A/N: Edited version! Edited by frieD195.
’‘Buuut Luuuunaaa~’’ Discord whined and made a puppy-dog look at the lunar princess in front of him.
’’No buts, Discord.’’ Luna furrowed her brow in concentration.
’‘It’s too tiiight...’’ Discord pouted and splayed his ears back, while making his lower lip quiver.
’‘Discord, you are the Embodiment of Chaos and the Spirit of Disharmony. You are one of the few beings that shouldn’t whine.’’ Luna scolded.
’‘For being a Princess who preaches harmony and well-being for all creatures, you sure like torturing your coltfriend...’’ Discord huffed and frowned.
’’Oh please!’’ Luna exclaimed. ’‘This isn’t torture, this is a hobby of mine, so hold still!’’
’‘Fine...’’ Discord muttered.
’‘Good.’’ The princess of the night smirked. ’‘Besides, you do look so dainty and adorable now~’’ Luna cooed, making Discord’s wings rise much to his dismay.
A week had passed since the defeat of The Discordant Anarchy, and preperations for the annual Grand Galloping Gala were in full swing. Luna had decided to personally design and manufacture Discord’s suit and her dress. But with the ponykins that were in the castle being about Celestia’s size, they would rip the fabric of the clothes almost immediately. That’s why Luna had decided that Discord would do just fine as a ponykin, if he would stop whining, that is.
During the week that passed, Celestia had sent a troop of guards to the location where The Anarchy was obliterated to clean up the area, and answer some questions some civilians might have about the explosion that emanated from the Everfree. The guards dismissed it as being a training routine that went haywire. The public eye didn’t bother questioning their half-hearted explanation.
Discord was standing on a podium, occasionally groaning, squirming and pleading for Luna to release him from her very embarassing task. At the moment, Luna was making her own dress and of course, Discord was the one wearing it for the time being. The dress was midnight blue with a navy blue pattern. By the end of it, near the backhooves was a metallic blue trim.
Luna snickered as she added some frilly material around the neck area. Discord noticed her snickering and gasped.
’‘You do like making me look like a fool, don’t you?’’ The unamused spirit deadpanned.
’’Oh, what gave you that idea?’’ Luna lifted a hoof to her mouth to conceal her giggling.
The door was suddenly encased by a yellow aura and swung open. The Princess of the day walked inside with her eyes closed, oblivious to the now extremely embarassed spirit standing next to her little sister.
’‘Luna, I-’’ She opened her eyes to see Discord in a dress, while her sister was giggling and levitating a pin-cushion and other materials used for dress-making. Celestia stood there, staring at Discord wide-eyed while trying desperately to think of something to say.
’’Uh... ‘Sup?’’ Discord grinned sheepishly. Celestia turned around swiftly and walked out of the room, not uttering a single word while heading straight to her room, where she uncorked another bottle of wine and downed it. Discord glared at Luna, who was shuffling her hooves and acting innocent.
Discord sighed and started pulling the cloth that caused this situation to arise. Luna panicked slightly as she feared that the dress would be ripped. She focused her magic and lifted it off of him. Discord ruffled his wings and polished the necklace with his right hoof. ’’So, did you enjoy making me the laughing-stock of the entire castle?’’ Discord asked nonchalantly.
’’As a matter of fact; Yes, I did.’’ Luna smiled slyly. She walked closer towards him and lightly brushed her left wing across his chest. ’’I think you liked it too~’’
’‘Yeah, no.’’ Discord blew a stray strand of hair out of his face. Luna pouted.
’‘Party pooper...’’ Luna huffed.
’‘What do you think I plan to do at the Gala?’’ Discord smirked while Luna gasped.
’’Oh, don’t you dare...’’ Luna narrowed her eyes.
’’Oh, I dare.’’ Discord started walking towards the door. ’‘And I will have my own fun there. Believe me.’’
’’I do believe that you will go through with this, and that is exactly what is bothering me.’’ Luna picked up the materials she had used and placed them in her closet. Discord walked up to her and nuzzled her.
’‘Come on, Lu...’’ Discord leaned to her ear and whispered to her. ’’...I know you’ll like it...’’ Luna blushed and turned away from him, making Discord chuckle at her behaviour. ’’I know first hoof that you’re really not this shy.
’’I know first hoof that you’re a sissy in some situations.’’ Luna retorted and had to hold back a laugh as Discord visibly cringed from her revelation.
’’I do not care about what you say; spiders are scary little buggers...’’ Discord shivered at the thought of his earlier encounter with that spider. Luna snickered at him. Discord pouted again.
’‘Come here, you.’’ Luna beckoned for him to come closer. Discord looked away from her, pretending to be uninterested in her shenanigans. She whistled once. Discord sighed and rolled his eyes while turning his head towards her.
