Step Behind
"There you have it folks! The latest on the Gun Girls and their latest heist. Coming up, can dogs really talk? Find out next-"
Twilight headed towards the squad car, her face scrunched up in an oddly shape; the corner of her lips turned downwards, her nose wrinkled, and eyes tightly shut. She lightly banged her head on the top of the car fame, each time the sound intensifying in rapture. The car let out out a rustic moan of bang bang, the sound echoing inside of Big Mac's ears. He winced instantly, groaning as he shook his head back and forth. Bang bang, the sound becoming louder. Bang bang, memories of the past filling his mind. Bang bang, all the decisions he would have to make in the future taunting him.
"STOP IT! STOP IT! ENOUGH!" he shouted, clasping his ears tightly.
Twilight sharply turned her head, startled by the sound. She slowly caught her breath, eyeing Big Mac the entire time. He still had his ears and eyes tightly shut, but a small stream of clear liquid trickling out of the corner of his eyes. It gently moved across his face, around his dry, chapped lips, eventually falling off his chiseled chin. Twilight brought out a small handkerchief from her black duster and wiped away the tears from his eyes. Big Mac snapped out of his internal nightmare to see a dazzling mare before his eyes. While his vision was still blurry, he could make out a wavy purple mare holding some kind of napkin through blood shot eyes.
"Thought you needed it more than I did," she chuckled. "Look, I know it's hard that we haven't found anything yet, but it's nothing to get upset about," she smiled.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," he sniffled.
"I know your sister is one of the criminals we're after," she paused briefly, placing her right hoof on his shoulder, "But I will make sure that she gets released to you. She's family after all, and that goes a long way."
"Blood's thicker than water, right?" he chortled.
"Damn straight. Now, let's get some grub huh?"
"Sure thing partner."
Twilight smiled strutting away from him, her hips popping as she walked. She pushed her mane back over her ears before stopping at the passenger side door. She glanced into the side-view mirror, making sure that she was somewhat decent before they went to lunch. To her bewilderment, she caught Big Mac in the background. His eyes were fixated on something, but what was it? Squinting her eyes, she realized what he was staring at when she walked away from him.
"Like what you see?"
"Er uhh, what?" stammered Big Mac.
"Y'know, staring in public is going to cost you. However, in private, it's free," she flirted, slowly climbing into the car, making sure to show off her assets.
Big Mac's mouth spew imaginary words, his thoughts all jumbled up. He gulped and tried to keep his balance as he walked over the car, his steps shaky and wobbly. He tried to open the door, but his hooves shook nervously, the handle fidgeting in his grip. He eventually swung the door open and climbed inside, Twilight staring out of the side of the car, her two hindlegs crossed over one another on the passenger seat. Her left buttocks hung over the edge of the seat, the cutie mark visible for him to see. He turned the ignition over and began to drive, uncertain of where he was going.
"Take a left up here and go straight until you hit Route 95. Take that south until you see Baltimare. Get off at that exit and find us a decent restaurant. I'm going to take a nap for a bit," said Twilight, her head resting between the seat and the door panel.
"You got it," stated Big Mac.
The humming of the tires on pavement started to drowse Twilight. Combined with the occasional bumps in the road and the soft music playing on the radio, she fell asleep. She dreamt of catching the trio in a warehouse, a trap she planned earlier. With the three of them in her pistol's sights, she laughed at how easy it all was. She did a soliloquy of how they would rot in a prison cell, all of them. She ordered their surrender, but Octavia burst into a fit of laughter. Twilight cursed her out and told her to keep her trap shut. She cocked the hammer of her pistol, ready to shoot until she heard another hammer being cocked. She felt a snub nose pistol pressed into the back of her skull, the point of it nuzzled underneath her occipital bone. "I'm sorry, Twi, but I can't let you do that," the voice said behind her. It was deep and distorted, a hint of sadness intertwined within. Twilight gasped loudly, her body being shook awake.
"You alright Ms. Sparkle?" asked Big Mac.
"Y-Yeah, just a," she gulped, "A bad dream. A bad dream, that's all," she shuddered.
Big Mac put the vehicle in park and they ventured inside the diner. The layout was simple, yet elegant. There was a bar counter with small stools, the steel foot railing running along underneath the seats. The booths were a beige color, the small table in the middle being stacked with a mini jukebox and a condiment rack. The floor had an occasional tile or two missing, the cement foundation showing. The two of them sat down at an open booth, Big Mac looking out the window while Twilight browsed through the jukebox to her left.
