Fanfiction masochist. :B She/they https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect
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It's a little known fact that when Cadence ascended to alicornhood, not everypony was happy with the change. But everything happens for a reason...
This story takes into account Cadence's backstory from Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell.
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Why do you have a thumbs-down with zero views? I'm going to have to read this just to find out what you could possibly have done that's so terrible it can be detected by the sufficiently sensitive without even reading the fic!
Incredibly well done, really.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Well, this should be featuring on EqD... any second now.
That was really good, but I would have made ONE little change.
""I'll say there is! Do you know how many little fillies's heads you've put dreams of princesshood into?" She rolled her eyes and clucked her tongue. "Just when I'd weaned Gem off dinosaurs, of all things, you had to come along, and now everything's 'Princess, princess, princess', day in and day out! And it's not just me, oh..." The mare was cut off as Cadance vaporised her with a blast of fire magic and everyone was happy.
Oh dang that was good stuff.
I feel conflicted, and I have no idea why or what about. I think I liked the story, though, so good job.
For your convenience:
Ah, to see the ugly side of the so-named "Princess culture." Not the implications of making little girls want to grow up to be princesses or all that, but the inflamed fury of the parents of the so-called "special snowflakes."
Very nicely done, Present
As a fan of candyfloss-butt, I heartily approve. I'm glad to see you've finally come around to liking the Princess of Love, PP!
If I have one complaint about the work, it's that the author's note seemingly tries to stomp on the effects of a rather good story. I quite like the meta angle of it, and in general was charming and a very nice character piece to boot.
Edit: having looked at the article linked to in the author's note, I just wanted to add that I've always liked MLP for the direction they've taken the Princess thing myself. It is, I think, a losing battle to try and stomp out the Princess's appeal on little girls. Instead, far more effective is to redefine what a Princess is to future generations. Twilight being a kick-ass, super-powered Princess is a nice start.
4654296
You sir. You I can agree with.
Loathe? But this was such a beautiful story about..
Oh boy, now that's pretty damn pathetic.
*looks at Twilicorn*
Hey, sometimes the best plans are the ones where you make shit up as you go. It's downright hilarious if the following steps of said plan seem completely irrelevant to the previous ones in the process.
Taking one for the team... as much as I feel sorry for Cadance, this is just too frigging funny.
This... this resonated with me. It's something I already know, but it's sometimes nice to relearn such things. It's something I think many can end up relating to. Everybody's ended up in a flame war at some point or another, eh? At the breaking point, that oh so human part overrides any sense of civility and maturity and the personal attacks are thrown. Both parties come out of it wounded and hurting, probably vilifying each other, labelling the other to be bad people.
It's a hard predicament to get out of once in it, eh? It takes one of them who can take one for the team, to be humble, to affect any change.
Heh... if Cadance couldn't take one for the team, we might have a perfect pretty pink alicorn princess of shadows and lust rather than a dead King of Shadows and Crystal (GRAH!!!).
Overall, I highly enjoyed the story, PP, despite your author note somewhat suggesting the audience do otherwise in regards to Love Butt. Thought provoking stuff, it is.
I disagree that this is a piece of crap. I strongly enjoyed this, and its an interesting exploration
Not bad, though I have a hard time imagining that the general populace of a country ruled by a benevolent, apparently immortal princess would react this way to a second one showing up. I suppose that's the meta-ness creeping in, and I'm not sure it's a good fit.
When I first saw this story in my feed, I thought it was going to be some kind of hatchet job. I even had a jokey comment pre-written in my head: "PresentPerfect: almost as petty as Walder Frey!"
Then I actually read it and interpreted the story as you being magnanimous and trying to empathize with an object of your hatred, and I was ready to congratulate you on your maturity.
But now that I've read the author's note I'm just confused. Was I somehow right about the story the first time?
Can't really argue with that...
