Chapter 16: Light & Darkness
“Best s’mores ever!” Sweetie Belle cheered, stuffing another one of the gooey treats into her mouth and chewing it up happily.
“Totally!” Scootaloo laughed, stuffing two into her mouth at once and causing melted chocolate to drip down her chin.
“Mmmmph! Mmmph, mmmmmph, mmmmmmmph?” Apple Bloom asked, her mouth already full as she tried to say something.
The three Cutie Mark Crusaders had finished up their game of truth or dare and moved right on to making some treats. Josh and Applejack finished up their one-sided fight, with Applejack pinning Josh down by sitting on him when the male still refused to physically strike the farmer, not to mention AJ had delivered quite a beating and left the alicorn in quite a lot of pain. Since Applejack didn’t want to let Josh out of her sight, she stayed right where she was while the three fillies went to make the snacks.
“Quite a lickin’, eh?” Applejack teased, wiping sweat off her forehead as she put her hat back on and smirked down at her seat, “It’s a shame that ya never learn yer lesson, Joshy boy.”
“First…get your big butt off me…it’s almost causing me more pain than the beating you just gave me!” Josh snarled, squirming uselessly as he cast glares back at the pony on his back, “Second…I’ve never kissed a girl before…it’s not my fault I didn’t want to screw it up!”
“The only way to experience and learn somethin’ is to do yer best when ya have the chance,” Applejack stated, wiggling her butt on the angry stallion’s backside, “Yer more stubborn than a mule. Why didn’t ya just kiss me and hope fer the best? Ah thought you didn’t want to lose.”
“I DIDN’T want to lose…” Josh grumbled, reaching up and poking at his horn, trying to make it use some magic to remove Applejack, but since he hadn’t learned how to use magic yet, it was pretty much just a useless stick on his head.
“So, why didn’t ya’ll just do the dang dare and get it over with?” Applejack frowned, “Even if ya just wanted to give me a little peck, ya still just worried so much about bein’ all fancy with it that ya drove me up the wall! What, do ya think that ah’m…ugly or somethin’?”
Josh opened his mouth to speak, but when he heard the slight decline in volume of Applejack’s loud voice, he glanced back and saw that she looked slightly hurt. The former human frowned and narrowed his eyes, wondering why she would care what he thought when the two didn’t like each other anyway. However, despite the fact he hated Equestria, he was still normally a gentleman to ladies. He highly enjoyed calling everyone around him fools and idiots, but he would never insult a woman’s beauty.
“No…you’re not ugly, Applejack,” Josh said calmly, “All females are beautiful in their own ways, and that includes you. I simply despise everything else about you and wish nothing more than to kick your ass without actually having to lay a finger…ugh, HOOF on you. So, you’d have to excuse me for not really wanting to kiss my biggest enemy on the lips; game or not, the lips are probably the most sensitive place on the body that one can be kissed, and I didn’t want to ruin my first time with my biggest enemy.”
“Gee…ah feel loads better,” Applejack frowned, lifting up her butt and slamming it back down onto Josh’s back, smirking when it incited a yelp of pain from the stallion, “Aww, sorry…guess that hug of mine is still causin’ problems fer yer back, eh?”
“Sadistic little quadruped,” Josh whispered, crossing his forelegs as Applejack chuckled and continued to sit on him.
When the Cutie Mark Crusaders eventually returned to the room after making a second batch of s’mores, due to the first batch being devoured almost immediately by the threesome, they instantly giggled at seeing Applejack using Josh as a seat. Instead of helping Josh out, however, they instead sat down only a few inches away from him and offered him a s’more as compensation for having been beaten up and humiliated by Applejack. Of course, Josh wasn’t entirely thrilled with the lack of support from his filly friends.
“What’s wrong, Joshy? Don’t ya’ll like s’mores?” Apple Bloom asked, noticing that Josh wasn’t touching the s’more that she gave him, “They’re really good and gooey and delicious!”
“Pinkie makes the best ones in town, but my sister showed me how to make them PERFECTLY,” Sweetie Belle explained, “So, I’d say Rarity would come in a close second.”
“Ugh…girls…I was just beaten up by a stupid orange farmer pony and now she’s freaking sitting on me!” Josh snarled, starting to regain some of his strength and continuing to try and buck Applejack off, “I’M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR A STUPID S’MORE!”
