53w, 2dSecond Person Stories
Authors note: do not try and make sense of this, just imagine exactly what the story says.
Mark lounged on the couch at sugar cube corner, the walls were decorated in colorful streamers and the entire room seemed to be steeped in an atmosphere of serenity. Rarity sat at a table with Fluttershy sipping the finest red wine while Applejack and rainbow dash busied themselves with a drinking contest. Mark had to admit this was a pretty sweet party.
It didn't last long.
"Mark!" screamed Twilight angrily, with a snarl on her face, "look at what you did" she pointed to an area on the floor covered in liquid chocolate. The clouds were leaking everywhere, Pinkie proceeded to roll around in the sticky semi-coagulated mess. *Sigh* guess he'd have to clean it up. picking up the mop he trudged unenthusiastic over to the mess and started moping it up, only to realize it now covered the entire floor, not one bit was left visible due to the coating of chocolate.
Pinkie giggled in the background "What an awesome party!"
"NO IT'S NOT PINKIE, MARKS MADE A MESS, AGAIN" screamed twilight.
Rainbow Dash sauntered over carrying a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels, "sup" she stated coolly.
"Holy shit you ponies have Jack Daniel, I take it back ponies are awesome" Mark said in amazement. Seriously, Jack Daniels.
"f-yeah, what you- they're here".
"Wha-" Mark was interrupted as a horde of zombie ponies rudely burst through the windows and doors. "OH FUCK THAT SHIT" mark overturned the couch and hid underneath. From his vantage point he could see Rarity being devoured, the horde overwhelmed her and brought her to her knee's, clawing at her face and leaving long scratches.
The horde began tearing lumps of flesh from her torso and limbs as Rarity screamed in absolute horror and agony. Her Rib-cage was bashed in and then torn outwards, she coughed up several globs of blood and viscera as teeth sank into her lungs and chest cavity, snapping her ribs with an audible SNAP.
*BANG* A well placed round from a Winchester penetrated right between the eye's of one unlucky zombie. "git outta my town yer undead varmints" demanded applejack as she began reloading her shotgun. Mark just sat in the corner sipping his drink, 'I'm sure they got it under control', no he should really help actually. Alright fine he'd go get his rife. He pulled out a baseball bat, that works too.
Pinkie and Fluttershy had been eaten. "THIS IS REALLY BAD" screamed Twilight as she glared angrily at Mark, as if this was his fault. 'what the hell Twilight'. The undead were closing in, shot after shot rained down upon them but for every zombie to fall another two would take it's place. "SHIT! I'm outta ammo" cried Applejack, who was covered in bites and scratches from the previous battle.
Luna burst into the room dual wielding two Tombstone shotguns suspended in mid air by her magical aurora, "THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED" she bellowed as she began blasting away, but alas the shear number of undead crammed into the alleyway was simply too much and bit by bit the horde started gaining ground, climbing over the deanimated to reach their quarry.
"We're not gonna make it", Applejack had given up and solemnly awaited her fate, sitting on the ground and closing her eye's, a lone tear traveling down her cheek.
"Not if I have anything to say about it" Luna steped forward boldly, "EVERYONE GET BEHIND ME" she bellowed in the royal Canterlot voice.
The horde surged forward yet Luna stood firm against the impending onslaught. she parted her lips.
"FUS RO DAH!" a wall of pure energy burst from her jaw and decimated the zombie horde, bit's of brick scraped off the wall due to the shear power contained by the Thum, the first zombie to be hit simply vaporized into a red myst, such was the skill Luna displayed in the ancient language of dragons. They had survived.
But all was not well, as Celestia came forward, dressed in heavy paladin armor, it's golden glow shinning brilliantly from the aurora cast from her horn. Luna joined her side dressed in leather armor and a horned dovahkiin helmet. "WE HAVE COME TO PUT AN END TO YOUR EVIL MARK!"
Mark looked down at them from his pointed ebony throne, they dared confront him in his own dark citadel? He laughed darkly "Fools, so what if you managed to get past my army of rabid necromorphs, you are no match for my power" He stood and unsheathed his crimson lightsaber, standing to face the sister in glorious combat. Then he remembered he couldn't fight and so just teleported an intermediate amount of air into Luna's skull cavity, she stood still for a second before her eye's and nose began to bleed, when she collapsed. Dead.
"Luna nooooooo!" gasped Celestia in horror, while she was grieving Mark finished her off my shooting her in the back with a magnum.
"HA-ha-hahahahaha!" Mark laughed, he'd done it, Equestia had fallen and his new tyrannical reign could begin, the rivers would run red with pony- *BZZt* 'no' turning in horror he saw what he had feared most, the fly. That same fly he killed had come back to avenge it's death, throwing it's lightsaber, the fly used the force to guide it's weapon directly at Mark, cutting him in half. As Mark continued bleeding out, falling to his death down the death stars firing chamber, he though back to all the countless atrocities he'd brought about in his wake. His only regret was dying.
