18. Epilogue
Adrift Off
Fiddler's Green
A C o n v e r s i o n B u r e a u S t o r y
By Chatoyance
18. Epilogue
Jinx and Clover sat on the wooden floor in the main room of the plantation. They fidgeted uncomfortably.
Frontpage and Crimson sat across from them on the large sofa.
Crimson leaned forward, her weight on her forehooves as they pressed into the cushions. "Uncle Tumble and Aunt Peony are already making the arrangements. Plantain's even getting some of her old show crew to help us out with the hauling. I'm really, really sorry. I truly am. I know how much you love the place and..."
Clover couldn't take any more. "MOM! MOOOM!"
"Yes, beloved?" Crimson wanted to make this less difficult for her daughters, but she just didn't know how.
"Lemmy get this straight, okay?" Clover rocked back and forth. "You gots a job with the princess."
"Yes, honey. I'm going to be the 'Royal Advisor On Postequinism And Singulatarian Issues' for the crown. That's why we have to move. It also makes it easier on daddy Frontpage because Canterlot is where his job is too. He won't have to commute any more." When the tears came, Crimson was ready, and she had alerted Frontpage to be ready as well for maximum comforting. The Acres plantation was the only home the two little fillies had ever known.
Clover looked briefly at Jinx, who was being very stoic. As usual. "So. We gonna move to Canterlot, where th' castle is. An' live in the town next to the castle. In a super fancy place."
"Yes. A tower, actually. It's very lovely - it's a minaret tower, with a spiral hooframp and really big windows and a magnificent view of..."
"And we're not gonna ever hafta come back here, with the spiders and all the bananas?" Clover stared pointedly at her mother.
Crimson wore a concerned look on her muzzle. "No, though we could visit, if you wanted. The banana spiders have gained citizenship; I've deeded the plantation to them. They will run everything from now on. They're willing to let us visit, if we ask in advance..."
Clover stood up. "ABOUT MUFFIN' TIME!"
Jinx finally had something to say. "Toy stores, ice cream, other fillies to play with, book shops, clothing stores, Starcolts!" She thought briefly. "No more bananas!" Her look of relief was almost radiant.
Clover, the littlest, was as predicted, in tears. Angry tears. "WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE DONE THIS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER?" She was bawling as she stomped around the room "SO MANY WASTED YEARS ON THIS MUFFIN PLANTATION WITH THOSE MUFFIN SPIDERS!" She spent some time wailing, stomping and saying 'muffin' over and over.
"I'm going to start packing!" Jinx immediately trotted off, excited and determined.
"WAIT FOR ME! WAIT, JINX! WAIT FOR ME! JINX! WAIT!" Tantrum forgotten, Clover galloped after her older sister.
Crimson called after them both "but it's a month before we even have to... !" She shut her mouth and sighed.
"That went... well." Frontpage wrapped his forelegs around his mare.
"Better than expected... I guess." Crimson's ears were low. "Well, I'm going to miss the place. It's hot... hot all the time. It's dirty, there's nothing around for dozens of furlongs in any direction, it's boring, dusty, hot - did I mention hot?"
"You did. I was paying attention."
"So hot. And with a broken Bevelmeiter it's just... " Crimson gave a soft sob. "...I can't believe I'm going to miss this place. I only took over because Plantain didn't want any part of it. Even mother, when she came back from the dead... she went straight to Canterlot. She was so tired of the plantation... but I'm going to miss it! There must be something wrong with me. I need to get respawned or something."
"It's home. Home is... well, it's home. You had a lot of good decades growing up here with your sister. A lot of good memories, I'm sure." Frontpage wiped a tear from Crimson's cheek.
"Yes. Just wonderful memories. Plantain, mother, bunnies, bunnies - there were a lot of bunnies around. Sometimes it was like a carpet of the things. Until the Institute and everything." Crimson sniffed. "I guess I thought Jinx and Clover would miss it too."
Frontpage gently stroked Crimson's withers. "They're fillies, and the city calls. It's a strange eon and death itself has died. A brave new world with ponies such as these in it. Shall I go on?"
Crimson sniffed and giggled softly. "I'm almost tempted to say yes."
"Don't, I've run out of decent quotes." Frontpage gave her a kiss on the poll "They're going to be disappointed when they find out we don't have to leave for another month, you know." The sounds of packing were loud and furious. Jinx and Clover couldn't wait to get to Canterlot City.
"Yes, I suppose they will be." Crimson snuggled into Frontpage's barrel on the sofa. He continued to stroke her withers.
"We could just go. The spiders wouldn't even notice, from what you've told me. We could eat in Ponyville. I know a great little Italian bistro there." Frontpage grinned.
"Does it have a unique view of the sky? No thanks." Crimson grinned back. "But... I could go for Sichuan."
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Semi-random associative thought:
This story ends in an opposite manner to Zardoz.
7598859
Yes, it does indeed! Interesting observation!
I cannot accept any necessity or benefit to death. I think that any person who offers that death is positive in any way suffers from existential Stockholm Syndrome. Or depression. Serious, chronic depression.
I often hear things like "Oh, I wouldn't want to live forever, what if I got bored?" - well, then you are an unimaginative dolt who has given up on learning and discovering new things. Like the pathetic twits in Zardoz, in part.
Or "Death is a natural part of life!" - Yes, so is cholera and infection, but we have potassium salts and antibiotics because Nature is bullshit. Every last thing Man has ever done, he has done to fight how bullshit Nature is. Using fire, to stay warm and avoid being eaten is a prime example.
