• Published 27th Jul 2014
  • 750 Views, 23 Comments

Cupcakes: The Bakequel - CharlieD282



Three ponies continue their 3 day search for Fluttershy. And discover something terrible.

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The Bakequel

Author's Note:

This is my first story. So sorry for the poor quality. I am currently working on a bigger project that could take a few weeks. So stay tuned for that!

It was a hot, humid evening in Ponyville. There were lots of clouds as Rainbow Dash hadn't been seen for months and the atmosphere was very tense. Twilight sighed as she looked out her window with longing eyes.

"Three days... three days since we last saw her! Where the hell is she?" Asked Twilight to her friends.

"We have checked everywhere, she's certainly not in Ponyville." Replied Rarity with a confused look on her face.

"Well then where could she be? If she ran away, she could be as far as Manehattan by now!" Exclaimed Applejack

Twilight looked up, she had gotten an image, an image that shocked her to the core.

"What if... s-someone... took her?" Twilight asked almost silently.

"T-that's impossible! why would someone do something that awful?" Replied Rarity.

"A pervert would really like a quiet, defenseless pony like Fluttershy" Whispered Twilight

Silence filled the room, the clock above Twilight's door ticked like an alarm clock on a Monday morning. Until the silence was broken by Applejack.

"We should keep looking. We have to expand our search!"

"And where would we start? Equestria is a huge area! She could be anywhere!" Replied Twilight in an angry tone

"If she was... taken, then they would want to hide somewhere nopony would look" Snaped Applejack

"Where?" Replied Twilight

"The Everfree Forest!"

Everyone gasped at the sound of that awful place. Sure, Twilight goes in there all the time to meet with Zecora, but with the thought of a helpless Fluttershy hidden away in there just gave her the shivers.

"*gulp* Very well. We leave in 10 minutes, get your boots on" Said Twilight.

It seemed colder, as the three ponies stepped outside. It was much more quiet. Everypony would probably be asleep at this time of nigiht. The moon was barley visible as the ponies walked through town. On the way they asked random ponies when they last saw Fluttershy. Unfortunately there were no leads... until they bumped into Mr Cake.

"Oh, hello there Mr. Cake! Say, have you seen Fluttershy? We can't find her anywhere." Asked Applejack

"Hmm... yes, about three days ago. She came by Sugarcube Corner to help Pinkie with something."

"That's great news! What happened after that?" Replied Twilight

"I didn't see much after that. I did hear a large bang in the back that sounded like someone fell, but Pinkie said she dropped something."

"Hmmm... thank you, Mr. Cake. This is... interesting..." Said Twilight

"No problem. Be careful now, the night isn't safe for young mares like yourselves" Replied Mr Cake

"We will!" Said Rarity as they kept traveling through town.

It took some time for Twilight to process what she heard. At this moment in time, she didn't know what to do. There was just too much information for Twilight to handle. She knew she needed a rest.

"Can we s-stop for a second?"

"What's wrong Twi?" Asked Applejack

"I was just thinking about Fluttershy" Replied Twilight

"I'm sure she's fine dear" Rarity said, trying to comfort the young pony

"I know that, but... if the worst has happened. I feel like I couldn't live with it. With the fact that I couldn't use my intelligence to find a lost pony!"

"You're thinking too deeply, Twi!" Exclaimed Applejack

"I agree, you need to be more positive dear. If she is lost, she can talk to the woodland creatures and get them to help her" Said Rarity

"*sigh* I guess you're right..." Whispered Twilight.

It didn't take long for the group to get to the entrance of the forest. It seemed much more dark and sinister at night, the cold filled Twilight's body like a bath filled with ice. By now the entire group were having second thoughts. Luckily courage built up in Twilight as she took a step in.

"Come on girls! We're going in!" Exclaimed Twilight

"Are you sure dear? Maybe we should look somewhere else" Said Rarity

"No! We came this far, we can't turn back now!" Replied Twilight

"Twi, we're only a the end of town" Said Applejack

"S-shut up!"

The group entered the forest. Twilight felt strange as she had done this hundreds of times before. But never with this much fear and with this big of a mindset. They were shouting Fluttershy's name every few seconds to see if they could draw her out. But with no reply. They had almost given up until Rarity spotted something in the distance. The group walked over to it.