*Gasp* Mark awoke suddenly, taking deep breaths. His face was obscured by a quilt cover, he was lying on a comfortable bed in the middle of some dirty backstreet alleyway, complete with pillow and bedside orange juice, not bad for a hobo. "Holy shit... that was the single greatest dream I have ever had". Of course there were a few disturbing things about that dream, for one he was a complete monster by the end of it. But his guilt quickly dissipated when he realized he didn't do any of those things.
Sitting up on the bed, he gazed around at the blackened rundown brickwork surrounding the dead end he was camping out it, it looked filthy. Of course Mark didn't care in the slightest, he had his nice warm bed, his pillows and quilt.Thinking back he'd gone to sleep hours ago after getting Thoroughly fed up with the way ponies were treating him.
They'd given him a wide birth and constantly glanced in his direction muttering and talking about him behind his back, often he'd pass some ponies who happened to be in the same crowd from his earlier outburst. They'd sneer and shoot him dirty looks, no doubt they'd go round telling all the other ponies and then the entire town would know. He'd imagine gossip would spread like wildfire in this place. Heck some of the posher ponies would simply look down on him, casually referring to him as an 'it' and making offensive comments as if he couldn't understand them. 'Damn Canterlot snobs'.
Eventually he'd just gotten fed up with that bullshit and wandered into some backstreet alleyway to escape their ignorance. He'd quickly gotten bored, snapped up a bed and some food and sat down to think about what he'd do next. Of course he'd quickly fallen asleep and then had that amazing dream, 'But what the fuck was with the ending, seriously a fly!?' Na, he'd better not dwell on it.
Getting up he sauntered through the dark passage until he emerged into ponyville proper, the setting sun's glare was obscuring his veiw and- oh shit he was late for that party! Panic gripped his mind, "Fuck... if I'm not there then I've blown my only chance to turn things around, I'll have made a horrible impression and then I'll be well fucked". Judging from the position of the sun, he'd say it was around 7ish, the party started at 6:30. 'Well shit'
"He sure is takin his sweet time, ain't he" stated Applejack bemused, she'd wanted to meet this weird creature that by all accounts was a complete moron.
"Sure is" replied Rainbow Dash. "Maybe he's scared in case I whoop his flank again"
"Regardless it is quite rude to show up late to a party in one's honor" added rarity daintily sipping punch. They'd all arrived half an hour ago, Applejack and Rainbow dash sat at the table playing cards, Fluttershy made small talk with twilight who was reading (she didn't see why she'd have to fall behind for the convenience of some stupid house-wrecking lizard) and Pinkie Pie sat looking somewhat disappointed.
"Do you think he didn't want to come?" she asked not quite unhappy, but certainty not enthusiastic either.
Dash looked up from her cards "Oh he'd had better, cause if he bailed I'll clobber him". Some party it had turned out to be so far, Pinkie didn't want to start until the guest of honor had arrived, much to the ire of Twilight who both hated Mark and therefore found sitting around doing nothing a gratuitous waste of time.
Rarety, bored with the lack of festivities decided to make small talk, she'd heard rumors that Twilight had kicked the lizard out. "So Twilight dear, do tell us about what that dragon has been up to, I heard that he was in your library earlier on".
"ugh, don't get me started. First he wakes me up in the middle of the night, then I come down to find he'd trashed the library!"
"Not to mention the fact that he came into town wasted, and I had to drag his sorry flank back to the library in the first place!" Added Dash.
Rarity's eyes lit up upon hearing such juicy gossip, "Oh, do tell Twilight"
"Ok well I come down the stairs after hearing Celestia knows what! some kind of obnoxiously loud screeching, I come down to fine him lying on the floor next to a mattress, there was a gigantic scorch mark stretching half-way across the floor and a spilled glass in the corner! And that's just the beginning! Later on he woke me up AGAIN by causing irreparable damage to a priceless book, 'The Elements Of Harmony: A Reference Guide' to be exact, that book was over 300 years old and protected by countless enchantments! and he goes and smacks it against the ceiling! "
Rarity gasped "Oh my" she whispered.
"AND do you know why he did this? He did it because a fly was buzzing around and he'd decided to kill the poor thing"
Fluttershy let out an appalled squeak, having lost all potential respect for the creature. 'That monster' she thought.
Meanwhile Rarity was sitting forward fully interested in the conversation, and somewhat repulsed by the creatures unacceptable behavior, "Well, he sounds like an absolute brute, I shall have positively nothing to do with him, least he try and squash me".
Twilight interjected "don't get me wrong, he's not dangerous or anything, just immensely stupid and irresponsible and I'm not sure but there's definitely something off about him, so I'll be keeping an eye out for any suspicious activity"
"Tha's all well'an true twi, but what I want to know is why hasn't he turned up to this here party yet"
"I'm not sur-" replied Twilight but was quickly interrupted by Dash.
"Just a thought Pinkie, but er, did you make sure he actually knows where sugar-cube corner is?"
Pinkie jumped up excited "OH YEA, I totally forgot!" she began hopping around gleefully, turns out Mark hadn't left, he just didn't know the way. "You know it's strange because I'm actually glad I never told him because now I know he does actually want to come and-"
Rainbow Dash Sighed, "I'll go get him..."