Now, the real reason why people hate Twilicorn is very simple: that episode was a goddamn piece of shit! It was tiresome, with a ton of uninteresting songs; the story just made no fucking sense whatsoever, by mixing up destiny and talent; and worst of all, it does not feel ethically correct that Purplesmart gets rewarded by Sunbutt for fixing a problem that THEY had caused in the first place! If anything, it proves their absolute incompetence: Celestia, for letting Starswirl's journal (historically irreplaceable and potentially very dangerous) out of a controlled environment, and Twilight, for not requesting immediate assistance with a clear emergency situation. Those two are not qualified to manage a dime store, much less a nation.
If you want to see Twilight's ascencion done right, I always recommend this.
Hint: it begins with a ritual murder.
Huh. So they remember Luna.
In any case, I really enjoyed this. It may have been something of an author tract, but it was a tract I agreed with. Don't let the vocal minority ruin your fun. Don't lash out at change just because it's different.
Also, you explained why a princess was babysitting, which I always appreciate.
Thank you for this.
4655536
Wasn't there that episode with no one in Manehattan giving a fuck about Twilight's presence? Maybe princesses are a dime a dozen there, and they still have to get a real job on the side to pay the bills.
Nice man, hit me right in the feels
Present, man, two poor story choices don't make a good one at the end of the day. Cadence wasn't supposed to be an alicorn in the first place, recall. Just a unicorn 'princess' like Blueblood.
At best, this works as a retcon patch to explain a marketing decision in-universe... but it still wouldn't fix any of the terrible writing surrounding Twilight getting her wings. The episode she becomes an alicorn is horribly rushed and poorly plotted. The entire season after does nothing to address -why- she's suddenly an alicorn, nor does anyone really respond to her differently than if she were just the librarian down the street 99.9% of the time, unless there's a joke that can be squeezed in with it.
Sorry, man, but there's only so much you can do to try and duct tape over the piss-poor quality of the overall writing arc in the last season and a half.
4653864
That's unusual
since I always thumbs-up my own stories...4653878
Thanks!
4653900
Nah, I probably won't submit this.
4653956
I think I'll be making a collection of alternate endings for this story. :V
4654004
Really. Did I really do that. I have to stop editing at 11 PM >.<
4654290
I still hate her, what are you talking about? :B
4654296
Absolutely. And the A/N is just what I always purvey: the truth. :B
4654682
I'm glad someone found this funny. :) I'm sorry it wasn't moreso.
4655359
Just because I'm trying to empathize with the object of my hatred does not mean I succeeded. I still hate her, I've just recognized that she has a usefulness about her.
4655536
I hate myself for using that line, but it's literally one of the arguments for why I never liked her. D:
4655863
See, I never got up in arms about Twilicorn because I always expected it would happen. Granted, I expected it would be in the final episode of the series, and I'll agree MMC was rushed, but that honestly has no bearing on how I feel about her, especially given how they've used her princessness in season 4. But I'm honestly not trying to apologize for the direction the show has gone in or anything. :B Like, that's literally got nothing to do with this story. Death of the Author, I suppose.
4653900
Yup. That word count is definitely going to meet the minimum requirements.
4655912
Oh, well, I didn't notice that. Thanks for pointing it out.
4655899
The thing that gets me is that MMC was rushed... for no good reason. It was essentially irrelevant most of the season. They could have left it entirely to a mid-season 4 thing, and done it with proper buildup and time to work with it, and still had Twi up for the S4 finale.
I mostly refer to it as being apologistic because from what we see in S4, Twi could have had wings all along and nopony would have really given enough of a shit to mention it.
4655923
I think that they don't is both funny and indicative of the society they live in. :B Being a princess is important, but only if you need someone to fix your stuff. Otherwise, you're just a pony. Especially if you're one of the Princesses. Cadence gets thrown a bone because she has her own empire and all.
As for MMC, just look at the fact that Shining and Cadence were shoehorned into the end of S2 and we were just asked to give two shits about them. They could have at least been mentioned in Best Night Ever-style buildup or shown up once or twice during season 2 the way seasons 3 and 4 have had season-long arcs. Rushing an episode is hardly the worst of the staff's sins.
4655899
Th'author doth protest too much, methinks.
