Trip Of A Lifetime

by Tailslover13

Chapter 15: Truth Or Dare

“Are you SURE that this isn’t permanent?” Josh whined, looking at what Sweetie Belle did to him in Applejack’s nearby mirror, “Even as a stupid pony, I REALLY don’t want to be seen in public like this. Do you know how horrible this makes me?”

“Aww, but Joshy, you look totally cool!” Scootaloo giggled, admiring Sweetie Belle’s work and giving her friend a hoof-bump, “Don’t you girls think so?”

“Ah reckon that might be the best colorin’ of a mane that ah’ve ever seen!” Apple Bloom agreed.

“And you look REALLY awesome,” Sweetie Belle gushed, snuggling Josh from behind and burying her face into the back of his neck, “Trust me, we know; we’re ladies.”

“That’s exactly WHY I’m worried,” Josh whispered, “This world seems to be 99% populated by females, so male opinions don’t really matter.”

“Aw, now that ain’t true,” Apple Bloom scolded Josh, “There’s Snips and Snails from our class, there’s mah big brother, there’s mah cousin Braeburn, there’s that strange brown stallion with the hourglass cutie mark in town, there’s that rude stallion from Canterlot that hurt Sweetie Belle’s sister a few months ago…”

“And, despite all them, they still only count for 1% of this world’s population,” Josh snickered, “Kinda makes a guy wonder how there’s so many ponies here, since back on my world, two females can’t…” He went silent at that moment, since the Cutie Mark Crusaders were giving him weird looks and he knew better than to go deeper into THAT territory around them.

“Two females can’t…what?” Scootaloo asked, tilting her head curiously, “Where were you gonna say?”

“Uh…well, that is…I was gonna say…uh…” Josh stuttered, looking around for some kind of distraction to get him out of this very uncomfortable position, “Er…two females…uh…well, the thing is, females don’t have hot dogs, which means that they cannot use one on a taco, which in turn means that they cannot make a watermelon.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders stared at Josh for a very long time, then looked at each other, and then looked back at Josh. From the expressions on their faces, they were beyond confused and just straight out bewildered. They had no idea what hot dogs were and they didn’t know why Josh was talking about food when he was supposed to be completing his thoughts on what two females cannot do. Eventually, the three fillies just shrugged and went back to complimenting Josh’s new mane.

Sweetie Belle had taken Josh’s pleas into consideration and hadn’t used red or pink dye in his mane. After spraying his black hair and combing it down so that it was nice and straight, she decided to use blue dye to change his style. The little filly had successfully created several blue streaks of hair in Josh’s mane, giving him a black and blue hairstyle. Then, somehow, the filly had also decided to do the same to Josh’s tail to match the look. Josh wasn’t too thrilled with this.

“Sweetie Belle, I really appreciate you being a dear and…changing my appearance,” Josh said slowly, trying to contain his annoyance, “But, black is my favorite color of hair, and I never really went for blue. So, I kinda want to go and throw Twilight over a cliff now.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Scootaloo asked, “What did Twilight do?”

“What DIDN’T she do?” Josh snapped, “Ever since I arrived on this stupid world, that annoying pony has done nothing but nag me to death about this or that. She’s worse than my mother! I swear, if I have to listen to one more lecture by her, I’m gonna…” However, his thoughts were interrupted when the door suddenly opened and Applejack made a very unusual and sudden appearance.

“How’s everythin’ goin’ in here?” the orange pony asked, putting on her best smile as she looked at the foursome, “Ya’ll need anythin’?”

“Nah, we’re doin’ just fine, sis,” Apple Bloom smiled, “We just fixed up Joshy’s hair! What do you think?” Applejack gave Josh a hard look, narrowing her eyes slightly as she examined his mane and tail, and then she gave a deep, polite laugh.

“Ha! Now THAT’S what ah call a stylish getup,” Applejack grinned, “Black and blue really fit quite nicely together. Ya’ll should be thankful, Joshy boy; ya look mighty handsome.”

“Gee, thanks, it just THRILLS me to hear an apple-obsessed female PONY say that,” Josh said sarcastically, “It’s kinda funny how I went my entire life on Earth and not a single female HUMAN ever complimented my looks or even asked me out on a date, and yet here I am on Equestria, and after a simple hair-dying session, I’m called handsome. Seriously, Applejack, who are you trying to kid?”