“Geez, talk about crabby,” Scootaloo grumbled, “Personally, I’d be honored if Rainbow Dash wanted to sit on me. Why aren’t you honored that AJ wants to sit on YOU? She has helped save our world a few times, you know.”
“Oh, goody, THERE’S the punch line that I was waiting for,” Josh said sarcastically, “As it turns out, Twilight Sparkle and her band of dorky friends are really superheroes only posed as everyday citizen ponies of the world. I really should’ve seen that coming; Applejack seems like the type to be a dimwitted sidekick. Twilight is obviously the leader, right? And my guess is…OW!” Having had enough of Josh’s lip, Applejack had delivered a kick to the back of Josh’s head to shut him up.
“If ya’ll had actually bothered to get to know us better like we were tryin’ to do with you, ya would’ve known all that already!” Applejack scolded, “And…we ain’t no superheroes. We just wield the elements of harmony when we have to, that’s all. Ah’m just a hard-workin’ apple farmer makin’ a livin’ by helpin’ out mah family and tryin’ to make Equestria a better place to live.”
“You make me sick with your talk of perfection,” Josh growled, “You remind me of a woman by the name of Rosie O’Donnell. All she cares about is making the world a better place and trying to bring good will and joy to all human beings. Oh…wait, that’s Oprah Winfrey I’m thinking of…well, either way, it’s so annoying to see and listen to such nonsense.”
“How is that annoying? That lady sounds like a great person,” Sweetie Belle said, laying down on her belly and idly kicking her hind legs back and forth while looking at Josh, “Isn’t that how you WANT someone to think? Josh, are you a bad boy and just want the world to be a bad place?”
“What? No! Nothing like that, Sweetie Belle!” Josh said quickly, “All I’m saying is that trying to make a difference in the world is pointless, because it’s never gonna work or matter! Every day, there’s always gonna be something bad happening, somewhere someplace. It doesn’t matter how many lives you try to change for the better. It’s like planting a tree in a barren wasteland. Sure, you have dreams of turning the horrid landscape into a lush and beautiful forest again, but in reality it’s never gonna happen. Why dream of things that cannot exist and will only hurt you when you think of them?”
“Because dreams are what we all strive for in life!” Scootaloo said, “I dream of becoming more like Rainbow Dash every day. I really admire her and idolize her; she’s just so awesome. Sure, maybe I never will become as cool as her…heck, I don’t think that’s even possible! But, you know what? I keep trying anyway, because when you stop trying, you’re nothing but a failure.”
“Well said, Scootaloo,” Applejack smiled, giving the filly a pat on the head, “Ya hear that, Joshy? Sure, our world is different from yours…very different, in fact…but, why is that such a bad thing? Ya’ll have lived in your world yer entire life, right? And you’ve said that it’s done nothin’ but kick ya in the butt yer whole life, correct? So, wouldn’t bein’ here with a fresh start make for a good new chapter in yer life?”
“If only it was that easy…but it isn’t,” Josh sniffed, shaking his head in disgust, “Don’t you understand? My life is NEVER gonna change. Even if I DID like you, Applejack…which I don’t, so don’t even THINK that I do…it wouldn’t make a difference. You’d just do what all my other so-called friends and family have done to me, which is backstab and hurt me and just want me dead and gone. Why should I think that you’re any different than them, just because you’re a pony and you seemingly can do no wrong in this creepy world of perfection?”
“Joshy boy…nothin’ is perfect…shoot, ah know ah’m not perfect!” Applejack said, laying down on Josh’s back and gently stroking Josh’s mane, “But, if ya go yer whole life wantin’ perfection, yer just gonna get yerself hurt even worse. If ya don’t want to be in yer world…but ya don’t want to be here either…where are ya wantin’ to go? Do…do you just not…want to live anymore?”
The room grew quiet as Applejack’s serious question lingered in Josh’s ears. The former human closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath as he tried to control his temper. Applejack was so correct and it angered him; he HATED being in the wrong and he hated being off by others. But, he didn’t know how to answer her. Yes, he did indeed hate his world, and yet here he was wanting to go BACK to that very same world. But, he hated THIS world, too; Equestria was too perfect and much too girly. He couldn’t have it both ways; he knew that. But, planet Earth is his home, which means that that was where he belonged, right? Nothing else mattered; that was where he was born and that was where he should be.