4655946
How could anyone like that b-baka pink stallion-obsessed princess? :|
4655948
(Congrats on the non-mature feature-boxing, by the way!)
4655524 I beg to differ.
Everyone has their own opinion, but don't go around acting like yours is obviously the righty one (because it's an opinion, it's neither right nor wrong).
I found the songs quite enjoyable, as well as several scenes, and I never once thought "Oh man, this is just boring".
Why do you say that? Do you care to elaborate a little? By mixing up her friends destinies, they all pretty much lost their lives and any meaning their lives had, so they were, in a sense, failures, which is a terrible feeling, especially in a world were everypony has their place, and if you don't have your place, you have nothing. I thought it was a very interesting episode.
Why? Twilight caused a problem, yes, and she fixed it, yes, but that's not WHY she got rewarded. Twilight got 'rewarded' for proving her mastery of magic, and of the magic of friendship, by being able to fix and cast a spell not even Starswirl the Bearded could cast. And it wasn't a reward. Celestia didn't make Twilight an Alicorn, the spell did, so the 'reward' was just a bonus for proving her mastery of magic.
Celestia gave a spell book with unfinished spells no one could solve to her most faithful and trusted student, Twilight Sparkle, whom we all know is a master of magic (it's her cutie mark, after all). What good is a book no one can use except to put it on display? So Celestia sent it to Twilight, of course, in hopes Twilight could finish what nopony else could. And Twilight was probably panicking then depressed when she saw what she did to her friends. your telling me that if you just screwed up your friends lives (possibly ruining them forever), the first thing you'd do is call for help from someone in charge (let's say the parents)? Or would you go about trying to fix it first? Me, I'd do the latter, because it's just who most people are, pride and all that.
*ahem* So you're watching a show for little girls, complaining about how terrible the episode was, then saying the best way for Twilight to ascend is through a blood sacrifice? Are you serious? You're getting mad that Twilight didn't ascend the way you want, which is through blood and all that stuff, while watching a little girls show... the world never ceases to amaze me.
...backstory from the what?
4656045
Did I say she is the one who did the murders? Duh.
4655951
Whoa, you're shitting me. :O
4656054
The first official novel by GM Berrow.
4656131 Hmm... so you're telling me you want Twilight to ascend by killing other ponies in sacrifice? Listen... I love the show, and the fandom, but when you are trying to tell me that the ponies to kill and sacrifice other ponies in order to complete certain things, well... maybe you should find a different show, hmm? You're looking for blood and death in a show that won't offer it.
4655899
Such things were far from my mind in S3. They might have come to me if there has been any definite indication the series was going to end.
When I saw that first spoiler image of the Twilacorn, my first thought was, MLP is ending. I mean, why else would they throw in Twi's ascension in there? That's not exactly the sort of thing you put in the middle of a show. Why would you blow your load right now? Well, you would if the show was ending. It was only bolstered by the fact that MLP was hitting that magical 65 episode count to syndicate the show. It led me to think that MLP was cancelled by some Hasbro big wigs some time in storyboarding or something, and the DHX team had to hastily shoehorned MMC in and Luna pulling out Starswirl's journal at the end of E2S3 might have also been shoehorned in.
I really do believe that S3 was meant to be the last season at some point, with a Hasbro big wig reversing the decision shortly after by throwing EqG onto the table. So, PP, I think your thoughts were right because the show did end (kinda).
Personally, I didn't mind the pair of wings on Twi. It's not like they changed her personality or something, the most fundamental reason for liking Twi. I did however, have a bit (and by that I mean gigantic) panic attack over a massive portion of the fandom up and leaving. It's mostly the show that glues the fandom together. So yeah, I was freaking out at the end of the season, but not because of Twilacorn. It was what to come after, which was nothing. A void of ponies.
On that note, I'm going to be annoying and make fanatic encouragement like WRITE MOAR ABOUT LUV BUTT PP!!!1!! Shields are super important (hyuk).
Do more about Pretty Pink taking more for the team.