Or "Without death, things would never change!" - Maybe you would never change, unknown but remembered poster on some forum somewhere, but for anyone with the least speck of curiosity and the desire to grow as a person, everything will change every decade or so, because that's what a growing person does.
I am a transhumanist. I value climbing past being a shaved ape, I value becoming more than meat. I see the hope that intelligence and will can grant us all of our dreams for real. The possibility, that hope, is genuinely within realistic grasp for the first time in history. I could never write otherwise, at the end of such a story of Something Better... which is at the heart of the Conversion Bureau.
If anything defines the Bureau genre it is that: the presentation of Something Better Than Man.
Fortunately, Discord's flashback was highly symbolic, so Cap'n Cthulhu probably won't be coming back.
In any case, I'm very sad to see it end. I watched this subgenre flourish. I watched the backlash. I hung around Spacebattles for a bit, trying to understand why even as a group of writers collaborated to elevate most of the show's main characters to immortal superbeings, they scorned and loathed a collaboration that offered the same potential to humanity. And now? The horse has been beaten to the point where I don't think anyone would dare try to ride it again sincerely. I admit, I'm not that brave.
But let us think of happier things. The backlash cannot take away the good times and the incredible stories that came with them. In the end, in spite of the spite, you got out your complete saga of a fascinating take on Equestria and what happened when it collided with an unsuspecting planet full of moderately evolved apes in need of a miracle. Thank you for it, and congratulations on doing so. Good luck in whatever you do next.
(Also, one last question: What was the plan for the world-permeating support structure/supertechnology before we learned about the Tree of Harmony?)
7598887 The idea of living forever, always learning and growing... That is the most provocatively tempting idea with FiO.
What is tempting about the Conversion Bureau stories is that it doesn't require sacrificing an attachment for the physical realm, just a conversion to a different realm.
An amusing idea to ponder ... What if CelestAI finds a way for her ponies to explore the void between universes? What if one of those intrepid explorers encounter the CB universe-ship?
7598912
I was just going to have my Multiversal Mover as is, straight from my graphic novels. Black ribbon, and bam, the control deck with the floating stone. But, the Tree Of Harmony, when it showed up in the show, really caught my eye! It looks like technology, and it just clicked with me - damn, I thought, that totally plugs in to my conception of Equestria as a hyperspace machine. It was so perfect that I was happy to include it. It was as if the show was on the same page with me. Not true, of course, of course. But it seemed like it. I jumped on the Tree and ran with it.
Thank you so much for your patronage, reading my words. Thank you.
I weep this morning, both at the joy you have wrought over the years to those like myself and Midnight Shadow, and in sadness that this is the end of your work.
It would be a selfish thing of me to not want you to stop writing precious pony works... but it would be more so to insist you continue when the spark isn't there any longer.
It has been an honor and a privilege, dear Chatoyance. I am proud to call you my friend.
Thanks for the great ride, Chat, and it was one croissant of a roller coaster, wasn't it?!
Of course I look at the end of your series with very mixed emotions. Your TCB stories played a huge part in attracting my to this community and to start writing my own stories, something that has been enormously rewarding for me over the last few years.
I know that all things must pass, and TCB has had a good gallop. Still, I hope to see more of your fiction either here or elsewhere on the web in the coming years. Somehow I suspect you still have much to contribute to the debate on the future of our world and of humanity. Keep up the good fight!
With love and admiration,
Daf
Sad to see its over, but, all things move forward, we will see what comes next.
I guess they really were driven bananas. *Gives a long sigh* I know what you really mean though... Well, I'm ready to go. Where to next, Chat?
Great epilogue, I'll be sad to see you go, but I understand why you're leaving. Please let us know where you're going from here. I remember you mentioned something about writing more stories set in the Optimalverse a year ago, is that still something you're thinking about doing? And yeah, I'm with you on wanting to live forever, though I do wish I could hibernate or something, and just sleep through the shitty times. That said, I don't blame the fillies for wanting to get out of the boonies ASAP, my brother and I reacted similarly to getting the muffin swirl out of the one-horse town we grew up in.
And I LOLed so hard at your cartoon. Sent cola squirting out my nose.
7600550
Oh, I'll check in from time to time, this is not at all like I am 'leaving', as in a huff. There are still a few stories by other authors I want to finish reading... if they do finish them. Yours is one, in fact!
But... I don't have any more stories in me that truly need to get written. That's all.
7600707 I see. In that case, I'll do my best not to disappoint.
7598887 I agree with quite a lot of this.
I had more to add, but I lost it in a browser error. I'll add more when I've got time to add things.
Thank you very much for finishing this story! It makes a splendid finale to the series, and is deeply satisfying.
7617936
Thank you, for reading it! Seriously, thank you. Without smart readers, nothing I do matters in the least.
7617972
It was (literally) my pleasure!
Thank you for finishing this one up! I've been waiting years to see where this ended up, and definitely not disappointed! Some projects need more time than others to truly be done. Was getting a bit teary towards the end too. Also the illustrations were nice little touches too.
Take care wherever you go!
-Shinskii
7632281
I am really happy you liked it. I am sorry it took so very long.
7634013 No need to apologize for it taking time, good art takes a while to make and is something you do when the mood's just "right" (but then again you already know that pretty well :P.) Plus I've waited twice as long for other stories too heehe.
Well, some time ago I knew it would be a good idea to mark this story for reading later, when it was completed.
Quality-wise, this is typical Chatoyance. Absolutely well written and a delight to read.
