Octavia and Vinyl exited the carriage, taking their first breaths of Ponyville air.
For some reason, they both felt right at home. The feel of the small town was quaint and welcoming. The scent of fresh apples floating over from Sweet Apple Acres mingled with the even more delicious smell of fresh baked goods wafting from Sugarcube Corner. The two trotted around the main fountain, watching other ponies move past them, finishing their errands before nightfall.
"If I remember correctly, Pinkie told me she lived at Sugarcube Corner." Vinyl said,turning towards the bakery.
"I see. Well, lead the way then." Octavia said, following Vinyl as she made her way towards it.
The two entered the confectionery, completely overwhelmed by the delectable smells within, the shelves lined with treats the likes of which the two had only seen in Canterlot's best bakeries, and even they could not compare to how good everything looked. The stallion at the counter turned from what he was doing, hearing the bell above the door signal the entry of a customer.
"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, where we bake the sweetest treats for you to eat! How can I help you two lovely young mares today?" He asked cheerily.
"Oh, good evening sir. We were wondering-"
"Hey, is Pinkie home?" Vinyl asked, cutting her off. Before Octavia could finish, a hot pink blur shot passed her and nearly tackled Vinyl back out the door.
Mr. Cake merely sighed. "Why yes, she is. I'll be in the back if you need me." He said, moving through one of the doors and shutting it behind him.
"SCRATCHIE! It's SOOOO good to see you again! Which is funny, because I KNEW I'd be seeing you again. I had the strangest twitch- ear flop, knee shake, tummy rumble, and a hoof itch, ALL AT ONCE- that means I'm going to see an old friend, and here you are! It's been almost three months and four days since we saw each other at that party, which was a TOTAL rager!" Pinkie said, somehow all in one breath.
Octavia felt exhausted just listening to her. She hadn't even MET this "Pinkie" yet and she could already tell why Vinyl spoke so fondly of her: Pinkie was just as crazy as she was.
"It's good to see you too, Pinkie...though it'd be GREAT if you got off of me first!" Vinyl groaned, Pinkie still sitting on top of her.
"Whoopsie, silly me! I didn't mean to tackle you, Scratchie, I was just sooooo excited to see you! I mean, I've been waiting for it for like, eight chapters now." She said, moving off of Vinyl to allow her to get up.
Vinyl raised herself back up, and looked at Pinkie. "What are you talking about? Chapters?"
Pinkie gave her a quizzical look. "What do you mean, Scratchie?"
"You said you were waiting through chapters to see me. Chapters of what?" Vinyl asked.
"I never said that. You're such a silly filly, Scratchie." Pinkie giggled. "So, how've you been? What brings you back to Ponyville? You haven't really been back here since Rarity's fashion thingy, which was SOOO much fun, until Rarity got all sad and became a hermit for a few days, but she's all better now."
Vinyl blinked a few times, and shook her head. "Uh...me and Octy are on our way to Hoofington to go see her parents."
Pinkie then rounded on Octavia, circling her and examining her, locking her blue eyes on Octavia and ONLY Octavia.
"Um...is...there something I can help you with?" Octavia said, feeling somewhat awkward towards the pink pony who was now looking at her like some sort of display object.
Pinkie whistled. "She's cute, Scratchie! She your maaaarefriend? Is she? Is she? Is she is she is she?!" Pinkie giggled, nudging Vinyl's shoulder repeatedly.
"Actually, yeah, she is. We're on our way to Hoofington to tell Octy's parents that we're gonna have a foal-"
Vinyl was silenced by a hoof to the mouth. Pinkie turned her head, her eyes so wide that the blue rims were no longer visible. There was a low, rumbling sound as Pinkie began to shake violently. Octavia took a few steps back, not sure of what to expect.
"OMYGOSH!" She yelled so loudly that Vinyl's mane was blown back slightly, immediately returning to its normal frizzy state a moment later. "WE HAVE TO THROW A PARTY! I CAN'T BELIEVE MY FRIEND SCRATCHIE IS GOING TO BE A MOMMY!" Pinkie yelled. "Cake. LOTS AND LOTS OF CAKE! Blue and pink streamers, CONFETTI! Decorations, BALLOONS" She rambled, unable to control herself at the exciting news.
"Uh, Pinkie, just relax-" Vinyl started, only to be silenced again.
"Relax!? RELAX!? How can I relax when you're HAVING A BABY?! We NEED to celebrate! When are you two leaving?" Pinkie asked, her focus now trained directly on Octavia.
