My Little One-Shots

by Kieva Lynn

Life With Scootaloo

An Exerpt from the diary of Brian Dashell.

As knowledge of the existence of Equestria has now become common, it occurs to me that my records might someday be read by others, human and pony alike. Given that, I've decided that it's time to resume recording, especially with Scootaloo now living under my roof.

I expect that the first question anyone (or anypony) who has seen the cartoon will ask is, "just how bad were the Crusaders anyway? Surely the show was making them look bad." Well hypothetical reader, let me assure you that the last few months have taught me that, if anything, the show underplayed the fillies' catastrophic nature. Don't believe me? Okay, let me tell you about just the past week:

Monday: Scootaloo returns home from school coated in what I estimated to he her own body weight in tree sap, honey, tar, feathers, and sardines. When questioned, she would say only "Never prank a Griphon who's dating a Minotaur."

Tuesday: Scoots returns home early, with all of her hair, mane, tail, coat, everything shaved clean off. She is accompanied by two official looking ponies who are apologetic, but insist it was the only way to "Make sure we got all the radiation." I didn't ask. At least Twilight was able to magically regrow the hair that evening...

Wednesday: Tries to get a scale modeling cutie mark by constructing a ship in a bottle. Ends up trapped in the bottle herself. Oddly, the ship was built flawlessly.

Thursday: Imaginary friend 'Timmy' turns out to be a Spawn of Cthulu. Epic battle between it and the Elements of Harmony in my own back yard.

Friday: Purchases "Magical Mexicanter Jumping Beans" from Flim and Flam, apparently on their assurance that they would help her fly. They don't, of course, but they DO jump. A lot. We still haven't caught all of the ones that got away.

Saturday: Cutie Mark Crusader sleepover ("Yay!!!"). Things unusually calm until they start flipping channels and stumble across 'Tremors.' It took four hours to get them down off the roof.

Sunday: As I write this, one of the jumping Beans has germinated, resulting in a mile high beanstalk in the yard. Dashie flew up after the girls who immediately started climbing, with a shout of " Cutie Mark Crusaders Giant Slayers!"

So as you can see, together or alone, those fillies are a menace. And yet, all i have to do is think back to that night last month, when Scoots called me Dad as I tucked her in... I wouldn't trade this for anything. Now if you'll excuse me, I see the girls and Dashie headed down the beanstalk. Guess I'd better go chop it down before the giant follows them...

Comments

[Ron Jeremy Pony]

Applebloom: Stampeed Scootaloo Stampeed! Get out of the way!

Scootaloo: Seriously, Applebloom, that's getting really old. Besides Dad said that movie is fake anyway.

Sweetie Belle: did the floor move?

Scootaloo: DAD!!!!!