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The soft light of dusk pours into Fluttershy's window, casting a shimmering ray of pale light over the two napping ponies. A very traumatized Angel Bunny slowly hops down the stairs, having seen things that he wishes he could un-see. Things he knows he can never speak of to anyone; mostly because he can't speak, but also because of his new desire to completely block out the memories.
Fluttershy stretches her shoulders, unable to move her forelegs as they're wrapped around Twilight's already conscious self.
"Good afternoon," Twilight says with a giggle, leaning in to kiss Fluttershy's nose. The pegasus smiles right back with her eyes half closed, still as relaxed as she could possibly be from the few hours previous.
"The same to you... I uhm," Twilight cuts the mare off, leaning in for another deep kiss, holding her close and feeling her face grow warm with a heavy blush. Fluttershy shivers from the affection and returns the kiss, stretching her wings out and letting them dangle lazily over the side of the bed.
Twilight slowly opens her eyes and pulls away from the kiss, reaching her hoof up and brushing Fluttershy's hair behind her ear. "I really enjoyed that..."
"I did too Twilight, I uhm... I didn't know that would feel so good..." Fluttershy can't help herself from trying to hide her face from the embarrassment.
"Mmmn, I've read about that time and time again but I had no idea either. Thank you so much, Fluttershy... Do... Do you want to stay with me?" Twilight asks, wrapping her arms around the yellow mare's back and holding her close.
"Of course, Twilight... I can't think of anything better," Fluttershy responds, kissing the lavender unicorn's neck and snuggling against her, folding her wings against her sides once again and resting comfortably against Twilight.
Twilight yawns and sits up, using some pillows to prop up her weight and gaze around the room. She admires all of Fluttershy's classic decorations: quilts, an old-timey clock, several small pictures of her and her friends, and a couple of hoof-carved toys that seem to be from her childhood.
"I didn't know you collected things," She says after spying the toys, unsure of quite what to say without sounding insulting.
"Hmm? Well I guess I just pick up a few things here an there... What do you mean, exactly?" She responds, following Twilight's gaze to the small group of dolls on the hearth in her bedroom. "You mean the dolls?"
"Well yeah, definitely the dolls, but some of the other stuff too... It seems almost... Antique. Don't get me wrong though, they add a very cozy feel to this place, I've just never seen too much like them before," The purple unicorn says, looking back down to Fluttershy as she props herself up against the bed.
"A lot of that stuff is from home... Back where I used to live there were a ton of artisan ponies who made things like those. For some reason my neighborhood was full of them, and most of the things that people had were hoof-made. When I was a filly I was particularly fond of the dolls... They took a lot of love and patience to make, and just having them felt like I had a little bit of that love and patience to keep for myself,"
Twilight can't help but smile at the sentiment. She leans down and hugs Fluttershy softly, relaxing and humming happily in the warmth of their embrace. The gentile silence is interrupted first by the rustling of leaves outside the window. Fluttershy lived in one of the few trees around Ponyville that didn't lose their leaves during the winter; Twilight's library was another of them.
Both of the ponies find the sound soothing; the soft music of nature flowing around them as they stay safe and cozy in their bed. As the wind dies down, the silence is once again broken, but this time by a grumbling in Twilight's stomach. This prompts a giggle from Fluttershy, who looks up at the mare and rubs her tummy, "Hungry?"
Twilight smiles sheepishly and shrugs "I wouldn't mind going out to get something to eat with you,"
Fluttershy sits up and stretches, kicking her legs out of the bed and standing up, looking at the clock and realizing the time, "Maybe getting dinner is a good idea..."
Twilight lazily gets out of the bed as well, using her magic to place the quilt from atop Fluttershy's bed back perfectly. Looking over to Fluttershy as she steps toward the stairs and stretches her body out, "Feel like going to Friesian's?"
"B-But isn't that place expensive? Like... really expensive?
"Well... yeah... but it's my treat. It's been kind of a special day so I figure we should end it with something special," Twilight says happily as she starts to walk downstairs.