"Um...sometime tomorrow, I suppose." She responded, wincing slightly as she waited for the next outburst.
"PERFECT! I'll have an AMAZING party set up by tomorrow! Now go on and get so I can start working on stuff!" She said, pushing the pair towards the door.
"Wait, Pinkie wait! Is it alright if we bum with you for tonight?" Vinyl asked.
Pinkie stopped to ponder the question. "Bum? What's that mean?" She tilted her head, bringing a hoof to her chin.
"I told you that that is not how you use that word." Octavia said, proud of herself.
"You're still old-fashioned and it won't stop me from picking on you." Vinyl said with a smirk.
"If you do not have room, Pinkie, is there anywhere else we might be able to stay?" Octavia asked.
"I'm not really sure about that, but you can definitely bum here with me!" Pinkie said cheerily.
For the first time since the two had met, they actually face-hoofed in unison. They looked at Pinkie, who was happily staring back at them.
"So we can stay here tonight?" Vinyl asked.
"Yup! You can take the room across from mine! It's just up the stairs! I gotta go fix it up, though. I was using it as Gummy's room for a little while, and we all know how crazy he can get!"
"Gummy?" Octavia asked, confused.
"Pinkie's got a pet alligator named Gummy." Vinyl said. "I met the little tyke last time I was in town. Cute little guy."
Octavia slowly inched towards the door. If there was one thing that she could NOT handle, it was anything reptilian.
"Relax, Octy. He's toothless- he can't hurt anypony even if he wanted to." Vinyl reassured. Regardless, Octavia still wanted NO PART of Gummy whatsoever.
"...I think I will go wait outside..." Octavia mumbled, quickly exiting the shop.
Vinyl sighed and shook her head. "She's afraid of anything that could bite at her ankles, and sorry to say, Gummy's one of them. She'll come around though."
"No problem! Gummy will be sleeping with me tonight so you two can use his room, isn't that right Gummy-wummy?" She said, turning her head slightly to show the purple-eyed gator latched onto her mane. The only response Vinyl received, if one could call it a response, was Gummy's eyes blinking independently of one another.
"...Riiiight. Well, we'll be back in a bit." Vinyl said as she turned to leave.
"Okie-dokie-lokie!" Pinkie said, hurrying off upstairs to fix up both the room and begin preparations for the bash.
Vinyl found Octavia sitting on a bench nearby, looking none too happy.
"You decided on having us stay on a place with an ALLIGATOR in it, even though you KNEW I was afraid of reptiles?!" She said, her voice coated with anger.
"Look, I'm sorry Octy. Besides, Gummy is going to be staying in Pinkie's room, so he won't be able to pull anything, alright?" Vinyl pleaded. "I really am sorry. I'd completely forgotten Pinkie had Gummy, so I thought it'd be alright."
Octavia sighed. She couldn't really stay mad at Vinyl. Her apology seemed sincere enough.
"Fair enough...so, what shall we do while we wait for Pinkie to prepare our room?" Octavia asked.
Vinyl thought about it, and a very fond and familiar memory came to mind. "I know. C'mon, follow me!" Vinyl said, breaking out into a gallop. Octavia blinked, slightly confused, but decided to follow regardless.
The two exited the main part of town, and came upon a small hill with a sign posted at the top that said "Firefly Fields" in black paint. Vinyl smiled, recalling the first time she had been here.
"Octy, I know you're gonna love this." She said, leading Octavia over the hill and into a rather large clearing surrounded by thick trees.
"I do not see what is so amazing about this, Vinyl...it is just a clearing." She said, unimpressed.
"Wait for it." She said, watching the sun disappear beyond the horizon. The moment the last ray of light disappeared, it began.
Nightingales that had just woken up from their day-time slumber began to join others as they began to sing, all trilling a simple melody, fireflies beginning to wink to life amongst the tall glass of the clearing, in complete sync with the nightingales.
"C'mon Octy!" Vinyl said, rushing past her into the tall grass, the fireflies scattering away from her, continuing to blink in unison with the melody. Octavia blinked as a small one flew up to her and perched itself on the tip of her nose. She surprised it with a small sneeze, the firefly moving away to rejoin the group.
"...Oh, alright!" She said, joining Vinyl amongst the fireflies. The two played amongst the grass, much like they would if they were younger. A new feeling began to well within Octavia...she was having the time of her life simply playing with Vinyl, leaving all her cares behind back in Canterlot. For this time, she was being herself with the love of her life, and she would not allow herself to miss out on making such a beautiful memory with her.
