Chapter One: The Pain Behind Her Eyes
The Death of Perfection
Chapter One: The Pain Behind Her Eyes
Soft, assured, and beaming from ear-to-ear, a very delighted voice greeted Twilight’s delicate ears as the warm glow of her magic receded into the star-strewn air about her; it took her a moment to realize that it was none other than Princess Celestia.
“Congratulations, Twilight! I knew you could do it!” Celestia stood in all her glory, gorgeous wings raised wide as if to welcome Twilight to her side. Twilight could hardly understand what was going on, mumbling something to that effect in Celestia’s general direction.
My dear Twilight, came the internal musings of the heavenly alicorn, just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love you any more than I already do, you go and make that adorable face. When your muzzle crinkles like that, your eyebrows furrowed . . . Oh, it’s all I can do not to kiss you!
Celestia, for her part, was smiling proudly at her protégé, gently chiding herself at her slight pause as she contemplated her feelings for Twilight. There would be time enough for that later. Now, it was all-important to Celestia that this evening be absolutely perfect for her sweet Twilight!
The small unicorn before her snuggled into a hug, timidly asking “What did I do?” Eyes fraught with worry, Twilight chewed her lip as she gazed up at her teacher.
Smile widening even more so, Celestia explained that she had done something nopony had ever done before, “. . . something that even a great unicorn like Starswirl the Bearded was not able to do,” Celestia magicked a familiar tome into being beside her as she spoke. “. . . because he did not understand friendship like you do. The lessons you’ve learned here in Ponyville have taught you well. You have proven that you’re ready, Twilight.”
“Ready . . ?” Twilight’s eyes took on a slightly panicked sheen as she tried to finish her sentence. “Ready for what?”
Celestia turned, then, so that she and Twilight could see the many moments magically replaying before them amidst the stars. Walking now, she answered by way of a gorgeous melody. Unbeknownst to her, Twilight was awestruck and dumbfounded all over again as the lovely voice of the Princess cascaded around her, making her heart soar, the world stop. The only thing she saw was Celestia; the stars, the memories, they faded away like morning dew in the grass. The only things that mattered were beautiful, sparkling magenta eyes and her ethereally wispy alto tones.
Twilight sighed, her shoulders visibly shuddering as the great sound escaped her lips. It had been quite a while ago, now, since she’d become an alicorn princess. She was just settling into her new role as the Princess of Friendship, and matters had been made more complicated by the destruction of the Golden Oak Library. Fortunately, that problem had been solved by the magical harmony chest spontaneously creating a new palace for Twilight to live in. Even so . . . It just wasn’t the same.
The small alicorn ran a forehoof through her mane, absentmindedly gazing toward Canterlot as she leaned her body over the edge of her bedroom balcony. Oh, Celestia, she sighed again, thinking of her . . . less-than-amicable feelings towards the brilliant and beautiful elder mare. She certainly didn’t wish her any harm . . . Well, not really. She just wanted to . . . to do terrible things to her. Terribly wonderful?
Oh, Celestia, help me! Why am I thinking such awful things? Yet another sigh punctuated the marked silence. I just . . . Oh, I can’t help but love you! Is that so wrong?
At just that moment, a puff of green dragon flame appeared mere inches from her face, hovering just out of reach over the balcony railing. Flexing the muscle group between her shoulders, she unfurled her wings from her sides and leaped into the air and over the edge, grabbing the floating scroll in her mouth as she flew once, twice, around and up over her crystalline tree-palace. Certainly Twilight could have simply grabbed the letter with her magic, but what fun would that be? She was just finally starting to not be terrible at flying, and she rather enjoyed it now.
Giggling contentedly as she alighted upon the safety of her private chambers, Twilight removed her burden from her teeth by means of her softly-glowing horn, now larger than it had been prior to her ascension, and plopped down onto an extremely lavish beanbag. Tucking her legs underneath her in an undeniably comfortable position, she hummed to herself as she set about unfurling the scroll she’d been sent. It read:
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am so proud of your recent elevation in status, and could not be happier for you. However, I also know that a great deal of responsibility and headache come from the honor of being among the peerage of “Princess”, and I can only imagine how difficult a transition you must now be navigating.