"Aww, Twilight you don't have to do that..." Fluttershy follows behind, feeling a gentile warmth in her heart from the gesture.
"No no, I insist. I really do want to go someplace nice... I've never been on a real date before, and since you made my entire day back there I can't think of anybody else I'd rather go out with. Whaddya say?"
"Well... I suppose if you i-insist..." Fluttershy sheepishly says, very happy about the prospect but still feeling almost guilty about letting Twilight spend the money. Celestia knows she doesn't have it herself. "B-but aren't you worried about somebody else seeing us?"
Twilight giggles a little bit and finds her scarf and saddlebag, taking out enough bits to cover the expected cost of the dinner, "Honestly, Fluttershy, at this point I don't mind if someone sees us... I think Dash was right when she said that our friends would be happy, and who cares about the rest of the town? We saved their lives several times already,"
"I guess that's true... Well I won't turn down a gift, but at least let me pay for half..."
"Tell you what, you can leave the tip," Twilight says, leaning in to kiss Fluttershy on the cheek, "But I want this to be my gift to you. Think of it as a... special thank you for such an amazing few hours,"
Fluttershy squeaks a little and blushes a deep shade of red; her body was still tingling from all of the 'magic' Twilight had used on her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rainbow Dash, lazily lounging on a cloud and gazing over Ponyville, spots her new favorite couple exit from Fluttershy's tree-home off in the distance. She feels like going to say hello, but knows deep down that they probably want to be alone. She does, however, decide to watch them for a while and see what they're up to; not much else to do until the cloudmakers actually finish their jobs and make the snow-producing clouds.
The cyan pony glances around and flaps her wings a few times; not leaving a trail but propelling the cloud forward into Ponyville, spying on the happy couple. From up in the sky Dash can see that they are walking together as usual, both wearing scarves that they likely bought from Rarity... And Fluttershy has her wing around Twilight's withers. The rainbow maned pegasus scoffs a little bit at the overt cuteness of the two of them. She's jealous but would never admit it; not necessarily wanting either of the two for herself, but upset that she can't even hold a stable relationship. The fastest pony in Equestria, the pony that saved the lives of Rarity and three of the Wonderbolts at the same time, the only pony that could perform a sonic rainboom and she couldn't find someone that she wanted to stay with. Fluttershy didn't even want to find a marefriend or a coltfriend for the longest time, and then suddenly poof, now she's with Twilight.
Rainbow is incapable of being as cute and sweet as Fluttershy, but she likes to think she's at least somewhat attractive to the average pony. Stallions from all over the country have been sweet on her, and that's definitely a boost to her already swollen self-image, but she fears being too set in her reputation to really admit to the public that she likes mares instead. To protect said reputation, she just plays hard to get for all of the stallions, sending them mixed messages and eventually chasing them off. Self-destructive behavior or not, she enjoys being adored, and wants desperately to have someone to call her own.
Rainbow snaps out of her envious train of thought as she notices the couple headed toward the more expensive side of Ponyville, and more specifically into Friesian's. Dash always wanted to go there...
She rolls onto her back and huffs as the two ponies disappear into the pricey restaurant. She stares up into the sky longingly, having only really been in love with flying before but now seeing that she longs for companionship.
"If Fluttershy can do it, why can't I?" She asks herself aloud, crossing her legs and propping her head up with her forelegs. Gently kicking her highest leg to the beat of some song she had heard recently.
"Spitfire wouldn't be caught dead with somepony like me... Even if she does swing that way she wouldn't want to 'stain her spotless reputation by being with a commoner' anyhow... Whatever the heck that means..." Rainbow says with a mocking and sarcastic tone. She sighs and looks off to her left, watching the sun as it sets below the horizon, painting the sky a deep shade of orange before finally dying out into blackness.
