• Published 30th Oct 2011
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Total Magic Pony Island - Tailslover13

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Episode 13: Fair-Weather Enemies

Discord: Last time, on Total Magic Pony Island: revenge was locked into the heart of our young dragon hero…or villain, depending on how you look at it. Spike was determined to pay Rainbow dash back for voting off Silver Spoon, not to mention being the main reason Zecora and Sweetie Belle both went home, too. After Pinkie chatted with herself and Fluttershy and Celestia had a rather risqué moment in the showers, Nightmare Moon gave the campers a rude awakening the next morning. The evil little alicorn generously took over for yours truly while I was off parading in Canterlot. Rarity got humiliated and eliminated first, leaving the teams even at five apiece. Cheerilee and Celestia were eliminated next by some wicked lightning bolts. Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash were both eliminated next, the latter thanks to her attitude and the former thanks to the latter’s elimination. After a little help from the mysterious Mare Do Well, Applejack rescued Rainbow Dash from Nightmare Moon’s dungeon, but not before a steamy make-out session between the two Ruffians. Finally, our dear Twilight Sparkle somehow outlasted Applejack and Spike while hanging upside-down in a tree to win her team immunity. It was the Misfits’ fourth straight win. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were both sure that Spike was the next to go, but the shocker of the season happened when the element of honesty was voted out instead. Checking the confessional, it was revealed that Spike rigged the votes to eliminate Applejack to pay Rainbow Dash back for the pain that she caused him by taking out Silver Spoon. Kinda evil, but you gotta hand it to the dragon. The kid’s got guts. Plus, there’s no rule against cheating in this game. Be that as it may, how will Spike fare now that the target is on his back even more than before? Will Rainbow Dash find out what the dragon did? Will the Magical Misfits ever lose again? Find out all these answers and more, right here, on Total…Magic…Pony…Island!

*the opening theme song showing all 20 contestants plays a moment later before the episode*

Rainbow Dash slumped her shoulders as she dragged herself towards her team’s cabin. She had no idea what had happened. The pain in her nose reminded her of Applejack’s brutal bucking she had given her after the Pegasus had relinquished her parting “gift”. Her mouth still tasted the orange earth pony’s rich taste delivered via her rough, yet warm lips. Her heart was hurting as she had watched the Boat of Losers vanish around the bend of the island, the ocean taking away her best friend and crush. But, her brain was enraged and just begging to let its voice be heard. A new fire had sparked inside of Rainbow Dash, and she wasn’t about to let this go.

“Um…Rainbow Dash…are you going to be okay?” Fluttershy asked, walking alongside her friend with Celestia on the cyan mare’s other side, “I’m here for you, if you need a friend to lean on…or a pony to vent upon. Um, if you must vent, please try to make it gentle…if that’s okay.”

“I’m not gonna yell at you, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash grumbled, refusing to lift her head to even acknowledge her fellow Pegasus, “I’m fine, really! I just…man, it sucks that AJ is gone. She was…well, she was…one of the best ponies I’ve ever known.”

“You will see her again when this game is over, Rainbow Dash,” Celestia pointed out, “It’s not like this was goodbye forever. She is simply no longer with us on this horrible island.”

Rainbow Dash grit her teeth as she cast a glare over at the princess. “Princess…no offense, but…I don’t think you can understand how I feel right now. Tell me, how did YOU feel when Luna was voted out?”

A bit taken aback by the question, Celestia paused to gather her thoughts. “Well…at first, I’ll admit I was a bit…jealous…that my little sister got to go home before me to reclaim her royal duties. But, a while later, I began to feel an emptiness inside of my heart.” Celestia went silent again, pausing and making the four remaining Royal Ruffians halt in their tracks to listen to the princess. “I…I didn’t want to send my sister to the moon for 1,000 years…I really didn’t. I hated myself every day for that, but…I couldn’t just bring her back and admit I was wrong and that I overreacted…I just couldn’t. When the signs all pointed to my sister returning, I knew her pain and anger would be a problem. That was how you girls met Twilight and how you stopped my sister from herself. But, it was so nice…seeing my baby sister again. My heart was full once more.”

“But, Princess, couldn’t you have just stopped her yourself?” Spike asked, speaking up for the first time since the elimination ceremony a half hour ago, “I mean, I know you no longer could wield the elements of harmony, but you were nowhere to be seen during that entire fateful night! How come you didn’t even help your loyal student stop Nightmare Moon?”

Rainbow Dash glared at Spike for bringing up such a touchy question, Fluttershy looking a bit unnerved about the situation as well. Celestia, however, didn’t back down. “You are right, Spike…you are right in questioning my judgment. Sometimes, we do things out of fear…and out of love…that we don’t mean to do. I…I couldn’t face my sister…as Nightmare Moon. I was so ashamed and so…scared…of seeing my sister like that. Instead, I chose to come out and welcome her back with open arms only after the darkness had left her heart. I’m a coward, I’ll admit it.”

“Princess…you’re not a coward,” Fluttershy stammered, wrapping her forelegs around the dejected princess’ head and pulling her into a nuzzle, “I’m a coward, but you certainly aren’t. You rule over Equestria and do many, many amazing and wonderful things that I couldn’t even think of doing in my entire life!”

“Power and might does not equal bravery, dear Fluttershy,” Celestia said softly, burying her face into Fluttershy’s neck as she felt the Pegasus’ warmth spread through her body, “I’m not as young as I used to be, my new body aside. You, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie…and even Spike…you all are the courage of Equestria. You girls wield the elements of harmony and do things that I couldn’t even think of doing. Believe me, Fluttershy…you are braver than I.”

“So…you can understand the emptiness inside my heart then,” Rainbow Dash murmured, having listened to every word that had been spoken between the group, “I just lost a friend. Game or not, she’s no longer here. An empty void is all that remains. Each of my friends has a special place in my heart that nopony else could fill, like your sister with you, Princess. Whatever Discord did to affect those votes and get rid of Applejack, I’m not gonna rest until I make him pay. And…if it wasn’t him…I’m gonna make whoever DID do it pay instead. No one messes with me and my friends!”

The group of four sat in silence for a long time. Fluttershy and Celestia remained locked in a gentle hug, with Rainbow Dash sitting close by and Spike watching from a few feet away. Dash thought she saw the glimpse of Spike making a nervous gesture when she mentioned that she was gonna make whoever voted Applejack off pay, but she pushed it aside and instead went back to watching her two teammates hug each other. Spike eventually broke the awkward silence.

“You know…when it comes right down to it…don’t you think we’re all cowards?” the little dragon asked, “Think about it. No matter how brave or bold we might pretend we are, deep down, there’s fear in all our hearts that make us…uh…what was it that Twilight once said? Uh…oh, right…imperfect! Yeah, she once said that our fear is one of the many flaws that make each Equestrian imperfect. The fact that we are all by nature cowards is one of those flaws.”

“Speak for yourself!” Rainbow Dash suddenly flared up, whipping her head around and glaring at the baby dragon. “I’m not a coward! Do you know what kind of guts it takes to perform those tricks I do in the sky all the time? Do you know how just one wrong move could scar you for life when you’re flying at the speed of sound itself? Do you know what it feels like to have to face all my screaming fans who just want to have a piece of the Dash? That takes a LOT of courage! I’m no coward.”

Spike looked ready to throw up and punch Rainbow Dash at the same time, but being mostly respectful towards females after his life of living with Twilight, he knew better than to teach Dash a lesson with his fists. Instead, he stomped over and got right up into Dash’s face to retort what she had just spoken. “Rainbow Dash, do you even LISTEN to yourself? You are such a…”

Rainbow Dash silenced Spike as she shoved a hoof into his mouth and pushed him back. “Shut up! I don’t want to hear it from you. You should’ve gone home instead of Applejack; she didn’t deserve it! Just you wait, dragon boy. If we lose another challenge, you WILL be going home, even if I have to sit by that confessional and make sure that Discord or anypony else doesn’t mess with the ballots!”

“Um…Rainbow Dash…are you sure that was very bright to say?” Celestia asked, trotting over and glancing at the Pegasus, “You just told Spike right to his face that we want him gone next…”

“So? He knew that anyway!” Dash sneered, smirking down at the angry dragon as she stretched her wings, “Better hope we don’t lose again, buddy boy, or else you can kiss your dreams of the million bits goodbye!” She paused for a second, tapped her chin, then let out a snicker. “Actually, everypony here should’ve kissed their dreams of winning the game goodbye as soon as I arrived on the island. I’m obviously going to win, so there’s nothing you can do anyway.”

Cackling in delight, Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and took off into the night sky for her usual nightly flight around the island before heading to bed. Celestia and Fluttershy were left nervously looking at one another while Spike glared up at them with his arms crossed. “I think we need to have a little talk, ladies. Let’s head back to the cabin, shall we?”

Spike: Ah-ha, so Dash finally confessed that she was gunning for me the whole time! She’s so stupid; she never even thinks before she speaks! This is perfect, though. Fluttershy and the princess both heard her talk. Maybe, just maybe, they’ll start to see just how horrible she is and kick her off before me. *he shakes his head* It’s weird, though…Dash was never like this before…why now?

Fluttershy: Oh my…Rainbow Dash sounded so…um…mean. *she squeaked and hid half of her face with her mane as she said that* I’m sorry…I really shouldn’t speak of her like that…I care for her deeply, I really do! But…um, I’ve kinda noticed…a little bit…that she hasn’t been herself since this game started. Does she really care about winning…that much? I…I worry about her…she’s a close friend and I love her.

Celestia: What a mess this night was. First a painful and humiliating challenge, then I find out Discord raided my castle and Luna didn’t stop him, then Applejack somehow gets sent home, and finally Spike and Rainbow Dash get into another fight. This is very troubling, to say the least. *she narrows her eyes a little* I believe this is Discord’s doing…something isn’t right here, and I’m going to find out what!

Rainbow Dash: Well, seeing AJ go home was tough…and I’m still hurting over it…but, what can ya do? What’s done is done; I’m not much for crying and acting all weepy anyway. Applejack would’ve gone down to me eventually anyway, since only ONE can win this game. *she grins excitedly, her eyes narrowing into devious slits* Fluttershy won’t betray me, and the princess is loyal…Spike is a goner!

“Girls, girls, did you hear? Applejack got sent home!” Scootaloo shouted, racing back to her team’s hot tub and reciting the stunning news, “Spike got two votes, but Applejack got three!”

“Wait, what?!?!” Twilight gasped, shaking her head and blinking a few times, as though she didn’t believe she had heard the filly correctly, “Applejack is gone? But…but…HOW? No offense to Spike, but I was SURE that he’d be gone! I love him and all, but…Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are all best friends, and I don’t think the princess would betray them, since that’s just not like her. Spike was clearly the one who was supposed to go. What in the world happened?”

“I don’t know,” Scootaloo shrugged, “I was spying, as I always do, to make sure that Rainbow didn’t go home. When the five votes were read, Applejack was sent packing. Rainbow tried to defend her, but she and Fluttershy and the princess were all shot away by some black lightning or something before Nightmare Moon dragged AJ to the Boat of Losers. Discord claimed that he had nothing to do with it.”

“Well, he’s CLEARLY lying,” Rarity frowned, up to her neck in the steaming water of the hot tub as she listened to the filly’s story, “There is absolutely no way that Applejack should’ve been sent home this evening. If not Spike, then surely Rainbow Dash would’ve been voted off next, since her attitude has been downright deplorable and disgusting. If not Discord messing with the votes, how else would Applejack have been sent away?”

“Maybe Fluttershy and Princess Celestia accidentally wrote Applejack’s name with a magical quill that writes down the name of the camper that you DON’T want to write?” Pinkie guessed.

“Perhaps somepony fixed the votes to go to Applejack?” Trixie wagered, “Not that Trixie cares, since she didn’t like that annoying farmer, but does it not seem that Applejack being eliminated is rather peculiar and suspicious?”

“Hmm…you don’t think that Spike would…” Cheerilee whispered to herself, narrowing her eyes as she gazed down at the bubbling waters of the hot tub. Thankfully, she didn’t speak loud enough to be heard over the hissing waters, so the teacher’s thoughts went ignored as the other Misfits focused on their own thoughts and theories.