7647447
Thank you for that! I was... worried... that after two years I would be unable to return and finish it correctly. It helps to hear that the story worked.
7697004 Oh, but I love Steven Universe, and Garnet especially. She is soooo awesome!
7698235
Thank you for reading it, good and dear Alfador.
You aren't secretly Ursula Le Guin in disguise, are you?
7751461
Of course not: I am right handed, and filled with light.
7754487 Why did I Immediately get that reference...
7923770
I like that you catch all the references - from Twilight Zone to Hitchhiker's! Yay!
The spiders finally get personhood. ¿What about all of the other nonequine sapients?
8429777.
Your welcome
Well, it was definitely a long read. About half way through the saga, when you first mentioned the mechanics and dewomer blocks (I think) ,as opposed to atoms ,it just didn't sit right with me nor did it add up. Eventually I chalked it up to 'another universe's building blocks.
When the scientists were trying to make the conversion serum and they commented that spells looked more like programing instructions,
when scientist s got to Equestria and started looking at matter closer, it looked more like a block.
When the Good Families got converted and Celestia didn't enable them to reproduce,
All of these and more ,while separately seemed innocuous, but together started adding up.to something bigger. I started thinking that Equestria seemed more like a simulation as opposed to a separate universe.
Then, when Frontpage entered the control room, that pretty much cinched it for me. It was very clever.
Your reality poses a question as to what is the nature of your universe is. Mundis was atoms, while Equestria is computer generated blocks, which leads me to ask what is the HMS Equestria made of. Or maybe I am missing something.
Having read the FiO stories I can see a lot of silarities and differences. The biggest one, for me is FiO doesn't let you change once you are uploaded, whereas CB does. If I had to pick between the two yours seems the Optimal choice.
8439273
The HMS Equestria is made of the same Dweons as the rest of Equestria - it is just another projection, manufactured by the Multiversal Mover's machine intelligence. Essentially, the whole thing is a mobile 'Krell' machine - it can react to minds that are transferred into it, and can generate environments as needed or as best it can infer are needed. Another way to think of my Equestria is as a sort of inter-universe travelling holodeck... only instead of building worlds with light and force fields, it builds them for real, out of synthetic atoms. The manufactured things are quite solid and real, including beings, life forms and entities. A holodeck that makes reality, instead of illusion.
The HMS Equestria was the Mover's attempt to interpret the mind of a Newfoal - a human-ish mind in a pony body. This was something new to it - only Luna, Celestia and Discord had ever used it at a root level before - and the machine simply did the best it could with such an alien consciousness in control. It took images from Frontpage's thoughts and memories, and concocted a representation as a means to attempt to communicate with him... and keep him alive. The ship was simply made of the same stuff as everything else in Equestria, just off in a separate 'memory space' within the 'computer'... sort of. Being in this Multiversal Mover Equestria is not the same as being emigrated to a virtual existence... the Mover isn't a computer, and there is no 'Celest A. I.' in charge. It is a ship that travels between universes, that must be piloted and controlled, within which real things really exist. It is a god-machine, if you like, invented by Chthonian horrors from beyond space and time.
I have worked very hard to make all of my Bureau stories act as a single, cohesive, interlocking 'reality', where every single novel references or shows views that can coexist, or do exist, in all the other novels. I have worked to place hints and clues to everything, in everything, so that should the entirety be read, all would consistently reference itself as if the whole was 'true'. Like a future history of actual events.
This novel, the final one in the series, was my opportunity to cash in all the other books - to lay everything out, plainly, all secrets revealed, all explanations given. It was also a chance to provide a happy ending for every character in all the other books, because... even if I may put my characters through difficult events, I always desire a truly happy ending for them. For everyone.
[it always tempting to look at the end of story and get all the answers, but guess I better to enjoy natural timeflow for now]
I was thinking about why someone who looks like giant horse, who can travel time and space, and think fast, and has power of will and understanding and love - why this being may ever have any reason to try to save humans, different in form, and in very core set of what is good?! So, I really don't want to see Celestia as just another dictator, and Equestria as nothing more but badly-copypasted Earth's reality. So let Celestia be actual near-god, but who truely care, learn how to care about someone VERY different, and always struggle to find non-asshole way to solve problems ...
But really, how exactly such being can arrive to any conclusion about us, humans, what exactly drives us? Did she visited Earth in _her_ dreams first? Did she developed some connection to humans based on their ..sameness? But at that level - level of power? Power of will? Power of IGNORE someone? Or different kinds of powers, like ability to seeinvisible tendencies, and still be kind enough for not exploit them? How she will figure out world, exactly?
Basing her thinking on myself - may be she really will be attracted to some world leaders, wisit their meory at night and even at day, without interfering first..out of simple desire not to disturb! And gradually develop sense of wrongness, dislike for those types of humans, by analyzing how they feel, work..how guarded they against some spects of reality. So, she probably will start to search another kind of sameness in humans.. so, logically away from high circles? Did she really developed scientific method, not aided by complete discaring about 'experimental animals'? I hope she did! After all, she can get a lot more time for thinking due to her ....special powers.