Hmm... Applejack hasn't ever had a coltfriend since we've known each other... She thinks to herself, imagining all the times that she and Applejack have had their little competitions. Maybe... No, there's no way... A country girl like her? She'd probably burn me at the stake if I asked her that... but then again... The pegasus sits placidly atop her cloud, weighing out what could and couldn't happen if she were to approach the earth pony with such a question.
Screw it... Fluttershy did it and she's happier than ever... Tomorrow I'll catch AJ when she's out doing something alone and ask, She lets a smug grin sneak across her face. "Applejack..." She says it aloud, loving the way her name rings off her tongue.
"I sure hope you're as open minded as you seem to be AJ... I wouldn't mind having someone athletic to race before a long night of lovin' every single day," She can't help but laugh at herself, she hasn't felt this girly since she was just a little filly playing with Wonderbolts dolls.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sun finishes setting behind the sky, leaving no trace of orange light against the black canvas. Luna's moon takes its reign over the land, accompanied only by the beautiful, twinkling stars. Fluttershy sits back in her chair, dropping the cloth napkin onto her completely empty plate and looking across the candlelit table at Twilight. Twilight, who had finished a few minutes ago, sits happily grinning at her marefriend, thinking to herself that the candle flame seems to tease across her nose via its position on the table.
Twilight manages to flag down the waiter pony and ask for the check, declining desert after a quick check with Fluttershy, and looking woefully at the bill.
"H-How much is it... you sure you don't want me to help pay?" Fluttershy asks, feeling a little guilty even though her dinner was half the price of Twilight's.
"Oh, no no it's okay Fluttershy. As I said, it's my treat," Twilight responds with a nervous chuckle, taking out her pouch of bits and counting it, eventually deciding to drop the whole bag onto the table as they get up to leave.
Fluttershy and Twilight walk side-by-side toward the door, and the pegasus doesn't think twice about putting her wing around Twilight's back as usual. She feels comfortable, needed and loving with a warm body under her wing, almost motherly, so she forgets the current situation and just does what she feels is right. This prompts a few dirty looks from the snooty and sophisticated, tux-wearing ponies dining around; she even thinks she can pick out a "well I never in all my years..." from the hushed gasp of a few select tables. The embarrassed pegasus looks down, her wing quivering from the second thoughts and eventually folding back against her side.
Twilight, having felt Fluttershy shrink away from her at all the commotion, scowls a little. She's upset at the disdain from the room, especially the judgment of such uptight ponies who couldn't tell the difference between night and day if their butlers didn't dress them in pajamas or three-piece suits.
"You got a problem?" Twilight says in a loud, lecturing tone, "Fluttershy here is the kindest, sweetest, and most loving pony in this whole town," She doesn't quite focus on any one table, but looks around to all of the offenders, making absolutely sure to lock eyes with every single one of them, "She saved the town from a dragon almost single-hoofedly, and was necessary for stopping Nightmare Moon and Discord... What have you done lately?" Many of the snooty ponies understand where Twilight is coming from and try to hide their faces. The usually timid unicorn finally snapped at having her relationship insulted so readily.
"T-T-Twilight..." Fluttershy stutters, embarrassed beyond belief, though flattered, that Twilight would go out of her way to defend the pegasus.
"I love Fluttershy and I'm not afraid to say it. If you don't like it, fine... but we won't stand to be insulted by a bunch of losers who have about as much class as a rock. You all should be ashamed of yourselves, not us, how dare you!"
Fluttershy just wishes that she could be someplace else, shivering under the spotlight that had been placed on the two of them as deviants; she's terrified.
"Madams, I'm going to have to ask you to please leave the restaurant," A pudgy green earth pony in a tuxedo and with the most ridiculous mustache that either of the pair had ever seen had managed to walk up to them without being noticed. Twilight huffs and stomps the ground as she obliges; Fluttershy ducks her head and follows without so much as a peep.
As Fluttershy meets the frustrated unicorn outside she almost doesn't want to look her in the eyes. That outburst was a little too much, and when Twilight said she 'loved' the mare she felt like she was moving a little too quickly. "Twilight... Are you okay?" She can't even berate without being nice.