“Wait a minute…I got it!” Twilight gasped, her eyes bulging. She leaned out of the hot tub and placed her hooves on the side as she rose up to make a proclamation. “Don’t you all see? It’s so obvious! This is all part of Discord’s master plan…whatever that may be. This was part of his plan from the start! First, he brought the only ponies…and their friends…who could stop him to this island so that they would be out of his way. Then, he decided to make us play one of his sick and twisted games for his own amusement. But, all along, he’s been working behind the scenes with Nightmare Moon on their revenge against Equestria…and us! He sent home the first element of harmony, Applejack. Now, there’s five left and one isn’t here. We’re playing right into his hands!”

“Um, Twilight, I don’t really think Discord would do something like that,” Cheerilee replied, “He’s not really much for plans…he just does what he wants and has fun with it. If you ask me, Applejack going home was simply due to Spike…”

“This is HORRIBLE!” Rarity cried, interrupting Cheerilee’s thoughts, “Oh, Twilight, why didn’t we see it before? Clearly you are correct. Discord and Nightmare Moon are toying with us until the right moment before they strike and take their vengeance! Oh, this is just terrible!” She bawled her eyes out, forcing Pinkie to give her a reassuring squishy hug.

“The longer we stay on this island, the more trouble we’re in!” Twilight went on, “We really should find a way to leave as quickly as possible. Like last time, the longer we play this meaningless game, the longer Discord’s TRUE plan will be left unblemished!”

“But do you propose we do, Twilight Sparkle?” Trixie asked, “As much as Trixie loathes admitting it, we cannot use our magic. There is also no chance that Trixie is swimming across an entire ocean that could stretch on for miles and miles! The Boat of Losers only comes when somepony is voted off, too, so we simply cannot wait for that, either.”

“Maybe we could ask Rainbow Dash to fly us out of here?” Scootaloo piped up hopefully, “She’s the best flier in all of Equestria, you know. It would probably take her no less than five minutes to fly each of us home, no matter how far it is!”

Twilight paused to consider what Trixie and Scootaloo said. Trixie was correct in stating that they really had no way off the island using conventional means. Scootaloo was also correct in stating that Dash could probably fly each of the campers off, one by one, but the danger in that was alerting Discord with what they were doing. There was something that didn’t make a lot of sense to Twilight, too. When all the campers got to the island, Discord had outwardly stated that they were free to quit whenever they wanted; the only thing keeping them going was the chance to win one million bits, not to mention gaining worldwide fame. If Discord WAS up to something, shouldn’t he have put up more boundaries?

“Girls…on second thought…I think we should stay where we are,” Twilight eventually said, sighing and feeling very nervous about making such a statement.

“WHAT?!?! But, darling, even YOU must admit that something very wrong is going on here!” Rarity argued, “Whatever made you change your mind?”

“I think the odds are still in our favor,” Twilight explained, “Think about it. If we were to try and get Dash to fly us out of here, we could easily alert Discord and Nightmare Moon; you know how showy Dash can be when she flies. Plus, what would that accomplish? We’d be leaving Discord and Nightmare Moon all by themselves on this island, which is NOT a good thing. I think we need to stay close to them and not let them out of our sights. As long as one or both are here, then I THINK we’re alright.”

“That doesn’t sound very reassuring, Sparkle,” Trixie growled, “Is that the best plan you’ve got?”

“Princess Celestia is still here, too,” Twilight continued, “Plus, Princess Luna got voted off, so that means she SHOULD have regained her magic, right? As long as Luna is still out there, and Princess Celestia is still here with us, I don’t think we should really be afraid. Panicking isn’t going to help matters; I’ve learned that the hard way, and I don’t want to make that mistake again.”

“Well, if Twilight says that we shouldn’t worry, then I’m not going to worry!” Pinkie giggled, wrapping her forelegs around Twilight’s neck and pulling her into a tight hug, “Twilight is the smartest and most adorable pony in all of Equestria; she’s never wrong! I’ll listen to her no matter what!”

“Yeah…Twilight has saved the world a couple times…with Dash’s help, of course…so, I think we should listen to her.” Scootaloo nodded her head and gave Twilight her support.

“You’re my best friend, darling. I’ll listen to you as well.” Rarity smiled weakly and gave Twilight a little nod of acknowledgement.

“Humph…just be aware, Sparkle,” Trixie warned, “If anything should happen to the likes of Trixie thanks to your decision, you WILL be voted off…or in the very least punished. But, until then, Trixie will have to let you have your way. It’s best if the pressure is all on you anyway.” She gave a devious little smirk, but also gave a nod to show that she was being mostly serious.

“Girls, please, listen to me!” Cheerilee sighed, “All this worry was never needed! I fully believe that Spike simply rigged the votes to get rid of Applejack. Why are you all making such a big deal out of…um, aren’t you listening to me?”

“What’d you say, Miss Cheerilee?” Scootaloo glanced over at her teacher, having been focused on listening to Twilight mutter her thanks to the team’s support of her decision. The rest of the team all finally glanced at Cheerilee as well, giving her the attention that she had wanted from the beginning.

Closing her eyes and expelling a deep, aggravated sigh, Cheerilee just shook her head. “Never mind, girls. It was nothing important. Twilight, you have my support, too; you can count on me for whatever you need, for as long as I remain in this game.” Despite her inner annoyance at never getting taken seriously, the earth pony lifted her head and gave the purple unicorn a warm smile to show that the Magical Misfits were all on the same page.

“Thanks, girls…trust me, when the time comes, I’ll always be by your sides,” Twilight said softly, slowly easing out her left hoof towards the center of the hot tub, “But, game or not, you are all like my family and you girls will always come first. If moving to Ponyville had taught me anything, it was to treasure those around you and be thankful for them every day of your life. Come on…let’s keep pushing forward as strongly as we can…as one!”

“As one!” the other five Magical Misfits cried, putting their own hooves in the middle of the hot tub to join Twilight’s. Cheerilee and Scootaloo nuzzled up against each other, Pinkie giggled and squeezed whatever hooves she was grabbing, and the three unicorns all smiled at one another. For the first time, Trixie looked touched to be included in Twilight’s “family”.

Scootaloo: Yeah! We’re a family and we’re gonna keep winning as a family! Nothing can break us apart! *she blushes slightly, then squirms and fidgets with her hooves* Well, if Rainbow Dash were to become part of this family, that would be even better. *she lets out a little sigh that sounds more like a Fluttershy squeak* Rainbow Dash is SO cool…and now with Applejack gone, I can finally make my move!

Cheerilee: Such camaraderie, after starting out so terrible…it’s a beautiful sight. After being ignored, I realized it was probably a sign that sharing my thoughts on Spike would’ve ruined the warm atmosphere. I’m proud of Trixie on how far she’s come, even though she still has a long way to go…but she’s on the right track! But, Scootaloo… *she sighs and shakes her head* …I fear she’s still backing Rainbow.

Rarity: Yes, we are a family…a rather uncouth and dysfunctional family, but a family nonetheless. I’m glad that my…recent transgressions…have been forgiven by the team. As for the Ruffians, I think Applejack received a favor in getting voted off. Rainbow Dash is simply no good for her at this time; that Pegasus is a completely different pony in this game! *she looks slightly nervous at that confession*

Pinkie: Yay! We are family! We are family! Hurray! *she bounces in place, her mane bouncing as much as the pony was* I had to pull them all in for a group hug afterwards, too. It feels so amazing seeing the team so happy, especially Twilight. *she shyly glances down at the confessional floor* When Twilight is happy, she makes the most adorable expression…it just makes me want to snuggle her!

Trixie: Humph…what a pathetic bunch of foals. Trixie is disgraced to be in their presence! A family? Oh, please…Trixie knows there is no such thing. *she wraps her left foreleg and hoof around her body, as though hugging herself, and her face goes soft* It…it really…made Trixie feel…so very happy…to hear that she was no longer an outcast…and that her team liked her. Are those…just lies…or is this real?

Twilight: Well, I’ve got all the problems covered, should the need arise. I’m keeping my eye on Discord and Nightmare Moon, but for now, I’m focusing on taking care of my team and my friends. Naturally, I’ll be checking on Princess Celestia whenever I can, too. *poking at her horn* To think I could really compete in such horribly tough and weird challenges without my magic…I’m surprised at myself!

“Okay, girls, dry yourselves off and get to bed!” Twilight ordered, entering the Misfits’ cabin and motioning towards the team’s pile of towels, “You all performed admirably today in that brutal challenge, and you all deserve a good night’s rest.”

“Darling, you know perfectly well that you were the one that won us that challenge,” Rarity chuckled, giving her fellow unicorn a nuzzle, “Do not sell yourself short. You deserve as much of a good night’s sleep as the rest of us.”

“Agreed, Sparkle,” Trixie sniffed, “If not for that obnoxious brat of a party pony that you all find hilarious and Trixie finds irritating, Trixie would’ve won. But, she must concede that you indeed outlasted all the others and performed brilliantly. For that, you have…some of Trixie’s respect.”

Rolling her eyes playfully at Trixie’s usual conceited attitude, Twilight Sparkle smiled at her two fellow unicorns and couldn’t help but feel thankful. Not counting Sweetie Belle or Luna, Vinyl Scratch was the only unicorn who had been voted out of the game. Twilight saw that the unicorns were defying the odds and were performing better than expected. Without the use of magic, Twilight had initially feared that she, Rarity and even Trixie would be in a world of trouble. But, here all three of them were, happy and still fighting hard. Their team was on a four-challenge winning streak, and while the Ruffians were in disarray, the Misfits were in perfect sync.

“Thank you, girls…you both should be proud of yourselves, too,” Twilight explained to Trixie and Rarity, “No one gave us unicorns a chance, and yet we’re still here and nothing is going to stop us! I really feel bad that we got rid of Vinyl so early…looking back, Gilda would’ve been a better choice.”

“Can’t argue with THAT logic,” Rarity muttered, “That griffon had about as much manners and kindness as a diamond dog. I do feel bad about sending Vinyl home so early, but…well, nothing that can be done now to change that.”

“Trixie knew that she would get here without the use of her powerful magic,” Trixie bragged, “You should not be so surprised that she is still standing. After all, she is going to win this game and get that million bits. Maybe, if you two beg enough, she will give you five bits each for your troubles.”

Twilight: *shaking her head and rolling her eyes up to the ceiling, but she was smiling* Oh, Trixie…what am I gonna do with you? Sometime, I need to have a one-on-one with you.

“Night-night, Twilight!” Pinkie called out, snuggling down into her bed after giving the purple mare a frantic wave with her foreleg, “See you in the morning! I love you.” She spoke the last words as silently as she could, so much that Twilight didn’t hear them.

“Night, Miss Cheerilee and everypony else,” Scootaloo yawned, crawling into her own bed and giving a lazy wave herself, “Sleep tight…have nice dreams and all that.” The tired little filly soon snuggled down into her pillow and was fast asleep.

“Have a good rest, everypony,” Cheerilee said, ducking under her covers and casting a forlorn glance over towards Scootaloo’s bed, “See you in the morning. May you all stay in good spirits.”

Muttering “goodnights” themselves, Rarity and Trixie both made their way into their cabin bunk beds as well, Rarity performing her usual onceover of the bed before making sure she got tucked in properly. Twilight trotted around the cabin, checking on each of her teammates one last time, as she always did, before heading to her own bed. She knew that she was the leader of her team, and they all looked up to her. Even Trixie, who continued to constantly show defiance and rudeness now and then, realized that it was thanks to a lot of Twilight’s leadership abilities that they had won so much. The purple unicorn also knew that this put a huge target on her back should her team lose again, but she didn’t care. This is what she was born to be.

Stifling a yawn, Twilight lifted back her covers and eased herself down onto her bed. She had gotten used to acting like an earth pony without the use of her magic, and she honestly didn’t mind that much. Sure, it was a lot harder to perform various tasks and she wished every day that she had her beloved magic back, but she was coping as best as she could. A while ago, Twilight made a mental note to make a lesson out of this experience. Discord had removed her horn once before, but it was only for an hour or so. Spending weeks on a camp while performing dangerous, disgusting, creepy and odd challenges without the use of magic was much different, and Twilight was seeing just what life was like while being normal, or simply without magic.