“Applejack…of course I want to live…I would never even DREAM of ending my life just because I didn’t like the place where I lived,” Josh explained, glancing back and looking at the orange earth pony, “And, I know that nothing is perfect…hell, I’m not perfect myself. I’m far from it. I know that I’m a rotten person, but I really don’t care. You know that…we all have darkness and light inside of our hearts, right?”
“We…we do?” Scootaloo asked, widening her eyes and looking a bit fearful, “But…I don’t have darkness in my heart…I’m not a bad girl, I’m a good girl!”
“I’m sorry, but that’s the truth, Scootaloo,” Josh said solemnly, “No matter what the creature, no matter if you’re real or fake, boy or girl, villain or hero…we all have light and darkness in our hearts. We have yin and yang, love and hate, cold and warm…it’s all there. It’s what makes us all alive. Even if you don’t see it, it’s there. If someone was simply all good or all evil…they couldn’t exist; they would just become an entity that would basically be nothing more than a being of light or dark.”
“Um…but…ah don’t feel…darkness…inside of mah heart…” Apple Bloom whimpered, placing a hoof over her chest as her ears drooped.
“Of course you don’t, sweetie; some of us are potentially more on the side of good than we are evil,” Josh chuckled, “You could have 90% light and 10% dark in your heart, or vice-versa; it really doesn’t matter. Even the biggest villains have a bit of love and light in their hearts; you might not ever get a chance to see it, but they do. As long as you are alive, you will always have both sides of the spectrum of life inside of you. It’s what keeps the world in balance.”
“But…that can’t be true for Princess Celestia!” Sweetie Belle argued, “She’s our wonderful ruler! She can’t possibly have any darkness inside of her!”
“Oh REALLY? So, she’s absolutely PERFECT then?” Josh questioned, “She hasn’t done a single thing wrong? She’s never, EVER caused you to doubt her? She’s NEVER made a choice that left SOMEBODY feeling angry, duped, confused, or hurt?”
“Er…well…” Applejack muttered, hesitating to talk about the princess in a negative light, “She…kinda did…banish her little sister to the moon for 1,000 years…but, that was totally justified due to…”
“WHOA! She did WHAT to her little sister?!?!” Josh gasped, widening his eyes in shock, “Jesus Christ! And you think Celestia is PERFECT? Ha, yeah right! I don’t care WHAT reason she had; that right there is beyond evil! If her sister wasn’t out killing any ponies, then I don’t care; that was beyond evil. So, thank you, AJ; you’ve just proved my point. Your so-called ‘perfect’ ruler isn’t so perfect after all.”
“But…what are you trying to prove here?” Scootaloo asked, scratching her chin curiously, “So we all have darkness and lightness inside of our hearts…what’s that got to do with anything?”
“It’s my reason for never wanting to trust or love anyone,” Josh said simply, “Since no one is perfect, that means that we all sometimes will have a violent, negative, or wrongful thought lingering inside of our hearts and minds. That is what’s hurt me my entire life; I was the scapegoat for all those negative and evil thoughts. I was the good boy who was the perfect victim to take advantage of. So, it’s why I refuse to believe in friendship and love.”
“Joshy, if that’s true, then how will ya’ll EVER make friends or…fall in love?” Apple Bloom asked, speaking the last part slightly higher than the first part. Applejack flushed when she heard her sister say such a personal question, and gave her a little glare while Josh tried to formulate an answer.
“That’s just it, Apple Bloom,” Josh sighed, clearly getting tired of talking, “I don’t WANT friends and I sure as hell don’t want to fall in love. Love is just ‘evil’ spelled backwards…and with an ‘o’ instead of an ‘I’ in there. Love is fake and complete garbage. Did you know that, on my world, the average marriage usually lasts less than a year? Yeah, true love my ass. I just want to live my life without feeling attached to ANYONE or ANYTHING. Love is fake, friends are fakers, and the world is a top spinning on its axis and waiting for someone to take it for another ride when it stops.”
“What are we then?” Sweetie Belle asked, giving Josh a sad look, “We said that we’ll love you no matter what, and we meant it with all our hearts. Do you…not want us as friends?”
