Day in and day out, Archer goes to school and tries her hardest. It's her calling to aim high and hit the mark. But when she starts hearing ponies saying choice words about her big brother...
Well, her aim begins to falter.
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One-shot.
(Why doesn't Archer have her own tag?)
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Edit: There's more blushing Tootsie Flute in the side-quel.
Sun Glimmer's turn in the spotlight: For Whom The Bell Does Not Toll
Another one-shot technically in the same "universe": Not the Oppressive Injection
Chapters (1)
A blue Scootaloo story? You are awesome Tundra.
Archer is awesome. We need more stories with the arcade filly. Will read now. <3
That was a nice speech on "Hate me all you want, ain't gonna stop me from doing what I want or need to do." there, I can sort of appreciate the way Flash gets so much grief for his flat human variant of Flash that bronies rave over, much how many hate on and over exaggerate on Diamond Tiara.
Speaking of Diamond Tiara, that whole scene was pretty solid. Way to effectively keep things close to the show characterizations of those two. Bonus points for giving Flute some adorable characterization here. Poor thing, I like this story a lot. Great job!
P.S. As preachy as Flash felt near the end, I felt, I really wished this was more canon. Archer and Flash work remarkably well as siblings. Aside from him living in the Crystal Empire as a Captain of the Guard. Shame. I actually liked this Flash Sentry.
Blootaloo
Okay... That was adorable
Because...she's not an actual character from the show? Just a guess...
4667370
She is. And “Archer” is her actual, official name.
4667438
You’re absolutely right, of course. I wasn’t arguing that Archer should get her own tag, just pointing out that she’s “an actual character for the show”.
Like it.
4667370
Actually, she was shone in the show.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110825191908/mlp/images/e/e0/Archer_ID_S1E12.png
Excellent work! The fact that you made me actually feel sorry for Flash Sentry, a notoriously underdeveloped character, speaks to your talent as a writer.
Excellent story, yeah I don't get the hate that Flash has, for God's sake there are characters with less screen time and personality than Flash and they are more popular than the main characters.
4667472 So did so many other ponies. But they're not known enough
4667668
Oh.
4667394
4667472 Being a background pony on the show and being a character are two entirely different things. The only reason Lyra, Bon Bon, and Derpy have tags is because the fandom has latched onto them to the point of hilarity. Some background ponies are just that: background ponies. Extras. Unimportant. Having a name doesn't change that. A character has to have something distinctive about them to earn a character tag. Archer is just a random background pony that happens to have a name.
4667711
Background characters are characters. Sure, Archer isn’t important enough to deserve a tag, I agree with you on this point. But she’s definitely a character from the show.
The word you want is "taut", not "taught."
Also: don't use so many "fancy" speech verbs ("wondered", "inquired", "noted", "clarified", etc.) all the time. For the most part, you should stick with the basics, "said", "asked", and "replied." Those are "invisible" to the reader, and they won't notice you using them. Save the fancy ones for when you really need to put across a specific tone of voice for maximum emotional impact. (Also, not all verbs can be used as speech verbs. "Dismissed" is not a speech verb, for example; you can use the adverb form, as in " "____", Flash said dismissively.", to describe the tone of voice in which he says it, but "dismissed" is the past-tense verb of "dismiss", which is a completely different action than speaking.)
And speaking of speaking... the dialogue is a bit weird, especially for a young filly. I can see how the stilted, overly-formal and flowery dialogue might be a game between Archer and her brother when they're together, but for her to say something like this:
in response to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon's taunting just seems strange. Even for an adult, that would be an oddly archaic manner of speaking; Princess Luna might say something like that, being a thousand years out of touch, but a Ponyville schoolfilly shouldn't go around talking like something from a William Shakespeare play all the time.
Nice story overall, but a bit of fine-tuning the above issues would help, IMO.
Oh hell yes. Flash Sentry!
Also, I like your quirky characterization of Archer.
You seem to shift into first person here. Otherwise it was a fine story.
4668012
I think that's the point. Pinkie Pie is breaking the fourth wall again and looking at you, the reader, being disapproving to us thinking if Flash and Archer are an item.