“Trixie…Pinkie…Rarity…” Twilight whispered, laying her head down on her fluffy pillow and glancing over at the silent bedsides of her fellow teammates, “Cheerilee…Scootaloo…I really meant what I said. Discord is putting through this stressful, dangerous, and completely illogical test, possibly to break us and have a good laugh at our expense, but…we are a family. I’ve gotten to know each of you a lot better than I had known before, and I’m very glad for that.” As the unicorn closed her eyes to let the sands of slumber take her, she gave a weak smile. “No matter what the challenge, love and friendship will always find a way through.”

Pinkie: *sleepwalking, as always, she hugs her body as she rocks back and forth on the toilet, apparently having a good dream as evident to the smile on her snoozing face* Family…friendship and love…cupcakes and sprinkles…oatmeal…kumquats and pickle barrels…Twilight and Pinkie, together forever…don’t you dare break a Pinkie Promise…or else Pinkie gets red in the head…hehe…hehehe…

“Ah, another night, another great flight!” Rainbow Dash crowed, patting her chest as she settled down towards the Ruffians’ cabin, “I’ve almost got the entire island memorized! Man I’m good!”

“Evening, Dash.”

Rainbow Dash froze as she heard the commanding voice speak to her from the darkness. She quickly snapped out of her trance and got into a defensive stance, her eyes bearing down into a glare as she tried to find the speaker. From the dark corner of the Royal Ruffians’ cabin, Spike stepped out of the shadows with his arms crossed, his eyes locked onto the Pegasus. When she saw that it was only Spike, Rainbow relaxed her body, but her glare stayed plastered on her face.

“Hey, Spike. To what do I owe this pleasure, hmm? You going to apologize for calling me a coward?”

“No. I was going to tell you that you’d better start shaping up, because even if you succeed in getting me out, you can’t win a game where you act like a jerk.” Spike stepped right up to the angry Pegasus, smirking a little as he kept staring at her magenta eyes. “Have you learned anything from Applejack being unfairly voted out?”

“What’s THAT supposed to mean?” Rainbow Dash snapped, stomping closer and shoving her face into Spike’s, attempting to intimidate him, “Are you threatening me?”

Not backing down, Spike stayed firm as he pushed his face right back into Dash’s. “Not in the least. I was just seeing if you learned anything, that’s all. Don’t you feel like you should maybe…oh, I don’t know…apologize for getting rid of Silver Spoon when she clearly didn’t deserve it?”

“Look, Spike, I’m sorry you picked the wrong girl to fall in love with, but this is a game for a bunch of money, not to mention becoming famous. A little filly like that would’ve hurt us more than help us during the long haul. The team did what had to be done.”

Spike seemed to emit a small hiss from deep in his throat, his reptilian tongue flickering out as his eyes flashed dangerously. When Dash didn’t back down, he clenched his fists and pushed his face to within an inch of Rainbow’s. “Well, I guess sending Applejack away was what ‘had to be done’ as well then. You reap what you sow, Rainbow Dash.”

“Get out of my face, dragon boy.”

“Why don’t you make me?”

The Pegasus and baby dragon both continued to glare into the other’s pupils, their teeth clenched and their bodies etched into positions that indicated they desired nothing more than to attack the one staring them down. The scales on Spike’s back and head curved into an arc with each passing second, his eyes flashing as he glared at Rainbow Dash, the same look a hungry lion would give a wounded deer. Rainbow Dash’s mane puffed out as sweat dribbled down her face and her wings became ruffled; the longer she and Spike glared each other down, the more frazzled the Pegasus’ body became.

Eventually, Dash was the one to break the glare-down as she stuck her muzzle into the air. “You’re not worth my time.”

“I was about to the same the same to you,” Spike said in disgust, watching as Rainbow Dash pushed open the Ruffians’ cabin door and casually stomped inside.

“Hey…a piece of advice…I’d stay out of my way if I were you,” Rainbow Dash said coldly, glancing over her right shoulder as she observed the dragon never taking his eyes off her, “I’m not one to be trifled with, little dragon. I may be the element of loyalty, but this is a whole different game than the one that we play in the outside world. What happens on this island STAYS on this island, but I’m not the same girl as I am in Ponyville. One last warning, Spike: stay out of my way. Don’t mess with me.” She slammed the door to the cabin shut with her hind leg, leaving a seething dragon in her wake.

“The same applies to you, Rainbow Dash…the same applies to you,” Spike growled, slowly stalking off to have some alone time.

Rainbow Dash: Okay, when we get home and the thoughts of fame and fortune are behind me, I’ll probably regret this. But, you know what? That dragon is cruising for a bruising! *she cracks her hooved knuckles, then cracks her neck, all while giving the camera an evil sneer* And, I’m just the Pegasus to give it to him! Once I’m through with him, he’s gonna wish he had never tangled with Rainbow Dash!

Spike: You know, I almost felt guilty going to war with one of Twilight’s best friends. Trust me, I’m a lover, not a fighter! But, all the same… *he cracks his own knuckles, then attempts to give an evil laugh, which only led to him coughing* Ugh…need to work on my evil laugh…but, as I was saying, Dash didn’t seem to get the hint with AJ going home. So, nothing personal, but this dragon is taking that mare down!

Rainbow Dash sniffed in displeasure as she thought about how to take Spike down and show him that you never mess with the element of loyalty, glancing over and seeing Fluttershy already softly squeaking in her deep slumber. The cyan mare grinned to herself as she contemplated a plan on how to get rid of Spike. She knew that Fluttershy would always stick by her, no matter what. For one, the yellow mare was too nervous to dare go against her. For two, the pair had known each other since Flight School, so they were closer than two peas in a pod. Dash giggled to herself; her friendship with most of the other players in the game was going to work wonders for her.

“Sleep well, my little Fluttershy…your good friend Rainbow Dash will keep you safe, don’t worry,” Dash cooed, her voice piercing the silence of the cabin as she admired her fellow Pegasus from afar, “And, in return, you’re gonna take me to the end. Don’t worry, though; I’ll give you a cut of my winnings once I get there. Not too much, but some.” She giggled to herself once more before hopping up onto her bed. The absence of Princess Celestia didn’t bother her; in fact, she was rather glad that the princess wasn’t there. Dash felt more comfortable without the presence of royalty.

Fluttershy shivered in her sleep, whispering something under her breath as her dreams invaded her fragile mind. As Rainbow Dash cuddled up under her covers, she took one last look over at her friend. For a split-second, Rainbow Dash almost saw a chest with a million bits lying in the bed instead of the yellow mare. Letting a sigh escape her lips, the cyan mare turned back the other way and slowly allowed her eyes to flutter shut. She didn’t care about Spike, or even Princess Celestia for that matter. She had a plan for winning this game and proving how amazing she was, and nothing was going to stop her.

Outside on the quiet campgrounds, Spike was the only living soul that the cameras could catch. The dragon was pacing back and forth on the shoreline of the beach, holding a clawed finger to his chin as he tried to think of a plan on how to finalize his revenge against Rainbow Dash. The dragon had no personal vendetta against the Pegasus, but at the moment, he desired nothing more than to see her lose and take the Boat of Losers away in a humiliating, shameful departure that would avenge Zecora, Silver Spoon, and even Sweetie Belle. He didn’t even care about winning the million bit prize as much as he wanted to see Dash lose and to make her learn a valuable lesson about humility and TRUE loyalty. Above all, Spike wanted to make sure no one else had to suffer the same fate that Silver Spoon had to endure.

As the dragon continued to pace deep into the night, Princess Celestia stalked around the shadows of the cabins as she tried to stay hidden. She had memorized the camp layout, so she knew where Discord and Nightmare Moon’s private cabin was located. The two hosts shared a cabin they called home during the game on Calamity Island, isolated on the north end of the campgrounds, away from all the campers but still in a prime spot to watch everything that unfolded. It was almost like a prison watchtower, able to see anything from its secluded area. The cabin was Celestia’s designated destination.

“I’m going to find out what you’re plotting, Discord,” the tiny princess hissed, leaping out of the moonlight as she made it to the back of the mess hall, “Ugh, Luna…your moonbeams can be SO frustrating sometimes.” Knowing that she could either use her wings to fly to the hosts’ cabin, or just rush straight through the open field between the mess hall and the building. Either way seemed dangerous, and Celestia knew that she could be caught rather easily if she wasn’t careful. Her sleek white body made her stand out like a lamb in a crowd of wolves.

Celestia: I knew I was playing with fire, but with or without magic and small or big, I’m STILL the princess of Equestria. It was high time I did some investigating to find out Discord’s true plans. I can’t just fly away from the island and desert Twilight and her friends; what kind of princess would I be if I did something so cowardly? But, all the same, Discord’s plans are going to be revealed soon, believe me!

Throwing caution to the wind, Celestia took a deep breath and carefully lowered herself down as far as she could to the ground. When she made herself as small as possible, she began streaking through the grassy field between the mess hall and Discord’s cabin as quickly as she could. It was very awkward moving in such a way, and Celestia couldn’t help but wince at having to maneuver so fleetingly. She still wasn’t used to her shrunken legs, and the strain of stalking in such a lowered manner put a strain on her lower back, but no one seemed to notice her. The campgrounds remained silent and no animated floodlights or other crazy contraptions via Discord ended up appearing above the host’s cabin.

“Yes…I made it!” Celestia wheezed, soon reaching Discord’s cabin and giving a weary grin, “Now, time to find out what you’ve got going on in here, Discord. Oh, and Nightmare Moon as well.” Very carefully, Celestia etched her way around the side of the cabin, heading towards the dark window on the western side of the small wooden building. When the small princess arrived at the window, she nimbly stood up on her hind legs and peered inside. Past the glass of the window, Celestia frowned when she realized that she couldn’t see anything. It was far too dark.

When she tried to move her face even closer to the glass, straining her neck to get a better angle, the window suddenly turned white and Celestia quickly moved her head away in alarm. What she now found on the outside of the window was a small, white poster with Discord’s grinning face plastered in the middle. The words: “Hello, Celestia!” were printed in big, black letters on the top. On the bottom of Discord’s picture was a small, black bomb. Even though the deadly object was seemingly nothing more than a part of the poster, the lit fuse that was slowly vanishing with each passing millisecond and the loud hissing sound that was now echoing right in front of Celestia’s face made it known that this was not just a painted piece of artwork. Celestia’s face slowly paled.

“Oh…um, what is it younger ponies say nowadays? Oh, right…oh, horsefeathers.”

A moment later, the painted picture of the bomb exploded right in Celestia’s face, blasting her and making her sail away from the cabin. She tried to scream, but the black dust from the explosion made her choke and she couldn’t get anything out of her throat besides coughs. As the princess sailed over the top of the mess hall and towards her team’s cabin, she could’ve sworn she heard Discord’s piercing laugh echoing in the night air. Or, it might’ve just been another effect from the bomb. Either way, when Celestia eventually splatted against the side of the Royal Ruffians’ cabin, she knew the pain she felt wasn’t make-believe and that her newly-charred body wasn’t a mirage. Interestingly enough, the loud explosion didn’t seem to be heard by the rest of the camp, as no one came out to investigate. So, when Celestia eventually let out a pathetic whimper of pain and ended up peeling off the side of her team’s cabin, she realized she’d be on the ground for a while.

Celestia: *her white body now completely black, similar to Luna’s, and a few makeshift bandages and casts appearing on a few of her body parts* Discord…will soon face…my anger and wrath…once I get ahold of him…and Nightmare Moon. *she coughed and spat out some soot, then a piece of wood from the top of the confessional broke off, struck her in the head, and knocked her unconscious*

After the eventful night, the well-rested Magical Misfits eventually flowed out of their cabin in high spirits. Rainbow Dash burst out of her team’s cabin almost right at the crack of dawn and went for her usual morning flight. Spike had slept on the beach, not wanting to be near the remains of his team, and was only awoken when a seagull landed on his head and tried to peck off one of his scales. Fluttershy was a little scared waking up in an empty cabin, and was even more scared when she trotted outside and found a blackened Celestia lying lifeless on the ground. It didn’t take long until Nurse Fluttershy was once again on the scene.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no…this is bad, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad!” Fluttershy stammered, carrying the moaning Princess Celestia on her backside as she entered the showers in her nurse outfit, “Okay, calm down, Fluttershy…you can do this. She’s just a pony…like all your friends…who also happens to be the princess of Equestria, that’s all. No pressure…no pressure at all.” She gently laid the still princess inside the broken shower stall the two mares had used not so long ago, before turning on the showerhead and switching the water to warm.