“Oooooh, burn!” Scootaloo laughed, pointing at the red-faced Applejack and rolling around while she giggled excessively from Josh’s insult.

“Now wait just a doggone second here!” Applejack snapped, the smile vanishing off her face as she stomped into the room and got right into Josh’s face, “Ah TRY to give ya a compliment and ah TRY to be nice, and ya’ll call me a liar? Joshy boy, do you even remember mah element?”

“Your element?” Josh smirked, tapping his chin with his hoof in his usual mock stance as he pretended to think about it, “Hmm…your element…well, it sure isn’t dental care. If it was, you’d be way OUT of your element, since your breath REALLY stinks. Could you please take a few steps back? Actually, you’d best make that a DOZEN steps back, just to be safe.”

“THANK you!” Apple Bloom cried, “Ah’ve been tellin’ mah big sis just how horrible her breath is for the past month, and yet she still refuses to go see the dentist! If ah have to go every month for a checkup, then she should, too! It just ain’t fair. Plus, ah brush every day; can’t say Applejack does.”

“A-A-Apple Bloom!” Applejack gasped, glaring down at her sister with the same deep blush on her face, “What the hay is wrong with you? Yer supposed to stick up for yer sis, not dis her in front of this rotten stallion with the foul mouth!”

“Hold on…so, Applejack, you really DO think I’m handsome?” Josh continued, deciding to once again take all he can get in this situation, “Aww, I’m FLATTERED. But, you see…you’re just not my type. I really don’t like the smelly, hotheaded, simpleminded, foolhardy, overworking girls. I prefer the more intelligent type, like Twilight! Ooh, but wait…I want to throw Twilight over a cliff…so, guess what? I don’t prefer ANY of you ponies. Sorry for dashing your hopes; I know I’m a stud, but I’d much sooner date a rock than I would an apple farmer.”

“Oooooooh, snap!” Sweetie Belle giggled, joining her two fellow crusaders in their heavy laughter as Applejack was once again dissed by Josh.

Applejack’s face turned an even darker crimson as she took a step away from the grinning stallion. She wanted nothing more than to wipe that smirk right off his face, preferably taking out some of his teeth along with it. However, she knew better than to use violence in front of her sister and her friends; that would set a terrible example. She was honestly stunned and appalled that the girls found Josh’s insults so funny. Not only that, she was also very confused on how Josh could be crying and sobbing one moment and then acting like a complete mule the next. Had he been faking it once again?

“Oh yeah? Well, AH would much sooner date…uh…one of mah apple trees before ah’d date YOU!” Applejack finally countered, making a loud hacking sound as she glared at Josh, “Yer a rotten snake and ah don’t know what my sister and her friends see in you, but if you so much as lay one hoof on them, yer flank is gettin’ a full dose of mah apple-buckin’ prowess!”

“Lay a hoof on them? AJ, I’m horrified that you would think such a thing!” Josh scolded, wrapping a foreleg around the three giggling fillies and giving them a hug, “I would never think of ever hurting these little dears. THEY actually accept me for who I am and don’t make judgments, nor do they try and change me, unlike six OTHER ponies that I know. Plus, they’re just pure awesome.”

“W-w-w-what?!?!” Applejack blinked, a bit stunned at hearing what Josh revealed, “So…THAT’S why ya hate me and mah friends? Because…we don’t accept you for who you are?”

“Well, no…that’s just one of the 350 reasons why I hate you all,” Josh said sweetly, giving Applejack a wink, “There’s also the fact that you all stink, you’re all stupid, you’re all crazy, you all smile too much, you give me headaches just from looking at you…and those are just some of the GROUP things that I hate. For you, Applejack, I have a good list of reasons that I can’t stand you.”

“Now, Joshy, that’s overkill,” Apple Bloom scolded, “It’s fun to torture mah big sister, but she’s really not a bad pony. She’s a sweetheart, once ya get to know her.”

“And Rainbow Dash is the coolest pony in the world,” Scootaloo stated, “She can do amazing tricks, she can fly faster than lightning, and she’s REALLY beautiful…er, I mean, awesome!”

“My big sister Rarity is a generous pony with a heart of gold,” Sweetie Belle added, “Sure, she has a big head, but what’s inside of her is what makes me happy to be her sister.”