"A... cupcake? Why the hell is there a cupcake here?" Asked Twilight

"I-I have no idea!" Replied Rarity

"This has to be a clue!" Exclaimed Twilight "Why would someone drop a cupcake on the grou-"

Twilight was stopped by a faint whistle coming from the left of the group. Shocked, all three ponies turned their heads to see pinkie standing between two trees. But Pinkie looked different. Her hair was straight and an almost creepy smile covered her face. A few blood soaked knives were strewn across the floor. A whimpering Fluttershy lay on the ground next to Pinkie, drenched in a black liquid.

"Pinkie! You found her! Thank goodness!" Exclaimed Rarity.

But Pinkie Pie said nothing. She just smiled, which then turned into a demonic laughter. Pinkie reached into her bag and pulled out a match. She started chuckling as she lit it. Fluttershy finally gained the strength to look at the shocked ponies. She said her final word...

"R-run..."

Pinkie chucked the match onto the yellow pony, setting her ablaze. The terrified Twilight dropped the cupcake on the floor. The contents of the cupcake were the remains of a ponies liver. With faint scraps of... Rainbow Dash's cutie mark... The ponies could barley move as Pinkie ran at them with a scalpel.

All was silent in the forest...

Comments ( 21 )

This story is something of the divine: I believe God himself wrote this fic, and bestowed it onto us mortals.

But it was not to reward us.

No, God grew tired of us and our insubordination, and this here scripture is a punishment for the sins we have committed. We washed ourselves int he blood of our fathers, not knowing the terror that would be wrought upon us.

So, to all you non-believers out there: this story is proof that God is real, and that he hates us.

4758740

My first FIM story was a cupcakes sequel, lael.

But I didn't post it for obvious reasons.

DWK

4758740
So to all you non-believers out there: this comment is proof that Regidar is a faggot, and I hate him.

Also hallelujah, a cupcakes sequel! Fucking ingenious, Dan out of Dan, would never have thought of.

4758746 my first content in the fandom was a cupcakes song parody of "Still Alive"
was pretty autistic

Could someone enlighten me about what I did wrong? I really wanna know...

4758755 Something still being circulated. Why the fuck have you done this?

4758807 cupcakes sequels are typically always bad, and this was no exception. You're not an awful writer, but this was needlessly dark and edgy. Try easing into the fanfiction game with something lighter, just so you can establish yourself as a writer and get some practice before tackling things that are VERY hard to pull off, like Cupcakes sequels/prequels/continuations of any kind. I've seen it pulled off successfully once or twice, and fail more than a hundred times. You've got potential, don't waste it.


4758808 wait
what
please tell me you're kidding

4758847
Thanks for your feedback. I understand that I should have done something a little more simple than a Cupcakes sequel.

A bakewell? That could've been a good pun.

4758875 Alright, that's good. Now work on writing something new, that'll be able to garner you something other than a bunch of aimless, bored losers with nothing better to do then rag on people who write less-than-desirable fics. :rainbowkiss:


4758896 guh
where is it still circulating?

4758935 Someone sang it on YouTube.

I find this to be a good story so far, and I feel I should help you improve yourself! When I read your note at the beginning, I was prepared for the worst, but you aren't too bad! Well, here is what I found.

"*gulp* Very well. We leave in 10 minutes, get your boots on" Said Twilight

Instead of putting, "*gulp* You should have done something different. You don't put actions between ""'s. Maybe try something like, Gulping, Twilight said. "Very well. We leave in 10 minutes, get your boots on."
Also, Much More is a big no in writing. I forgot why you don't write down Much More but instead of that, try things like, it was more quieter, or, it was much darker!
Besides that, so far so good ^-^ Keep up the good work, I wish to read more!

4758942 ew gross
have you a link

4759083 what
that's not mine

4759121 Then what did you write? I want to witness this autism.

i really like, how you started with this, a few improvements and you got it going, i started too, just 2 days ago, working on a adventure story and i am glad to have a friend who improves and spellchecks my story, may you shall ask someone to do it for you too

4759121
Oh, Regidar, didn't expect to find you here.

I suppose dark fans are attracted to Cupcakes-esque stories like moths to a bloody candle.

4759141 it was something on devianrtart


4759887 suppose so

I wonder how this would look on youtube... heh

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