Could use a bit more to tie the story together.  I feel lost in all the text.

Too long, didn't read.

I think this could besplit into at least three different chapters. There is just to much going on in it right now.

TL;DR

Sorry, but Trevor just got lost with everything that's going on in this chapter. You REALLY need to slow things down. Right now, this chapter is just... REALLY confusing! Still, Trevor is willing to try to muddle through and understand by reading the next chapter...

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

i got lost so many words ARRGGAHH

The Game. We have all lost it. Well played sir.

What prose! What excellence in literature! Instant five stars! All my bits! I eagerly await the next installment!

insert joke about the chapter having too many words

sorry, your first chapter is in another castle.

TL;DR

FINALLY!  I thought I'd never finish this chapter!  Maybe you should make them a little shorter.  Just a thought.

My eyes are numb from all that... so much reading.

Best chapter ever! Epic Winning

>>2334923349 FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I didnt get it the first time I read it because there was so much going on in the story. so i read it 5 more times which took a couple house because its so long. Then i finaly understood it and realized ... i lost the game.

excellent writing, 5/5. took me forever, but I finally finished that chapter! You should break it up.

This is WAY to long, I think it'll take me weeks to get through it!

by Celestia´s beard, it´s to long!

you problably should make a summary so we don´t have to read all that.

This is not a real chapter, and you people in the comments making jikes are preatty funny, ha ha! I did not play along :D

>>3276632766

I'm surprised it took so long for someone to break the pattern

>>3369433694 That's because everypony loves to make a joke! Well, aside from the parasprite that is.

I had wondered why this story popped up on the front page EVERY NIGHT. Then I saw word count for the chapters. Welp, I guess I better get reading.

Took me three days to finish please split it up into 50 chapters.

>>3863938639 Pfffft. This is light reading for me. I read three of Kkat's chapters in less than 2 hours. I eat this shit* for breakfast!

*note that the one who wrote this comment did not mean this as an insult, but as a joke.

Also, I gotta say that that chapter was a bit... cluttered. Split the paragraphs down, and those who can't breeze through "Great Expectations" in 2 hours like me might have an easier time reading it.

Honestly, what is with the horrible formatting. You make a bloody smorgasbord of words then you don't format it properly?

My eyes are bleeding from all the run-on sentences.

(Yay! I got to use smorgasbord in a sentence, I have been lookign for a place to put that word in a sentence forever!)

>>3945239452 I frickin' LOVE that word ...smorgasbord. Smörgåsbord. SMÖRGÅSBORD!

If only Lithe Kamitatsy had been able to work it into this chapter somehow I might have finished reading it.

Didnt read lol *does a silly dance*

Sorry dude, i just couldnt grasp my mind around it. So much detail.

MOAR!!!!

FIRST!!!!

Oh wait...

FIRST!!!!

Oh wait...

>>3863938639 You're in luck, it's been split into 50 chapters now!

brilliant.

I liked this chapter alot! Especially the bit were-

Conscience: Get a hold of yourself! Your going crazy and mental and stupid GLUHYVAN!

to long skip it

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

hahaha last.........wait

HA these comments are all so funny because there was nothing there,

well played everyone, well played

It's day 34, and I am still reading capter 1.

I'm running out of supplies. I can't leave, the story is too addictive.

The detail was outstanding! The way each letter carefully explained a story and how each second I read, I could feel the tension rise every word that my eyes saw and the ending... my lord. It rivals the whole movie AVATAR for possibly the best writing. Afterwards the story made me question my own morals. I simply cannot wait for the extended version

I'm new to this story and wth

this chapter has intentionally been left blank

Hmmm.... This chapter was good, but I can't shake the feeling that it needs more ponies. =3

>>298178298178 I just managed to read your name. And let me say, sir

Image: http://thecpl.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/dude-wtf2.jpg

Hmm...Seems like a good start to the story!

>>553334553334  Yeah, the name is part italian and part norwegian. (even tough no norwegian will probably understand it since it's based on a joke)

Ornitorinco is platypus

Would it be valid to favorite the story for the comments on the first chapter alone? No? Fine I guess i will read the story then. (hopefully it will be less wordy than the first chapter........sorry had to say it)

Argh! Too many words! Heck, this could be the story itself!

This is just too beautiful for words! Your literary genius has brought tears of joy to my eyes. Well done, good sir or madam. Take my faves, take all of them!

>>3060330603

But she had no beard!

we lost many good bronys to this mountain let us remember them with the next... chapter

this is THE BEST BUCKING STORY EVER

Jk,XD

>>3060330603

Image: http://static.fjcdn.com/large/pictures/a7/8f/a78fa4_2337236.jpg

I feel lied to. also betrayed.

I absolutely love this piece of cover art!  That being said, I'm a little confused as to why you would choose a picture of a white mare in a wedding gown eating vanilla ice cream with a white plastic spoon in the middle of a snowstorm.

That was the most bucking awesome chapter ever. But it has like 5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 words! They should have a word limit for chapters like this.

Anybody else notice it lists the chapter as 15 words but there is only 7?

guys i found his log will writing

"day 44 I don't know what these story has become, I don't even think most novels are  filled with so much drama"

I love the part where confessed her love to

We've got a troll in our midst.....

>>11787581178758Most indubitably.

…

I've always wanted to use that

Ok, I just got to know; what was the point of this 'chapter'?

>>899709899709

was just about to point that out!

This is the worst chapter ever, it's formating is all fucked up, the story line is awful, and it's terribly written.

Man, it took me like six hours to read all of this chapter. I am . Guess I'd better rest up before I read the other chapters. Onward!!!

This is modern Shakespere right here!!

THIS IS NOT THE REAL FIRST CHAPTER

It's literary genius!!!

Am I the only one enjoying the comments?

>>21982522198252 Nopie Dopie :D

I went to read this story last night, and got lost laughing at the comments for the (NOT) first chapter

i find it funny before i opened this it said there was 15 words i only counted 7 so ?????

I really disliked this, the graphics are easily 2009 standard and the storyline is ridiculous, seriously who ends the franchise with aliens fixing everything?

*reads how many words* 15!!!!!!!! *kills himself*

chapter 1 you troll....

So beautiful I openly weeped.

THIS CHAPTER IS AWESOME!!!