*Warning* Lot's of cussing!
When a collage kid's DJ friend brings a little alcohol to a little reunion of two friends...things turn out worse than in the history of Equestria.
This is my very first fan-fiction ever! This fan-fiction is based off of a dream I had back in December.(And yea I'm a girl!) That was one strange dream... Tell me what ya think!
Please don't take this too poorly, as this is just constructive criticism, but you have serious spelling, grammar, and redundancy issues.
The first paragraph:
Every time you meant College, you spelled Collage. You wrote "I've been made fun of for my skin and skin pattern" when in terms of ponies, being made fun of for a skin pattern is implied with skin. Following the sentence is "I'm not normal" which is entirely redundant and only makes sense stylistically when what is abnormal is offered afterwards as a form of elaboration.
Please, just try to fix glaring mistakes with grammar, redundancy, and spelling. Rereading what you've typed and giving it to friends to proof read are really good things to do before you publish. Fixing these mistakes will help make your fic much more readable and will only help your readers understand what is going on.
As rainbow dash once said "SO AWESOME"
Sincerely the Doctor
Hmm... I'm going have to second everything Sforzando said. On top of all of that, I just don't see where this story's going. You start with some introduction, setting the scene, but immediately there's a flashback with a ton of screaming. It just seems... a bit random if you ask me. They just party for no reason at all?
>>555347555347 Thanks man!
>>555095555095 Now I know I stink at this! This...is...THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!!!raritycry OH GAGA WHY!!!!
Thanks for the advice thought! At least I now see where I have to fix some things.