Princess Celestia’s moans began to increase as she felt the warm water start to wash away the dry soot etched onto her body, the remnants of last night’s explosive punishment still haunting her dreams. Fluttershy very gently scrubbed and washed the princess as best as she could with the washrag she found, being careful to not harm the princess’ wings. The yellow mare was incredibly nervous treating the princess like this, but all she was concerned about was making sure she was better. She didn’t know what happened, but she didn’t care. She would always be there to help out a pony or animal in need.

Fluttershy: *her face slightly blackened from how hard she worked to clean and care for Celestia* Oh my…that was…kinda new for me. I’ve never really done…something like that…for another pony before. I don’t know how the poor princess got like that, but…I hope she’s okay now. I treated her wounds, which weren’t too severe, and cleaned her up really nice. I hope she’s not mad at me now.

“So…explain to me again exactly WHAT you’re talking about Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash frowned, pushing open the mess hall door and leading the campers inside, “What happened to the princess?”

“I have no idea, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy sighed, getting slightly annoyed with having to constantly explain herself, “I found her in pain outside our cabin, covered in soot and bruises, so I had to go and treat her. I think my nursing skills are really paying off.”

“Right…” Dash raised an eyebrow at the Pegasus, but simply shrugged and decided to leave well enough alone. “Eh, at least the princess is better now, right? You doing alright, Princess?” She cast a glance behind her back, watching as Spike and Celestia soon filed inside, followed by the Magical Misfits, all of whom had taken a morning dip in their hot tub before deciding to head to breakfast.

“I am fine, Rainbow Dash, thank you,” Celestia said coolly, her body looking to be the same as always. Fluttershy’s hooves had worked wonders on her in such little time; the princess was eternally grateful to the Pegasus. She decided to keep her actions from last night a secret; there was no reason alerting the ponies and Spike to what she was doing. Plus, the less that they knew the better; Celestia didn’t want to worry her subjects. It was bad enough Discord apparently knew what she was doing and had set one of his annoying traps for her before she even got to his cabin. She would have to work harder to find out his motives, if there were any.

“So, what’s for eats?” Pinkie asked, bouncing inside a moment later with a slightly-damp mane, “Are we getting some black oatmeal again? It really does a number on the tummy, but it really tastes nice if you eat enough of it. I think six bowls usually makes the bitter flavor go away?”

Twilight: Pinkie Pie is such a medical mystery. She can get sick from eating a cupcake with earthworms inside of it, but yet she can down anything that Nightmare Moon makes without even cringing or getting a bellyache. *she scratches her head, looking slightly intrigued* She’s so interesting. Every time I think I know her, she continues to leave me baffled. What’s really inside that brain of hers?

“Funny you should ask that, Pinkie Pie,” Discord’s voice rang out through the empty mess hall. Almost the instant he was done talking, the mess hall door slammed shut and locked behind the campers’ backs, causing several of them to jump in fright. They still hadn’t gotten used to Discord’s annoying antics. The draconequus appeared a second later in front of the 10 campers, a wide-rimmed grin stretched out onto his face. “Today, I have a little treat in store for you girls…and Spike.”

“It’s SO nice to get noticed,” Spike grumbled, glaring at Rainbow Dash when he heard the Pegasus snicker in amusement.

“I am pleased to announce that you 10 have reached the halfway point of the game, so congratulations on making it this far!” Discord went on, floating over to the campers and giving a few of them unnerving pats on the head or tickles under the chin, “That is why, as your reward for today, no one is up for elimination! However, don’t let that get you complacent; the challenge for today has a wicked reward in store for the winner, so it’s worth fighting for!”

“What’s the reward, Discord?” Rainbow Dash demanded, “If I don’t like the sound of it, I’m not gonna play your game. If I’m not up for elimination, there’s no reason to waste my amazing skills on a pointless challenge for a stupid reward that doesn’t tickle my fancy.”

“Yeah, what Rainbow Dash said!” Scootaloo echoed, eagerly standing up tall and trying to make herself stand out for siding the blue Pegasus. All she got was a few glares from Trixie, Rarity and Spike, not to mention a sigh and a look of disappointment from Cheerilee.

“Oh, very well, since you’re being such a brat about it, I may as well inform you what you’ll be playing for today.” Discord rolled his eyes, then snapped his fingers as a movie projector appeared in front of the campers. Another snap of his fingers caused an overhead screen to appear. When the draconequus flicked on the projector, several pictures began to roll past on the white screen.

“For whoever wins today’s challenge, that lucky contestant or contestants will receive an all-expense paid trip on a luxurious airship, the newest and largest model just crafted in Canterlot. For one whole week, they will get to tour the skies of Equestria while being treated to lavish trips to an onboard spa, a buffet with food NOT made by Nightmare Moon, dancing and music and other forms of entertainment, beautiful and comfortable beds made from the finest carpenters in all the land, being able to get away from this island for an entire week, AND get free treatments for whatever possible symptoms they might contract during today’s challenge. So, what do you think? Is this a prize worth fighting for?”

Rarity: Oh my stars and garters! What a WONDERFUL prize! *her eyes began to sparkle as she placed her hooves together, looking up at the top of the confessional in a whimsical, dreamy sense* To be treated to daily trips to a spa, whenever I choose, not to mention the finest food, beds, AND varying forms of entertainment? While on the best model of airship from Canterlot? FOR FREE? I feel I may faint!

Rainbow Dash: Eh, it could’ve been better…but, still, a week away from this crummy place? Plus, I get all the free food and free entertainment that I could ask for? Yeah, I’m down with that. Once I win the challenge today, a luxurious airship ride is only fit for the greatest flier in all of Equestria. *she grins, then flexes her muscles a bit* Man, from a Canterlot airship…looking down on everypony else…priceless.

“Ooh, this does sound like a reward fit for a mare like Trixie!” Trixie sighed dreamily, rubbing her hooves together as she thought about riding on the airship, “Trixie cannot wait to get started!” The rest of the campers all shared Trixie’s excited and dreamy expression, to the point of a few of them even starting to drool. Discord had to snap his fingers to reclaim their attention.

“Exciting, yes? So, are you all ready to hear about what the challenge is about?” the host asked, crossing his arms and looking deviously excited about what was going to happen.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Twilight. “Wait a second…you mentioned that, during the airship cruise, we’d get treatments for ‘whatever possible symptoms we may contract during today’s challenge’, right? So…er…just what did that entail?”

Discord’s grin stretched even wider as he watched the happy smiles slowly slip away from the campers’ faces after hearing Twilight’s concerns. His eyes sparkled with his usual playful, chaotic flair as he twiddled his clawed fingers together in his favorite devious manner. “I guess we’re going to find out in a few minutes, aren’t we, my dear Twilight?”

“I really don’t like the sound of this at all,” Celestia growled, locking eyes with Discord and shooting him a silent threat about what had happened last night.

“Come now, Celestia, you should know that nothing comes easy in life,” Discord scolded, “Big prizes and big rewards are only gained through hard work and tough challenges. You didn’t really think that you would get this luxurious reward just for doing something easy, did you?”

“Is that a trick question?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head.

Ignoring Pinkie, Discord licked his lips and stared down the 10 nervous campers. “Okay, first thing’s first. This challenge is going to be different than all the others. Spike, you go over there.” Discord pointed to the stunned baby dragon and then motioned for him to head to the right side of the mess hall to sit at what was formally known as the Magical Misfits’ table. “All you ladies please go and sit at the other table, alright?”

“Um…okay then…” Spike gulped, nervously walking away from the nine females and heading towards the table all by himself. The nine ponies eyed one another curiously, wondering just where this was going, but they all followed Discord’s instructions anyway. Deep down, Rainbow Dash was thrilled to be away from Spike, whereas Fluttershy was happy to be with her old friends again and Celestia was thrilled to see Twilight. None of the girls seemed upset at having Spike sit by himself.

“Wow, this is so cool! Hi Dashie! Hi Fluttershy! Hi Princess!” Pinkie cheered, giving each of the three former Royal Ruffian girls a big hug as they momentarily joined forces at what used to be the Royal Ruffians’ mess hall table. “It’s so nice to be sitting altogether as one team! No offense, Spike.”

“None taken, Pinkie,” Spike grumbled, sitting in the middle of his own large table with his arms crossed, looking very irritable as he stared at the nine girls all grinning at him from across the room.

“I suppose you’re all wondering why you’ve been split up,” Discord mused, now standing at the front of the mess hall, leaning against the wall as he idly watched the girls socialize and Spike sulk, “Well, we’re going to have a good old fashioned battle of the sexes today, and…since Spike is the only male…I’m afraid that means he has to play by himself.”

“WHAT?!?!” All 10 campers looked beyond stunned at this news. Even though it had been somewhat obvious that Spike would have to face all nine girls in whatever the day’s challenge was, they hadn’t exactly come to realization of that fact until Discord informed them of it. Immediately, numerous protests began to be shouted out across the room.

“That’s not fair! Depending on the challenge, there’s only one of him, but nine of us!”

“I can’t possibly beat all nine of those girls! There’s Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Princess Celestia…”

“You can’t do this, Discord! This is totally unfair!”

“Spike is clearly going to beat us when it’s just him over there!”

“Those girls are gonna cream me! I can’t win a whole challenge by myself!”

Discord pulled out Nightmare Moon’s bullhorn and pulled the trigger. As soon as the horrendous earsplitting sound shook the mess hall, all the complaints and protests were silenced, drowned out and replaced with shrieks of pain. A few moments later, Discord snickered and tossed the bullhorn behind his back. “Now that you all had your fun whining about my rules, I can actually explain what the challenge is. Don’t worry; I planned this out so that this should be a fair fight.”

“I doubt that,” Rainbow Dash snapped, exchanging dirty looks with Spike from across the room.

“Your challenge today is going to be a special cupcake-eating contest!” Discord finally announced, throwing his hands up into the air as though he had just revealed something exciting. When all he was greeted with was annoyed silence from the 10 campers, he coughed and weakly put his hands back down. “Eh-hem…yes, well…trust me, these are no ordinary cupcakes that you all are about to consume.”

“What do you mean? Cupcakes are cupcakes!” Pinkie smiled, “Unless they’re not cupcakes, which would mean they’re something else entirely, like pickles or cumquats or muffins or watermelons or apples or oranges or sandwiches or…”

Twilight quickly stuck a hoof over Pinkie’s mouth. “We get the point, Pinkie.” Despite her mouth being covered, Pinkie continued to talk into Twilight’s hoof, leading to the unicorn giving a quick sigh.

“As I was saying, these cupcakes are VERY unique,” Discord continued, “Here’s how this will work. Using the 10 special types of cupcakes Nightmare Moon created, each ‘team’ will have to eat the cupcake that they are given. However, you cannot just stuff the whole thing into your mouth and gulp it down. To add a little twist, you must take at LEAST two bites of your cupcake. Spike, since you’re by yourself and that gives you an advantage, you must eat TWO of each cupcake, which would technically mean four bites minimum for you.”

“Regardless, this still doesn’t seem that hard,” Spike grinned, feeling a lot better about his chances, “What’s so bad about eating cupcakes? And I’m totally fine with not eating them all in one bite.”

“Well, you say that now, but wait until I explain what type of cupcakes they are,” Discord smirked, “You see, we couldn’t just allow you campers to eat normal old cupcakes; that would be too easy. So, putting our heads together, Nightmare Moon and I came up with an amazing idea! Campers, all 10 types of cupcakes are specially made to resemble and describe…you campers!”

“Uh…come again?” Rarity blinked, “I don’t think I fully understand what you’re saying, Discord.”

“I think it’s best if I just start the challenge and we’ll go from there.” Discord walked over to the mess hall kitchen door and gave it a little knock. Almost immediately, Nightmare Moon pushed her way out, carrying a tray of weird-shaped cupcakes on her back. Each cupcake was nearly double the size of a normal cupcake, and each sweet seemed to have weird-shaped lumps protruding from all directions. Using her magical horn, Nightmare Moon levitated two of the cupcakes over to Spike, and one to each of the other nine girls. Upon further inspecting, the tops of each cupcake had a colorful, edible sticker of a book stuck to it.

“Good luck, campers,” Nightmare Moon snickered, her eyes lighting up in delight, “You’re going to need it, believe me.”