4656259
Stupid phone crashing when I try to edit. I mean a void lacking of ponies or something like that.
A void filled with pone would be a dream come true <3
4656259
I do actually have a few other story ideas about Cadence, portraying her positively even. And a couple where she's the villain, but in a cool way. :B I'll probably never write them. I never write anything.
The story was wonderful, I hate Cadence and Twilight because they're annoying but this story is just amazing!
Well done on Cadence's character.
4656213
Again: did I say she is the one who did the murders?
4657128 If you're saying Twilight doesn't do the murders, how is that any different? It still killing and death for what? I say again, if you're going to complain about a show not having death when the show was designed for little girls... Look somewhere else for a show to watch, you won't find it here.
4657432
BECAUSE THE BAD GUY'S SERVANT DID IT, YA FRIGGIN' NUMBSKULL!
The show sure doesn't have to include deaths, but it has to include action. Ya know, the latest episode, with the battle against Tirek? That's what I'm talking about. She should have earned her princesshood only after something badass like that.
4657521 Dude, the show wasn't designed for that. It has that, sure, but it's not what it was meant to hold. Honestly, it's a show for little girls, and now it's starting to include some epic fighting scenes... But it was supposed to be for little girls. So why are you complaining?
4657695
I suggest you go watch G1 MLP again, some things about it were grimdark as fuck. The Smooze was a semi-living weapon of mass destruction, much like Halo's flood.
4657695
4657735
wtf is wrong with you people
get out of here
4658206
Cool.
4658272
I'm a diehard Faustian, for better or worse. I really believe in her original vision for the show and am generally irritated when that vision is coopted. I've got other reasons to hate Cadence these days, anyway. :B
And apology accepted.
Meh.
It had a lot of potential, but in 2247 words you just can't really get much emotion out of it. It just felt way, way too rushed to actually have much of an impact. Everything was an enormous heap of tell and very little show, which for a writer of your caliber should be an incredibly basic thing to avoid. Off the top of my head, you could've had her explain her dreams of being a princess to Shining halfway through instead of presenting it linearly, after showing, perhaps, that although she's learning to cope with her fame, it still hurts when she gets such cruel comments--speaking of which, you could also have made her hecklers slightly more believable and her less... Well, I don't know. Words.
I had some other criticisms, but I think if I wrote them all, everyone reading this comment would probably just short-circuit and default to "OMG HATER ALRT!1!!!!!1". So I want to make it clear that I don't think this is a bad story. It's just surprisingly mediocre for something written by an author with a reputation for writing good stuff. Not nearly bad enough for me to downvote it, but I found it a little too sloppy to upvote. I'll just leave it alone--unless you'd like to contest what I said, in which case I'd be perfectly happy to reevaluate my opinion.
4658476
I consider Cadence a pegasus/unicorn mix, not a true alicorn. And I just don't acknowledge MMC onward unless I feel like it. ^-^
4657735 You obviously are refusing to see my point, so I'll just leave now.
4658200 Don't you tell me what to do. I'm not calling names, I'm not being rude (too much) or degrading, and we're having a debate/discussion/argument, so please, leave me alone.
4659259
Er, I think he meant "get out of here" in the slang sense of "are you kidding me?".
I think this would be benefit from being expanded to fill two chapters rather than one. It is, as you say in the author's comments, rushed. The pacing is ok for the first half, but then Cadence suddenly goes from crying and Celestia proposing a solution...to suddenly everything's ok and her problems are solved. And then immediately after that leap you have Cadence talking to Shining after Twilight's coronation, telling him how she's protected Twilight.
How? We don't know. It's never explained.
It's weak to have the climax, basically even the whole point of the story be something that you never tell us what it was. "Cadence takes one for the team." Ok...how did she take one for the team? What did she do that made Twilight's princesshood easier? We can only guess. This story presents itself as if it's bout Twilight as much as Cadence. What Cadence endured for Twilight, what Cadence was able to do for Twilight, how Cadence helped Twilight...but Twilight isn't even in the story.
This story is a decent half of a story. But the other half is missing.