A brown mare walked over to the table with two glasses of ice water. Pulling a small notebook out from her apron, she opened it up and asked what they wanted to drink besides water. She was a thin earth pony, her curly mane dangling over the side of her face. Her chest was a decent bust, her waist small, but the thing that stood out the most was her rear. Big Mac had noticed it when he walked in, but tried to look out the window and rid the thought from his head. The both of them looked at her and just responded with "Water is fine, thanks."
"Sure, no problem! My name is Jessica and I'll be your server. Here's the menus and just to let you know today's special is a pasta salad with iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, and onions, topped with a nice balsamic dressing. I'll be back in a few minutes to take your order," she smiled.
She turned and left the table, Big Mac catching another glimpse at the beautiful backside winking back at him. He drank the water, the cool liquid running down his throat. He sighed in relief, glad to be finally off of the road and relaxing. The flipping of pages could be heard from the jukebox, Twilight still choosing a song.
"You should get her number. And if things get serious, I'll just catch a movie," Twilight boldly stated.
Big Mac's face flushed rapidly at this sudden outburst. "What makes you say that?"
"Well, for starters, you were checking out her ass."
Big Mac had no retort for this situation.
"I mean I guess you didn't like mine, too bad," she said lazily, still flipping through the pages.
"What? No, your ass is really fine. It looks great!"
"Oh, so you were looking at my flank." Big Mac's face turned red again. "You like flanks, I get that. Any stallion would. And she's got a nice flank, plenty of it to grab onto. I mean I wouldn't mind grabbing a hold of it now and then."
Big Mac's eyes were spiraling, his vision hazy. His face was hot as a brush fire, his hooves sweaty and shaky. He stuttered over his words, a twitch emerging from his eye.
"You really are so easy to toy with, Mac. Tell me, have you ever been with a mare?"
"O-Of course I have!" he yelled.
"Looks to me like you still haven't had that card punched yet."
"What card?"
"Your V-card, dear. Please do keep up."
"How would you know? And also, how did you see me looking at her?"
"Peripheral vision is a wonderful thing, dear. It's amazing what new things we learn every day. For instance, did you know that every time you get flustered, you stutter? Or when you're aroused, your eye twitches? It's actually pretty funny."
"Have you been spying on me?"
The sound of flipping pages stopped, Twilight's eyes still on the jukebox. "Yes, I stalk you. Every time you go to sleep, I open your window, sneak in, and stare at you. I watch you intently, taking notes. When you shower, I peek underneath the curtain and catch a glimpse of you completely nude and wet. And when you have your alone time, I'm in the room, turned on by your performance."
Big Mac was dumbfounded. A race of adrenaline and starvation filled his brain. "Y-You saw me do all those things? Even me, ummm, having a private moment?"
"Oh, yes, it was very large, I must say. I would totally ride it," she said sarcastically.
"And that one time when I finished on the mare?"
Twilight's head jerked upright, her vision staring out through the window. "The mare?" she asked.
"Well, yeah, I mean she was umm, using her talents on me."
Twilight slowly turned her head and faced Big Mac, her jaw agape. "Dude, I have been joking this whole time. I have been completely fucking with you. I didn't even know you were with a girl last time, let alone having sex. Well, I guess I know now that your card is punched," she giggled, turning her attention back to the jukebox.
"Wait......you were kidding?" asked Big Mac.
"Eeyup, the whoooooole time." Big Mac's head slammed into the table, startling the waitress next to him.
"Is he alright?" asked Jessica.
"Oh he's fine, just a bit embarrassed is all," replied Twilight.
"About what?" she inquired.
"Well, you see-"
"NO!" Big Mac shouted.
"Shush, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. You see yesterday after I was investigating the clues from a crime scene, Big Mac saw a filly crying across the street. He rushed over and asked her what was wrong. It turned out that she had lost her mother when the Gun Girls arrived. Well, Big Mac spent the next hour next to the filly's side, eventually reuniting the girl with her mother. He didn't think anypony saw, but I saw the whole thing. And now, I'm just torturing him with it, is all."
"Awww, that's so sweet. You really did that?" asked Jessica. Twilight's right eye caught the attention of Big Mac. She motioned with her eye back at waitress, giving him the signal.