“Hey, ah have a great idea!” Apple Bloom smiled, speaking before Josh could make out what the three fillies just said, “Applejack, why don’t YOU join our sleepover? That way, you and Joshy can try to talk to each other and work out yer differences.”

Upon hearing this idea, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both nodded in agreement, but Josh and Applejack both looked repulsed at the idea. The thought of them being in each other’s company for an entire night didn’t sit well with either pony. Plus, given Josh’s mastery of mockery and Applejack’s fiery temper, it probably wouldn’t take more than five minutes before somepony was sailing out a broken window or getting smashed into the wall. On the other hand, Josh REALLY loved torturing Applejack and getting her worked up, and Applejack still didn’t really trust Josh in the presence of her sister and the crusaders, despite Josh’s recent display of emotion towards them. So, when they both reluctantly agreed, they surprised each other.

“Yay! This is gonna be awesome!” Scootaloo grinned, “Now we’ve got both AJ AND Joshy to play with!”

“One wrong move outta ya, and yer gonna be needin’ that trip to the dentist,” Applejack whispered to Josh, giving him a stern look of warning.

“Whatever you say, smelly-butted pony,” Josh whispered back, snickering and taking a quick leap backwards when Applejack took a swipe at his head.

“So, what should we do first?” Sweetie Belle pondered, screwing up her face in concentration as she thought about an idea, “Um…tell ghost stories? Play hide and seek? Eat some s’mores?”

“Nah…let’s play truth or dare!” Apple Bloom said, pulling a bottle out from under the nearby sofa, “That’s always fun!”

“Ooh, truth or dare…nice,” Josh grinned, taking a seat and rubbing his front hooves together, “I LOVE that game…and I never lose. Then again, I never lose at ANY game I play, so…”

“Well, yer gonna be losin’ tonight, Joshy,” Applejack interrupted, taking a step opposite the stallion and putting on her own smirk, “Because, if ah’m not facin’ Dash, ah don’t lose either.”

The three Cutie Mark Crusaders grinned and winked secretly to one another as they watched the sparks fly already between the two rivals. This was part of their plan to get the two closer, or just to incite some humorous moments between the two. Sweetie Belle finally took her seat on Josh’s left, while Scootaloo sat on Applejack’s right. Apple Bloom sat on the opposite side between her sister and Josh as she sat the bottle down between them all.

“Ahright, just so we’re clear on the rules, this is how it works,” Apple Bloom stated, “We take turns spinnin’ the bottle. When the bottle lands on somepony, that pony must pick either truth or dare. The spinner is the one that gets to decide the truth or dare itself. Ya’ll are free to do any truth or dare that comes to mind, so long as it ain’t dangerous. If the truth or the dare is refused, that pony is out of the game. Oh, and ya can’t lie on your truths, either. The last pony standin’ will win!”

“And that’s gonna be me,” Josh said proudly, patting his chest, “Sorry, ladies, but you’re all just playing for the silver. I’m not about to lose. I’ll do any dare that you lay on me, and my mind’s an open book. There’s nothing I won’t admit to.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Applejack muttered coldly, “Sometimes, ah wish that mouth would just stay shut…it’d save me a heck of a lot of trouble.”

“Okay, who wants to go first?” Sweetie Belle asked, glancing between her two friends and the two rivals.

“I’ll go first!” Scootaloo shouted, placing her hoof down on the bottle and giving a mighty spin, “I’m always first. Dash taught me that you should never settle for anything less.”

“Huh…Dash might not be as dumb as I thought,” Josh mused. Thankfully, Scootaloo didn’t hear him, and was only concentrated on the spinning bottle. The glass container made a dozen revolutions before eventually landing on Sweetie Belle.

“Truth or dare, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo asked.

“Truth!” Sweetie Belle said calmly, knowing enough to not ask Scootaloo to dare her, since the insane little Pegasus was pretty crazy in the imagination department.

“Hmm…that’s boring, but okay,” Scootaloo shrugged, glancing up at the ceiling as she pondered a good truth, “Um…oh, I know! Sweetie Belle…who do you have a crush on?” The little Pegasus gave the white filly an evil little smirk, as Sweetie Belle squeaked and tried to hide her face. But, since she didn’t want to go out so soon, she gulped and nervously looked down at the floor.

“Er…I…um…kinda like…Spike,” Sweetie Belle whispered, just before hiding her face again.