Twilight kicks a rock out of the road with her foreleg, turning to meet gazes with the mortified Fluttershy, "I'm really sorry about that... I... I-I felt you pull your wing away when they started scoffing and I just couldn't deal with someone else hurting your feelings that badly... I didn't mean to embarrass you, I just... I..." Twilight has come down off of her soap box and realizes the damage. She tries her best to apologize to Fluttershy, who seems accepting but still somehow hurt.
"M-maybe we should keep this a little more quiet for a while... I just don't think I'm ready for public episodes like this..." Fluttershy says, walking over to kiss Twilight on the cheek and then taking flight, "I need to go home... I think you should too... I'm sorry, Twilight, but we'll talk a little more tomorrow..." She fights away some tears as she turns around and flies toward home; the unicorn isn't quite as stoic, surprisingly.
"Fluttershy, wait!" Twilight calls out, tears already streaming down her cheeks, "I-I-I... I just... want you to be happy..." But it's too late, the pegasus is almost gone into the night sky and her voice trails off toward the end. She can't do anything but run home, sobbing.
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confound those snooty jackasses
they drive me to be pissed off at them
but poor poor twi 'n' shy....
ALSO, about the ending of last chapter and beginning of this one, giggity 
ON THE OTHER HOOF, as much as i'd love to have sex the same day i got into a relationship with someone, i think that's a tad to quick.
Excellent addition. I was looking for a word for the longest time to describe this fic, and I've finally settled. Tasteful. It is that to a T! the emotion is expertly conveyed and the you really know how to make a reader empathize with the characters and their situations. On an unrelated note, was this chapter name a bob marley reference by chance?
Now that was a nice chapter. I enjoy a thought-provoking chapter. It's nice to see Twilight being more assertive. Both Fluttershy and Twilight need more assertive. 
Well, one of them needs to be more assertive.
Now, bring forth the internal conflict as Twilight questions her self-worth! 
>>26175 Yes it was a bob marley reference 
a) I love that song, b) Fluttershy has birds, c) There are three highlighted characters in the chapter (three little birds), and d) The lyrics in the song ("Every little thing's gonna be alright") Were supposed to help deal with the fact that there's a conflict going on now, and also the rainbowdash+applejack decision where dashie is taking a risk 
unlike a few of the other chapters i really thought this one out
and
>>26407 I'll tell you what i tell everybody else: I'm writing it in present tense to challenge myself, I much prefer past tense with a narrator, but I just wanted to do this for a different perspective 
hopefully other fellows with the same note will read this comment, or maybe one of my other many comments before leaving the same comment.
Gentile: Noun; A person who is not Jewish. - Adjective; Not Jewish.
Gentle: Adjective; Mild in temperament or behavior; kind or tender. - Verb; Make or become gentle; calm or pacify.
Sorry. Just HAD to say that. You keep using 'gentile', and I understand that it's a one-letter mistake, but... still.
"Fluttershy follows behind, feeling a gentile warmth in her heart from the gesture."
What that basically means:
"Fluttershy follows behind, feeling a non-Jewish warmth in her heart from the gesture."
What I think you meant:
"Fluttershy follows behind, feeling a tender/mild/gentle warmth in her heart from the gesture."
Again, sorry for going so far as to whip out my pocket dictionary just t make sure I was right, but... yeah. Sorry. If you can, please fix. If not, then please don't make the mistake anymore, mmkay? 
Lovely story so far, I'll wait with held breath for the next chapter! *SHARP INHALE*
One can't remember if he said the following at the end of the last chapter, so if he did, one apologizes.
Mmmm... TBH, it has just moved too fast for one to enjoy. I mean, this all happened in a matter of what, a few days? MAYBE a week? I mean no offense, but that's just insane. Especially when talking about two reclusive ponies like Fluttershy and Twilight. Wasn't it just earlier that day that Rainbow found out about them, teased them about 'watching', and then they actually do it a few hours later? That just... Sorry, but that's WAY too fast. One will keep reading, but the lack of good pacing prevents one from ranking this fic 5 stars. Closer to 3.5-4 starts TBH. Pacing is very important in a story, and this story just feel like it has virtually none. Just something to think about for future fics. Trevor doesn't mean to insult you, but it's a major problem that needed addressed, so that you don't make the same mistake twice.