"Yeah, I didn't think she saw. I don't really like to show my sensitive side, that's all. She more or less caught me in a private moment," Big Mac replied.
"Well, I wouldn't mind seeing you in a private moment," Jessica flirted.
"Oh? Well how about this? Let's make a bet. If I can make you laugh, then I'll pick you up when your shift is over. If I can't, then I'll give you a $50 tip. Deal?"
"Only 50?"
"Well, it would be 100, but well, I'll need the other fifty for your other expense."
"My other expense?"
"A new hip after I'm done with you," he grinned.
Jessica's face turned red, the notebook trying to conceal it. A small giggle escaped her lips, Big Mac's smile growing wider.
"Seems like I won."
"No, I didn't laugh," Jessica replied.
"You giggled. And then you hid your face with your notebook. Not only are you sexy, but you're sneaky as well. What other things should I know about you?"
"My shift ends at 8."
"Then, I'll be back. In the meantime, I'll have a hayburger fully loaded. Ms. Sparkle, what would you like?"
"The special's fine."
"I'll be right back," smiled Jessica.
Twilight waited until the waitress was out of view. "Good job Casanova, way to reel in a big fish. One small problem."
"And that is?"
"Who's car are you going to borrow?"
"The squad car."
"Oh? So first you take the room and then the car. Why don't you put lipstick on me first."
"Lipstick?"
"Because I like to look pretty when I'm being fucked. Anyway, let's talk business. Your sex life bores me."
"So what's the plan?"
"We warn the major banks in the surrounding area of a possible attack. It shouldn't be anytime soon, they can't move out in the open. That car may be common, but we have a clue to know which car belongs to them."
"But I thought there were no clues?"
"C'mon, if I publicly state we have clues, they won't act brazen anymore. They'll be even more uptight and cover their tracks more intensely."
"So, what's the clue?"
"Rust particles. Meaning, the undercarriage is starting to rust."
"But that could come from so many other places. It's not really a great clue."
"True, but it's a start. Any small thing I will take," Twilight replied, taking a drink from her glass.
"Oh, you only take small things?" retorted Big Mac.
"Anyway, we'll have barricades and the sort. Extra protection and security. All we can do, I'm afraid. Oh and Big Mac?"
"Yes, Ms. Sparkle?"
"Your thing is too small for even for my standards," she replied, her one up stumping Big Mac.
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Omg! So glad you kept the comedy tag!
5297968 1st downvote and no reason why.....
People like that annoy me. Give me a reason why you didn't like it, not just, oh a story that doesn't intrigue me? Why a downvote for you!
5298060 me? I love it! It's in my favs! The charecter develope ment is great! I can tell Big Mac reminds the audience of a young officer who's, well horny! I also love the comedy! "You sex life bores me." Great line for Twi btw.
Lol. This was hilarious the entire time! You're really gettin' ambitious here, you devil. Keep up the excellent work.
5298082
Thanks! Yeah, you're fine. Just checked and now 2 downvotes. I'm just merely venting but it's little things like that which make me question my work: could the dialogue be better? Character development? More setting detail? etc. And without the criticism for the downvote, it leaves the impression that the individual is A) A Troll or B) Too damn lazy to make a constructive comment, yet has enough time to downvote. IDK, just my two cents worth 
5298845
Aw shucks! Next chapter tho.......there's some imagery I leave open to your wandering mind 
5299389 I look forward to it, dear sir/madam.
5299389 lol. I think some ponys just scroll down the story list, and randomly down vote.
Wait...
So, is it Big Mac or Bi C Mac?
Or they two different ponies?
5303261
Did I make a typo somewhere? I just checked and I couldn't find any spelling errors. Could you elaborate on your comment? I'm kind of confused 
5304346
Incoming wall of text.
1)The two of them sat down at an open booth, Bic Mac looking out the window while Twilight browsed through the jukebox to her left.
2)Bic Mac was dumbfounded.
3) Bic Mac saw a filly crying across the street.
Ctrl+f and type in Bic Mac. There's at least 5 in the story.
5305821
X 100. Wow, just.......wow. How in the hell did I mess up 31 TIMES!?!?!? 
Anyway, it's supposed to be BIG Mac. I honestly don't know how I even managed to do that. But thank you so much, as I went through and fixed every single name. Again, sincere apologies and thank for pointing it out. I appreciate it