“So…what’s so bad about this?” Scootaloo asked, curiously sniffing at the cupcake placed in front of her, “It looks weird, but it seems to be like any other cupcake. What’s with the picture of the book on the top, though?”

“To score a point for your team, you must eat your required cupcake or cupcakes with the amount of bites I informed you about, while at the same time hoping the other team chickens out and doesn’t eat theirs,” Discord explained, “At the end of ten rounds, the winning team will be whichever side has eaten more cupcakes than the others.” He still didn’t answer Scootaloo’s question.

“Okay, sure, why not?” Spike shrugged, picking up one of the cupcakes in front of him. “Two bites minimum, right? I got this.” All the girls, including Discord and Nightmare Moon, watched as Spike was the first to demonstrate the true essence of the cupcakes. The dragon sank his fangs into his cupcake and ripped off a huge chunk, his tongue pulling the chunky bits of the treat into his mouth as he began to chew. Almost immediately, however, his eyes shot open and he dropped the cupcake, proceeding to make loud hacking sounds while clenching his throat.

“SPIKE! WHAT’S WRONG?!?!” Twilight screamed, sitting bolt upright in her seat as she stared across at her choking assistant, “DISCORD, WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!?!” In response, Discord pointed to the half-eaten cupcake that Spike had dropped. A few bits of paper fluttered out of the crust and settled onto the table. Thanks to Spike’s hacking, a few bits also were launched out of his mouth as well.

“As I stated, each cupcake that you will have to eat is made in commemoration of each of you campers!” Discord gushed, trying to sound cute. “The first batch of cupcakes that you all have in front of yourselves? Twilight Sparkle’s ‘book cupcakes’!”

Rainbow Dash: Oh, you CANNOT be serious. *she gives herself a face-hoof*

Pinkie: I’m not so sure about these types of cupcakes…but, maybe they’ll be good?

Spike: *still hacking* I think my tongue has a paper cut on it!

Twilight: *staring at the camera, dumbfounded* Twilight…Sparkle’s…book…cupcakes?

“That’s right, campers!” Discord laughed, enjoying watching each of his campers’ faces turn to sheer horror and disgust, “Each cupcake has a special ‘ingredient’ or two that makes them unique to the camper that they were made to commemorate!”

“YOU RIPPED UP BOOKS TO MAKE CUPCAKES?!?!” Twilight screamed, nearly pulling her hair out as she stared down at the cupcake in front of her, “How…how…HOW COULD YOU?!?! YOU MONSTERS!”

“Thank you, my dear Twilight, we do so enjoy compliments.” Discord laughed again as he and Nightmare Moon winked at one another, fully enjoying seeing Twilight freaking out and knowing that this was only the beginning of their fun. Spike still had one and half of Twilight’s book cupcakes to eat, after having forcibly swallowed the first bite of the first cupcake after only hacking up a few pieces of paper. The team of girls, however, didn’t look like they wanted to touch their cupcakes at all.

Trixie: After seeing her team look hesitant, Trixie knew she had to give them a little… *she shivered a bit*…encouragement. There was no way she was missing out on that free airship cruise!

“Come on, you foals, stop this pouting at once!” Trixie barked, picking up her cupcake with her two hooves and glaring at her team, “We can do this! Just pretend you are eating a regular cupcake and think of the paper as sprinkles.”

“Sprinkles? Okie dokie lokie, Trixie!” Pinkie shrugged, picking up her own cupcake and taking a huge bite. She very nearly ate the entire treat in one gulp, but thankfully she remembered what Discord had said and left just a tiny piece still in her hooves. Even though she gave a few grimaces of disgust, she soon swallowed down her first bite of cupcake, and then quickly gulped down her remaining piece as well.

“Excellent! Now, the rest of you do the same,” Trixie ordered, taking a bite herself out of her cupcake.

“I can’t…I can’t eat pieces of a book!” Twilight moaned, holding her head in her hooves and looking miserable, “That’d be like Rarity eating one of her dresses! I just can’t do it.”

Cheerilee and Scootaloo both looked at one another, then nervously followed Trixie and Pinkie’s example. Rarity looked repulsed and ready to push her cupcake away, but after a glare from Rainbow Dash, she nimbly picked up the treat and gingerly took a bite. Rainbow Dash herself forced down her cupcake in two quick bites, burping and expelling a few bites of paper right after she did so. Fluttershy took a bit of coaxing from the cyan Pegasus, but the scared mare eventually ate her cupcake as well. Celestia didn’t seem to have a big problem with eating hers, but after seeing Twilight scared to each pieces of a book, she consoled her.

“Now, my faithful student, don’t be scared,” the small princess whispered, wrapping a foreleg around Twilight’s neck and gently pulling her into a hug, “It’ll be alright. The book is already ripped up and baked into these cupcakes; what good would wasting them be? Besides, do you want their, um, ‘sacrifice’ to go to waste?”

Twilight sniffed a bit, looking to the side and seeing her princess’ warm eyes staring back at her. “N-no, I guess not…” She looked down at her cupcake, and seeing that she was the only one left on her team to not eat it, she gulped and nervously picked it up. “Well…okay…I’ll give this cupcake and the poor pieces of book lodged inside the burial they deserve!” She opened her mouth, and after two quick bites, she devoured the cupcake and the pieces of paper.

Over on the opposite side of the room, Spike was whining and rubbing the paper cut he had sustained on his tongue. He also kept hacking and spitting up a tiny piece of paper almost every other minute. Even though he usually ate anything, he didn’t want to try eating paper again. He never even ate Twilight’s books, even though he seriously wanted to sometimes. Besides, after years of belching out Twilight and Celestia’s friendship reports, he was sick of paper being in his mouth. The dragon sighed, but pushed his book cupcakes away in defeat.

“First round goes to…the girls!” Discord announced, pointing to the team of nine ponies. The girls instantly cheered and formed a group hug, while Spike groused and glared at the team with anger. He hated watching Rainbow Dash celebrating. He couldn’t let her humiliated him like this.

“Thanks for the support, Trix,” Twilight smiled, giving Trixie a little nuzzle, “And thank YOU, Princess, for giving me the little push I needed.”

“All in a day’s work, Sparkle,” Trixie sniffed, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks at the surprising nuzzle, “Just make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“You’re very welcome, Twilight,” Celestia added, grinning a bit, “Anything for you.”

Twilight: That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be! *she licked her lips, then glanced down at her stomach and poked at it* Hmm…if I’m not mistaken…I ate pieces of a book on…wildflowers!

“Next on the menu…Spike’s ‘gemstone cupcakes’!” Nightmare Moon levitated the next batch of 11 cupcakes over to the 10 campers, which had a massive difference in reactions between both teams. All nine girls looked grim as they stared down at their cupcakes with bits of strong gems poking out the sides, while Spike looked like he was in heaven.

“Discord, this isn’t fair!” Rarity cried, “We cannot eat gemstones! We don’t have the fangs that Spike has. If we dare try to eat these, we’ll break our teeth or get our throats cut up!”

“Sorry, but that’s not my problem,” Discord shrugged, “What represents Spike? Gemstones. So, just because it happens to be something that’s virtually inedible isn’t my problem. Do your best, ladies.”

“Yup, do your best!” Spike called out, licking his lips after just finishing off both of his gemstone cupcakes, greedily eying the nine that were now sitting across the room from him. “Say, Discord, if they don’t eat theirs, could I possibly…?”

“Hmm…nope!”

“Jerk.”

All nine ponies looked very nervous as they looked down at their cupcakes. Even Pinkie and Trixie knew enough to not attempt to eat a gemstone. Swallowing something whole could result in a damaged throat, while attempting to chew them would only result in busted teeth. They all realized that they had absolutely no shot in this round of the cupcake-eating challenge. Rainbow Dash, however, decided to give it a go anyway. Like Spike with her, she couldn’t stand seeing him get a win over her.

“Aw, c’mon, if that dragon can eat these things, then they can’t be THAT bad,” Dash bragged, picking up her cupcake. She slowly raised it to her mouth.

“Wait, Dash, don’t!” Fluttershy cried, “Gemstones are made with a very high density that our pony teeth simply cannot…” However, her warning came too late. A second later, Rainbow Dash tried biting down into her cupcake, and instantly shrieked in pain and dropped the pastry onto the floor. She clutched her mouth in deep pain and looked ready to start thrashing around if Fluttershy hadn’t quickly wrapped her forelegs around her and held her friend to try and soothe the pain. Spike was barely containing his laughter from his own table.

“Second round goes to…the boys! Or…rather, Spike.” Discord pointed over to the happy dragon. “This leave us tied at one apiece, with eight rounds still to go!”

Spike: *holding back his head as he roared with laughter* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my gosh, that was AWESOME! Dash got what she deserved! *whimpers a bit* But...she wasted some perfectly good gemstones.

“Next up, we’ve got…Rarity’s ‘clothing cupcakes’!” Nightmare Moon levitated the third batch of cupcakes to the 10 contestants, all of which had bits of various clothing sticking out the sides this time.

“CLOTHING?!?!” Rarity gasped, looking down at the cupcake in front of her like it was a ticking time bomb, “No, no, no, no, no! Absolutely not! I will NOT eat clothing! Do you all not realize just what type of love and passion goes into making clothes? I refuse to eat this!” She stubbornly pushed her cupcake away and stuck her nose into the air.

“Rarity, the clothing is basically already destroyed,” Twilight pointed out, shocked to find herself on the side of aggressor instead of scared victim for once, “Please, try to eat it for the team?”

“Ah…how delectable!” The girls all glanced over to the other side of the room, and were shocked to find that Spike had once again already devoured his two cupcakes and was licking his lips in delight. “They taste just like the discarded pieces of fabric that Rarity tells me to throw out when I help her out with errands, but I secretly keep all to myself!” Spike rubbed at his stomach and hiccupped, licking off a piece of ripped fabric on his left fang. When he saw the girls all giving him creeped-out looks, he titled his head. “What?”

“Hmm…let’s see…” Pinkie tried her own clothing cupcake and giggled a moment later. “Ooh, it tasted like my bed sheet back home! I accidentally ate my sheet one night when I was dreaming I was eating a giant pancake. I woke up really cold and without my bed sheet, and my tummy was hurting, so I put one and two together and realized that I didn’t eat a giant pancake at all but I ate my bed sheet! Aww, it was so sad…I loved that sheet, too. But, sadly, my tummy and my mouth wanted it more, I suppose.”

“So THAT’S why you wanted me to make you a bed sheet,” Rarity muttered, giving Pinkie a strange look.

“Yuppers! So, you going to try your cupcake, Rarity?”

“Um…no, I’m afraid not, darling. I simply cannot allow myself to eat clothing.” Rarity shook her head and pushed her cupcake away from her.

“Rarity, I had to eat some pieces of a book!” Twilight protested.

“And I got myself a chipped tooth!” Rainbow Dash snapped, still clutching her mouth, since the pain just wouldn’t go away after her stupid decision to attempt to eat one of Spike’s gemstone cupcakes.

“NO!” Rarity snapped, her stubbornness pushing forward, “I simply cannot think about putting anything in my mouth that has to do with clothing.”

“In that case…third round goes to Spike!” Discord announced, motioning towards the dragon, “That makes the score 2-1 in favor of the little dragon!” Spike was left cheering and doing lame poses at hearing he had taken the lead, while Rarity was left the ire of the rest of her team.

Rarity: Do not judge me. Twilight might’ve been coerced into eating pieces of books, but clothing is my life, and to eat clothing would mean to disrespect my life’s passion. I simply cannot do that.

“Time for my personal favorite batch of tasty treats…the Celestia ‘troll cupcakes’!” Discord went on with round four, smirking as Nightmare Moon levitated the new cupcakes to the 10 campers. Celestia immediately frowned at hearing what Discord said.

“Excuse me, Discord?” she snapped, looking down at the rather ugly brown cupcake in front of her, “Just what is ‘troll cupcake’ supposed to indicate? How does that relate to me?”

Choosing to ignore Celestia, for the most part, Discord went on to explain precisely what was inside the cupcakes. “This batch was made with some of the grossest, most disgusting and annoying things that Nightmare Moon and myself could find!”

“You mean that I could find while you laid in your hammock and slumbered like a baby,” Nightmare Moon corrected the draconequus.