Discord’s jaw dropped as soon as he laid his eyes on Luna. She was on her back on the podium where Discord had been standing, giving Discord her best ‘come hither’ look. Discord gulped as his wings snapped open rather embarassingly and his legs started moving towards her on their own free will.
Yet again, none of them noticed a servant standing by the door. The servant facehoofed, groaned and closed the door.
’‘Like bunnies...’’ The servant grumbled as she trotted to her next task.
In Ponyville, ponies were minding their own businesses. Everypony had tasks that needed to be fulfilled, but, as usual, there were ponies who decided to do nothing, rather than completing their tasks. Rainbow Dash was an example; She was supposed to be clearing the sky of stray clouds, instead of sleeping on them. But everypony knew just how efficient the rainbow-maned pegasus mare could be when the situation called for it.
Down on the ground, Sweet Apple Acres to be exact, a gargantuan red pony was pulling a massive iron plow through the fields, followed by his youngest sister. He was one of the more sought-after stallions in Ponyville by the mares, but sadly, he was painfully oblivious to the mare’s romantic invitations. Besides his granny and his sisters, he only had his eyes on one pony; the Ponyville librarian, Twilight Sparkle.
Big Macntosh grunted from the strain of pulling the wood-and-steel contraption hooked to his thrustworthy yoke. Only a few feet left and he would have completed his work for the day.
His sister didn’t allow him to work in the orchard bucking trees with her after he accidentally destroyed five trees in a row. He couldn’t control his strength well enough to be able to buck the trees properly; so Applejack had ordered him to pull the plow, the carts into town and just being the muscle of the farm.
With another strained grunt, his work for the day was finished and he could now move onto doing other things. He un-hitched himself from the plow, rolled his shoulders and started walking back to the farmhouse to clean up.
’‘Where are yah goin’, big brother?’’ Applebloom chirped as she bounced past him.
’‘Goin’ ta clean up an’ go into town.’’ Mac drawled.
’‘Into town? Again?’’ His little sister repeated.
’‘Eeyup.’’ He nodded firmly once.
’‘Will ya be back for supper?’’ Applebloom asked before she sprinted the last distance between her brother and the house.
After Mac had made himself presentable and had cleaned the dirt off his giant red frame, he headed towards Ponyville at a brisk pace. If he just got one glance of her, he’d be satisfied and return to the farm. With him being so shy, conversations were often very short and not much to brag about. But today? Macintosh was dead set on starting an actual conversation with the mare.
In town, Big Macintosh started walking in a slow pace, taking some time to get to the library so he wouldn’t seem to be desperate. Many of the mares he passed on his way to the library whistled when they saw him and were friendly, too friendly. But Big Macintosh was too oblivious to understand what they wanted from him.
It felt like a frog was in his throat when he saw the giant tree that had been hollowed out and turned into a library. With it being a public library, there was no need to knock, but he did it anyway. The soft clopping of hooves on the other side of the door bought his attention. He took a deep breath and straightened his yoke. A purple aura encased the door, who opened slowly to reveal the mare he expected to meet.
’’Oh, hello Big Macintosh!’’ Twilight chirped. Mac just stared at her, wide-eyed. She was just so beautiful. Her purple eyes were amazing.
’’Ah... Uh... Hi, Miss Twilight.’’ Mac cleared his throat.
’‘Did you need any help..?’’ Twilight arched an eyebrow.
’’Uh...’’ He glanced behind her momentarily to see the bookshelves. ’‘Books!’’ He exclaimed. ’’Ah mean... Ah wanted ta look at sum books.’’ He grinned sheepishly.
’‘Well... Okay, then! Come in!’’ Twilight moved out of the way, letting the titan of a pony enter. Big Mac walked in slowly, careful not to break anything. He walked up to a random bookshelf, looking at books he really didn’t care about. Twilight walked back to the desk where a book on advanced spells were lying. She glanced back at the farmpony who seemed to be genuinely confused. She bit her lip and turned away from him as soon as she saw him turning his head towards her.
Big Macintosh found himself staring at the petite mare, who was engrossed in a book in front of her. He turned away from her and looked in the opposite direction of where she was, while whistling a tune his father taught him when he was just a colt. Twilight took a deep breath, turned towards him and walked to the stallion.
’’Do you need any help?’’ Twilight asked. Mac jumped slightly when she talked to him, but he composed himself before he spoke up.
’‘Well... Ah was lookin’ for books ‘bout growin’ crops an’ such...’’ He admitted, his blush was hidden perfectly with his red coat.
’’In the section with books of magic and science?’’ Twilight questioned. ’‘Here, let me show you where the books you were looking for is.’’ Twilight nudged his shoulder and started walking towards a shelf close to were she had been reading. Mac shuddered at her touch and trudged behind her, not daring to look down at her when she was walking right in front of him.
’‘Thank ya kindly, Miss Twilight.’’ Mac nodded.