“You have my condolences, Sweetie Belle,” Josh said, snickering a little bit.

“Oh, ya’ll shut up!” Applejack growled, giving Josh a dirty look, “There’s nothin’ wrong with Sweetie Belle likin’ that cute little Spike.”

“Who said there was? I’m happy that she does!” Josh smirked, “I just don’t think he’s good enough for her, that’s all. I think he’s MORE than good enough for YOU, but Sweetie Belle? No way!”

“WHAT?!?!” Applejack roared, another dark blush breaking out on her muzzle as the three crusaders laughed their heads off. Applejack had to physically restrain herself from murdering Josh right then and there, since she promised she would try to not use violence to resolve things.

“Thanks, Josh…you’re really sweet,” Sweetie Belle smiled, reaching out and taking her own turn with the bottle. This time, thanks to her soft spin, it only took eight revolutions before landing on Scootaloo.

“Ooh, dare me, dare me!” Scootaloo immediately shouted, pumping her hoof in the air, “Give me your best shot, Sweetie Belle.”

“Okay! I dare you to cluck like a chicken for one minute!” Sweetie Belle smiled.

“…I hate you,” Scootaloo said darkly, her confident grin being sapped straight off her face while the group of four surrounded her snickered in amusement. But, since she didn’t want to go out so soon, she slowly got up onto all four hooves and began to let out forced clucking sounds, while also throwing in some bounces on her hind legs.

“You make a good chicken, Scoots,” Josh laughed, holding his head in his hooves as he watched the performance by the angry filly, “Maybe you were a chicken in another life?”

“S-S-SHUT UP!” Scootaloo snarled, finishing her chicken actions 50 seconds later and retaking her seat, “And you all wipe those smirks off your faces. You’ll pay for that! Scootaloo’s revenge will be painful!” She angrily spun the bottle with all her might, watching as it took a good few dozen revolutions, before finally landing on Josh.

“Oh, goody,” the stallion muttered, “Eh, whatever; I’m not scared of anything. Dare me, Scootaloo.”

“Good,” Scootaloo grinned evilly, glancing over at Applejack before looking back at Josh, “I dare you…to give Applejack a BIG hug…like you mean it!”

“W-W-W-WHAT?!?!” Josh hacked, instantly scooting backward as he looked across at Applejack.

“You heard me,” Scootaloo said smugly, crossing her arms and giving a little shake of her tail, “Are you gonna refuse? If so, you lose…and come in last, too.”

Josh grit his teeth and glared down at Scootaloo, deep down admiring her for giving him such a hard dare. Glancing back at Applejack, he was horrified to find her cracking her hooved knuckles and wearing a very large grin on her face. Clearly, she was going to have a LOT of fun with this dare. Since Josh didn’t want to lose, he knew that he had no choice but to hug her, but the way that Applejack was looking at him and willingly opening her arms didn’t make this any easier.

“C’mon, Joshy boy, give ol’ Applejack a nice, big hug!” Applejack sneered, her arms spread wide open and inviting Josh in, “Ah won’t bite…much.”

“Let’s just get this over with,” Josh sighed, slowly stepping over the bottle and inching closer to Applejack, “Try not to make me smell as bad as you, since I doubt you’ve had a bath recently.” The stallion was very nervous when Applejack didn’t even glare at Josh for that comment; she was too busy continuing to smirk and look excited about this hug. Slowly planting his rump down in front of the orange pony, Josh took a deep breath and slowly spread his arms wide apart.

“Go on…go on…” Apple Bloom grinned, watching eagerly.

“Like you MEAN it!” Sweetie Belle reminded the former human. Slowly, Josh leaned in and wrapped his arms around Applejack’s middle and gave her a weak hug, wincing as he was forced to press his body to hers and place his hooves on her back. However, that was the least of his worries, for when Applejack quickly locked her own forelegs around Josh’s neck and upper body, he knew that he was in big trouble.

If Josh knew that Applejack was powerful, he wasn’t ready for what came next. He had experienced bear hugs before in his life, of course, but was unprepared for Applejack. Easy to say, as Josh was forced to lay his head on Applejack’s shoulder, the pain already began to intensify when he felt Applejack crushing him with the hug. The stallion squeaked loudly and tried to pull away, even attempting to slap at Applejack’s backside to make her let him go, but there was no way she was making the hug that easy.