Or may be she really will visit random humans ..and other beings ....learning how to be ...be human, be ape, by python, be plant? But then, why human civ in particular may appear to her so important? Powerful, ruling, but ..lacking stuff even 'animals' have despite their limitations? Or one can imagine she first will 'visit' horse ('he, this one look exactly like me!), and work out of this example ... Yes, she-God assumed to know everything from the look of it. Instant separation. But in reality? If 'God' basically preprogrammed to rigidly pick 'this and that architecture, culture and not anything different' - it probably very narrow God .. God-bot :}
So, 'my' Celestia develop plot, but very unhuman in its very nature ...Truely caring, but not just about humans. Again, it all about timing. If Equestria arrive with such catastrophic effect in era when humans really can pull their part by having some concepts and means developed, yet anyone (dolphins, dogs, horses ..) else basically absent - ok, humans blow everyone's future into dust, lets try to save what remains. But whole initial shock idea was Celestia's and whole her globe arrival into _today_ world...because all stories I've read so far written by humans, and most humans heavily anthropocentrized and hierarchized - yes, Celestia will go to world leaders...hey, how she ever pick them up from all humans living on earth? something usually not described in any detail.... having ethically-consistent sapient horse-'god' not losing herself to madworld of Earth and still working according to at least character (she had 1000s of external spacetime for this development..but will she do it in absence of true others? in absence of any desire and need for going outside her usual circle of thoughts? development, not just acting by instant predefined knowledge about what is right and what is wrong ...wow, such a task!
As sidenote .. Greek 'Gods' ..what if they were not reflections of real power entities, nor just our naivety, but ..cautionary tales about overpowered beings?? May be they all even were somewhat overblown humans one day ..and died / vanished from playing human-way with too big cup of power ....Hey, I can even imagine alt. Jesus. C who *was* tri-core God, developed in interactions between him/otherselves over thousands of years from some human magician, and simply killed (!) by all this shit humans did in his name in last 2 000 + years ..... because if you start to _really_ care about what humans do .....and they just show you how they don't give a damn you and your feelings again, again, and again ... something real bad about to occur, logically!
So...
I finished the conversion bureau series at last.
What a beautiful ending to a beautiful collection of stories.
Six weeks of reading = done. Six weeks that have undoubtedly altered the way I see the world, forever.
Here's my usual review, thoughts that I wrote down as I went through the story.
All of proper Equestria? But... but... Alexi Venälainen!
Gigantic cliffhanger!
I actually assumed something terrible had happened here, and I just happened to have to leave at that point. So I spent about five hours assuming that the computer simulation running Equestria had started to break down... Needless to say, it was a bit of a relief to find out what actually caused that blackness.
Dammit so he's one of those people ponies who thinks it's okay to mentally objectify
womenmares. I hoped those sorts of attitudes would have disappeared once the humans have become Equestrians.Though, thinking about it... maybe I'm biased due to me being demisexual and not being able to emphasize with people who, well, aren't, and who do get attracted to people based primarily on looks.
Still, I do wish that phrase "easy on the eyes" would die out from the lexicon as soon as possible. Maybe I'm being unfair here, but that phrase just feels like another tool of the patriarchy.
*shrug*
Oh this little journalist is wonderfully direct with his thought processes.
I have never had an onion bagel, but it sounds tasty. I should try making some sometime.
However, I'm struggling to work out how it's relevant here, as this doesn't seem to be a case of "ponies using food as curse words".
Yay! Even the horrors of consumerism have become redeemed into something beautiful in Equestria. Throwaway cardboard cups -> reusable ones which happen to be pretty. Brilliant. I wish Earth companies would do that sort of thing.
Welp, Frontpage is officially a pony-who-is-liable-to-not-really-thinking-about-others'-feelings. :(
in "Crimson took control of himself", I think "Crimson" should be "Frontpage". Otherwise this sentence doesn't make sense.
Ewwww this is not a mental image that I wanted to have.
Ah, a bittersweet ghost of Earth values still haunting Equestrians a century later.
Bittersweet, of course, because it makes Peony feel happier and more confident with herself, which is really nice, but the very concept of needlework being linked to femininity has rather unpleasant patriarchial origins.
Reminds me of a conversation I had with a trans-exclusionary radical feminist online, a few months ago. She just couldn't understand why trans women often end up associating with things that are stereotypically feminine, because she viewed the concept of femininity as a collection of weaknesses forced onto women by the patriarchy, and she considered the very process of transition to be merely a process of reinforcing the binary of gender roles.
thing is... yes, some trans people do behave in like with gender stereotypes, but so what? It's just a natural consequence of being brought up in our gender-segregated society. So, if going along with and reclaiming originally-patriarchial stereotypes makes people feel happier and more comfortable with who they are, then it can only be a good thing :) (Just so long as you don't try to force said stereotypes on others, of course).
Actually, maybe this is why I like crochet and sewing so much... Maybe I'm like Peony. Huh. I never really thought about before.
Uncle Tumble talks like a computer!
ooh, creepy shimmery existy-but-not-really-existy stuff that feels wrong!
reminds me a bit of Mimsy were the Borogoves, as well as that story "The Secret Number" by Igor Teper.
it's interesting that the concept of uncertainty of existence can make us feel so weird.
Oh....
Fedora. Of course. So that's why Frontpage is geeky and somewhat misogynist– a reference to the "neckbeard" stereotype.
Silly Tumble. Don't worry about talking to the dead– just embrace the opportunity!
That's a pretty understandable attitude to have. Though it doesn't actually solve anything and I think it's better to not really worry about loss of identity.
LOL.
I propose that "doggie" replace "dawg" in all instances of that meme in the future. "Doggie" is just really funny in this context.
And there's an even older meme!
Nice FiO reference. It's an interesting theory that humans actually can't be uploaded into computers due to quantum effects being necessary for human consciousness to function.
though in reality, even if it was the case that quantum uncertainty is a keystone of human mind, I'd have thought that a computer would be able to simulate it via some sort of pseudorandomness or true randomness.
