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Nine humans. Nine Mares. Normal Lives. That's all about to change!
This has nothing to do with Ponyfall. Please, don't confuse our story with that. This is just something we're doing for fun.
This is a collaboration between nine authors:
Marcus: Sartarus
Isaac: Inoeitall
Doug: Gyrofest96
Kasper: Glassed
Coal: Coal Buck
Ryan: RaiderRy4n
Benjamin: The Producer
Camron: Frostbite
Kyle: k12314
MAY CELESTIA HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL!
Yep, you're fucked. No pun intended.
Okay, maybe a little... :3
>>444117 Behind the gates of madness: Our Skype-chat...
-Glassed
HO MAH GAWD. This... Just... THIS.....
I-- YES. VERY MUCH YES. VERY MUCH SE-- Err, yes.
~Jack
Coal, thanks for giving me a heads up on dis.
Let's see how this goes. I'm gonna do it... for Coal!
*while reading* Aww... No one likes Coal. :'( It's alright pal, things get better.
*it's a show* Wha-wha-whaaaat?
*the 'incident' comes up* Uhh...
Image: http://memeorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Not-Sure-If-Gusta-Meme-Rage-Face-Template.jpg*reaches end*
Aww... No more... It was still,
Dude...That...That...
Please, keep going with this! This is FUCKING GENIUS 
>>445053 Random g... You haven't heard of ANY of us?... That's actually somewhat of a surprised considering a few of the people we have on the team. (unless you didn't expect this to be self-insert?)
But we're all bronies, though Coal is a bit special, as you'll see later.
-Glassed
“'Hey! You! Big lug! I can sue you right now if I wanted, and probably pin a murder on your ass.' Kyle pulled out his pen and notepad, a passionate fire burning in his eyes, ready to Lawyer the man to no end." 
>>443818 either the book on the left, or the favorite button (the actual track button was transfered to favorites)
Ugh...I have no positive comments. None at all. So, I'll simply rip this fic to shreds.
First of all, in keeping with what Vargras said, this reads like a wish-fulfillment fic. Throwing bronies and MLP characters who like a badly-done equivalent together...yeah, that definitely won't end in page after page of steamy pony sex.
Secondly, it's flatly written. The dialogue hints nothing as to each character's personality, or even their word preference for that matter. The impression that I got was that there's a grand total of two characters: one human and one mare, who have a bizarre habit of holding conversations with themselves and calling themselves by several different names. Their personalities are pretty much an amorphous blob, which changes from sensitive to arrogant to apathetic, depending on the situation.
Thirdly, what construes as a "plot" here is missing one of its most critical factors: conflict. Otherwise, you just end up with a pointless story with a boring plotline and an unfulfilling ending. I mean it. Both sides like each other, they both have a decent knowledge of each others' society, and I generally just can't see any way that this situation could go wrong. In other words, BORING.
Fourthly, I find the inclusion of meme references to be pathetic at best. If you make references, the point is to be subtle. It's those kind of references that are funny. What you've got is basically "Hey, here's a trollface. LAUGH AT IT."
And, of course, there's the typical form issues, such as dialogue from two different characters in the same paragraph, comma misuse, fragmented sentences, et cetera, et cetera.
If this story has one thing going for it, and one thing only, it's that it's mostly coherent. Congratulations. You have a decent grasp of the English language.
I don't like being "that guy". I always try to find something constructive in a story, something that works for it. But all I can think is...
I'm sorry that you don't find our story entertaining. However, I thank you for pointing out many of our flaws in a respectful manner. You've made several valid points that we will be addressing. Worry not about "steamy pony sex," my morals will not allow anything I am involved in to turn to clop. As for it being flatly written, it is written as though it were an episode of a TV show, that is, not favoring one character over another. Also, while you seem to have a more refined taste of humor, most readers (and writers) find the more slapstick style humor amusing. We do our best to make the most number of people happy. This does mean that we cannot make everyone happy. Thank you for your feedback, and we will take your suggestions into consideration.
-inoeitall
>>445629 Yes, I know. I don't like HiE fics, but that doesn't mean I don't read them occasionally. The authors that made this fic wrote the only semi-good HiE stories I've ever read (in my opinion). I've just read more than enough of them and I guess I was foolishly hoping for something a bit different... which was kind of ridiculous of me to do.
And just because I don't like the actual plot of a story doesn't mean it isn't great. These guys put a lot of time and effort into their fics, and as an author myself, I know how hard writing one can get.
So what I'm saying is that they're great authors with great fics, but I personally don't usually like HiE fics.
Aaaaand, I just read over this and i realize it makes no sense, and i think i got a bit off topic.
Bottom line, I like their style, but I don't want to read a HiE fic at the moment... I'll probably end up reading it later, and I'm sure it's great, but the plot just won't catch my attention.
This still doesn't make any sense!! Just ignore my last comment... And if you happen to see this line before the ones above, don't read this one...