He was lost, completely and utterly lost. Mark had been wandering around ponyville at random for the almost half an hour now, meaning he'd probably missed the party, meaning he was basically screwed. 'Well this sucks'. How'd he manage not to find Sugar-cube corner, it was made to look like confectioneries for goodness sake!
He was at this point just choicing directions at random, and then walking in them with a scowl on his miserable face, the cause of his misery was once again ponies, there seemed to be a 6 meter exclusion zone around him in which nopony dared to tread, ponies coming directly towards him ether changed direction or walked around the zone, much to his ire. ' OK so what if I'm a freak, no need for that!'.
The landscape was currently painted orange by the sun's fading light, however the beautiful scenery was marred by the fact that he'd missed the party, and his chance at acceptance. Thankfully the streets were becoming less populated, as ponies began retiring to there houses for the night. This pleased Mark and his rapidly increasing antisocial outlook.
Rows of houses passed him by, their bright coloring masked by the orange of the setting sun, that's when he noticed it, between the gaps between two thatched houses was the glorious city of Canterlot, but that's not what peaked his interests, what did peak his interests was the luminescent magical dome that surrounded it, the pink light it emitted made the surrounding mountains seemingly glow with pink light, it was quite the sight to behold.
'But why is the shield still up? the royal wedding already happened' was there still a threat of changelings? OR, thought Mark, "Perhaps the wedding hasn't happened yet...". A smirk appeared upon his face, if this was the case then this was a fantastic opportunity, if he saved the day then he'd be hailed a hero, and never have to worry about fitting in again. That and he'd be in good with the princesses. Brilliant.
But whether or not that was the case he didn't know just yet. He'd probably find out if he ever got to this party.
"Hey!" shouted Dash as she descended from above, "We've all been waiting for you!". She'd seen the stupid creature blithering around on the wrong side of town going the completely wrong direction.
"Ah...oh hey... sorry bout that I couldn't find my way there".
"OK whatever, common lets go" she took of flying. MArk just stared at her, 'so what am I ment to follow on foot or...what?'
Rainbow Dash eventually came back, "HEY, what's the holdup, lets get moving". Oh she wanted him to fly.
Rainbow Dash looked exasperated, "You CAN'T fly?!?, but you have wings right there!"
"yea but look at them, you can't expect something like these to work, look how mismatched they are!" he replied.
"Shame..." OK that was pretty cold.
"HEY, my wings don't work, that's nothing to laugh at"
Dash felt a tang of guilt, "OK look sorry, can we just get going, you're late enough as it is".
The journey back to the party was taken in silence, Mark often tried lighting up a conversation but they never went anywhere due to neither party having any interest in what said conversation was about. So the trip was spent mostly in silence. He did get her name in any case, just so it wouldn't be suspicious if he already knew.
They were almost at sugar-cube corner now. "so... Dash, does this party have any booze?" he asked. It managed to pipe Dashes interests "Man I wish, most ponies in this town don't drink, so, not really, although I wish they sometimes did" she replied solemnly towards the end.
"I could make some booze?" he stated as if a question, to which Dash replied with a laugh.
"HA, and how, exactly, are you gonna do that?" she asked disbelievingly.
"Well first of all, what kind of drink do you want, vodka, whiskey, wine?"
"how bout a cider, those are all pretty strong, but what's the point when-" She was cut of as Mark snapped his fingers and out of nowhere appeared a mug of alcoholic cider. Strongbow to be exact, it was his favorite brand of cider.
Her eye's were wide in absolute amazement, when was the last time she'd had a cider, nopony had ANY idea how hard it was to get a good drink in this town. Her amazement lasted till the drink fell out of mid air and promptly spilled across the ground.
"OH for fucks sake!" Mark swore, "WHY does that keep on happening to me"
Dash looked at him, completely unaffected by his language, "How'd you do that!" she asked in wonder, her pupils fully dilated.
"Just can, I'm cool like that" he snapped his fingers again and this time another mug appeared on the floor, Dash quickly snatched it and drank it down, sighing in relief afterwards.
"Oh thank Celestia, It's been too long since I'd gotten bucked up"
Mark just stared mouth agape, "....WOW.... are you like, some kind of alcoholic, I mean... holy- wow...." he didn't know what to say to that, a cartoon pastel colored horse just declared her longing to be shitfaced, if his fellow bronies knew this, they'd have a field day.
"what's that supposed to mean?" she questioned with a glare.
"Oh, OH no, nothing, it's just... you don't strike me as an alcoholic" he replied carefully.
"Hey! I am NOT an alcoholic, I just like to occasionally get drunk, is that too much for a girl to ask?"
He held his arms up in a passive gesture, "Of course not, forget I said anything".
"Yea...k, hey look we're here!" indeed they had arrived at sugar-cube party, strangely no noise emanated from inside. 'Strange' thought Mark, shouldn't there be a party in here. Dash entered and Mark followed behind. The lights flicked on.
"SURPRISE!!!" screamed Pinkie Pie hoofs up in the air after having activated her party cannon. Mark suspected this, he wasn't surprised in the slightest.