DUN DUN DUUUUN
MondaySymph's Episode Review #2 7 comments · 48 views
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As soon as Discord had opened the door, a cupcake flew past his face and crashed into the wall beside him. He gulped and wondered what he had gotten himself into, but there was no backing out now. He approached the counter where a cyan earth pony mare with a red and pink mane was peeking into the kitchen with a look of absolute terror on her face. There was a horrible ruckus coming from the kitchen and a loud crash and what sounded like a chainsaw followed. The mare by the desk cringed and looked away and noticed him.
’’Oh hello dearie, sorry about the noise. Our employee Pinkie Pie is trying out a new recipe she thought of yesterday.’’ She said in a cheery tone and smiled.
’‘With... Chainsaws?’’ He said slowly with a hint of confusion.
’‘Don’t. Ask.’’ She said in a stern tone that almost made him stand at attention. She softened up after a while. ’‘Now, what can get for you today? I haven’t seen you in town befo-’’ Another loud crash rocked the building, but this time a pink rocket shot out from the kitchen.
’‘YOUHAVEN’TSEENWHOHEREBEFOREOHMYGOSHWHOISIT?!’’ The pink rocket, now that he could see, was Pinkie Pie standing by the mare and bouncing manically. A painfully large grin spread across her face. He had to wonder how it was possible for anypony to smile that wide. He felt like he had to run for his life, and for the last remnants of his sanity. But before Discord could react, it was too late. ‘OHHH HI, MY NAME IS PINKIE PIE AND I HAVEN’TSEENYOUINTOWNBEFORESOTHATMUSTBETHATYOU’REKNEWANDIKNOWEVERYPONYINTOWNOHANDIALSOKNOWSOMEDONKEYSANDTHAT’SAFUNNYSTORYYOUSE- A light blue hoof stopped the hyper pony’s rambling. Discord silently thanked the chubby mare for doing so.
’‘Now Pinkie, what have I told you about randomly shouting at strangers?’’ She asked Pinkie in a motherly tone as she removed the hoof from her mouth.
’’To not do it...’’ Pinkie sighed.
’‘Good. Now you can keep talking, just don’t get too excited, okay?’’ She looked straight into the party pony’s eyes.
’‘Okay!’’ Pinkie chirped as she started bouncing around the room, momentarily forgetting about Discord. She suddenly stopped in mid-air and dropped to the ground. She then turned to Discord and bounced around him in a circle. ’’Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! But I already said that and I haven’t asked for your name yet, and that’s rude but I’m actually not rude so what ’s your name?’’ She stopped right in front of him and grinned at him. He mentally facehoofed for not thinking of a new name. He started thinking frantically for a new name.
He couldn’t use Discord, Chaos would be too obvious. He closed his eyes and thought for a while. Spirit... Spirit would be a good name... Now what was Spirit in ancient Equestrian? Pha.. Spiritus... Phasmatis, yes that was it. ’’My name is Phasmatis.’’ He simply said and thanked himself for being a quick thinker in moments like these.
’‘Phash-Matish...’’ Pinkie looked confused. A sheepish grin spread across her face. ’‘What was it again?’’
Discord sighed and rubbed a hoof to her forehead. ’’My name is Phasmatis. It means spirit in ancient Equestrian.’’
’‘OHHH...’’ Pinkie said as she nodded slightly. ’‘That’s a cool name...’’
’‘You don’t get it, do you?’’ Discord asked in a serious tone and his eyes half-closed.
’’No...’’ Pinkie said as she sat down.
A loud smack echoed through the town and made a few ponies stare at the Sugarcube Corner in confusion. Discord had facehoofed so hard that it made an audible smack.
’‘Sorry. It’s just that you have such a weird name, Phasmatis!’’ Discord was surprised that she actually got it right for once. She gasped that sounded like she had seen somepony steal candy from a little filly. Another creepily huge grin made its way across her face. Discord took a cautious step back from the display. ’’OH MY GOSH I SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE A WELCOME-TO-PONYVILLE-AND-SORRY-FOR-MESSING-UP-YOUR-NAME-THREE-TIMES-PARTY!’’ She squealed in anticipation. Discord had no idea how she managed to say that with just one breath. And a party could blow his cover very easily.
’’No Pinkie, please. No parties. I came here to calm down after a few very hard years. I’m very sensitive about such things.’’ He raised a hoof to her so she would calm down. He swore that he could hear glass shatter as her smile faded and it looked like her hair was about to deflate but she perked up almost instantly after.
’‘Oh well, but the same happened with a donkey that moved here a couple of years ago, but I got on his good side!’’ She bounced around the room again. ’’...Eventually.’’ She said so he wouldn’t hear.
’’I was only coming in here to buy a cupcake, so if you don’t mind.’’ He walked around the pink mini tornado and picked a cupcake from the counter. Mrs. Cake glanced back to Pinkie. She didn’t have a care in the world. As she gave him the cupcake Mrs. Cake mouthed ’‘Sorry’’. Discord just shaked his hoof dismissively and walked outside. He ate the cupcake in one big bite and trotted off, thanking higher deities that he was able to escape his sugar-filled doom.
’‘Any progress in finding anything about his whereabouts?’’ Celestia asked impatiently.
’’No ma’am.’’ A unicorn guard of higher ranks answered. ’’We’ve had no success in scrying him or any eyewitness reports. We haven’t been able to sense his energy anywhere in Equestria.’’ He said with a sigh.
‘‘This doesn’t make any sense!’’ Luna slammed her right hoof on the table.
’‘Dear sister, since when does Discord make sense?’’ Celestia asked her angry sister.
’’He never does, but it is so unlike him to leave without making a scene right after.’’ Luna tapped a hoof to her head. ’’I don’t like this at all..’’
’‘Neither do I, but we must keep a straight face. News of his escape would wreak chaos even if he hasn’t shown himself yet.’’ Luna said as she walked up to her sister and placed a comforting hoof on her arm.
’‘Right, keep searching. Report any findings to me immediately.’’ She said to the unicorn guard who simply nodded.
’‘Yes ma’am.’’ He dissappeared in a bright flash.
Discord was once again napping outside of town. He was lying next to a tree by the shadows. The calm of the town had made him sleepy again. This was much better than being a cold, hard statue not being able to stretch his legs. He was enyoing his new form very much and rolled onto his back. Sure, it was weird not being to grab things with his hands but levitating things was much more practical anyways. He could carry many more things that way. The cloak he’d made wasn’t that bad either. He opened his eyes slowly and sat up. He yawned as he rubbed his eyes and levitated an apple from his cloak. He noticed now that the aura around the apple was crimson. He shrugged and took a bite. The juices from the sweet fruit trickled down his cheek. He wiped it off with his hoof.
After he had eaten one apple he stood up and stretched his back. A soft squeal caught his attention, he looked to the left to see a butteryellow pegasus with a pink mane back away from him, fear stricken across her face. Discord immediately feared that his cover had been blown, but as the pegasus that he know reminded as Fluttershy, the element of kindness stood back up. She wasn’t scared, just nervous. He let out a sigh of relief.
’’My name is Phasmatis.’’ It felt weird to call himself by another name, but he had no choice. He recieved another squeal as an answer. He rolled his eyes, this was going to take a while.
Edited by frieD195