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
>>26473 Thank you for pointing that out x.x i hate when i do shit like that... I'll go back and fix it sooner or later, but i'll definitely make sure i don't make the same mistake from now on, i appreciate the pointer.
>>26481 As for YOU Mr. "Magical Trevor"... Yeah this happens quickly, yeah they're both reclusive ponies, but what better reason than not being in a relationship ever to immediately think about rushing into one? ever been with a person like that in real life? I have... they start saying "i love you" within a day... and i dunno if you actually read the story but Fluttershy has second thoughts about how quickly everything's been moving by the end of the most recent chapter... You're perfectly welcome to rate the story down just because you misread or have a false opinion on it, but don't think that's going to earn your rating/opinion/story review any respect from me or any other fellows who read your comments.
>>26484 Raijack? Y'mean... RainbowJack or AppleDash? Over-used? Eh, that's debatable. Is it getting to the point where those of us who are reading shipfics feel like we're reading the same plot over and over again, but with slightly different speeds? Likely. Is it like eating cupcakes everyday, the only difference being that the frosting? \most definitely. Am I getting sick and tired of the complaining? Eh, !20% HELL YES, but what am I gonna do about it? If you aren't complaining that it should stop, you're whining that there isn't a new one yet.
...... Fuck. I just reminded myself. The new episode aired yesterday, it did oh god I gotta go posting comm
This was a very nice chapter. I love how Twilight defended Fluttershy even though it seeded the fear of ridicule in her mind. Also, Rainbow feeling jealous of Fluttershy's relationship and wishing something meaningful for herself. It's funny that she's approaching it in her usual forward and brash manner, and just going to ask Applejack out. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Hello again! 
I hope you’re ready for another wall of text?
Brace yourself here it comes! 
I’ve read your comment on my previous critique and have read the whole story (including the latest chapter :) ) under this premisse again. Now I can understand what you’ve meant. In your head everything is clear while you write the story down and I understand that your focus is on Fluttershy’s and not Twilight’s evolution in this Fic. Apparently that was the reason why I thought Twilight act too much out of impuls and feals off for me.
After reading everything again and keeping that in mind every time Twilight does something I would have thought she doesn’t I stopped and was thinking about it. Except for one part (the scene on Fluttershys couch when she suddenly pinned Fluttershy and showered her with kisses) I came to the conclusion that her reactions are fine with me. And don’t mind the couch scene it’s fine, just the only one where I have a bit of a trouble to follow Twilight’s anticipated train of thoughts ^^’
That lefts only the “teasing” I don’t like, but as the story continues I guess this wont show up much anyway.
And don’t get mad because of the “fast pacing” I think it wasn’t ill intended ^^ It make me think about it though (Yes I do read the comments and many of them encourage me to think about your story in other ways). Sure it is “fast” First day they spend a night together in bed and awake with an “innocent” ^^ kiss. Same day later this afternoon they end of in another one and, well, giving Angel nightmares? ^^
As for now you explained quite reasonable why both of them ended up in bed. That an unicorns horn is quite sensitive makes sense and with all the worked up emotions and funny feelings I surely can consider this to happen. And in my opinion it’s not “too fast” at all since the mane 6 know each other for more than 1 year, fighting back ancient evils stand for each other in desperate situations and much more. They’re all used to be together and give each other comfort to encourage them or make them feal better. Love surely needs to build up but right now I see it that this affection for each other was long hidden beneath and just needed a little nudge to show up.
Sooo no complaining about this one from my side ^^
But!
After reading again I spotted another major time problem that I haven’t noticed before. I’ll most likely mess a bit up with the chapters, but I try to point it out:
Chapter 1: Day 1 Late afternoon, Fluttershy arrives barely with the sunset at the library. They go to bed after 10 p.m. Fluttershy is up early again and the first kiss.