“Right, what did I say?”

“Well…I guess we won’t know what’s in this batch of cupcakes until we try, right?” Cheerilee said jokingly, trying to sound positive. The teacher picked up her cupcake first and took a bite. She chewed a few times before swallowing. The rest of the team, including Spike, waited to see what Celestia’s troll cupcakes had in store for the rest of them.

“So, Miss Cheerilee?” Scootaloo asked, “What’s in there?”

Cheerilee cringed a little bit, but gave a weak smile. “Um…I think I tasted dirt…and dust…and sand…and a little bit of grease and possibly sawdust?” She hacked a little bit, but continued to try and keep her very strained smile on her face, since she wanted to stay strong for Scootaloo.

“Come on, ladies, we simply cannot allow that little simpleton of a dragon beat us!” Trixie hissed, picking up her troll cupcake and taking a vicious bite, “Let’s show him our fortitude!”

“You said it, Trixie!” Rainbow Dash added, following suit and taking a big bite, and almost immediately regretting it. Inside of her cupcake was a tiny rock, which she ended up sinking her chipped tooth into, inflicting more pain than ever upon her sore mouth.

“My cupcake has gravel in it!”

“My cupcake has mold in it!”

“My cupcake has…a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala in it? Oh, wait, make that TWO tickets.”

When Spike attempted to eat his own troll cupcakes, an earthworm suddenly crawled out of the top of the cupcake and instantly shot straight up the dragon’s nose. He immediately ran screaming and hacking from the mess hall, since the door had been unlocked. Loud snorts and other random noises could be heard from outside the eatery as all the girls, Discord and Nightmare Moon couldn’t help laughing at Spike’s hilarious plight. Even through her aching tooth, Rainbow Dash snickered as well.

“Fourth round goes to…the girls!” Discord soon announced as Nightmare Moon went to go assist Spike with his earthworm problem, “We’re all tied up at 2-2, folks! What’s going to happen next, I wonder?”

Celestia: I STILL want to know what Discord meant by that. What was the meaning of making troll cupcakes? I find that insulting. And what was with the Grand Galloping Gala tickets? Was that a shot?

“Ready for your next cupcakes? Here they are!” Discord and Nightmare Moon served the next batch to the 10 campers after Spike’s earthworm had been removed from his nose and he had grudgingly returned to the mess hall. The next batch of cupcakes looked normal enough, but all the campers knew that what was on the inside was what counted.

“And what, heaven forbid, are THESE ones made of?” Rarity asked, shivering as she continued to try and clean a few specs of dirt off her teeth from Celestia’s troll cupcakes.

“These are Cheerilee’s ‘chalk cupcakes’!” Discord explained. When all he got was blank stares of confusion from the campers, he rolled his eyes and slapped his forehead. “You know…chalk? As in what you use to write on a chalkboard? TEACHERS USE THEM?”

“Ooh, that’s right!” Pinkie smiled, eagerly biting into her chalk cupcake and watching as grainy pieces of white poured out after her bite. She shivered a little as she swallowed her mouthful, then eagerly snatched up the last half. “It almost tastes like sugar, girls! And at least the chalk isn’t in stick-form!”

“Pinkie has a point…let’s just eat it and pretend it’s filled with sugar and not…chalk,” Twilight gulped, following her friend’s example and going after her cupcake. Trixie and Rarity both followed close behind, soon followed by a reluctant Rainbow Dash, a meek Fluttershy, and a confused Celestia. Then, after a while, following a little hesitance from Scootaloo due to a past event, she and Cheerilee forced their chalky cupcakes down as well

“What’s wrong, Scoots?” Rainbow Dash asked, noticing the filly’s worried expression, “It wasn’t THAT bad. Kinda makes the throat dry, but otherwise alright.”

“Well…you see, Dash…Diamond Tiara kinda dared me to eat a stick of chalk one time…or else she’d reveal…um…an embarrassing secret of mine that she found out about,” Scootaloo muttered, hiding her face in shame, “And, um, I nearly choked to death after panicking while swallowing the chalk…not to mention it was the color green and tasted pretty bad.” She gave a weak smile, and was happy to see that she got a few chuckles out of her team.

“I’m going to have a few words with that filly once we get home,” Rarity frowned, “Her actions while she was on this island were totally inexcusable and horrid! If she doesn’t change her ways, so help me…”

“Just leave your hooves off Silver Spoon, Rarity,” Spike called out, giving his former crush a glare from across the room, “Touch her again and I’ll…um…be forced to…no longer wait on you hand and foot when we get back home!” He had already finished off his own two chalk cupcakes.

“Um…of course, Spikey…I wouldn’t plan on going near Silver Spoon again.” Rarity gulped, looking away in shame. Spike still hadn’t forgiven her for her actions against the filly. After all, she had almost killed her due to her jealousy issues.

“Since both teams managed to finish off their cupcakes, that means this round is a tie and neither side gets a point,” Discord explained, “Round five is over with the score still tied 2-2. Onto the next!”

Cheerilee: The girls are actually working rather well together. It kind of surprises me, since I’ve been watching how Rainbow Dash has been acting. I won’t let her hurt Scootaloo, though…I promise.

“Round six will feature Rainbow Dash ‘sky cupcakes’!” Discord boomed out as the next batch of cupcakes were delivered. This time, the pastries were colored a rather light blue, and had a rather soothing aroma to them. In fact, there didn’t seem to be anything dangerous about them at all.

“Uh…so, what exactly does ‘sky’ imply?” Rainbow Dash demanded.

“I added in some clouds, some raindrops and some snow, and then let a lightning bolt strike them while letting them cool in the sun,” Nightmare Moon explained.

“So…basically…all that’s in them is water and…nothing else?” Cheerilee asked, trying to make sense of what Nightmare Moon said. The alicorn blinked for a moment, then realized her goof and couldn’t help but give herself a face-hoof.

“Ugh…well, I…um…I used some blue food coloring, too…for added effect.”

“Lame, Nightmare Moon…seriously lame,” Dash sighed, taking two bites and eating down her brand of cupcakes at once, “I was expecting more…mmm, but I LOVE the charred taste of the lightning bolt on the inside. Ha, it figures MY cupcakes would taste the best, since I myself am the best.”

“You sure are, Dash…you sure are,” Scootaloo sighed, snuggling her own cupcake, “I almost don’t want to eat this, since it reminds me so much of you…” When she received several glares from Trixie and Rarity, she quickly changed her mind and took her two bites. Cheerilee, Celestia, Twilight, Trixie and Rarity all easily followed suit.

When Pinkie ate her Rainbow Dash cupcake, she squealed in delight. “Mmm, delicious! Dashie, you taste SO good! Do you think Nightmare Moon can give me the recipe so I can make more cupcakes out of you again?”

“Er…Pinkie…they’re not made out of me, they’re made to resemble and describe me.” Rainbow Dash gave Pinkie a rather scared look. “And…the way you said that…kinda makes me nervous. I don’t know why, but it does.”

“Once again, another tie!” Discord sighed, watching as Spike eagerly ate his own two cupcakes, perhaps a bit TOO eagerly. “So, round six is kaput, the score is still 2-2, and we’re getting towards the end! Don’t start feeling full just yet, campers; the worse is yet to come!”

Rainbow Dash: *a bit nervously* Heh…so, yeah…my cupcakes tasted the best…because I AM the best…no shocker there. Yep…no shocker…and Pinkie Pie’s words didn’t scare me in the LEAST. Heh…

“Round seven will feature Scootaloo’s ‘cutie mark cupcakes’, since she’s a Cutie Mark Crusader…and she’s rather boring otherwise,” Discord explained.

“HEY!” Scootaloo pouted, crossing her forelegs in a huff, “I resent that! I’m totally awesome and I’m not JUST a Cutie Mark Crusader! I can…do a lot of other things…too…” She trailed off as her cupcake was delivered to her and the rest of her team got theirs. Cheerilee gave her a little hug.

“Don’t be sad, Scootaloo; you’re correct in what you say.” The magenta mare smiled and patted the filly on the back as she admired the cupcake in front of her. “You can do a lot of other things…you just haven’t found them yet. You’re young, and when you’re young, you’re still finding out more about yourself. Don’t let it get to you. Besides, being a part of the Cutie Mark Crusaders is an amazing thing; I couldn’t be prouder of you. You’ve grown so much since joining Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.”

“Ugh…is she her teacher, or her mother?” Trixie muttered, whispering to Twilight.

“Ha…Cheerilee is just a really caring individual,” Twilight whispered back, giggling at the cute bonding between Scootaloo and her teacher. “She can be a bit…flighty…but you know her enough by now to realize that she’s a sweetheart. Her students are like her life. I don’t know anything about her family, so I can only assume that she treasures her job and her students with her entire being. I really actually admire that mare and how happy she can stay, through all the rough times.”

“But…do you not think that…she and Scootaloo seem a bit too close, darling?” Rarity whispered into Twilight’s opposite ear, having eavesdropped on her and Trixie’s conversation. “I’m not saying that it is not natural, but…I don’t know. It just seems that…Cheerilee is more than just a teacher to Scootaloo. But, what can it be?”

“Hasn’t anypony ever told you that it is quite rude to poke your nose in another pony’s conversation?” Trixie snapped, shaking her hooved fist at Rarity, “The Great and Powerful Trixie does not approve of you butting in on this private conversation!”

“It ain’t private, Trix,” Rainbow Dash smirked, poking her head up from behind the three girls, “We all heard it. When Trixie whispers, it’s more like she’s talking normally; she DOES have a big mouth.”

“Yeah, yeah, so true! I once saw Trixie sucking on her entire pillow when she was sleeping!” Pinkie giggled, “She really does have quite a big mouth! Isn’t that just so cool?”

“Now, girls, eavesdropping is rather rude,” Celestia scolded, joining the no-longer-private conversation herself, unaware of the interesting grin she had on her face, “We should respect Trixie and Twilight’s conversation and mind our own business.”

“Yes, that’s right,” Fluttershy added, shaking her head, “Interrupting another pony when she’s trying to have a private conversation is…very mean indeed.”

“So true,” Discord sighed, giving Trixie a mock pat on the head as he floated above the group.

Trixie’s left eye twitched as her beady eyes zipped back and forth in their sockets, eying all those sitting around her. Ironically, only Cheerilee, Scootaloo, Spike and Nightmare Moon hadn’t heard. Regardless of that fact, Trixie wasn’t very happy. “Trixie hates you all.”

Scootaloo: Uh…so, yeah…my cupcake had stickers inside of it, which tasted like paper and glue. Did I miss something? Why was everypony else on my team all whispering to each other and stuff?

“Eh-hem…anyway, it seems that all the campers finished their Scootaloo cupcakes, so that once again leaves the score at 2-2,” Discord grumbled, “Oh, I do so hate ties…this is getting annoying! Round eight is here, and it’s time for Pinkie Pie’s ‘explosive-sugar cupcakes’!”

“I hate to ask…but exactly what’s inside of THESE cupcakes?” Celestia sighed, watching as some light pink cupcakes were levitated onto her team’s table.

“Well, I tried to calculate just how much sugar goes into Pinkie Pie’s body every day,” Nightmare Moon explained, “Then, I multiplied that by the average of sugar that Pinkie Pie’s body naturally produces every day to keep her in her usual hyper moods. After I got that number, I subtracted the amount of sugar that usually goes into a cupcake, since I wanted to use my own recipe and be creative. Then, just for an added boost…I went ahead and added in six more large cups of sugar. So, to go with the six large cups of sugar, I added the other…rather-high number…and created cupcakes with that amount of sugar. Hopefully, you’ll see the effects once you bite into them.”

The entire mess hall was dead silent. Very slowly, one by one, each of the campers began slowly pushing their light pink cupcake away from their body. They may not have been the brightest tools in the shed, but they all knew that eating too much sugar could easily kill you, or in the very least have some horrific side effects on your body. Spike was more than willing to give up his chance to take the lead in lieu of keeping himself safe from something tragic. Even Discord was giving Nightmare Moon a disappointed look as he shook his head.

“Nightmare Moon…while I appreciate your…creativity…you simply cannot bake THAT much sugar into each cupcake,” he explained, “For one, we would probably be getting a drop in ratings when the campers were put into comas or simply dropped dead. For two, you probably wasted a lot of our sugar on these cupcakes alone, which is blasphemy! You KNOW I love sugar in my morning coffee!”