4668123
...Well, that makes even less sense. We readers already know they're not an item, because that's kinda already established by the story.
Regardless, perspective shifts are still not a good idea. It just looks weird and breaks the flow of the narrative.
4668166 I think of it more as a warning not to, much like how Pinkie Pie acts in regards to a Pinkie Pie Promise. It's basically another example of Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. And you never know what people might think, even if things are spelled out clearly for them. Or they disregard it completely and start making their own stories about it, but that's definitely a long-shot.
I admit, the way it's done is very distracting, and it took me a moment to realize what it was doing. It isn't the best part of the story, and could easily be left out and be fine without it, but I find it a little humorous for what it is.
4667662 I think Flash gets hate for his existence in the Animated-Movie-That-Must-Not-Be-Named and for his role as someone to whom Twilight is romantically attracted (plus some people think Twilight's reaction to Flash is OOC). It's not just because he's an underdeveloped, flat character without much screentime (though he is that).
4669468
Right... the Waifu issue
4667711
More importantly: Why do some ponies who aren't background ponies not have a tag yet?
Filthy Rich deserves a tag. The pie sisters have one for crying out loud! We even have a breezie tag! But poor Filthy Rich can't get one?
For shame!
4667820
Important thing to note, she might have actually learned to speak like that from her parents.
(I personally have a friend who speaks like that, and sometimes talking to her takes a few moments longer to translate to plain English). Plus, if she was using it to show disdain for the horseapples spewing from DT's mouth, it would be in character for the sister of a royal guard to get fancy with her words.
Not saying it was necessarily right, but it does actually happen IRL.
1 great bucking story
makes me sad that it ended
2 I thought I already killed spoon and diamonds family including her in past sins season 2 version huh whatever Ill kill them again my pleasure
3 yes a bucking tom story buck yes im so bu
comment writter swearing 2 much and the comment will continue after hes done swearing .....
yeah wait it they did it again god dam
end of comment
It's nice to see Archer -- and Sun Glimmer -- getting some love.
Very true!
4667180
I gave her a whole chapter/sub-story of her own in Special Talents, if you want to read my take on how she got her cutie mark. Of course, my interpretation of the character is a little different, and it was written before ice archery was introduced in the show...
May I ask where Archer first appeared, because it seems like everybody knows her expect me.
4670472 , Season 1 Episode 12: "Call of the Cutie".
So, in this story, Scootablue is Flash Sentry's sister?
Funny thing is, I once wrote a story where Scootaloo was Flash Sentry's sister
4667394 4667472 Mainly, much how Filthy Rich to this bucking day doesn't have one, is because she hasn't had a prominent role in the show or real impact on the fandom.
No one draws art for her. Hardly any fics with her that have become staple enough within the fandom to be spoken of any worthy note far as places like EQD and such are concerned, and because apparently we're getting a new tagging system with whatever new site update we'll someday get that supposedly improves on the system we have now once it launches.
But yeah, no prominent role in the show beyond sitting at an arcade, which inspired this beautiful pic here:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/10/6/442764__safe_blushing_button+mash_controller_archer_scootablue_artist-colon-apricolor.png
To which I wish the fandom wasn't so hung up on copying other people's headcanons and create their own, because quite truthfully, Sweetie Belle and Button Mash are not cute together and rather boringly written half the time. THIS picture right here seems way more plausible and could of done wonders for these two and, who knows, if we had anyone with the passion, could of written a truly original story that could of earned little Archer her own tag. But, nope. Let's all copy Janimation's tumblr and stuff. :ajbemused
And the premiere CMC episode where she sat in Scootaloo's chair. That same episode even has frames with the proper colored characters of Scoots and Sweetie Belle before it flashes back to Archer and whatever the other Sweetie Belle is called.
4670284 I fail to see what version of Past Sins you read, while I may not be known or seen as the most admiring of people towards Pen Stroke's works, he did a pretty good job of fixing and fleshing out a lot of plotholes and expanding on a lot of scenes.
Even Nyx was much more tolerable in the finale version (what you call Season 2) and did well to not show as much bias as the not so Diamond Tiara tolerant authors who write scenes with Diamond Tiara tend to do. Sure, while the whole tricking her to the everfree forest is still something I'll consider a bit out there for their bullying ways, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon an family are most certainly alive and healthy.