Chapter 2: They have talked about it a while and Fluttershy napped for another half an hour. She goes down to see Spike and Twilight preparing breakfast. They eat it, a letter from the princess interrupt them and Fluttershy helds an inner monologue. They leave the library to go to Fluttershy’s home. Suddenly it’s afternoon.
Chapter 3 and 4: It’s still afternoon and the sun already low on the sky (at least I’ve read it this way) Rainbow Dash breaks in and made the funniest prank I’ve ever seen (okay only for the watchers not for the ones who where on the receiving end I guess :x ) After that Fluttershy cares for her pets. Stating “it’s about 24 hours she had fed them” So it’s still (very) late afternoon.
Chapter 5: After feeding the animals they are on the sofa and talk to each other. Getting comfort at the fire place and Fluttershy tells about her childhood. Still afternoon.
Chapter 6: After “hours” *cough*enviable*cough* of fooling around and even taking a nap it’s still afternoon. They go to eat something at a hoity toity restaurant and it’s not even dark when they go outside.
Soooo. Was Princess Celestia that much distracted while watching the cute young couple that she forgot to move the sun at all? ^.~
No nagging here I can live with it quite happily and a very long afternoon is nothing I would put my attention to since the story itself is so lovely ^^ Just watch out for this kind of things with your next chapters ^^
What follows now is just meant as feedback and not as critique. Means you may consider it as a possible thought for later chapters or disregard it completly since it’s just one ponys opinion about some things. I just like hear myself talking (or like to read in this case)
I liked the latest chapter because of Rainbow’s appearance there. It displays a good amount of insight to her thinking and how she “ticks.” And I’m mostly with you about the picture you draw how Rainbows personality works.
Almost I emphasize.
I agree that Rainbow is most likely the “one night stand” type. A hot flirt followed by an even hotter night ^^ And I surely can imagine that nopony except a selected few can hold the pace with which Rainbow lives. (Applejack and Pinkie Pie being the only ones that comes to mind when I only regard the mane 6)
What I have to ask. Or no, I don’t ask really, just wondering if you’ve made Rainbow lesbian for reasons within the story alone or not. I would think of Rainbow that she doesn’t let a chance go slip by beneath her hooves may it be a stallion, or a mare who advances at her ^^’ Okay probably it was a mistake to mention that at all I don’t want to start a fight whether Rainbow Dash is straigt, bi or lesbian.
At least I’m fine with it either way and she is actually established this way in the Fic anyway, way too late to complain now about it. Just call it curiousity ^^’
And I’m excited to read what Rainbow is about to do with AJ. I can really see how she must feal right now. The strong, athletic and ever so successful type Rainbow and not able to get a closer relationship to anypony. She trys hardly to make up for it and get everypony to notice her (talking about an attention whore ^^’ )
But I do get a bad vibe about what may happen when she advances to AJ. I’ve just the fealing that it doesn’t go quite as well as it was between Fluttershy and Twilight.
No you don’t have to answer this now, I’m going to read it anyway :]
The scene with the restaurant was splendid. Surely Twilight over reacted and there would be plenty other ways to display her disgust towards the “chique and rich” without upsetting Fluttershy and still comforting her low self esteem, but it’s a dramatic climax and you already said you want to have one.
You were very successful in setting up such an embarassing moment and to give some tensions between the both and the society around them, while Twilight stays in character. Yes over reaction and such as I stated, but if Twilight snapped because her friends got insulted in any way this would be the way how she reacts, for that I’m sure *nods*
Can’t wait for the next chapter what they’ll do the flatten the waves Twilight had caused and how it turns out what AJ is about to say when Rainbow drops out of the sky and ask her for a date ^^
Hope I didn’t forgot anything important this time but you can be sure I’ll show up again when something important comes to mind.