“Mmm…I don’t know what you’re all so scared about,” Pinkie shrugged, licking some excess sugar off her lips after devouring her cupcake in a matter of seconds, “It tasted perfectly tasty and delicious to me!” She smiled at the rest of her horrified team, and slightly blushed when Twilight slowly pushed her face up into hers. “Um…yes, Twilight?”

“Pinkie…you are…a medical mystery.”

“Aww…and you’re a bookworm and a really wonderful pony.”

Pinkie: Isn’t is so wonderful how Twilight always focuses on me and cares for me and asks me weird things? *she giggles and shyly blushes a little bit* She was probably too shy to eat my cupcake.

“Okay, we are STILL tied at 2-2, and we’re all the way to round nine!” Discord said, delivering the next tray of cupcakes himself to the 10 campers, “These ones I’ve been DYING to deliver. Everyone, say hello to your next batch of cupcakes…the ‘Trixie cupcakes’!” The campers all looked down at their cupcakes and saw a very crude marking of Trixie’s cutie mark drawn on the tops with a cooking marker. None of them, besides Trixie herself, looked overly thrilled about this.

“Uh…yes, so they’re Trixie’s cupcakes…but, what’s the theme?” Rarity asked, sniffing in disgust.

“I just told you, Rarity…the theme of Trixie’s cupcakes is…well, they’re called ‘Trixie cupcakes’.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense. Trixie is sitting right here next to us. You didn’t bake her into these cupcakes. What kind of foals do you take us for?”

“Indeed, and if they HAD tried to bake Trixie into cupcakes, they would’ve gotten a rude awakening!” Trixie snapped, before going back to gushing over her own brand of cupcakes being brought out. “Now, let’s just focus on how WONDERFUL these cupcakes are! Just look at that! Trixie’s beautiful cutie mark is drawn on all the tops! Oh, Trixie MUST know what’s inside!” She eagerly picked up her cupcake and, after admiring it for a while longer, began to eat it.

“Well, Trixie, since we all know you love yourself more than anything else, we decided to…make cupcakes with your features,” Discord smirked, “We baked the cupcakes using locks of your mane and tail, some of your hoof clippings, some of your coat, and we even used your saliva as the milk!”

“Indeed. We milked your tongue while you were asleep,” Nightmare Moon added.

As soon as all this information was revealed, almost all the campers looked sick to their stomachs. Spike immediately pushed his cupcake away like it was diseased. Scootaloo cowered behind Cheerilee, who in turn was trying as politely as she could to push the plate with the cupcake on it away. Rarity looked ready to throw up, even though she hadn’t even tasted the Trixie cupcake. Rainbow Dash looked somewhat amused at first, then angrily threw the cupcake across the room at Discord and Nightmare Moon. Pinkie looked like she was willing to try the Trixie cupcake, but after a moment of hesitation, she very slowly set it back down and pushed it away, too. Celestia had her hoof over her mouth, and Fluttershy was gently rubbing her back to make the nauseating feeling go away. Only Twilight seemed somewhat intrigued.

“Using one’s saliva as milk…and using their own hair, coat and hoof clippings for the ingredients…how very weird…” she muttered, looking down at her Trixie cupcake with curious eyes.

“Remind Trixie to sue you both for doing illegal things to her while she was most likely asleep,” Trixie snapped, swallowing down the rest of her cupcake without a worry and glaring at Discord and Nightmare Moon, “And where is Trixie’s missing mane and fur? She doesn’t look bald at all!”

“I used my magic to grow your hair right back,” Nightmare Moon explained, “As humorous as it was to see you half-bald, you’re more useful to the show looking the way you are. Furthermore, you…oh my, is she really going to do it?” The alicorn widened her eyes as she watched Twilight slowly lift her Trixie cupcake towards her mouth.

“Aw, no way!” Discord squealed, his mouth dropping and his eyes lighting up, “This was mainly just a gag cupcake, since I didn’t expect ANY of them to eat it, but…ooh, this is juicy! Go, Twilight Sparkle, go!”

“Twilight…darling…what in all of Equestria are you doing?” Rarity asked, looking at her friend as though she were crazy.

“Maybe she hit her head really hard when we weren’t watching, even though we’ve been together this entire time and I don’t see how that’s really possible?” Pinkie guessed.

“Twilight…uh, we’re all not eating our…cupcakes…so, you really don’t need to…” Celestia began, but she could only cringe in horror as she watched Twilight bite into her Trixie cupcake and get a big mouthful of the pastry and its filling. The rest of the mess hall all watched in stunned fascination as the unicorn began to chew.

Twilight’s face seemed to scrunch up as she chewed with delicate ease, as though eating dynamite. Her cheeks puffed out to chipmunk-like levels, slightly turning a shade of green a few times, as loud crunching sounds echoed around the room from her chewing. A few tufts of Trixie’s hair dropped out of Twilight’s chewing maw and settled on the table in front of her as she worked at the Trixie cupcake. After a while of working her teeth, she tilted her head back and let her throat do its job. As the rest of the mess hall watched, half of the Trixie cupcake slowly eased down the purple unicorn’s throat, a small clump being the last to go down.

“Ugh…that last one…I think was…one of Trixie’s hoof clippings…” Twilight coughed, shivering a little as she rubbed her stomach, “But…ah, it went down alright…overall, not bad. I always do enjoy experiencing new things I’ve never tried before, and getting a chance to taste a Trixie cupcake was…interesting. It really wasn’t all that…bad?” She noticed that the rest of the mess hall was looking at her with sick expressions, save for Trixie, who looked completely dumbfounded. “Uh…why are you all looking at me like that? This was for science, I swear!”

The last part of Twilight’s protests may as well been muted, since no one really heard it. Thanks to the sickening display of “science”, Twilight had caused all the stomachs in the room, except for Trixie’s, to churn in displeasure and demand a release of what was currently held inside. The past hour of random cupcake ingredients currently nesting in each stomach probably didn’t help, either. Either way, as Twilight and Trixie watched, all eight of the other campers, including Discord and Nightmare Moon, rushed out of the mess hall and raced for the nearest garbage cans that they could find. Each of their faces looked ready to explode, their cheeks all bulging out dangerously as they ran.

“Did…I do something wrong?” Twilight asked, tilting her head as she glanced at Trixie, “I was just curious to how a cupcake made from another pony’s features tasted, that’s all. Does no one understand science around here?”

Trixie just stared back for a long, long time at her self-appointed rival. Very slowly, she gave a little grin. “Twilight Sparkle…you are…beyond a doubt…a freak. But, Trixie is okay with that.”

Trixie: *laughing her head off* Twilight Sparkle actually ate a cupcake that had Trixie’s saliva mixed in as the milk replacement, not to mention Trixie’s hoof clippings and hair! Oh, how hilarious!

After a ten-minute hiatus, Twilight and Trixie were eventually rejoined by the rest of their fellow campers and their two evil hosts, all of whom still looked slightly ill after puking their guts out. Discord weakly snapped his fingers and summoned everyone a napkin to wipe their mouths with, and after they did, he snapped his fingers again to make them vanish. They all soon took their seats again, and despite their odd glances over at Twilight, decided to try and forget what they had just witnessed.

“Ugh…well, thanks to Twilight making us all nauseous…we had to take a little break,” Discord muttered, “But, the fact still remains that we’re deadlocked at 2-2 and this is the last round. If neither team wins here, we’ll have to go to an eat-off to decide the winner. So, I’m sure you’ll smart enough to know which camper still hasn’t had their cupcake brought out yet.”

“Um…that’s okay…I’d rather not have mine brought out…if that’s alright,” Fluttershy muttered.

“Sadly, my dear, we’re going to bring it out anyway,” Discord smirked, snapping his fingers as the final batch of cupcakes appeared in front of all 10 campers, “Featuring, Fluttershy’s ‘animal cupcakes’!”

“A-A-A-ANIMALS?!?!” Fluttershy shrieked, looking down at her cupcake in horror, seeing that tufts of squirrel fur were sticking out the top, “N-N-N-NO! I-I-I-I CAN’T EAT A-A-A-ANIMALS!”

“Uh…we didn’t exactly bake any LIVE animals into the cupcakes,” Nightmare Moon protested, “We just shaved a squirrel bald and used its fur, plucked the feathers from some chickens, ground a moose’s discarded antler piece down into a fine dust, used the skin of a snake that it had shed…”

“I DON’T CARE! I’M NOT EATING ANYTHING WITH ANIMALS INVOLVED!” Fluttershy screamed, putting her nose in the air and crossing her forelegs.

“But, Fluttershy…” Rainbow Dash protested, but when Fluttershy shot her an angry glare that invoked her famous stare, Dash whimpered and slowly backed away. There was no chance dealing with Fluttershy when she was firmly set in a decision.

“I’m with you, Fluttershy!” Spike announced, crossing his arms and angrily pushing his cupcakes away, “I ain’t eating anything that has to do with animals, either. I STILL have earthworm slime up my nose, so I don’t need any MORE animal stuff in my body, thank you.”

Nightmare Moon: Can you believe this? I didn’t slave all day in that kitchen making disgusting and weird cupcakes just to have them go to waste! Does an alicorn’s work not get appreciated around here?

Fluttershy: Um…I feel really bad for letting my team down…and for making Nightmare Moon sad… *she glares at the camera, then speaks in a cold voice* But I will NOT eat anything involving animal parts.

Frowning in annoyance at Spike and Fluttershy’s refusal to participate, he growled and snapped his fingers to make the last batch of cupcakes vanish. “Okay, enough of this. We’re going to the eat-off to decide the winner. Spike, you will take on the female team’s best eater…Scootaloo!”

“W-w-what?!?! ME?!?!” Scootaloo blinked, “But…but…why me? Rainbow Dash would be a much better choice, or Pinkie Pie, or even Twilight after what we saw her do with those…certain cupcakes.”

“Because you’re the youngest and therefore you probably have the best palate,” Discord explained, “Plus, kids eat a lot, since they’re growing ponies.”

“Fair point, I guess…” Scootaloo sighed, hanging her head, “I hope I don’t make a foal of myself again.”

“Just do your best and that’s all that’ll matter,” Cheerilee said softly, giving the filly one last hug for good luck before gently easing her forward, “Win or lose, as long as you give it your best shot, that’s all that matters. Just keep your head up, Scootaloo. We’re all behind you.”

“Yeah…but do TRY and win, alright?” Rainbow Dash added. When she got a glare from Cheerilee, she grinned and gave a little shrug. “What? I was just encouraging her!”

Once Scootaloo and Spike stood next to each other in front of Discord, ready to face off to see who would win the challenge, the draconequus pulled out one final cart from behind Nightmare Moon. A large blue blanket was strewn over the top, two large bulges visible from underneath. Slowly, for added effect, Discord removed the blanket and revealed two massive cupcakes, if they could even be called that. They looked more like large lumps of dirt, given their disgusting color and shape and the amount of random items sticking out the sides. Spike and Scootaloo both gulped.

“For the eat-off, we combined all the other cupcakes to form these super-disgusting-highly-combusting death cupcakes!” Discord grinned, picking up each large cupcake with each hand and tossing them up and down, “Nice name, huh? Anyway, the first camper to fully devour their one-pound death cupcake will win the challenge for their team and get that week-long airship cruise!”

“But…but…the gemstones…and the sugar…and Trixie…” Scootaloo whimpered, taking a little step back as she looked at the large cupcake that was nearly as big as her.

“Yes, yes, we know.” Discord grumbled to himself. “Don’t worry; I anticipated this happening. The sugar has been cut in half for each death cupcake, so they should be fine…I think. Plus, the gemstones were boiled for five hours, which should’ve softened them up enough to have the hardness of a raisin. As for the Trixie parts…well, you’re gonna have to suffer with those.”

“You…are…evil,” Spike whispered.

“Yes, I know…and it feels good.” Discord reached down and handed each large cupcake to the dragon and filly, smirking as he watched their facial expressions. “Now then…on your marks…get set…GO!”