The two continued to play with one another, making a game out of trying to catch the fireflies; they would move out of the way in just enough time to allow themselves to escape. Octavia laughed when Vinyl ended up on her back.
"Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try!" Vinyl challenged.
"Fair enough." Octavia reared back, and launched herself up into a particularly thick group of fireflies, who avoided her completely. Vinyl fell over laughing when she saw Octavia end up on the ground with nothing.
"It is not that funny!" She said, getting back up.
"Of course it is! Besides, I have another fun game in mind." Vinyl said raising an eyebrow with a mischievous smirk. She quickly reached forward, and yanked off Octavia's bow.
"Wha- Vinyl! Give that back!" She said.
"Yer gnna hafta takth it bacth!" She said, dashing off into the grass.
"Oh, it is ON!" Octavia smiled, chasing after her. The two rushed through the grass, Octavia hot on Vinyl's hooves. The unicorn was fast, but Octavia's rear legs were stronger from having forced them to support her own weight as well as the weight of her cello for hours on end. She closed the distance, and gently nipped on Vinyl's tail, causing her to tumble. Octavia tumbled over her, the two landing in a heap.
Octavia leaned downward, and took her bow back from Vinyl. "Looks like I win." She winked.
"Yeah, yeah, you won this round." She chuckled. When the two took to their hooves, they looked around and saw a small hill. They proceeded to climb it, and were completely awestruck by the view.
The hill gave them a beautiful view of Luna's night sky, the moon hanging almost picturesque in the distance. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, the Weather Patrol having done an excellent job of keeping the rain away when it wasn't needed. The two sat side by side, simply staring out at the stars, the nightingales continuing to sing their song as a few fireflies buzzed past them, mixing in with the sky above them.
"This...is absolutely breath-taking..." Octavia said softly.
"Amazing..." Vinyl said. To Vinyl's surprise, Octavia scooted a little closer to her, and rested her head against her neck, a soft smile with a bright blush outlining her face. Vinyl blushed and started to speak, but decided against it, simply leaning her head on Octavia's. This was one moment she did not want to ruin.
The two sat in silence, enjoying each other's presence, simply watching the fireflies mingle with the stars.
Romance~~~
"I've been waiting for it for like, eight chapters now."
oh pinkie pie, breaking the forth wall again
I baaaawww'd so hard this time... Awesome :)
I'm totally surprised Octavia didn't recognize Pinky from the Gala. I would have thought being made to play the Pony Pokey, being grabbed from behind and made to play faster followed by being knocked over by said Pink pony would be stuck in anyone's memory.
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I'm pretty sure EVERYPONY INVOLVED (aside from the mane cast and Celestia) would rather forget that horrible night, Octavia included.
the Ending was really sweet and romantic. great job.
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Can't wait for more you are simply wonderful
Wait.... Spike is a Dragon, and Dragons are reptilian-ish
I promised myself I wouldn't.......D'AAAAAWWWWWW
And looks like Pinkie broke the fourth wall again...
I just read through all of the chapters in one go. I liked it. It wasn't the best thing I had ever read, but it was an excellent way to kill a few hours. The story itself is quite solid, though more age description could have helped at the staccato homestead. You made me laugh, you made me pretend cry, you even made me do the other kind of laugh when it isn't aimed at something funny. I also squeed a few times. Every song choice until this one was perfect. This latest one is a bit too overused for me (sorry) and there is a pony version already. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxoGmVjAsmE&NR=1 Your pinkie pie was 90% accurate which is over twice as accurate as most people. Keep up the work and I will be back.
Fantastic chapter! I really enjoyed it. Solid 5 star writing.
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thought the same.
I REALLY had to read the Pinkie Part in her Voice, it was unavoidable.
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Don't you mean 'Daaaaaaw'd' ;)
Please tell me im not the only one who thinks gummy is a boss?
So this is before the Gala then?
Very nice ending scene. Much daww.
oh pinkie, your so random
also, i thought you would have pinkie and octavia be sisters, as they are in some fics, but it is nice to see her reactions to pinkie
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Also a possibility, wold maybe explain why they played the Pony Pokey in the first place.
"I've been waiting for it for like, eight chapters now." hahahhahaha brilleant
I went ahead and switched the music out for something AMAZING, seeing as not everyone enjoys Fireflies.