While I wish this letter were all for pleasantry, “catching up”, as they say now, that is not so. I am happy to help you in any way you may need, or simply to “hang out” and be your friend, if you’d like, but I’m afraid that I have something to ask of you.
For a while now, perhaps a few months, my sister has been very, well . . . off, you see. I cannot determine the cause of this, this wrongness, but it is very troubling. It is nearly imperceptible, too. She will not acknowledge that anything is amiss, and seems to be doing fine otherwise.
The simple fact of the matter is, I have been gone from my sister’s life for a millenia. I was once so very close to her, but, now, no matter how much better our relationship is . . . I simply do not know her best anymore. My dear Twilight Sparkle, that distinction belongs to you.
If it is not too much trouble, it would be greatly appreciated if you would come back to Canterlot for a short while. I understand that your life is in Ponyville now, but this is a matter of great importance to me, and, I hope, to you as well.
Please write me back at once, one way or another. Any advice or suggestions, even in lieu of your presence here at the castle, is sorely needed.
Your friend always,
Princess Luna
Twilight’s heart skipped a beat. She was closest to Princess Celestia? Really?! She re-read the note a dozen more times before the reality of the situation sunk in. Finally, an elated grin permeating even her voice, she yelled “Spike!”
Bags under weary eyes, mane a mess of tangles (in spite of its astral qualities), Celestia set about making her morning tea. She rubbed her temples gingerly, worry lines showing, ever so faintly, as her age began to catch up with her. Luna had been acting strangely lately, almost . . . almost giddy, as she always did whenever plotting something. Whatever it was, Celestia didn’t care. She was too old to deal with her foalish younger sister anymore.
Out of nowhere, in the blue light of dawn, no less, a knock came on the door of her private quarters. Celestia scowled, fitting her crown and regalia onto herself earlier than she hoped to that morning. It was always something, wasn’t it?
Straightening her posture and donning her ever-present smile, her bags and wrinkles disappeared as she opened the door. Of course. It was just Luna.
Celestia visibly shrunk, her back hunching into a slouch, eyes narrowing into daggerous slits. “Luna! Why have you come here? Shouldn’t you already be asleep?”
Cheerily, Luna made a show of bopping her elder sister’s nose with a fine svelte hoof. “Sister!” she exclaimed, pointedly ignoring Celestia’s mounting rage. “Good morning! No, today I will stay awake, at least until our niece, Cadance, arrives. Joyous news, cakebutt!” At this Luna stuck out her tongue, eying the offending, plump posterior with such mirth Celestia was near seething. “Due to your excessive age and tiredness, Cadance and I have arranged to give you some much-needed time off. Shining Armor will look after the Crystal Empire on his own for however long we need, while Cadance and I will manage Canterlot here for you!”
At this, Celestia just stared in amazement, her mouth agape in total shock. “You’re joking, right?”
“Sister! Never!” Luna held her hooves to her heart, mock pain gripping her features. “I am simply trying to make you happy. And, for goodness sake,” she smiled wryly, “Those age lines are ever so unbecoming. How can I have any fun when you look like that?!”
And, without further ado, Luna stuck her tongue out at Celestia, scampering out down the corridor after swiftly hitting the alabaster, cake-proportioned rump in front of her. Celestia, too stunned to move, was torn between going into all-out attack mode and exploding after her little sister or buying her a cake of her own. Before she could decide, Luna’s head popped back into view in the far distance.
“Oh, and one more thing,” Luna called. “Twilight Sparkle will be here by noon!” And with that she vanished once again, certainly prancing about on her merry way, more proud of herself than any silly filly Celestia had ever seen.
Cake. Definitely cake. Celestia decided. And maybe just a little bit on the fattening side.
Sitting with her head held on a hoof as she rested an elbow on the edge of one of the garden’s many fountains, Celestia hummed quietly to herself. Certainly, she pondered, she’d hoped Twilight would succeed in igniting the spark inside of her very soul, but it was up to Twilight herself to make that happen. Celestia could only guide her. And . . . And love her along the way . . . Celestia found herself daydreaming about things that had happened, and what might still be.
