and noticed that it simply did not represent my current writing skills. So I decided to rewrite it, and I must say I'm happy with the result! Stalactite's my favorite OC I've made so far, and it's always fun to write him with Limestone.
Once again, inspiration came in part from Sketch a Holic's amazing story, The Rock Farmer's Daughters and my family's inherited hearing problems. I wanted to dive a little deeper into Limestone's character and sort of explain some questions people had with her attitude interacting with Marble in What Changes May Come. Hope I managed to do that.
The story occurs in the same universe as What Changes May Come.
In case you were curious what Stalactite looks like, here's a rough sketch I commissioned from blobbydoesart. I didn't put his cutie mark in, but it's a lit mining helmet and compass. His coat color is essentially fleabitten.
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Nice story. I liked it. I hope we hear more about them in a possible sequel. Great job.
"Marble had the gull to suggest..."
Should be "gall to suggest".
And let me be another saying that I'd love to see more of this.
5362331 Thanks for catching that. Self editing isn't always a good thing.
Glad you liked it, and I hope to write more with this couple. Stalactite's by far my favorite OC I've come up with.
What a cute read! I love the "against the norm" personalities of the two, without either of them being overbearing or stereotypically non-stereotypical.
Even though I am not much of a tomboy myself, I could still relate to Limestone and her feelings, so (not that anyone is suggesting otherwise, of course) clearly she's "not just a tomboy" but well-rounded and well-captured in just the first paragraph after the little prologue. Oh, siblings and the emotional torment we give one another! Of course, I was the tormentor to my younger sister, but I like to pretend I could appreciate what it was like to be teased by me.
Stalactite is also super endearing. Passion for one's work to the extent that it's more leisure than effort is something we can all hope to (and hopefully) attain. His little fanboy moment - albeit more of a fan girl moment in expression! - is totally adorable and made me want to pinch his widdle cheeks. I also enjoyed his believable obliviousness to the look Limestone gave him when she got a good look at him in the sun. Rrowr!
However, all of that is only a honorable mention to the star of this story... And the winner for best line ever goes to:
All in all... Sequel, y/y?
5371912 Thanks so much for the comment and for favoriting my little short! Super excited to hear from you.
I'm so glad I got Limestone's character right. Characterization always tricky for me, so I'm glad I managed to make her well rounded.
Stalactite's such a nerd. But he's my loveable nerd. I thought he was just the type to fan boy over his "babies." By far my favorite OC I've made.
That line with Limestone was my favorite to write. I thought about how she'd view her treasure hunt and came up with that.
And yes, there will be sequels. He's just too fun not to write about. I've got a few cute scenes lined up with him and Limestone I want to write down. Someday for sure.
I believe the word you want is 'beast'
Cute, I really liked it when Limestone mumbled her invitation to the dance after all her irritation of Stalactite's mumbling.
Good Job.
5371976 first off, I love this one shot and wish for more. You have a way of presenting characters in a unique fashion. my only problem with the story is, that I didn't get enough of the relationship with the main characters.
5585537 Hmmm. Yeah, I was wondering about that myself. It feels like I was shortchanging the interaction a bit since I had to build up the characters individually so much. I hope to remedy that eventually with a long running Stalactite fic. This was sort of a "dry run" for the more involved story to come. It's tricky for me to write a deaf character, so I'm going to have to do more research before I'm comfortable writing his character interactions. I appreciate the heads up, I wouldn't have really keyed in on it otherwise. Thanks for reading and commenting!
5585557 you're welcome, and a bit of a advice for you. Try putting yourself into the role of your character, try seeing and feeling from their world. Or let it come naturally to you, never force that writing out. And one last thing, never be afraid to ask for advice.
5585581 Good advice. I put myself into my character's shoes on a regular basis with my stories, but I suppose I need to crawl into those shoes for this one!
I've never shied away from asking folks either. Thanks! I'll keep that in mind for next time. 
5585608 then I'll be in touch.
I like it!
Hmmm... a sort of reversal of 'the nerdy girl takes off her glasses and is suddenly incredibly hot.' An interesting premise by itself. It felt a little... short to me though. As I understand this is part of a larger work? Was there an earlier story? Limestone has a very specific characterization which you follow quite well but I find the sudden change in heart a bit... sudden. I'm not sure if it's that she's just shallow or has a genuine change in heart. Unfortunatley your picture link seems to be broken. Kudos to you for capturing well a character that both has a legitimate disability, but is not purely defined by that disability. I find the work to stand alone on that merit alone. Unfortunately the ship still confuses me slightly. Then again I'm the wrong gender to be a tomboy. Regardless, have an upvote for Stalactite's character. I still must admit that the fight scene is a touch... confusing... I'm still not sure how it ended, just that it did really. Anyways, I'm glad that you enjoyed writing it and hope that you will continue to improve your writing. Do you have other stories featuring Stalactite?
6780283 Yeah, this was something of an experimental story I wrote a long ways back. Thanks for pointing out the issues, they give me something to improve upon!
Yes, I do have another story with Stalactite. It's my story Cogitation. You can find it in my story list. The story itself is my experiment writing in-dialect and delves into his character some more.
That was a nice, cute little one-shot; though I have to ask: did Stalactite ever fly back down into the cave to get his suit and bags? It seems to be implied that he left those behind, along with his hard-earned measurements, as they're not mentioned at all after he frees his wings.