I think it's an EXCELLENT substitution.
Wait... So the original song to play during the scene WAS supposed to be FIreflies?! GAH! Trevor is VERY dissapoint! It's the PERFECT song to play during that! Trevor was SO disappointed that he wasn't linked to Fireflies! Way to give into peer pressure... (Not that Trevor didn't enjoy the song, it's just... Fireflies is so much better IMO.)
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
haha sweet chapter yet again. as always keep up the good work. Also glad it wasn't fireflies. I would hate that song if it wasn't for love and tolerance.
Amazing story
And adding a song of Antoine Dufour, an awesome guitarist from my country, it's even better!
another great chapter
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I get what you mean, Trevs. I LOVE Fireflies personally, but after listening to it in conjunction with the reading, the pickup for the chorus didn't quite fit with the rest of it. I think the new song is actually quite appropriate for the mood.
Oh dear luna the 4th wall!! The 4th wall is FAILING
I personally thought the new song was a wonderful addition. I could just see the song playing in the background of the animation, giving the scene a wholly tranquil and romantic feeling.
I changed the music back. I just cannot envision this scene without Fireflies. I'm sorry if you do not like the song, but this is just the way I had the scene play out. That's why the link is hidden somewhat. You don't have to listen to the music if you do not want to, but I feel that the song reinforces the scene. Again, entirely optional!
Oh you and your fourth wall and the strange abilities you have.
Aw thats just cute
DIABETESHNNNNNNNGGGG
we need moar...
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curiousity asks me to beg to for the music so that I may have a ganderous listen to it.. maybe I be so enlightened to have a listenÉ
Amazing as always. And Loved the fourth wall breaking!!! Bravo!
And this is why I love _,.-=Shipping=-.,_
I was expecting pinkie to have a pinkie sense for pregnancy :P
2 chapters in one night
FOS DO D'AAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!
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You wana try and stop her? Good luck.
I am AMAZED by the writing... It makes you imagine every little detail of what happens because your descriptive imagery is so great. Please keep writing fanfics you've got some great talent!
Favorited and five stared. I love this fic. I'm new to fan fiction but of the ones that I have read, THIS is by far my favorite! And I think the Fireflies song was perfect for that scene.
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Celestia help us when that happens...
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LOLWUT=cyan][/color74476
must say this story is not as good as this site gives it credit for so far, being so long in chapters and with such a dedicated audience. not that it's awful, you are competent and keep pushing at it, but some of the characterization and pacing choices are outlandish in a way that is not very consistent. i realize at this point that i'm too late to try and help make this story something it isn't, but if you want to go on and use these characters in the future, i might be popping in with some commentary on how you can improve.
note that despite my scorn, i do keep reading, despite some of the content being as iffy as these fanfics go without being outright awful, so know that i am doing my best to be fair. With this amount of effort you must be dedicated to the concept--even if your execution leaves something to be desired.
as i figure i'll be delivering a few more of these comments as i get farther into the story, organically, i'll try to be brief and let some of the erratic swell of my distaste reflect how whichever part i am discussing act as its own focal point.
in other words, if i haven't commented on the chapter, it's because i haven't read enough bad to get me upset, nor good to get me enticed.
that being said explains why i begin my rebukes on chapter 14. i just can't keep going without saying something. if that makes me seem like a jerk, i do apologize.
As to particulars in the story so far:
while octavia is a firmly grounded love-to-hate orderly, vinyl scratch continues to be completely ignoble--she's "too cool". Her facade is of schoolyard popularity and poise, with just the right level of cool to convey absolutely none of it. i could call this "the reverse fonzie". Her attitude is a caricature of someone unaware that their actions are actually NOT suave and moving.
"hey douchebag" somepony might say upon reading this "that's part of her characterization! vinyl scratch is a dj who gives no fucks to the world!" well to that i say that cool is much harder to write than it looks, and that simply being your own pony in a world rough and tumble does not excuse you from being completely flat as far as characterization goes.
simply put, as much exposition is pushed onto the audience as it has been (reminder, thus far, i'm not deep into this monster yet), Vinyl's characterization is shockingly awful and adolescent. She's a wild mare who left her stodgy parents to go live her dreams! Except her mother is understanding and her father caves in after one argument.