’‘Please, call me Twilight.’’ Twilight winked, making Macintosh stretch his neck involuntarily.
’‘Well... Okay then, Twilight.’’ The two ponies smiled and started looking at their respective books.
An awkward silence fell on the library, but Big Macintosh was satisfied that he had just talked to her more than he had ever done over the years he’d known her. Mac found a book on all different kinds of apples and where you can grow them. With him being an Apple, he already knew all of the things in that book.
’’Ah guess I’ll take this one...’’ He showed Twilight the book.
’‘Sure! Let me just check it.’’ Twilight grabbed the book with her magic, wrote down the title of the book on a parchment and levitated it onto his back.
’‘Thanks...’’ Big Macintosh shuffled his forehooves on the floor, while staring at them.
’’No problem, just remember to return it in a week, okay?’’ Twilight smiled.
’‘Sure...’’ Big Macintosh realised that he didn’t have a reason to see her for a week now, unless he would finish the book earlier. But with him being a slow reader, it wasn’t really imaginable. ’’Ah was just wonderin’ if...’’ Big Macintosh started breathing in a stressed pace.
’‘What?’’ Twilight noticed how stressed he was.
’’Ah just wondered if ya’d like to...-OH CELESTIA AH CAIN’T!’’ Big Macintosh charged through the open door while breathing heavily. Twilight just stared at the giant running down the street, partly confused but then a realization hit her.
’‘Big Macintosh likes me!’’ She squeaked in excitement, bouncing around in a circle. Finally, she bolted up the stairs into her room, where she was caught in a fit of giggles.
Down the street, just on the outskirts of Ponyville, Big Macintosh was trotting in a brisk pace, his ears splayed back. The blush on his face was visible through his coat. He was furious at himself for running off like he did.
’‘Smooth move, Mac... Smooth move...’’ He mocked himself. Almost all of the townsponies had witnessed him running down the street like he was being chased by Discord himself... Wait... Discord..? Applejack had explained to him that Discord had been turned into a pony by some strange magic and that he wasn’t able to use any of his freaky powers. She also said that Discord was with Princess Luna, who was a real looker. An idea washed over him.
’’If Ah can get hold of that Discord... maybe he could help me with winnin’ Miss Twilight!’’ Macintosh exclaimed. ’‘Ah’m a genius!’’ He ran the last bit to the Sweet Apple Acres, planning a way for him to talk to the Spirit of Disharmony.
In the Canterlot castle, a very sore spirit was walking through a corridor, heading straight for his room to rest. Discord was extremely tired, because of some... Gymnastics he had performed with Luna. As he walked around a corner, he heard some strange music coming from Celestia’s room. The beat of the music was upbeat, and he heard a slurred voice sing with the song from Celestia’s room. Discord snickered and walked to the door and opened it. His jaw dropped to what he witnessed.
Celestia was standing on her bed, while thrashing her head from side to side to the beat of the music. The only object from her regalia she was wearing was her crown. Six empty bottles of red wine was lying scattered on the floor next to the bed. An constant blush was plastered on her face.
Celestia was, in no uncertain terms, shit-faced and dancing on her bed.
That’s when Discord noticed the lyrics of what she was singing.
’’I’m too*hic*sexy for my crown’’ Celestia focused her magic and grabbed her crown and threw it into the wall. ’’So*hic*secksy it*hic*hurts’’ Celestia staggered on her bed, almost falling over. ’’An’ I’m, too*hic*sexy for Milare*hic* too sexy for Milaaaare~’’ She started bobbing her head. ’‘Neigh Yooork an’ Neighpon...’’
’‘Celestia!’’ Discord exclaimed. ’‘Get a hold of yourself and uh... Cover... up...’’ Celestia stopped her dancing and walked off the bed and towards Discord, almost falling over with every step.
’‘Stop... Stop being such a... a killjoy.’’ Celestia slurred.
’’No, I mean it. Everypony can hear you singing that very... flattering song.’’ Discord shuddered.
’‘Good because... ‘Cause they should know that I’m... I’m shecksy....’’ Celestia accidentally spat right into his face. ’‘Heh... Whoops...’’
’‘Please stop it, okay?’’ Discord pleaded.
Celestia huffed and frowned. ’‘I’m... I’m sexy an’ I know it...’’ She waved a hoof at Discord, who facehoofed. She laid down on her bed and sighed. ’‘This bed is soooft...’’ Celestia looked up at Discord and looked at him with her eyes half-lidded. ’‘Why... Why don’t you join me?’’ Celestia licked her lips.
’‘Nope!’’ Discord turned around and trotted out of the room, all fatique gone and forgotten. ’’Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!’’ He repeated while shaking his head.
’‘Well, that was scary.’’ Discord thought as he laid down on his bed in his room, while taking a deep breath. ’‘Note to self, never drink with Celestia.’’