When ponies are being killed in Ahuizotl's tribe, he relies on Daring to find the killer, but when the archeologist see their mutilated bodies she comes to realize there is something dark lurking with them.
Editors:
nioniosbbbb
Leapingriver
I am an inspiring writer and the best way to practice my writing is by writing fanfics. My favorite shippings are Fluttercord and Darzotl,(daring do and ahuizotl)
When ponies are being killed in Ahuizotl's tribe, he relies on Daring to find the killer, but when the archeologist see their mutilated bodies she comes to realize there is something dark lurking with them.
Editors:
nioniosbbbb
Leapingriver
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I like it so far, keep going.
Alright, so the pros to this story are: The premise is very interesting, you give Daring and Ahuizotl a distinct voice, you have the makings of a good adventure as well as a horror story and the emotional range is pretty good.
But, as for cons: you have some grammatical issues, the Pineapple juice thing is... strange to say the least and the switch from "Said" to "Says" is very jarring.
Overall I'd say that this needs some rewording and some proofreading, but it's otherwise pretty solid.
4707299
Thanks so much for taking the time to read it. ^_^
The pineapple bit was from the comics, it gets the truth out of a pony, like a alcoholic beverage.
And I will fix the grammer mistakes.
4707398 Sweet, I hope your story does well.
YAY!!!
I like it.
Hmm it doesn't involve shipping? Seem like a perfect premise for Darzotl team up
when will you continue this story?
4775836
in due time, I have to edit my other stories first, one on discord, than The Winter pearl story and I will get started on the Amulet of Anubis, when it will be updated? I have no idea, but it will be soon.
Pretty neat so far. Can't wait to see more! So far it kinda reminds me of the last Star Wars novel I read a while ago, Death Troopers, with the zombies and how it read kinda like this. Is it alright if I use this as a backstory for Daring in my upcoming Fallout: Equestria story?
5054734
Sure! ^_^ as long as you give me credit and a link for this story.
5054882 Yay! Thank you! I'll be sure to do that!
I've always wanted a story where Daring is interacting within the tribe in some way. This is the first I've seen.
What I don't get is how something this good is flying under the radar of everyone else...
I really enjoyed this. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Another great chapter, as always! But, if Izel is Ahuizotl's father, who must the mother be? Do we even want to know?
5261963
all will be revealed soon....^_^ and your questions shall be answered.
5262001 Can't wait!
All i can think is Now Kiss.
Why the hell didn't I follow this sooner???
Needs some editing grammar. I'm currently busy but will proceed to correct when i get home.
5433794
Shoot! And thanks ^_^
I really liked this chapter. Can't wait to see what happens.
5433834 Could I have gdoc format so i can put them there? I mean if you don't mind.
Damn, I have no idea why I wasn't informed of this update.
*pokes with stick*
Are there going to be more chapters?
Is this fic still alive? Would love to see it continued.
Thank you, it is still amazing! I hope you can continue this because I really wanna know what happens, but I get it. Sometimes we lose interest in our story and it's not so easy to come up with another chapter. Just continue to do your best. I can't speak for everyone else, but I will continue to follow and wait for what you produce next.
SO Happy to see a new update for this story. It was so good and that's cliffhanger man!!! Also finding good stories with Daring Do and Ahuizotl is kind of hard sometimes. Hope to see more in the near future.
If it's a creature that kills in dreams, then they might need to involve Luna. I doubt she'd want to help a criminal like he and his tribe, but at the same time there's not really much to stop this thing from killing anyone it wants, really.
With how it's taking an organ with every victim, I'm reminded a little of Jeepers Creepers.
I hope you continue with this. It sounds amazing. Also... stealing kidneys? Brrrr! Twists my intenstines.