Four - Chamber the Cartridge
Cactus after cactus flew past the windows of the lavish train car, emphasizing just how slow the time had crawled by. By now the stallion almost wished that he wasn't constantly washed with the cool breeze of the air conditioning, for its comfort had started to lull his mind into a dreary state. The sun-bathed desert outside bore no discerning landmarks, save for the never-ending expanse of sand. The air over the horizon shifted unevenly, distorted from the heat. While he adored the simplicity of the West, he sometimes wished that his surroundings weren't so flat and bleak.
Braeburn forced his tired gaze away from the monotonous view, and shifted it to the rifle that still laid across his lap, his hindhooves resting on the table. While he knew next to nothing regarding the inner-workings of the weapon, he still opened the lever, the bolt sliding back and revealing the inside of the receiver. Bullet Tyme had taught him the names of the major parts in the past, but he never quite knew how it all worked. What he did know was that a gun needed to be cleaned after consecutive uses, and Thumper would require such care right about now. The steel carrier bore a thin black coat of scorched gunpowder, as well as the exposed end of the firing pin. The grease that lubricated each moving part had started to congeal, and could inevitably cause a jam. The riflepony cringed at the thought of such a thing happening in a dire situation, but then forced the unpleasant idea from his mind. He repeated Daring's words in his head five times: We're not trekking miles into the jungle to search through a dangerous tomb, just in Dodge Junction. Nice and safe.
Casting a glance over the unorganized mess of notes, Braeburn watched Daring Do flip through the pages of a rather heavy-looking tome. The edges and corners of the book's cover were ragged and worn, showing what looked like centuries of age. Whatever the book was about, Daring seemed to be pouring herself into it. Unlike his, the pegasus' eyes were bright and focused, as if she had guzzled a fresh pot of coffee. Suddenly her gaze lifted from the withered pages, her eyes concerned.
"Whoa, you don't look so good Brae. Are you feeling alright?"
Braeburn furrowed his brow, his eyelids heavy. "What? Yeah Ah'm fine, why?"
"You just look like you're gonna pass out," Daring replied, closing her book and placing it on the table. "It's gonna be another hour until we get to Dodge, you can sleep if you want."
"Naw. Ah couldn't if Ah tried," the stallion dismissed politely.
Daring attempted a helpful expression. "Maybe conversation will keep you awake then. Why don't you tell me about yourself? I might as well actually know who I'm going to be working with."
"Oh you don't wanna know 'bout that. The life of a workhorse isn't exactly glamorous," he replied sheepishly.
"Well no, not the common one," Daring agreed. "But you seem...well, deeper than that, besides the whole riflepony thing I mean. You come from a pretty interesting family, and your cousin Applejack seems nice enough. So what about you? What are your hobbies? Do you have any dreams for the future? Things like that."
"Ah don't think Ah'm that interesting."
"Humor me."
Braeburn lowered his head in contemplation, unable to think past the query in his mind. Why was Daring Do so interested in him? He had made it perfectly clear that his life had been nothing more than work, so what was she trying to squeeze out of his past? Daring was the pony with the compelling life, one that he was eager to hear about. But in the end, the earth pony could think of no other excuse to thwart her question. She had every right to know more about him, considering the fact that she was going out of her way to repay him for his deed with such a generous offer.
"Well, Ah grew up in Dodge Junction before we founded Appleloosa three years ago," he started, feeling the words come to him as he spoke. "Back then we had a lot more workers. Over the years members of the Apple Family broke off to either work in more comfortable parts of Equestria or do somethin' else all together. Not everypony can handle the work Ah guess. In Dodge we harvested not only apples, but cherries too. Yup, Ah reckon we had some o' our best days there."
"So then why would you leave?" asked Daring. "If Dodge Junction was so profitable I mean."
"That's a mighty fine question," Braeburn replied, feeling himself wake with every word. "Some of the business owners in Dodge wanted to bring in more customers, ponies from outside o' town. But Dodge is a pretty far cry away from the rest of Equestria. Not many ponies wanna make such a long train ride just to buy wares. Our family felt the same way, so we decided to build a new town closer to the rest of civilization, while still bein' near our home. A year later Appleloosa was founded, and everypony gained everything they wanted from it."
When Braeburn felt that he was droning, he looked up to see Daring practically on the edge of her seat, her expression that off a foal listening to her favorite storybook tale.
"And you find that interesting?" he asked.
"Of course," she perked up. "I've always been fascinated by how towns are founded."
