• Member Since 28th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Oct 7th, 2014

CharlieD282


Reading is magic!

T

After searching for Fluttershy for some days. Twilight, Rarity and Applejack discover a shocking event. That will scar them... forever.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 23 )

This story is something of the divine: I believe God himself wrote this fic, and bestowed it onto us mortals.

But it was not to reward us.

No, God grew tired of us and our insubordination, and this here scripture is a punishment for the sins we have committed. We washed ourselves int he blood of our fathers, not knowing the terror that would be wrought upon us.

So, to all you non-believers out there: this story is proof that God is real, and that he hates us.

4758740

My first FIM story was a cupcakes sequel, lael.

But I didn't post it for obvious reasons.

DWK

4758740
So to all you non-believers out there: this comment is proof that Regidar is a faggot, and I hate him.

Also hallelujah, a cupcakes sequel! Fucking ingenious, Dan out of Dan, would never have thought of.

4758746 my first content in the fandom was a cupcakes song parody of "Still Alive"
was pretty autistic

Could someone enlighten me about what I did wrong? I really wanna know...

4758755 Something still being circulated. Why the fuck have you done this?

4758807 cupcakes sequels are typically always bad, and this was no exception. You're not an awful writer, but this was needlessly dark and edgy. Try easing into the fanfiction game with something lighter, just so you can establish yourself as a writer and get some practice before tackling things that are VERY hard to pull off, like Cupcakes sequels/prequels/continuations of any kind. I've seen it pulled off successfully once or twice, and fail more than a hundred times. You've got potential, don't waste it.


4758808 wait
what
please tell me you're kidding

4758847
Thanks for your feedback. I understand that I should have done something a little more simple than a Cupcakes sequel.

A bakewell? That could've been a good pun.

4758875 Alright, that's good. Now work on writing something new, that'll be able to garner you something other than a bunch of aimless, bored losers with nothing better to do then rag on people who write less-than-desirable fics. :rainbowkiss:


4758896 guh
where is it still circulating?

4758935 Someone sang it on YouTube.

I find this to be a good story so far, and I feel I should help you improve yourself! When I read your note at the beginning, I was prepared for the worst, but you aren't too bad! Well, here is what I found.

"*gulp* Very well. We leave in 10 minutes, get your boots on" Said Twilight

Instead of putting, "*gulp* You should have done something different. You don't put actions between ""'s. Maybe try something like, Gulping, Twilight said. "Very well. We leave in 10 minutes, get your boots on."
Also, Much More is a big no in writing. I forgot why you don't write down Much More but instead of that, try things like, it was more quieter, or, it was much darker!
Besides that, so far so good ^-^ Keep up the good work, I wish to read more!

4758942 ew gross
have you a link

4759083 what
that's not mine

4759121 Then what did you write? I want to witness this autism.

i really like, how you started with this, a few improvements and you got it going, i started too, just 2 days ago, working on a adventure story and i am glad to have a friend who improves and spellchecks my story, may you shall ask someone to do it for you too

4759121
Oh, Regidar, didn't expect to find you here.

I suppose dark fans are attracted to Cupcakes-esque stories like moths to a bloody candle.

4759141 it was something on devianrtart


4759887 suppose so

I wonder how this would look on youtube... heh

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