Giving some evil snickers, Applejack closed her eyes and continued to squeeze the skinny former human, crushing him even more in her arms. Something cracked in his back as the pressure only continued to be multiplied, leaving Josh gasping for breath and having his face begin to turn the same color blue that was now in his hair. He kicked and silently screamed, but it was like a ragdoll trying to bust out from under an elephant’s foot. Applejack only hummed slightly as she continued to squeeze the stallion in the hug. Clearly, she MEANT this hug, just like the dare asked.

More random, tiny cracks popped from different places in Josh’s back as the hugged only continued, Josh being crushed as much as an empty soda can. Inside Applejack’s mind, she was having a ball. This wasn’t violence; if Josh couldn’t handle a little hard-loving, it wasn’t her fault. Besides, this was certainly a hug that was meaningful. Being able to teach Josh a lesson without actually having to use violence on him was such a joy, and Applejack was determined to make an everlasting impression on the skinny boy. Somewhere in her mind, though, a slight part of her felt somewhat excited about holding Josh to her. She had no idea why, though, and simply pushed the thought aside.

“Hmm…ah think that’ll do, right?” Applejack chuckled, glancing over at Scootaloo to make absolute sure.

“Heh…yep, I’d say that that’s a hug like you mean it!” Scootaloo said nervously, having taking a few steps away from Applejack due to the manic expression that had inhabited her face for a few moments during the hug.

“Well…ah suppose…ah should let go now then…” Applejack said very slowly, purposely dragging this out more and more before eventually opening her arms just enough for Josh to collapse out of them, “Ya enjoy that hug, Joshy boy?”

“A…storm…is…coming…” Josh gasped, wheezing and choking on the floor as he twitched and tried to catch his breath. The three fillies all gave the stallion a gentle pat on the head while Applejack proudly sat up straight and held her head high. That had been a lot of fun.

Eventually, Josh managed to crawl back to his place on the floor, but took an extra few minutes before he had the strength to sit back up. His backside was killing him, he was still trying to catch his breath, and he felt like he had just been run over by a semi-truck. He was glaring daggers at Applejack, who only grinned back and kept her arms crossed. Revenge was so sweet, and giving Josh a taste of his own medicine really thrilled her. She hardly took notice when Josh angrily spun the bottle a second later.

“Um…truth!” Apple Bloom said nervously when the bottle landed on her, since the look on Josh’s face made her think that taking a dare from him at the moment wasn’t a very smart idea.

“Fine…tell me WHY you love your sister!” Josh snapped, pointing a hoof at Applejack, “How can you love that evil pony? I can’t stop dreaming about hurling her off every cliff I’ve ever seen!”

“Why do I love mah sister?” Apple Bloom blinked, tilting her head as though confused, “But…she’s mah family…how can ah NOT love her?”

“Just because she’s family doesn’t mean you have to love her,” Josh hissed, “I HATE my entire family back on my world, because they’re nothing but dirty, moneygrubbing, abusive, hateful, back-stabbing, lying, cheating, evil jerks! So, tell me why you love this orange pony sitting in front of me.” Apple Bloom was silent for a moment, before she trotted over and nuzzled up to her big sister.

“Mah sister…isn’t like that,” Apple Bloom said softly, “Sure, we have our differences, and we fight sometimes, but what family members don’t? No matter what, ah know that mah big sister will always be there for me, just like ah’ll ahways be there for HER. Every time ah’m in trouble, and even when ah’m NOT in trouble, she’s ahways worryin’ about me, so she’s very protective. When ah’m sick or hurt, she’s ahways the first one to care for me and she never leaves mah side until ah’m better. When ah’m scared or cryin’ from havin’ a bad dream, she’s ahways there to make me know that it’s ahright and that she’s there for me. She lets me help her with the work, she fully trusts me, she tells me she loves me every day, she gives me hugs every day, she gives me freedom to hang out with mah friends whenever ah want, and she’s a lot smarter than ya’ll give her credit for. Ah…ah love her…and ah ahways will.”