With Spike and Scootaloo sitting on the floor and having the other eight contestants watch them, they knew the pressure was on. As soon as Discord shouted “GO”, they tore into their cupcakes with everything they had. Spike began to eat like a wild animal, gnashing his fangs violently into the thick cupcake and devouring whatever unfortunate ingredients got in his way. He hadn’t gotten too far before he began to choke on pieces of paper and small bits of Trixie’s hoof clippings. Scootaloo seemed to be getting mostly chalk and stickers with her first go at the cupcake, which allowed her to take an early lead.

“GO, SCOOTALOO, GO!” Rainbow Dash cheered, “KICK THAT DRAGON’S BUTT! YOU CAN DO IT! EAT LIKE YOU’VE NEVER EATEN BEFORE!”

“BUT PLEASE DON’T CHOKE!” Cheerilee added, “REMEMBER, IT’S REAL LIFE FIRST, AND A GAME SECOND, OKAY?”

Giving a weak nod towards her teacher and Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo plunged her head deeper into the cupcake, crunching her teeth together as fast as she could and trying to swallow whatever went into her mouth just as quickly. Spike, finally through an unusual mess of book clippings, finally started on the next part of his own cupcake. Thanks to his vigorous appetite and more powerful jaws, he soon caught up to Scootaloo, and then pulled ahead of her after reaching a small area with softened gemstones and bits of clothing.

“PUSH, SCOOTALOO, PUSH!” Rainbow Dash yelled, her hooves in front of her mouth to maximize her volume.

“Push? But, she’s not in a hospital…and I didn’t even know she was expecting!” Pinkie gasped, “Isn’t she too young for that?”

“It means to go faster and harder, Pinkie,” Rarity said politely, trying to keep her annoyance in check.

“Ooh…right…so, why didn’t Dashie just say that instead?”

“Because this is Dash we’re dealing with.”

“Fair enough.”

Scootaloo’s small stomach began to fill up very quickly, mostly with the unusual cupcake ingredients rather than the cupcake pastry itself. She burped loudly, causing her to blush, and continued to try and devour her large cupcake, but she was slowing down. She indeed could eat a lot, but this was overdoing it. She wasn’t used to this, and eating all that paper, chalk, clothing, animal parts, and random other items was doing a number on her stomach, mouth and throat. She was halfway done, but her pace was beginning to slack more and more.

Spike was beginning to slow as well, but he was nearly done with his cupcake. He wanted this win so very bad. He wanted to go on that cruise and rub Dash’s face in it, further proving to her that she can’t just win with arrogance and having everyone else do the work for her. Spike’s passion to win pushed him even harder to eat his cupcake, his eyes narrowing in concentration as his fangs worked at its victim. He could see that airship. He could see the spa. He could see the delicious food. He could see Dash angrily cursing him as he rode off into the sunset. He could see Silver Spoon cheering him on from a distance. This game was his to lose, and he soon finished it off.

“SPIKE WINS!” Discord called out, soon grabbing Spike’s right arm and lifting it, and the entire baby dragon, high into the air. As soon as the last of the cupcake had been devoured, the entire mess hall gasped in shock and disappointment, while a groaning, potbellied Spike gave a weak grin of victory. Knowing what was coming next, Discord quickly turned his head. Sure enough, a second later, Spike’s cheeks bulged out and he unleashed a loud belch that ended up causing a light tremor inside the mess hall. Bits of paper and clothing burst out of his throat and out his mouth, not to mention his own unique green flames blasting out a little as well, scorching the side of Discord’s face.

When his loud burp was done, all the females looked disgusted and annoyed, Discord looked annoyed at getting burned, and Nightmare Moon just shook her head and muttered under her breath about how Equestria had gone down the drain since she had been imprisoned. Spike blushed and sheepishly grinned at the other nine campers and the two hosts surrounding him, unsure of what to do in a situation like this. “Um…hehe…excuse me?”

“Smooth. But…yes, as I said…you win,” Discord mused, grumbling and rubbing his cheek that had gotten scorched from Spike’s flames. “Congratulations, Spike. Do you have anything to say about your victory?”

“Yes…yes I do.” Spike smirked, and very slowly glanced over towards the girls’ team. The ponies all sighed and shook their heads, knowing that Spike was most likely about to taunt them. However, after a moment of hesitation, Spike decided to be the bigger dragon and not stoop to Dash’s level. Instead, he glanced down at the disappointed Scootaloo. “Hey…Scootaloo? Great job. You nearly got me, and Twi always says I’m a bottomless pit! You should be proud of how great ya did. You’re one cool filly.” He smiled and gave the filly a thumbs-up sign of approval.

Scootaloo blinked in shock, having been rubbing her bulging stomach and moping about her loss, but after hearing Spike’s praise, she gave a weak smile. “Gee…thanks, Spike…that means a lot to me. And, uh…nice job yourself…you’re one crazy little dude. Twilight’s right; you ARE a bottomless pit!”

“Well, Twilight is right on a lot of stuff!” Spike began to laugh, and soon enough, Scootaloo joined in. Discord and even Nightmare Moon soon joined in as well, and very soon the entire mess hall was having a good laugh at Spike’s little joke. The only one not laughing was Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: Darn it, darn it, darn it, DARN IT! That annoying brat of a dragon won the airship cruise. This really grinds my gears! I can’t BELIEVE we lost to him! I should’ve forced our team to eat some more cupcakes or something…man, losing STINKS. I hope Gilda wasn’t watching this; she’s sure to be laughing at me, and I’m not gonna be happy about that.

Spike: Aw yeah, baby! The Spike man wins again and Rainbow Dash loses again! Ah, it’s a wonderful feeling, let me tell ya. *he flexes, the kisses his own muscles* Yeah, the taste of victory is sweet…REALLY sweet. I could’ve rubbed it in her face, but…nah, I’m not that classless. I had to give mad props to Scootaloo; she really did do a great job. But, the fact still remains that I won that cruise!

An hour later, Spike was standing on the catwalk leading up into a massive airship. It was painted gold and crafted from the best metal and wood that Equestria owned. Canterlot’s finest crafts-ponies had done a fantastic job, as the airship was nearly as large as both Twilight and Applejack’s homes combined, and was almost 20 stories high. As Spike was left dumbfounded, staring up at the majestic contraption that he would be riding on for the next week, Discord made a surprising announcement.

“Spike, what’s a cruise without friends, am I right?” he said, “So, I want you to pick four ponies to go with you. Any of them! Just pick four and they will get to join you on your week-long cruise.” As soon as he said this, the nine ponies all gasped in shock and instantly looked up at Spike with begging eyes. Spike himself looked rather amused and excited at this news.

“I was hoping you’d say that, Discord,” he chuckled, “I’ll admit I would’ve been a bit lonely all by myself. Okay, first pony’s first. How could I go anywhere without…Twilight!” He pointed to the purple unicorn.

“Aww, Spike, thank you so much!” Twilight eagerly raced up to the dragon, giving him a big hug and a gentle nuzzle on the head, “I’ve missed you, too…being on the opposite team has made me realize just how much you mean to me.”

Squirming out of Twilight’s grip, Spike playfully winked at the unicorn. “Twi, stop, you’re embarrassing me…although I really missed you, too.” When Twilight had regained her composure and went back to bouncing happily in place at her chance to ride the airship, Spike made his second choice. “What’s a cruise without a good party? Pinkie Pie, get up here!”

“WOW, REALLY?!?! YAY!” Pinkie squealed and happily bounced over to the dragon, giving him a thankful hug and starting to dance with Twilight. “Twilight, Twilight, we’re both going, we’re both going!”

“Hmm…let’s see…who should I pick next?” Spike mused, glancing at the remaining campers. Slowly, his eyes landed on Rarity. She was silently pleading with him to give her another chance, and the look she was giving the dragon almost made him melt inside. Perhaps this cruise would be the best way to try and mend things with his former crush. “Well…oh, why not? Rarity, come on.”

“Oh, yes, yes, yes! Spikey, thank you SO very much!” Rarity gushed, rushing up and throwing her forelegs around Spike’s neck, “You will NOT regret this, I swear! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!”

“Yeah, yeah…you’re welcome, I guess,” Spike muttered, very gently squirming away to avoid pushing Rarity. He was down to his last choice.

“So, only one pick left, Spike! Who will it be to complete your party of five?” Discord asked, floating nearby with his black sunglasses on. Spike narrowed his eyes as he contemplated his last pick.

Spike: This last pick was very hard. Naturally, I wasn’t taking Dash; there was no way I was rewarding her after all she did to me. Scootaloo…well, she deserved it…but, I had a feeling that she wanted to spend some time with that stupid Pegasus…so, I wanted her to be happy. Cheerilee…she’s happiest when she’s with Scootaloo, so she was out. That left Fluttershy, Princess Celestia, or Trixie. *he sighed a little bit* I think it’d be best if the princess stayed on the island to keep an eye on Discord and Nightmare Moon, you know? And…well…Fluttershy made me mad by voting with Dash and getting Silver Spoon out, and then trying to get ME out. So…that left just one choice…which I didn’t think I’d make.

“…Trixie, let’s go,” Spike sighed, not really thrilled with this pick, but knowing that it was the most logical choice, at least in his terms.

“W-w-what?!?! You…you picked…Trixie?” Trixie gasped, completely stunned at this news. She hadn’t been expecting to be picked, since she knew the dragon didn’t really like her. But, quickly picking herself up from her shock, she eagerly raced forward and joined her three Magical Misfits teammates and the little dragon. “Thank you…Spike. Trixie was not expecting this…but, she is very grateful.”

“Just don’t try hurting Twilight while I’m around and there’ll be no problems,” Spike said simply, holding out his hand towards the azure mare, “Do we have a deal?”

“Yes, deal.” Trixie inserted her hoof into Spike’s hand and shook it.

“Well, Spike’s decisions have been made,” Discord shrugged, turning back to the five remaining campers, “Cheerilee, Scootaloo, Celestia, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash? Sucks to be all of you, but you’ll be all by yourselves for the next week! No cruise for all of you!”

Rainbow Dash: *practically screaming* CURSE YOU, SPIKE! YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS!

Fluttershy: *whimpering a bit* Um…do you think…Spike’s mad at me…for trying to vote him off?

Celestia: Spike made a good choice. I don’t need that cruise. Keeping an eye on Discord is better.

Cheerilee: Well, I’m a bit disappointed, but…at least I can keep an eye on Scootaloo for the week.

Scootaloo: *not even caring about the cruise* A whole week with Rainbow Dash? YEEEEEEEEES!

“Ladies, after you,” Spike grinned, bowing his head and holding out his hand towards the top of the catwalk leading up into the airship itself.

“Ever the little gentleman,” Rarity complimented, giggling and leading the all three of her teammates up the ramp, “Come, girls, let’s not waste a single moment of this cruise that Spike so generously offered to spend with us.”

“Yeah! Let’s PARTY!” Pinkie giggled and followed after Rarity.

“Ever been on an airship, Trixie?” Twilight asked, smiling at her fellow unicorn as she trotted side-by-side with her up the ramp second to last.

“A few times, Twilight Sparkle, a few times,” Trixie admitted, “Trixie has been all over the world, you know. Travel is one of Trixie’s many middle names, you see.”

“See ya, Camp Paradox!” Spike laughed, giving one last wave to Discord, Nightmare Moon, and the five left-behind campers, “Have a fun week…I know WE will! Don’t wait up!” The little dragon raced up the catwalk a moment later to join the girls.

Rarity: This is the PERFECT chance to make up with my generous little Spikey. He won’t regret this.

Pinkie: *holding her party cannon in front of her* I never leave home without this baby, tee-hee!

Twilight: It’s so wonderful to know Spike will always have my back. I really do love him a lot.

Trixie: This is still quite a surprise…but, Trixie will take it. A free week-long airship cruise…perfect.

Spike: A whole week with four pretty ladies and nothing but partying. *he smirks* Ya gotta love it!

As the airship pulled up its ramp and slowly began hovering up into the sky, Discord faced the camera. “And that wraps up another dramatic episode! Spike and his girls are heading off on a week-long cruise, but will it just be all fun and games? What will transpire on that ship? What will happen with the five campers left behind? What will the second half of the season entail? What twists, turns, shocks, surprises, and romances await our campers? Believe me, you do NOT want to miss out on this! All of you stay tuned next time for another spicy episode of Total…Magic…Pony Island! So long, Equestria!” He snapped his fingers and vanished, the cameras fading away as Rainbow Dash’s angry face glaring up at the disappearing airship being the last image seen for the episode.