Beatles reference? :D
Ooh, very nice song. It fits with the story well.
I can't believe there's such a good Dubliners song that I'd never heard of before... I thought I knew a lot of Irish music, but maybe not.
Yes, Crimson, it is indeed generally considered somewhat creepy to touch oneself in public.
Though, who knows, maybe Equestrians are more accepting of that sort of thing?
corollary of Clarke's third law... any sufficiently-analysed magic is indistinguishable from science. As far as I'm concerned, Crimson's soul is simultaneously spiritual and a data storage system.
Poor thing. I bet she found comfort in knowing that she was under the wing of the princesses, and she's just got scared by learning about what the laws of the universe are.
How very typical of Discord!
Obligatory link to a song.
isn't the distinction between the two is fairly meaningless? I don't see how you could say that this strange race "aren't really gods", given that any sufficiently advanced civilization is indistinguishable from a god.
For the same reason, I don't get why people consider there to be a difference between the simulation hypothesis and creationism, when both scenarios can literally be described as "a great being created our universe and has complete control to change any part of it on a whim".
So... I'm guessing it's a literal castle copied from Earth that founded Equestria, with some sort of weirdness with time differences between universes because Equestria was founded ten thousand years ago– before any Earth castles were built.
But everything else in Luna's tale, (the boat, the ocean, the rain, etc), is a metaphor. A clever way of resolving the problem of trying to describe something that can't be imagined by beings as puny as us.
As for the universe analogy... it's kind of like a reverse-Narnia. In The Magician's Nephew, puddles of water were universes inside a wide expanse of dimly-lit land between universes; in this story, islands are universes within a dimly-lit sea between universes. In this story it's an analogy rather than something literal, but still it's a nice parallel. Probably an accidental parallel, though, lol.
Very well said by Crimson.
OH MY GOSH THIS IS A BRILLIANT IDEA
LIKE, SERIOUSLY
you know... when i was younger, like aged 10 to 13-ish... I used to constantly daydream of this happening. I used to wish that I would one day be able to wake up as a baby girl, keeping my memories but regaining the innocence of a little child.
i'd kind of forgotten about those dreams until now...
Equestria, as a land that's Basically Heaven, should definitely do this.
I'm sure a lot of ponies would appreciate the opportunity to become a foal again. Well, okay, yes, in our world the infantilism/ABDL community is fairly small, but Equestria is very different from Earth, both regarding what is culturally acceptable and regarding what is technologically possible. In Equestria, if everypony knows that rebirth is a very much normal option for ponies to take (with or without memory loss), I think it'd be quite popular. :)
...
...
that's not even a newfoal name. It's an actual native name of someone from the world of Equestria.
*facehoof*
I sincerely hope that synonyms of flatulence aren't actually common names in Equestria.
Good solution... it's just a shame that ponies have to live within the restrictions of the partially-human nature of those three cities.
Well, it's for the greater good, I guess. Celestia probably made the right decision to allow human culture to survive in that region, but it must have been a difficult decision.
❤️❤️❤️
beautiful ending... :')
finally, all are reunited in love.
so much happier than the ending of the original Taste of Grass story.
So it turns out that that one sad bit that, at the very beginning of the series, nearly put me off reading these stories– Caprice dying after spending most of her 150-years in exile and separated from her family– got retconned anyway.
--------------
for the record, here's a list of words that I learnt from this story:
Lemminkäinen – shamanistic figure from Finnish mythology
Jean Grey – Character from the X-Men superhero franchise, who sounds quite nice from a cursory read of her Wikipedia article
Chyme – semidigested food
Haint – U.S. dialectical term for a ghost
Poppinjay – heraldic depiction of a parrot.
Coruscating – sparkling, shimmering.
Tenebrous – dark and gloomy.
Hmm. Only seven words that I didn't know. Not too bad :)
--------------
So, my thoughts on this series as a whole.
Just six weeks of reading, that have surely changed my life forever.
I can't believe I nearly abandoned it after The Taste of Grass. All in all... this series is definitely the best thing I've read or watched in my life. By a significant margin.
Maybe I'm just thinking that way because I'm still on the emotional high of the stories... but I don't think so. I think it's permanent.
Okay, what made this series so much better than literally anything I've ever read before? What makes it even better than the MLP cartoon, better than the classic sci-fi novels? I think it's just that this series is a rare combination of various really good things. Namely:
1) It's really emotional. Well, to call it "really emotional" is kind of an understatement... it's just wow.
2) the detailed presence of trans characters in particular makes it even more emotional.
3) this universe feels more "real" than many fantasy universes, being set on Earth in the near future. Makes the lessons feel more applicable.
4) The story is rooted in a clever science-fiction premise, that we can't really fully understand the details of but it's designed to be that way. The "Gods are artificial intelligences that got abandoned by their creators" idea is really unique.
5) It's a very long story collection... lots of words... more and more time to get a feel for the situation... more time to enjoy the stories.
6) The beliefs espoused in this story were generally good. All the stuff like showing the danger of humans behaving selfishly. It's not like some stoeires, where you can tell the author has some not-very-nice beliefs through the way that the characters act.
7) Very little violence, profanity, etc. I liked that :)
Some stories have a few of those points. None that I know of, apart from this one, come anywhere near to having all seven.
Knowing now how good this series is, I'd have gladly paid a considerable amount of money for each of the stories. Instead, they were completely free. A true gem that should definitely be more popular than it is.
you know... even boiling this series down to seven positive points like that feels like I'm doing it injustice. I just don't have the words for how incredible it is.
