Spike the Dragon is given a simple task to repay his debt. Journey to the floating city of Cloudsdale and rescue a young mare named Scootaloo, a mysterious pony imprisoned all her life, and bring her to Manehattan. Simple enough right? Forced to trust one another Spike and Scootaloo must fight to escape the city of Cloudsdale and uncover the city's dark secrets.
I do not own My Little Pony or Bioshock Infinite
My Little Pony is property of Hasbro
Bioshock Infinite is property of Irrational Games
Chapters (8)
its okay, off to a okay start,
just one thing really, your following bioshock a little too word for word, add in some new material, just don't rewrite infinite
you can still follow the same basic story, but add some new events, places, coversations, SOMTHING! change it up! be creative! its the whole point of fanfics.
i would start with luna and Celestia lutence, make some new "Lutence moments" those are always a favorite.
BTW editing is pretty good for a first fic.
4640110 also i thing luna and celestia are a strange choice for the lutence twins,..i would have picked twilight and trixe, or a male and female pinkie pie
but this isn't my fic now is it?
worth a fav.
4640125 Thank you for your advice I had planed on making new scene Lutece and this will be the only time I use what the game had done. As for celestia and luna as the Lutece I was going to have pinkie pie be them but decided to hold her back for another role in the future.
Clap....clap
I think ill fave this to track it, looks promising so far.
I found that too much from this story was lifted directly from Bioshock Infinite, you skipped over some parts too quickly, and there are several spelling and grammar mistakes.
Seems good so. Far
4647209 thank you. any suggestion on something that should be added?
4647400
Do u plan on putting handymans
4648061 yes they will appear later in the story. In the next chapter I will intoduce the Zealots of the Lady and the Fireman and and the Iceman. it just the Fireman that shoots ice.
4648330
Yay...Good chap my boy
4654681 thanks
Not blaming you...but yeah too much similarities
4670317 I know I am trying to get throught this next two chapters so I can start to write some different stuff for the story I have all ready decided to change the boring gun maker quest that was in the original game to something else involving pikie pie.
4670923 *NOD OF HEAD*
Do U Plan On Ending This Like Infinite.
How soon Spike will meet Applejack, the Daisy Fitzroy of Vox Equus and how Spike and Scootaloo will get the guns from the gunsmith?
4726366 yes and no
4726874 next chapter and i will change the gun maker quest a bit. I will say it involves pinkie pie and the Flim & Flam industry
So earth ponies are black, are the changeling Chinese, I guessing buffalo are native american but who are the Irish?
4769320 I would say the griffins.
FREAKIN' BIOSHOCK!!
Must. Read. And. Favorite.
4769320 crystal ponies?
5627215 That would be fitting, back in those days the Irtish where made fun of by how pale they where and Crystal Ponies do look pale.
Garble?
cough" cough" spike (if this is following the games storyline
Music tears?
Though not a new idea, it's still awesome and I'm still a huge fan of Bioshock...always. I shall read on!
It's great but it is a little to close to the game for comfort so hoping you really do change that, love the parts with Pinkie Pie though.
Doing great, nice fighting scene, great pace, good detail....you're doing good.
Not bad, just try to go a new route, for some reason Scootaloo always seems like she could be a smart ass to me, that's just might be me though.
Awesome, predicable save for Silver Spoon but other then that it went good.
Though it could have been changed more it's really not bad, just try to do things more original.
Woooooo! Pinkie Pie, Big Mac and Applejack....this is going to be good.
I have to agree it a little too well list feeing . Like did this then did this , then he did this . Like could have taken a bee if moment to describe the wind russlijg when he was on the outside staircase of just something others then action .
Yet again lack of description. What speed his city look like , I don't know we are never told . Don't assume people automatically know everything