Josh watched as the two sisters hugged each other, the hug naturally being a normal one that wasn’t bone-crushing. The stallion, oddly, felt his heart sink when he watched the loving scene. Sure, he felt nauseated when he even THOUGHT of loving his own horrid family like that, but that was only because he didn’t know that kind of love from a family. And, since he didn’t have any other blood relatives besides his evil family, he would NEVER feel that kind of love. Watching the Apple sisters hold each other and say such things about each other, he felt that the words weren’t lies. He didn’t believe in such things, but…he realized that THEY believed in them, and that’s all that mattered.

“Family, huh? Love, hmm?” Josh muttered, glancing down at the floor and feeling his chest hurt. His heart was pounding furiously, almost as if it was under attack, and he had to press a hoof to it to try and make it calm down. Why did he feel like crying again? He HATED Applejack; as strong a word as “hate” was, it was the truth…wasn’t it? Apple Bloom was tolerable, and he liked HER, but…Applejack? Never. Having HER as family would be…a nightmare. He was so concentrated in trying to make Applejack a monster that he failed to notice that Apple Bloom had spun the bottle again and it had stopped on him.

“So, Joshy, truth or dare?” the yellow filly asked, poking Josh’s lowered head to get his attention.

“W-what? Oh, uh, dare…” Josh stammered, not really realizing what just happened.

“Okay! Ah dare ya to kiss my sister, right on the lips, like ya MEAN it!” Apple Bloom giggled.

“…how would you like your death, Apple Bloom?” Josh said darkly, her eyes narrowing into slits that rivaled those of a snake or a cat, “Would you like it slow and painful, or quick and painless?” All three fillies laughed their heads off, just loving how they were playing with Josh, while Applejack looked both sickened and amused at the same time. When Josh finally forced himself to look over at her, the cowgirl was grinning and removing her hat.

“C’mon, Joshy…if ya’ll liked mah hugs…yer gonna just LOVE mah kisses!” Applejack smirked, licking her lips as she set her hat down beside her, “This time, ah MIGHT bite, too…just a warnin’ to ya.”

Josh felt sick to his stomach. He was either gonna lose the game and come in last place, or he was gonna get his first-ever kiss…and it was gonna come from a pony. His brain was telling him to just quit and refuse to do this, since he had more pride than winning at a silly game. However, his heart wouldn’t let his brain tell him what to do; he was very competitive, and no matter WHAT the game, he would NEVER quit, no matter what. Even if this game killed him, which it very well might do in a few minutes, Josh wasn’t about to quit. He had no choice.

“I’m spanking all your butts for this, I hope you know that,” Josh growled, very slowly inching his way towards Applejack, “And then I’m locking you all in a room with Pinkie Pie for two whole days!”

“Just give Applejack the meaningful kiss,” Sweetie Belle giggled.

“Ew…I’m not gonna look,” Scootaloo hacked, turning her head away, but still secretly watching out of the corner of her eye.

“Ooh, this is gonna be good!” Apple Bloom purred, “Don’t hold back, Joshy!”

Snarling and glaring at the fillies, Josh slowly sat down in front of Applejack once again. He was a rookie at this, so he really had no idea what he was doing. He gulped when Applejack placed her front hooves on his shoulders and began to pull him in. The former human began to shake as the blonde pony’s face slowly got closer and closer, the saliva still sparkling on her lips after she had licked them a moment ago. Her own emerald eyes locked with his, and she actually looked rather calm about this predicament. Before, she was sickened to think about it, but maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

“Uh…wait…am I supposed to be holding you back?” Josh asked, halting his face within only inches of Applejack’s, “Where do my hands…ugh, HOOVES…go? Do I put them on your shoulders, you thighs, your back, or your…okay, I won’t say that last part, since there are fillies in the room, but…yeah, where do I put them?”

“Put them wherever you want,” Applejack whispered, “This is a kiss, Joshy boy…don’t think, just act. That’s how a kiss works.” She slowly began to lean in, but Josh once again stopped her.

“Wait…uh…am I supposed to tilt my head to the left or right?” Josh asked, “Or, do you just kiss straight away? The movies never really made that clear to me. And, how do our lips lock together? I mean, I don’t really have big lips, so I don’t know how they’ll fit with yours, Applejack. And when they finally touch, do I press in hard or do I just let them lay against each other like a blanket on a bed?”