Dare to be Different, Carpe Diem, and Live Life to the Fullest! /)(\
A ".45" is a pistol chambered for ammunition with a bullet diameter of .45 inches.
A "45" is a phonograph record to be played back at 45 rmp.
Its just a misplaced period, but the idea of Vinyl taking her gun collection is pretty funny.
And I DO know what a record is and it DOES make me feel older than I am...
The entire thing reeks of ponyfall. There is a right way to Do HIE but this is not it. Now numbers becuase I'm a asshole and like tearing bad fics to ribbons.
1. I detect hints of human on pony action. You can theoretically do this but only if characters have chemistry together. I won't hate on furries becuase I tolerate everyone but this is very blandly written and reeks of wish fulfillment.
2.The personalities are rather undefined. Whenever a new character speaks put a line breaking it from the previous character unless hes doing something that would be completely defining of his character. IE hes the only one in the group wearing a black jacket or has some other defining characteristic from the others. It is still better to line break just in case though.
3. Like fan stated It lacks conflict. This could be easily remedied by something as simple as say rarity being human racist or twilight accidentally killing a human upon arrival into the human world.(IE something as simple as her just falling on one.)
4. Memes can be hilarious if used right IE they fit with certain situations.
5. This may be a timing issue but this thing smells like ponyfall, something you most definitely do not want to be associated with.
as for pros....at least it's (mostly) readable albeit boring.
Seeing as how you were kind enough to use a numerical structure, I shall do the same to address your concerns.
1. You may or may not be correct, but rest assured we will not attempt to force two characters together who do not "fit," if you will humor my metaphor. The shipping diagram, while simple, is both logical and fitting. I cannot go into more detail at this time, but just give it time.
2. The personalities are undefined at this time, because the reader isn't supposed to know much about the character. We aren't going to start the whole thing off with pages upon pages of explanation about the backstory and thought process of each character when we have so many. Each character will be explored more fully as the story progresses, and most of their character will be shown through actions as opposed to thoughts. You'll see the characters grow and change as everything progresses. We will take your advice into consideration in future chapters.
3. As I said to FanNotANerd, this is being addressed, and while it may not appear that there is any conflict on the horizon, be patient and you may be surprised. I wish I could say more, but my hands are tied at this time.
4. We are attempting to use meme-based humor with taste, but everyone's tastes differ. I'm sorry if our go at it didn't tickle your fancy. We try our best, but no one is perfect.
5. I realize this I can assure you that the base idea of this has been rattling around in my brain for over a month. Seeing the success of PonyFall did do a little bit to galvanize the action, but it was developed entirely separately. Again, you may find the entire PonyFall occurrence distasteful, but several of the fics have been featured, meaning that many people DO like them. We cater to the masses, and while we value everyone's opinions, we cannot appease everyone.
As for you being unable to find any pros, perhaps you should reconsider your outlook on life. There are pros to every situation! For example, we didn't take up half of the word-count with an unnecessary Author's note. I hope reading this story made you smile at least a little bit. If so, I can readily say that our mission has been fulfilled.
-inoeitall
Thanks for the feedback. Really. I was expecting comments like this, so this doesn't hold any emotional value over me whatsoever. I'm just glad you're able to openly get out your point without putting yourself into a 'bad guy' position. Well, thanks for at least reading the first chapter. Feedback is feedback, after all.
And it suprises me that you think we want people to laugh at Doug's trollface. We really don't care whether or not you laugh. These are supposed to be modeled after us. US. Having Doug making a trollface simply made sense because it's what he'd do. It is his character. You know a joke that you have between friends and only you select few get it? Even if it sounds really stupid to others because they're incredibly out of context, you simply enjoy the joke for what it is? That's exactly what this is. A big inside joke between the all of us. Apparently, you're that businessman walking by two kids making inside jokes, who decides to stop and comment on how stupid the joke sounded. That doesn't bother me at all. We're going to continue writing this and enjoying it. The rest of you that track, favorite, and like this... welcome aboard the adventure! The rest of you, thanks for giving it a shot. 
Also, you wanted conflict? On the first chapter? Not every story we write can address the problem in the first chapter. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as claiming it's mares in heat. We plan on making this a long fanfic, hopefully able to keep new ideas original and enjoyable. Again, I'm sorry this story didn't cater to your wants. At least I can commend you for giving a shot.
Some people seem to forget that just because some HiE's, well maybe most, turn into Hu. on Po. action, does not mean they all will.
Also, for the record, it seems that some people have it wrong. Even if the characters WERE ponies in their home reality, they aren't going to be ponies in the OTHER reality. At least, that's what some lines of the story imply. (But even so, I guess it STILL counts as them being ponies...)
And it's Pony on/in Earth, not Human in Equestria. PoE not HiE. Because the ponies are obviously going to earth, not the other way around.
~
Anyways, once again, This is GREAT so far.
TechnoPony
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I like how Lyra is in character (at least for My Little Person fics/memes).
I AWAIT FURTHER MADNESS!
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....nevermind...
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