The effects it's had on me...
I think it inspired me to become more ponylike. Like Sunshine and Millicent and Caprice and Ginger and Petrichor and all the others... their love and light is just so addictive. I've tried spreading it on... and I think the inspiration of all these ponies is motivating me to help people feel better. I know for sure that the lessons from this series let me help one person who I care very much about become happier with herself. Hopefully I'll continue to help people like this. :)
And ironically for a story about ending death, I think this series has actually made me comfortable with my own nature (including mortality). A few years ago, when trying to work out the meaning of life in an uncaring universe, I resorted to transhumanism. Back then, I thought, there is no meaning of life, and death is bad, but eventually there will be a purpose for it all when we all get to an artificial paradise.
But I think the Conversion Bureau saga has truly hammered into me that, while you can dream, you also need to have a meaning for real life at the moment, given the circumstances that you're in. For me, this means just doing stuff to make people happier at the moment. It doesn't matter whether I die in 1000 years' time, 100 years' time, 50 years' time, or 10 years' time. Or anything. Sure, I would like to live forever, but I have no control over whether that happens so it's no use worrying about it. All that matters is that I'm here now, in a world that isn't perfect, that has good things but also very bad things... and all I can do at the moment... all I need to do at the moment... is just make people feel happier. I guess that's my life goal.
I'm now (perhaps a bit too forcefully, lol) in the process of extolling the benefits of this conversion bureau series to people who might benefit from it as I did.
So, what next for me.
No more serious reading for a while. The impact of this series is still sinking in!
But I have many other stories I discovered in the process... things like more Conversion Bureau stories by other authors, and those other stories by Chatoyance (the injectorverse story, a few short stories, and that Unicorn Jelly webcomic, maybe others), and the Lord Dunsany novels, and probably much more stuff on my "to read" list that I've forgotten at the moment. So I'll get back to reading soon.
And I'll get to writing! I've outlined a new Conversion Bureau story, and will probably start writing it soon. Watch this space.
So... that's it. Six weeks of reading, done. All good things come to an end. But what a wonderful six weeks it was!
Dear Ms Petal Chatoyance,
Thank you so very much for your stories.
For all the tears of joy that they have brought me.
I shall never forget,
and I shall strive to become a pony in my heart as much as I possibly can.
Thank you.
<3
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This, quite simply, is the greatest compliment and validation for writing these stories I could ever have. When I started... all of this... I was feeling hope again, for the first time in so many years. I was high as a kite on the notion that perhaps, just maybe, there was an island of Things Getting Better out in the vast evil sea that was both the internet, and humanity which is the content of the internet. Pony. The New Sincerity. Love And Tolerate. Friendship Is Magic. Hope for a world of kindness.
In my stories I tried to show both the good and bad of humanity, but above all, I wanted to show what humanity could be, I wanted to show Better. Kinder. Nicer. How that would work, how that would look, how that could be manifested. And I wanted to be that Better, and I wanted a road map that showed me how to become it more and more.
And, I wanted to show others that map. I wanted more Better, all around.
There is no higher thing my writing could ever do that actually engender, within someone, the yearning to be kinder and nicer. It is what I value above all, and to share any portion of that valuation just makes me happy.
So... 'yay!'
Frontpage is best read - or heard within the mind's ear - speaking in a Mid-Atlantic, Transatlantic accent. He is a 1940's movie newspaper reporter character. And the same is true of Crimson Acres. They are Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn, basically. They are products of human culture. Frontpage idolizes the Ideal of a movie reporter from that era - he would have watched and rewatched countless pictures from that period at the holokiosk, and Crimson - as Petra - would have grown up amidst the culture of the Good Families which, in many ways, clung to Ideals of a more prosperous past... and a more Golden elite.
Just another aspect of the internal, mental simulation that is my method of writing. The world is a character too, just as important as the speaking roles, and details define it. The details of a fictional world are its dialogue and action in every scene. For me, this is the only way a realm like my vision of Equestria could be - free from the horrors of human greed and human waste and human uncaring.
Like all such things in my writing, it is based on reality. For me, it is not sewing - which I am awful at - but doing the dishes. I used to loathe, and be grossed out by, doing dishes, but now it is something I gain a curious joy from. And I know why this is so, and it is entirely due to my... gender adventure... the struggle to achieve my physical sex. This theme is seen in many of my stories, most notably in Teacup. Teacup and Petal are easily overwhelmed and filled with joy at simple Equestrian things, and it is because they are Newfoals, because they have been transformed, that this is so. That joy is precious, despite the fact that it is born entirely from Otherness and separation. That is me, still dealing with my transsexuality.
From the viewpoint of the political deconstruction of gender-as-performance, I know that I am indulging in scraps afforded me by the existence of patriarchy. Doing traditionally 'feminine' work, and feeling joy about it, because it somehow feels as if it validates my mere breathing within this horrid world cannot be said to be overly 'enlightened'. But, frankly, it is still joy - and there is often precious little joy in life. Patriarchy, and the enforcement of gender performance is not going to vanish this century - even if we are all uploaded into some virtual realm as emulated minds it will not vanish. It will all come with, because people cannot be changed so easily, nor the entire culture of humanity reformed... perhaps even at all.
Fuck it, I say. Take joy where thou mayest. If it makes a person, a freak, an aberration, a biological mutant like myself feel marginally better about existing in the world to perform some menial task strongly associated with the sex and gender I have risked my very life to be permitted to exist as, then FANTASTIC! I deserve that joy, however it is achieved, wherever it comes from, regardless of why it exists. And so does every other transsexual, transgenderal, or othergendered person. Joy is precious, and our lives are - especially - difficult.