Josh looked up and saw the sad look on Sweetie Belle’s face, unlike the angry looks that he was used to getting with Twilight and her friends. He glanced to the side and saw the same hurt look on Scootaloo’s face, perhaps with a hint of anger mixed in, but that was due to Scootaloo’s gruff personality. Apple Bloom and Applejack were both behind Josh, and since the latter was still resting on his back, he couldn’t move to see their expressions. However, since he could only assume that they looked the same way.
Applejack herself looked slightly shaken at Josh’s words; he spoke so calmly and sure of himself while he rejected such things as love and friendship that it really made her scared. Sure, she didn’t like Josh that much at all, and the two were always fighting, but she badly wanted him to change his mind. In her heart, she knew that she and her friends hadn’t made a good first impression. They had tried to change him without taking his feelings into consideration, and for that, she was very sorry. However, at the same time, she knew that she and her friends couldn’t even begin to help unless Josh was willing to give an inch as well. At the moment, it didn’t seem like that was ever gonna be possible. Applejack needed a key to unlock Josh’s heart, and there was no such skeleton key in existence to do so.
“You are…you are…friendly acquaintances while I’m forced to reside in this world,” Josh finally said, trying to tell it like it is, “When I eventually go home after your silly princess finds a spell to do the deed, we’ll never see each other again. And don’t give me that crap about ‘oh, but we’ll be together in spirit’ or ‘but we’ll never forget you’ or ‘our hearts will always be connected’, since that junk is just for cheap Disney movies that don’t even make sense. You all know as well as I do that once I go home, none of us will ever think of each other again and all of this will have been for nothing. Therefore, you three fillies are just friendly acquaintances that I don’t mind being around…while Applejack is a rival, at best.”
The words cut deep to the hearts of all four of the ponies that were in the room. Parts of Josh’s speech that hurt the most stayed with the three fillies and Applejack, but all of it could still easily be felt. With the tension being so thick that it could be cut with a knife, Josh was figuring to get some backslash from the four ponies. He was stunned when he felt Applejack slowly move off his back without a word or a slap to the head. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all slowly moved away from Josh, but continued to give him very sad looks. All four ponies looked on the verge of tears.
“Friendly…acquaintances…okay, that’s…fair…” Apple Bloom sniffed, the pink bow on her head sagging down as she lifted up a hoof to dry her left eye, “That…makes perfect sense…yeah, what were we thinkin’…right, girls?”
“Yes…we’re stupid…we’re just acquaintances…I’m fine with that…” Sweetie Belle said, forcing a very pained and disturbing smile as she began to drag out her sleeping bag, “Let’s…just go to bed now, okay? The sleepover…um…well, the fun is gone.”
“Yeah…good idea…let’s just sleep this night away,” Scootaloo muttered, pulling out her sleeping bag as well, “Good night, girls…love you all. And…goodnight, Josh…” That was all she said before she hurried into her bag and went silent almost immediately.
Applejack watched as Josh slowly got to his hooves. He grumbled slightly about how bad his back hurt, but when he saw the look Applejack was giving him, he immediately shut up. He wasn’t scared of her, as proven when he basically ASKED her to beat him up so much, but the look that she was giving him now was scarier than any of the others. She didn’t look angry like she wanted to kill him…she looked like she was about to cry. Seeing a tough mare like Applejack in such a situation made Josh’s heart prickle and made him feel very uneasy. Hearing all three Cutie Mark Crusaders go silent was no less unsettling.
“Well, Joshy…yer first night in Equestria…hopefully, judgin’ from yer words, it’ll be yer last,” Applejack said calmly, her voice shaking a little as she turned away from him, “Ah’ll leave ya alone now…please don’t do anythin’ to mah sister and her friends…ah trust that you won’t, though…since yer ‘friendly acquaintances’ don’t seem to be enemies or rivals to you…like ah am.”
“Oh, shut up!” Josh snapped, “Stop with the sadness and the waterworks; it’s not gonna work! All I did was speak the truth. You, my dear, just cannot handle the truth. It’s not my fault you have such a weak heart. Maybe if you went through what I did, you’d be stronger and be prepared for this type of thing!”
“So…ah need to have a life of misery to know how it feels?” Applejack whispered, staring into Josh’s eyes as she put her hat back on.