>>26586 I do so very much love these comments, they're helpful sometimes and they always show me some things to improve on ^^ 
Anyway, about the time frame... Before going over to Twilight's library the first time Fluttershy was just cleaning, she didn't feed the animals, so the comment about "not having fed the animals in 24 hours" refers to the last time they had lunch... she wasn't expecting to stay out so late, so the 24 hours mark isn't as late as you interpreted it (my fault for not being clear however, i understand that the mistake is somewhat on my end.) And in the middle chapters the term "afternoon" is mostly meant to be 1 or 2 in the afternoon, not late afternoon. They have their fun in Fluttershy's bed sometime around 4 after all the other escapades happened, and then wake up at dusk, so 3 hours pass (say 2 hours of fillyfooling and 1 hour nap) therefore the time isn't quite as inconsistent, but when i go back to edit everything I'll give the language a once-over and make sure that's a little more clear.
Regardless of consistency: The cycle of the day is actually a long metaphor that i kinda shoe-horned into the story... Keeping to the lore of the pony universe that relies heavily on the sun and moon, i decided to make the cycle of dawn, noon, and dusk be somewhat representative of the relationship that they've been developing. Dusk for Fluttershy's fears and inhibitions about confronting Twilight, dawn for the beginning of the relationship, noon for it hitting its 'climax' (pun intended) and dusk again for it to start going dark So because it was shoe-horned in there and not really developed as much as i would have liked it to be... i can understand that it wasn't 100% clear and consistent and perfectly well done, but lesson learned for next time! (I kinda just decided on that halfway through writing the first chapter)
As for Dash's sexual orientation, that's a personal insert of my own. She could have swung both ways and still fit in the story, but there would be less reason for her to be single as Stallions would have been keen on her. Ever since I first heard about the debate of whether or not she was a lesbian as portrayed in the show (and after watching the first few episodes and making the judgments myself) I've sided with the lesbian argument. I see her as a lesbian, admittedly adhering to some social stereotypes (by no means do i think all folks who act like rainbow dash have to be lesbians) but that's just how i see her and how i think of her... In the interests of keeping this comment pool clean of any debate as to whether or not she is or is not a lesbian I'm going to say right now: If you want to ask me why i think so, send me a private message and I'd be happy to discuss it with you, but if you leave comments about it I'm going to delete them, no warnings, this story isn't about Dash's orientation, this is about FlutterTwi.
>perform a sonic rainboom and she couldn't
Sonic Rainboom, as far as I know, is a proper noun.
> Luna's moon takes its reign
Phrases like "Celestia's sun" and "Luna's moon" should really only be used for when they are raising/lowering them or something important is happening with the princesses. Otherwise it just detracts from the story.
Dash's part is a little telly, but I'm still loving it.
The soft light of dusk pours into Fluttershy's window, casting a shimmering ray of pale light over the two napping ponies. A very traumatized Angel Bunny slowly hops down the stairs, having seen things that he wishes he could un-see. Things he knows he can never speak of to anyone; mostly because he can't speak, but also because of his new desire to completely block out the memories.
lol sorry but i had to put this beggining paragraph in it made me lol so hard poor angel lol 
dude... That part when twilight flips out in the restaurant... That's some moving shit. I didn't see that coming. Fuck. You are amazing. You're probably the only writer in my eyes who has ever measured up to John Hughes. I love it. You have such a talent.
And I've been to a slayer concert.
So, lemme get this straight; Fluttershy has nooo issue at all with having naughty time before their first date, but she gets scared when she hears the L word?
In my opinion, this is the single blemish upon this otherwise pristine work. It's simply adorable. I've grinned stupidly at so many parts and I'm not even halfway through yet.
Hmm... Applejack hasn't ever had a coltfriend since we've known each other... She thinks to herself, imagining all the times that she and Applejack have had their little competitions. Maybe... No, there's no way... A country girl like her? She'd probably burn me at the stake if I asked her that... but then again... The pegasus sits placidly atop her cloud, weighing out what could and couldn't happen if she were to approach the earth pony with such a question.
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