Let the Newfoals thrill to the Equestrian mundane. It is what compensation there is for the pain of having had to grow up... on earth.
Oh, yes. Very much so. And Equestria is a Krawlni Multiversal Mover. Why? Because:
Unicorn Jelly
Pastel Defender Heliotrope
To Save Her
That is my Tryslmaistan Trilogy. Three online graphic novels, one vast saga. Plus a coloring book!
unicornjelly.com/images/arrive1.gif
I had some fun with that. In the original show, the Diamond Dogs talked in a halting manner reserved for cartoon villains like Beast Man addressing Skeletor. I ran with that and decided that the Dogs talked that way not because they were stupid and villainous, but because their brains worked differently. But that difference should not mean they were Lesser, and to show that, I greatly enjoyed having Tumble discuss deep philosophical issues properly... in the same halting speech. It is funny, but it also makes a statement too, I like to think.
I want to thank you, very much, Waterlilly, for reading my fiction. Thank you for your insightful and considered comments. Thank you for entering my worlds and letting the characters live inside your mind for a bit. And thank you for your kindness about what you have read.
It has been a joy following your posts, and I am grateful for it.
Thank you, Waterlilly.
- Chatoyance
[finished this one]
Nothing saves author better than good laugh (whole freezing episode at the beginning made me laugh hard! "yellow journalism" :D).
But apparently without reading remaining books picture still incomplete. I still can't imagine how biology worked (it all was simulated? so no reactions between dewons until they programmed to interact in some manner?)
- seconded this.
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:')
It is indeed a very good road map. A bible, if you will. I'll definitely recommend this series to anyone who might appreciate it :)
Bit of a shame that more people didn't appreciate those lessons. When you think about it, what happened with the Conversion Bureau fandom was so tragic and pointless.
MLP:FiM is a keystone of the New Sincerity movement, giving an understanding of positive emotion, of kindness, of friendship, to people who otherwise wouldn't have known how to understand it as well. And what this Conversion Bureau series does is take that perspective and expand it. This series takes the PG fantasy universe of MLP:FiM, and expands it into a greater world including Earth, showing the nastier bits of life– to give a wider variety of MLP-style lessons that are relevant to the humans who will read these stories, within the realm of an interesting science-fiction/fantasy universe.
It worked out so well– but at the same time it went wrong a bit. The problem is that the first impression that many of the human readers got is that the process of mandatory ponification was an attack on their very human identity. And when you read the stories with that perspective in your head, the nature of the stories changes completely. Suddenly, it's no longer a story of redemption and love bring the humans home into a kinder world, but instead it's twisted into an evil caricature of that– it becomes a story of nasty invader ponies forcing themselves onto humanity and forcibly pacifying humans against their wishes. And once the human mind has a preconception like that, no matter how irrational said preconception may be, it's very difficult to get rid of it.
But that doesn't matter. Some people will have sadly missed out on the lessons due to their own prejudices making them unable to take the lessons in, but on the other hand, many people such as me can and do appreciate these stories for what they truly are.
All in all, I think it's fair to say that these stories will have enlightened quite a few people, and that's really good. It looks like there's someone else who just finished reading this story now, just a couple of hours ago, who's been learning some of the same lessons as me!
Understood, Frontpage is just a relic of a time gone by; the 1940s were an era when sexism was normalized far more than it is today.
I guess these attitudes will fade away over time in Equestria.
Wow, I hadn't considered how the tale of Teacup and Petal might provide an analogy with the experiences of transsexuals. That does put a new perspective on those stories... :)
hehe, as far as I'm concerned, there's no such thing as a more "enlightened" form of joy. We're all children of the same cruel little world, and find our happiness as a direct consequence of that.
At first, when I began to realize I was transgender, I questioned myself constantly. I thought "gender is just a social construct, so if I identify with one particular gender and behave within the stereotypes of that gender, am I not reinforcing harmful gender norms? How is it possible for me to be innately be a particular gender when gender has no absolute meaning?"
But then I realized there's no point in wondering what the absolute truth is, and just look at myself as a being who's shaped by all the waves, the expectations, the subtle pressures, of society that I've experienced throughout my life. Everyone is a being like that, and deserves to have their own joy in their own way. You can answer all your questions and doubts this way.
All types of joy are equally deserving of being felt, no matter how inglorious the background behind them may have been. If you feel joy in fulfilling traditional gender roles, then yay! You've found a way to be happy! And that is good!
I'm a little bit more hopeful than that. Patriarchy is really well-entrenched, yes– but on the other hand, just look at the social progress that's occurred in the last few decades.
All of us who dare to go against that pervasive culture of "two rigid genders exist which have associated gender norms which must always be followed, and people of the same gender may not romantically love one another, and gender is permanently defined by the body parts one is born with" in any way are, in our own way, helping to dismantle the patriarchy. It's a mammoth task, and maybe it won't be completed this century, but eventually I think it will. I hope it will.
Exactly! This hits the nail on the head.
Except I wouldn't use terms like "freak" or "aberration" or "biological mutant", because even when you try to reclaim them, they can still feel self-deprecating sometimes. I think there are nicer alternatives, like "butterfly". That's something my girlfriend came up with a few weeks ago (though I'm sure lots of people have thought of it before)– likening the process of transition to a chrysalis opening up into a beautiful butterfly. I thought that was quite a lovely analogy :)
I googled the Krawlni Multiversal Mover, and came up with this and this.