“Yes, you do…and that’s all there is to it,” Josh said calmly, heading over to the sofa, “I suppose this will be a good enough place to sleep for this night…I’m used to sleeping on the floor or on sofas.”
“Well…goodnight, Joshy boy…have good dreams…” Applejack said, turning around and heading for the door. Josh’s words still lingered in her mind, mostly the “Applejack is a rival, at best” part. That “at best” is what was hurting Applejack the most. She had no idea why. She knew that Josh didn’t like her. She herself despised his attitude and desired nothing more than to kick his ass each and every day until he started acting like a civilized pony. But…somehow…it hurt worse than anything she’d ever felt before.
Casting one last look back at Josh, secretly hoping for an apology or a sign of atonement, all she received as the back of Josh’s head as he turned away from her and lay down on the sofa. The three small sleeping bags containing the shivering fillies aligned the floor, and the house was as silent as a graveyard. The s'more that Sweetie Belle had been offering Josh lay untouched in the same place that she had left it. With a rare tear in her eye, Applejack eased her way out the door, shut the light off behind her, and left without another word.
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I love how you put out a new chapter
makes me happeh!
If she kills herself I called it.
oh COME ONE ITS BEEN 16 CHAPTERS ALREADY JOSF IF YOUR NOT NICE NEXT CHAPTER IMMA KICK YOUR ASS!!
92699 If he is nice next chapter I'm kicking his ass you can't change over a single day this is day one mabye six he could be nicer never day one or two.
Yummy! Superb chapter! Each new one is better than the previous one! GOOD JOB!!! .... and an obvious MOAR :)
92699 yep i hate story where the character change in only 5 minutes sorry but this is unrealistic you cant change a person in such short timespan it needs much more
92706
i agree. it was just he has these small periods of niceness tthen he goes back to being a total jerkoff. oh well i guess we will see what happens next chapter
Hell yes, Josh. Make them feel what sadness is.
As much as I love the CMC and the Mane Six, hardly anyone makes stories where they feel sorrow, sadness or hatred.
92746 I think he has them because he finds it harder to be nasty to kids and people like fluttershy who don't try to bring the god out in him they just accept him.
Wow, so much for a "Comedy" fanfic, huh?
Not saying it's bad, don't worry. Man, I feel really bad for the crusaders and Applejack, but especially Josh right now. I've sort of been through what he's been through (not as bad though) and can really relate to that. Though in all honesty, when Applejack asked if he didn't want to live anymore, I half-expected him to actually agree. (THANK CELESTIA THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.)
Hurpa Durpa!
megusta.jpeg
This is one the best HiE stories I've come across. I'm surprised it's not been on EqD yet.
Has it?
Now have Discord to set him free promising to return him to his land,
then he is stopped by Twilight and must fighter her.
Schooled!
Josh: 1
Equestria: 0
92873
Got that right
92891
Cmon make applejack and josh fall in love!
“You remind me of a woman by the name of Rosie O’Donnell. All she cares about is making the world a better place and trying to bring good will and joy to all human beings.
Rosie O'Donnel?
Are you Freaking kidding me? She doesn't do that at all!
Here is the line: Josh <- Josh should be here
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Josh is here -> Josh
That special line in every story has been crossed here, lets see where it goes.
lol first thing i have in common with josh i hate oprah
92706
Unless he has a dream that shows a beautiful part of his miserable life. One that he never knew about b4.
A silver lining in the cloud. (I don't give a CRAP if U guys talk shit about my comment)
in joshes mind "BRAZIL BRBRBRBR GIVE ME MONY BRBRBR I REOPRT HUE BRBR HUEHUEHUE GIVE ME MONY"
in ponys minds " its the anti-pony action must be taken now
note to self - next time i make a HiE fic, make the human a complete ass with family problems -_- it apparently makes EVERYONE ELSE HAPPY!!!!!!! (yes, i like the story)
The average length of a marriage is actually more like 11 years, in the U.S.
984206
BULLSHIT!!! That might actually be true, but it the average is from both side of the marriage longetivity spectrum. Marriages will either last forever, or not at all, so essentially, that number is just... *pauses to think over words* BULLSHIT!!! Love is a fickle being, friend.
EXACTLY!
if his life has been nothing but pain and sorrow, then starting anew should be a welcome opportunity!
93131 Remember he revoked that and said Oprah