I think you need to cut back on the intolerance levels and take a page from Nyx. Learn that not everyone will get along with everyone. We all have our tastes and people we prefer to be around. For DT, she just doesn't trust the spawn of Nightmare Moon and assumes she'll likely one day turn evil again and possibly take away her Daddy again.
Bash DT all you want. Murder her all you like. People do the same with Nyx after all. But don't spread misinformation about someone's work. It might make others not want to read it or give it a bad rating even if they somehow believed your lies about Past Sins.
TL;DR: Try reading some Diamond Tiara stories like Feud Between Friends, Yukito has great stories that stick close to show canon and builds on those personalities while adding his own on top of them. Or Blueshift's Filly 5 story with that Robocop Sweetie Belle pic as a cover art, it has such along title I always forget what it's called. xD
Or, try reading all the way through Pen Stroke's Past Sins. Either or.
I HATE the flashXtwilight
I HATE the way most stories display him
I LOVE this stories depiction
4670400 Ah, I remember that one. But I mean, I'd love to read a Archer focused story good length. This was a good start, and frankly I still think Archer and Button make more sense than Janimation's alternate universe stories. Just need someone to really do for Archer for as Tundra began doing here. Sharing more headcanons/story ideas.
4667820 I was speaking quite well at the age of 3 and a half. By 5 I was able to go out to the store and buy bread at the bakery. Though the older kids in the neighborhood ended up causing me to waste said bread on some adult who lied about how he'd eat it with a bunch of bugs. My mom was friends with the store owner and once I explained what happened Tony gave me a bit of a scolding but his wife still gave me another loaf to take home.
The concept of how many quarters were in a dollar were taught to me by the store other next door who ran a small Spanish diner. He was a nice man, his family was pretty good to me. Times were different then and my mother worked full time.
By the time I was 7, I was teaching myself to read through gaming magazines and managed to go from being a grade behind on my reading, to having almost a 12 year old's reading level.
So, seeing how much of an oddball I was and how I copied tones and phrases from many of the movies my brother showed me as well, back when I was 6 since he didn't move back in with us till I was 12, I guess I can't really share the sentiment of how unbelievable you think Archer's personality turned out.
I agree with everything else, but not on how 'mature' Archer sounded. The scene at the end though was more on my mind than that cease and desist. Something anyone who grows up with a cop for a father or some such field would pick up on as kids emulate adults, hence why it's so important for us to lead by example. Which breaks my heart when I see how some parents do anything but...
But I digress. Going by what we know of the show, and how mature sounding and words that were used, even if they weren't really aware of their full meaning or getting it wrong altogether, i.e. DT in Ponyville Confidential calling her talks with CMC as 'diplomacy', something she thought praise worthy and not knowing that was actually something to be frowned upon, known as blackmail.
4670756 I am super dupper sory if did 2 u or PENSTROKE I just hate TD and SS but I get what ur saying I hope u can forgive me
please again terrably(sorry if I spelt that wrong suck at spelling) and hope we can b friends
but if u dont accept my apology I can understand fully
SINCIERLY
lunasroyalguard4life3
Pairing Archer with Flash Sentry like this is a new one to me, but I think I like that idea. Even if it could've been communicated a little better, Archer's quirky manner of speech is a nice touch too.
"Nuh-huh, I'm not supposed to talk to criminals!"
"Criminals?! The cheek! We are the best-bred ponies in Ponyville!"
"Nuh-huh. Criminals. My brother does NOT have an affair with Princess Twilight Sparkle and insinuating such a thing is a Royal Slander. Just you wait till Princess learns what you said about her! You will not see the daylight from the dungeons to the end of your lives! And now bye! It would be bad to see sister of one of Royal Guards seen hanging out with a pair of criminals!"
This is so meta, I feel like I'm directly being talked too.
4671052 Don't worry about it. I was never mad at you, I was more disappointed in your misrepresenting someone's work is all. Had you RP'd as Nyx as you attempted and not added that it was an actual scene in the story, which isn't of course since Past Sins is rated "Everyone" after all, I'd a thought nothing of it.
