• Member Since 15th May, 2014
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Silver Nightshade


T

Slowly, so slowly, something has been roaming the world of Equus and has started to kill the inhabitants. Already all of the Griffon and other Nations' populations have fallen, even the Changelings have died out. The only stronghold in this new Equus is the land of Equestria and even there its failing.

This Universe takes place where Twilight's an Alicorn but all the events actually happen when the mane 6 would be in their early teens/mid-teens, where Twilight is the same age as The Character Night Darkshroud.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 18 )

Twilight is the same age as The Character Night Darkshroud

:rainbowhuh: You seriously named your OC "Night Darkshroud"? :unsuresweetie:

5020462 It could be worse.

I mean Silver Nightshade?
That's gotta be in a top ten just right there.:trollestia:

5022714 funny you say that I originally thought about making the OC me. Given the comments so far that could only bode well wouldn't it?

haha:trollestia:

5034539 At least dark night shroud Implies some sort of special talent in darkness or sneaking. What does a color and a plant mean. What does a half-moon signify? Why is he a color of pony we only see in the night storm troopers royal guard. Your OC confuses me on so many levels.

5034776 I'll be honest, the whole Nightshade thing sounded cool to me and until recently I never knew it was a plant so +1 to me, the half moon with a wand signifies use in illusionary and offensive magic.
And yeah in the story we are literally introduced to the O.C. by having him coming out of an invisibility spell so there's that at least right?

EDIT: also I'm horrible with coming up with O.C. names for ponies.

5037716 I've seen worse honestly. At least he's only a pony and not a hybrid thing. Also he's neither red and black or an alicorn so it could always be worse.

Oh he has freckles, never mind. BURN THE SPECIAL FRECKLES HORSE.:trollestia:

5037765 so in other news, did you read the story or only get to the description? I knows its a short read but I need some practical writing exercise and I'm trying my hoof at actual story writing.

5037796 If the AU the story takes place in or is illogical I usually ignore it, which I think I did here. Early Teenage mane six with Twilicorn kinda confused me. (Also implies that the MC is at least slightly younger than me). That's a general rule I practice for stories that look like self-insert fiction. I'll check it out in depth though.

EDIT: THREE signposted perspective shifts in the first chapter Abandoning ship.

5037821 If that makes you jump ship wait til you get to the rest of it.:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

EDIT: also, is it that they're signposted shifts or the fact that they're shifted that you don't like?

5038027
----(Chase_1159's perspective)----------

No more to the point of there being,

1) 3 perspectives within a thousand words

2) If your going to switch perspectives do it in third person omniscient and don't put giant distracting signposts in the chapter

I just realized that it has you killing off Twilight too. That explains the lack of support for your story. Fanboys have a habit of being rabid and easily angered
-----(Fanboy's Perspective)----
Burn the witch! He hath sinned.:pinkiecrazy:
----(Chase_1159's perspective)----------
Shush Twilight fanboy in my head, Not now.
-----(Fanboy's Perspective)----
Rape his flesh tell his organs burn! Penetrate his virgin anus till pain fills his soul. Make him fell the pain of purple smart book mini horse!:pinkiecrazy:
----(Chase_1159's perspective)----------
I'll be going now... Run.
-----(Fanboy's Perspective)----
Go for the genitals! They feel the sweetest inside.:pinkiecrazy:

5039426 That should be a story on FIMfiction. lol

Plus, I like breaking Norms

5041685 What should be a story?

Attack of the fanboys from fimfiction?

Burn the witch!:pinkiecrazy:

5041703 Yup, but seriously, aside from the first-person shifts, what do you think about it? is the plot good, however short it is? or does it need work cuz I already have the next two sequels in production for this.

i loved the story.. but i feel there wasn't much explantion to how it all began... and not much explantion on how Celestia and Humans Contacted each other first.. other then that i loved the story.. because to me it painted a Image of what was going down and had my brain giving everypony a voice while reading.. great job can't wait too see more story's ^-^

6028278 Part of why there isn't much explained is because I have 2 Sequels planned, one is set immediately after this and the other a couple years later.

Hello, I did a riffing of this story for Doctor and Ditzy's Science Theater. What is riffing? It is MST3K, but with fanfics! Thank you Silver Nightshade for letting me do this story.

The riff.

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