Oh, to be sure, Celestia had loved Twilight from the very beginning. It had started out innocently; the love of an old mare for an adorable little filly, then the love of a teacher for a dear student, blossoming into the love of friendship . . . Finally, silently, then with all the speed of a falling comet after years and years of sharing her time and knowledge with the dear, sweet filly, love, true love, the kind of love that ponies dreamt about since foalhood, search lifetimes for, even die for if they were so lucky as to find it . . . That kind of love had sprouted roots and taken up residence in Celestia’s sad, old, tired heart.
Celestia chided herself mentally. First, what was all this nonsense about loving Twilight? Certainly it could never be. It was . . . It was wrong, wasn’t it? To love a former student, who she had known, taught, and even lived with since foalhood? But, the more Celestia thought about it, the more unsure she became.
I’ve been around for thousands of years, the astral goddess mused. I haven’t been anything inappropriate to Twilight at all in her youth or even adolescence. She is a fully-matured adult mare now, and she can make her own life decisions. And . . . And it’s not as though it’s likely she has any romantic notions for her tired old teacher. But . . . But, just for a moment . . . Say that she did. Well . . . She’s an alicorn now. She’ll live as long as I will; we are an eternal race.
The thought made Celestia’s heart skip a beat. It was . . . It was very difficult to live this long. Ponies died all around you. No one was ever permanent, or even made a lasting mark. Everything was so terribly transient. That was part of why she’d sent Twilight to live in Ponyville, to avoid the same mistakes she’d made. She became so bitter and engrossed in her own pain, she forgot how meaningful, how worth it friendship was, and, as a result, had none herself. She wanted Twilight to know the joys of friendship even if she didn’t, and to enjoy the company of others who would live as long as she would.
But now . . . Now, Twilight would live as long as she, herself. Celestia felt the final walls around her cold, tired, old heart finally falling down around her, summer sunlight beginning to seep in after a long, frigid winter. Maybe, she cooed to herself, maybe I can find happiness, true happiness, after all.
It wasn’t long after that quiet reverie that Twilight found her way to Celestia in the lovely midsummer gardens. The two greeted each other with warm hugs, smiling and laughing at how Twilight had grown. But, even though her smile betrayed nothing, Celestia’s eyes, so exhausted and, and . . . so sad, and the lines around those lovely magenta orbs, the wrinkles creasing her brow ever so slightly, spoke volumes. Twilight saw all of it, and made a mental note about the hollowness that replaced the soft, tinkling sound of bells in Celestia’s voice. Oh, she would get to the bottom of this, alright. And maybe, just maybe, she could find a thing or two to make Celestia truly happy again.
Or maybe she was just being decidedly gross and just plain wrong.
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Interesting start.
Hm, interested. More Twilestia is always nice, and this is not bad at all. However...
It seems the horrible curse of google docs has struck again, eating large parts of your story.
Argh! I haven't touched the actual story yet, but the phrase, "will depression suck the life right out of old cakebutt" in the description made me shudder muchly. Life should not be sucked out of butts.
4774491
Nothing should be sucked out of butts, let's be honest.
(I'm sure someone will disagree with that ...)
4774272
Oof! Thank you for pointing that out!! I will fix it as soon as possible. xD
I always enjoy a well written Twilestia story so this for a first chapter is getting high marks. I wonder though how much you'll go with the "Im old" cliche' that is so rampant in these stories.
I look forward to when the missing portions are added in. :D
4774272
4774538
I hate that curse. Had it happen to something on each chapter I uploaded. Caught it before posting the chapters, but it was annoying.
4774272
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4775573
Okay! Everything is fixed, now. Sorry about that; I had no idea that Google Docs was so finicky! I was actually trying to make sure I got everything exactly right. Live and learn, I suppose, and thank you all for your help in learning this lesson!
4774627
Wow, thank you! I really appreciate that, you made my whole day! As for the "I'm old" cliché, while I realize that it's thrown around a lot, I do intend for it to make a large impact on my story, though hopefully with more depth and meaning behind it than what I've read so far. I hope that's not a dealbreaker, and I'll try to keep your words in mind and use it sparingly, when it will make the biggest impact.
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Speaking as a mare with a large posterior and a small figure otherwise, I agree completely. Big butts are the sexiest, and anyone that disagrees probably has some issues!
Luna has no room to talk. Theres a reason her nickname is moon butt, and its not her talent.