Sorry if my wordiness upset you. I type a mile a minute, mostly stream of conciousness spewing out. And not liking DT or Silvy is perfectly natural, they are supposed to come off as being stuck up rich girls who just don't know any better and presume they're special by rights.
I'm pretty open-minded to a lot of different kinds of people. I'm not going to dislike you over a comment on the internet, at the very least.
/hugs
Sorry for upsetting you. Was never my intention.
Here are some of the stories I mentioned and a few else I thought you might like I was too tired to find the links to link to you earlier.
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Anyhow, here are a few you might actually enjoy. If anything, you'll have something worth reading for when you get bored/curious enough to try them out:
Cubic Zirconia by Arcum42: cubic zirconia
Diamond Tiara Goes to Boot Camp by Dungeonguy88: Diamond Tiara Goes To Boot Camp
That Yukito Story I mentioned before: A Feud Between Friends
Flirt to the Finish by Mudpony: Flirt to the Finish
Here's the one I mentioned before by Blueshift: sweetie belle the future of friendship enforcement
And lastly, if you want to see Diamond Tiara get hurt and don't mind a bit of 'romance', where she does go through a few hilarious deaths, here is one by Mattricole: diamond tiara likes dating sims
My personal favorite is "How To Be A Mother" series. That was adorable and random. Diamond Tiara, whether starting off as a prank or not, finds a loophole and adopts Scootaloo. Shenanigans ensue.
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I don't dislike any character in the show. You can create magic when you add in some flavor to the mix, characters like DT add flavor to your food. Otherwise all you have is plain CMC rice and no Spoon.
The best thing about fanfiction, much how this story by Tundra shows, it lets us create new portals into things the show can't, won't, or hasn't touched on yet.
Expanding on characters that the show just doesn't have time for, i.e. background ponies and characters like DT and SS who don't get enough, though S4 did show a lot more love towards those two later on in the season, who again don't get the screen time needed to develop them as a character without accidentally redeeming their only antagonists for the CMC for example.
A GOOD story needs conflict. A conflict requires an antagonist, even Nature itself can be used as an antagonist. But stories NEED to have conflict. Diamond Tiara is as integral to the show as any mane 6. And Diamond Tiara has been shown to be an outgoing filly and apparently a Gymnast/Dancer/Cheerleader of some sort as well implying she has plenty of things to do beyond bugging the CMC.
So, why? Why pick on those you've been able to get along with just fine at the flick of a switch, only to turn that switch off to show off or make fun of others? Fanfics, until S5 at least, can show us many different answers to these questions or ignore them completely and create something very show quality or better.
I diverged into running my mouth again, sorry I'm just overly chatty.
First off, great story, will most likely read again in the future!
Second, what's up with their speech?
Pretty sure that Flash, Diamond, Spoon, and Archer were all born AFTER Nightmare Moon was banished to the moon, not before.
I really, really hope you do something larger and more ambitious with Archer. Because I adore the personality and mannerism you gave her (Though it felt weird on Flash, I admit). It was just so adorable and quaint. An anachronistic and chivalrous filly is the best thing ever.
I would officially read the hell out of something more substantial with her. (Assuming it also contained more Tootsie blushing. D'aww!
)
The story itself felt like an introduction to a character in a larger work, more than anything. I suppose because everything else in the fic seemed to mostly be a point on FlashLight shipping hammered into a story, and the premise was rather thin as a result. But as an introduction, it was quite good.
4670637
I understand now, thank you for clearing that up.
Also, that pic is adorable!
I'll echo other commentators. This is a good and unique character you've given us, and I'd like to see her in a larger piece. This was good and solid enough though, apart from the somewhat jarring:
4670569
Clearly, we need a fic where all three of them are siblings.
I love this fic
YESSSS lol so funny
This is why it's important to be a unique looking pony that can't be mistaken for anypony else.
4675137 , Oh hi there, Cyan Fluttershy with brown mane dye.
4675144 She is very relieved to find out that you don't actually get executed for being perfect.
4675168
WHY THE FUCK IS THEIR A GODDAMN CHURCH FOR YOU!
4675571 , Inside voices, please.