“Ugh…Joshy boy…fer the last time, just DO it!” Applejack sighed, slowly growing frustrated, “Now, c’mon, give me a kiss…ya’ll can do it…just do what yer heart tells you to do and…”

“Wait…are we gonna use tongue?” Josh asked yet again, “And…do I nibble on your lips? On your tongue? How do we breathe? We breathe through our noses, right, since we’re gonna be locked in a kiss with our mouths? Do I close my eyes, or do I stare into yours? How do I know when to break the kiss and not make it feel awkward? Am I supposed to be stroking a certain lower part of the back of your body while we kiss, or do my hooves just stay still on whatever part of your body that I have them?”

“Joshy…please just kiss me…now,” Applejack growled, her left eye starting to twitch as her hooves tightened around Josh’s shoulders.

“Wait…can we please not try to mix our saliva together?” Josh whined, “I REALLY think that’s gross, and since you’re a disgusting pony, I really don’t want to taste you more than I have to. Oh, and if possible, could you not touch any part of my body besides my shoulders? I’d rather you not do that. Oh, and do I have to whisper sweet nothings to you between momentary breaks in our kiss, or do I just…”

“DANG IT, THAT TEARS IT!” Applejack roared, angrily shoving Josh away and hurling him all the way against the wall, “AH’VE HAD IT WITH YOU! PREPARE FOR SOME PAIN, JOSHY BOY!” The pony kicked her hat aside, took a few paws on the floor, then charged straight at Josh and took a flying leap as she rushed straight at him.

“HEY! IT WAS MY FIRST TIME!” Josh protested, trying to pull himself away from the wall, “YOU CRAZY FEMALE! AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY THERE’S SO MANY GAY MALES ON MY WORLD!” Then, he was silenced as Applejack smashed down on top of him and began to deliver a good old-fashioned beat-down. She could care less about passive resistance and not demonstrating violence in front of the fillies; Josh needed to get his head knocked in a few times after what just happened.

Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle all watched the one-sided fight in silence, wide grins on their faces as they watched Josh get pummeled to death by the enraged Applejack. They knew that those who fought all the time really cared for each other, and this was a surefire way to get Josh more used to this world. That and it was just very entertaining to watch. Slowly, the three fillies looked at one another, then looked down at the bottle in front of them.

“So…whose turn was it?” Apple Bloom smiled.

Comments

[BlankFlankBrony]

*has completely cracked up laughing by the end of the chapter*

*catches his breath as a realization hits* ...are the CMC shipping Josh x Applejack? Because that's what it looks like.

And I find it freakin' hilarious. *dissolves back into laughter*

[XxTestName69xX]

Um... The hell just happened?

I'm afraid to see what Josh is going do for REVENGE

[Ice]

Those fillies aren't to smart are they.

[Hirn123]

Me Gusta xD

[NukaColaBomb]

Dunno why, but I'm kinda interested if we get some shipping with Applejack and Josh in this story, I'm always up for some good romance :D. But ANYWAYS, great chapter, you sir make me laugh every time. I will await the next chapter with much gusto!

[Sonicbrony66]

Applejack ye cruel mare... poor boy... didn't know what to do and nearly got killed...

Why isn't this an episode?

[Azzazel]

Poor bastard ... even though I understand him and/or saw the kissing part coming looking forward to the next chapter !

[Tailslover13]

91679 That would be because those were just random little fillies who were playing around; they weren't the Cutie Mark Crusaders. There ARE other fillies in that world, you know; not just them.

[Elkhorse]

"Guess you're just as bad as I am."
C'mon, do eeeit.

[Ablesoap]

Dats whay u get joshy bro

[Half-a-Yolk]

Called it. Me with at least half other readers.

[ravennaras]

two girls do not have hotdogs and so cannot use it on a taco to make a watermelon...that is how i'm going to tell my future kids how babies are made

[yusha]

i was thinking if he goes back to our world. he says like "finnaly i am saved of those ponies "have oyu heard about my little pony" "noooooooooooo" hats what i was thinking

[DF]

YES!

[Dogman15]

And now, a version of Josh with the blue streaks: 3520074110822893FFC49D000201DAF00UM173410400100071260314233BF70D107F3FCC004CB2
3520074110822893FFC49D000201DAF00UM173410400000071260314233BF70D107F3FCC004CB2 for having his ear up.
i1048.photobucket.com/albums/s366/Dogman-15/Joshver2.png

[Kuumatona]

“Just because she’s family doesn’t mean you have to love her,”

He's got a point.