Long Game

Source

I know you'll win this time, Cadance. I don't really care. I don't even care what happens to my pet Chrysalis. You see, I'm just in this round for kicks. I play a long, long game.

And in the end, you lose.
(Tilt your screen for a surprise)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 14 )

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Jonathon Smythe

Jonathon Smythe #1 · Jul 25th, 2014 · 2 · ·

Liked just for the sneaky description. I'll read the story later.

(Looks at Read Later, sees 114 stories.)

...It might be a while.

Skeeter The Lurker

Skeeter The Lurker #2 · Jul 25th, 2014 · · ·

You and your damn gimmicks.

Still, nice dialogue only story here.

Very fitting and awesome.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Lord Of Dorkness

Lord Of Dorkness #3 · Jul 25th, 2014 · 3 · ·

There's a good story somewhere in here, but as is? It's like reading a post-script of a role-play session from a Mormon couple so sheltered they think just saying 'And I hit you with my whip! Hard!' constitutes hardcore BDSM.

Amusing, but I got that wasn't the intended vibe.

I realize you seem to be going for a rather minimalist approach slash an experiment, for the whole thing... but would a single description really have been too much?

_Mintz_

_Mintz_ #4 · Jul 25th, 2014 · · ·

Did you get darkness my old friend from that one song (can't remember what it is)

Ezylryb123

Ezylryb123 #5 · Jul 25th, 2014 · · ·

Genius along the lines of White Space with the description, my friend. The story was... interesting, to say the least. keep up the good work

Super Trampoline

Super Trampoline #6 · Jul 25th, 2014 · 1 · ·

4751008 thanks for the honest feedback. I was trying to get something raw by just writing what came to me, but based on your and other's feedback, it sounds like I missed almost as much as I hit. Have a great day!

Super Trampoline

Super Trampoline #7 · Jul 25th, 2014 · · ·

4751100 "Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkle.

Yamazaki

Yamazaki #8 · Jul 26th, 2014 · · ·

Turns out I was tilting my screen the wrong way...

twilightsparkle3562

twilightsparkle3562 #9 · Jul 26th, 2014 · · ·

Very nice twist on using Simon and Garfunkel's opening lyric for the chapter title. Again, my only critique is to give your characters action in between their dialogue. However, after reading your author's note at the end, I'll give you a free pass.

Officer Hotpants

Officer Hotpants #10 · Jul 28th, 2014 · 3 · ·

4750360
Only 114? Oh, I see -- your list somehow got deleted. You have my sympathy.

Jonathon Smythe

Jonathon Smythe #11 · Aug 6th, 2014 · · ·

I like it. Having the Nightmare take over Chrysalis is interesting, and it might explain why the changelings, a secretive race, decided to try a full-on assault. Very intriguing.

Super Trampoline

Super Trampoline #12 · Aug 6th, 2014 · · ·

4809386 glad you appreciated it and the theory behind it.

PegaSista101

PegaSista101 #13 · May 28th, 2015 · · ·

First of all, wow this is dark. Poor Cadance... Second of all, on the summary it said 'Tilt your screen for a surprise.'. I obliged...and I didn't see anything but the story's cover image. Was that supposed to be the surprise? (EDIT: I clicked on the cover image. Freaky. )