So... all of your major stories have the same sort of idea behind them. That's kind of neat.
The whole "a universe made of bits copied from universes" thing reminds me of the premise behind the One over Zero webcomic. But I think your interpretation is better, as the Krawlni Multiversal Mover seems to have rules behind it, whereas the translocations in 1/0 occurred more or less on the whim of the author.
I'll definitely start reading that Tryslmaistan Trilogy soon! :)
It does make a statement– just compare with the situation of, say, African-Americans, who were (and still sometmes are) often thought of as being inferior/less clever due to their unique dialect of English (AAVE). Dialect and speech pattern is, unfortunately, a bit part of social status and perception on Earth; it can be seen all over the place.
It's a shame that Equestria has their own version of Earth's problems in terms of looking down on those who speak differently, but at the same time, such similarities do make a pretty good point that you can relate to.
I'm so glad to hear that my reviews could make you happy a bit :)
That's what I've decided that the purpose of my life will be. Making people happy. And I'm so very happy that I could make you happy by the process of writing reviews of stories that made me happy :) It's a cycle of joy!
- Waterlily
Lots of delicious worldbuilding and as always beautiful writing. I may be unable to integrate this story into the rest of the universe you've created, but I still loved every moment of reading it. Thank you for sharing this story with us :) I am glad that I finally got around to reading it.
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Thank you for reading my words!
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I know this is an old comment, but this really isn't the objection most people had to TCB. It wasn't so much that mandatory conversion was an attack on human identity, but more it was an attack on free will.
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Anyone could refuse. Refusing would not stop the earth from dying from overexploitation and the human destruction of the biosphere, but... anyone could refuse.
Nobody was required to get on Lifeboat Equestria.
So... free will was absolutely maintained.
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Don't get me wrong. I agree. I'm just pointing out that's how most people saw it.
Personally, I have no problem with collectivism of this type. As long as it was voluntary. I would never become a pony though. Just a matter of personal preference. Of course, this is why your story, 10 Minutes: Aftermath was so hated. Because in that story, Celestia did violate free will.
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Twern't MY story. I was writing in Brony Of Steel's universe, he had a very different take on Celestia and her offer of safety. His version of Celestia was, basically, 'Save'em whether they like it or not!'. His Celestia figured humans were too childish to choose for themselves. After all, the central point of the Bureau is that humanity has killed their own planet through capitalistic greed and excess... as well as war and... more greed. Humanity fucked up.
My Celestia is very different. She is driven by the ideal of Law, like in D&D. She is a slave to Lawfulness. So, she can't force anyone to jump to safety.
In my Bureau universe, any human is free to go down with the ship called earth. Humanity made their bed, they can die in it if they want. My Celestia is not like Brony Of Steel's take on the character at all.
In point of fact, my Celestia doesn't even want to rescue humanity at all. But, she made a promise under duress, and... she always has to keep her promises no matter what. That's part of the reason she isn't particularly upset with humans who choose to die with the dying earth. She really doesn't like being forced to save them.
My Luna... she's a little different. She's decided she kind of likes humans, and is okay with forcing them to survive to save them... but she can't go against her sister. Not openly, anyway.
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the problem was that all the way through, the narrator seemed to encourage this. So it seemed as if you agreed with Celestia. At least, that's my opinion.
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A good author must be able to step into the shoes - and the worldview - of any character, and make them live. It's like acting! People who play villains in the movies aren't actually evil, they are just acting a part. A truly good writer is expected to do exactly the same thing. Indeed, a good writer should be able to write about a character that believes the very opposite of what the author holds dear and right and good, and make that character's viewpoints and arguments sound perfectly convincing.
Writing - good writing - is being an actor, only on the page, instead of the stage.
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True, but you can accomplish that by bringing the character to life, like you said. There's no reason to have the entire world worship her philosophy like she's a bad Mary Sue.
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What. The. Hell? What are you even going on about now? If there is one thing I never, ever do, it is write Mary Sues, so... wow. I'm thinking you are getting a little trollish at this point, and I don't want to play. I found your statement arbitrarily insulting, and worse, meaningless as well.
I've been nice, but that post was out of left field and not relevant to anything we've just been discussing. If you have a way to make that post make any sense at all, I will listen, but if not, we are done.
Exactly whose philosophy is being worshiped, and exactly who is doing that worshiping, and precisely how is any of that related to a Mary Sue, a fan-fiction character inserted into a story in order to be perfectly competent, successful, beautiful and beloved, regardless of any possible story continuity?
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Uhh, what? It was an exaggeration for comedic effect. No reason to escalate it. Jeez. If I came off as trollish, sorry. If you misunderstood my post, again, sorry. But there's no need to swear.
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'Hell' is a swear word? Hell is blasphemy. Since I think religion is a mental illness, blasphemy is fine to say - it's like saying "Oh Fairy Dust!" or "Easter Bunny!". Using mythological terms is never swearing.
Other words for hell include 'Sheol', 'Abaddon', 'Tartarus' (which literally exists as a place near Equestria in the show), and 'Hades'.
To be fair, though... I got in trouble forty years ago when, at the age of twelve, I used the word 'crap'. Crap used to be an obscenity, if you can believe it. Crap.
My, how times change, huh?
As a fun aside, here is an ancient video on the most versatile word in the entire English language. It is the only word that is a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, an expletive, a descriptor, and every other part of speech at the same time. It is literally the universal word. It is the most powerful and useful word in all of English!
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Crap is still an obscenity. Also that video is not SFW, could you spoiler it please?