I'll be honest, I completely skipped the passages in the previous chapters marked "FLASHBACK", as if we couldn't figure it out with the shift in characters and tone. Why? Because the pacing choice was outrageous. We learned about her parents after the big confrontation. Any exposition we get here becomes retroactive continuity. There are no stakes in knowing how her parents got together. The knowledge is useless! We've left them, they are characters without goals and thus no grounding emotional tension.
I'm not being unfair here: if it comes back up that the backstory to her parents is relevant to the characters when they likely come back into focus at some point later in the story, i can see the backstory being put to use, but until then, it's this huge disjointed block of exposition that can only be applied to the characters we have already seen reacting in fairly predictable ways.
And since the backstory of her parents is unimportant, the conflict between Vinyl and her parents is unimportant, and the development from child to adult is unimportant, and so her attitude and actions, as terrible and sophomoric and "cool" how a pre-teen might look up to a teen, remain awful!
Weirdly though, I don't fault you for it, dear author, because every single person seems to do this. I have not yet seen a single characterization for Vinyl Scratch that is not infuriating. No one wants to do anything but make her "cool", because she's a DJ.
The basis of the relationship between Octavia and Vinyl is that they can presumably find each other between the distance of their natural understanding of one another through music and emotion, but Octavia's character, which I grant is the best developed in the story, only becomes that way because she has to carry the whole story on her ability to find her way through Vinyl's terrible personality to the good pony underneath it all.
Magical conception? interesting. Discussing loud lesbian pony sex? boring. Octavia? interesting. Vinyl Scratch? boring. The father being angry at lesbian ponies? interesting. one single emotional outburst solves this issue completely? not just boring: astounding! when he got angry? when octavia got Super Combo Counter Angry? excellent! but then he just immediately is pussy-whipped NEXT CHAPTER? good gravy, where is the intensity? gone and dead and waiting to come back until the mention of going to ponyville so we have something aside from the birth itself with which to look forward. seriously, we know we're not getting to the birth for a while with the indications from the previous chapters, so why would you just wham bam thank you ma'am the single best mark of development for literally all the principle cast? YEESH.
for every little choice of build-up that pertains to Octavia, Vinyl tears it down, and not in an endearing way. Nope, not until Octavia muddles through the circumstances, dragging vinyl AND THE AUDIENCE along with her. She's a good protagonist, no lie. Vinyl is bad. Octavia is good. Vinyl bad.
It's pretty fascinating how this story maintains the dichotomy. You very adeptly use musical choices. the hypertext blue words are great visual indicators! it's a genuinely clever little device. When did you use it well? Octavia playing with Vinyl Scratch's father. When was it cheap? The scene of fireflies. You say you can't envision it without it. Okay, but the positioning could have been improved. Stretch the build-up to the actual placement of the music. At least the early bit with Deadmau5 was not outright awful--if a bit tawdry, to make sure we know that we're dealing with The Odd Couple.
Octavia's maturity as a theme is not necessarily impossible to convey through Vinyl Scratch. She is not inherently a bad character. But you, like so many, focus on making her cool before making her competent. She can be competent and then as a consequence, she can be cool, even in that harsh and fast way that the techno raver longs to be.
I'm not going to be unfair. I'll keep reading. Maybe you'll surprise me, and suddenly Vinyl's behavior will be explored in a way I hadn't thought of before whichever chapter in which it happens. Maybe Twilight's involvement will give us some goals to chase before heading off to Octavia's parents. I'm not abandoning your story. It's not bad, even if Vinyl Scratch irritates me to no end.
I just had to get that off my chest. I'll report back in whenever something really good strikes me, or until I've read too one too many "haha vinyl you just get under octavia's skin, but you love her! CHARACTERIZATION!" moments again.
I like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather
Stay awake when I'm asleep
'cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep
I have 1 more day before my Oblivion character becomes a vampire. And I am looking forward to the challenge. So I am passing time reading this, and I am enjoying every. single. BIT!
14 down, 47 to go. This story is buckmazing
I've hardly made a dent in the chapters I have left to read, but I'm excited that I have something to read because for the past two weeks I've been at the mercy of how much my authors write so this is a nice change of pace
Cool story bro, I might even put it in my top favs
"I like to make myself believe~
that planet earth~ turns slow-ly~...'
Glad you changed it back, even if I am slightly wondering what the other song would've sounded like.
oh well, there goes the 4th wall again.. damnit pinkie
oh my god how many times will i have 2 go 2 the hospital today( heart attack falls on floor....again)
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SO...MUCH...D'AWWWWW!
And Pinkie is breaking the fourth wall again? FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-