"Ya' know this didn't happen hundreds o' years ago right? Appleloosa ain't one o' yer ancient civilizations or nothin'."
Daring let out a sharp breath through her nose. "New or old, it's the same idea. Why is it so hard to believe that an archeologist wants to know about that?"
"Ah guess I've just never had anypony ask about it," he admitted with a shrug.
"Not even a friend?"
That last word instantly forced his eyes away from the pegasus. He looked to the floor, absentmindedly fiddling with the action of his rifle. He loathed how much it effected him, but knew that it was nopony's fault but his own. Daring seemed to immediately grasp his thoughts, her eyes falling as well. Thankfully, she didn't make him feel worse by pressing the matter any further.
"Oh, well...any hobbies?" she asked with a nervous grin. Braeburn only held up Thumper with a meek smile, instilling a horrified look from the pegasus.
"Oh my gosh," she groaned, rubbing her temples. "Really? Jeeze I'm glad I brought you along. Somepony needed to get you outta this funk of yours."
"Heh, that's one way to say it," the stallion agreed. "So what about you Daring? I've been waitin' to hear 'bout your life. Must be quite a job doin' what you do."
"I assure you, it's nothing like the books," Daring said flatly, as if to dismiss the question. However, Braeburn's curiosity positively begged to be satisfied.
"That's why it's so excitin', it's real! Come on now, tell me-" Braeburn was cut off as the train car lurched forward, slowing down as the brakes started to squeal.
Braeburn swore that he saw a look of relief spread across her face as Daring leaped from her couch, looking out his window. The stallion cocked an eyebrow to see a line of buildings on the horizon, growing steadily closer. Had they really been on the train for that long? Perhaps the initial uncomfortable silence had lasted longer than he thought.
"Wow, looks like we were closer than I thought! Awesome!" she exclaimed. With a flash, Daring flew back over the table, rummaging through her saddlebags. Chuckling silently to himself, Braeburn replaced Thumper in its scabbard. He stood up and swung the weapon over his shoulder, adjusting the strap across his chest.
A small part of him cursed their arrival to the town. While he was elated to finally begin their quest to find Cunning the Colt's treasure, he wished that they had enough time for the pegasus to describe her work, or even her life. After finding out that his favorite storybook hero was a real pony, he desperately longed to know what the real Daring Do was like. So far he had grasped the obvious: her personality. All in all Daring Do seemed almost parallel to her novel counterpart, but her traits had showed to be more realistic, more vivid. The archeologist was intelligent, calculative and analytical. But she was also somewhat outspoken, and even showed signs of recklessness. She was driven by a seemingly endless supply of tenacity, her heart completely devoted to her work. It was an attribute that Braeburn knew all too well, and he could see it in her bright rose eyes.
However, Daring Do seemed to be reluctant to share her life with the riflepony. When asked about it, her attitude had immediately shifted to something more defensive, more than likely to cease the thought outright. Braeburn thought back to Artemis' words of warning. Was that what she was so afraid of? He hadn't asked about her personal life, that wasn't any of his business. Perhaps that was what the question sounded like, and Braeburn simply hadn't realized it.
After he successfully strapped his saddlebags to his back, Braeburn turned around to find Daring all ready to go. He had expected to see her donning the black traveling cloak, but what he found was a sight to behold. The sandstone-colored pegasus wore an olive-green pocketed shirt, its long sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Atop her monochromatic mane was a white pith hat, its middle wrapped several times with a dark green band. The riflepony stifled a chuckle. She looked exactly like the protagonist on the cover of the books, and Braeburn found it to be absolutely hilarious. Daring Do shifted awkwardly, a slight shade of red tinting her cheeks.
"What? This is what I wear when I'm on an expedition!" she said as Braeburn snickered behind a forehoof.
"O' c-course it is," he said before pursing his lips, trying desperately to keep himself together.
"The illustrator used my likeness, remember?" Daring retorted. Braeburn nodded, clamping his eyes shut.
After a few minutes the old buildings came into view through the windows on the right. As the old locomotive slowed down to a crawl, Braeburn was able to make out the distinctions of Dodge Junction. Not one board had been replaced since the town was constructed. Every store and home bore hundreds of years of wear, keeping to its traditions. Every pony that walked the streets wore some sort of Stetson or another form of cowpony hat, along with varying colors of vests and dusters. Braeburn walked over to the windows to find the ancient wooden platform of the train station, the squeal of the brakes accompanied by the wail of a whistle. The two of them braced their hooves when the locomotive halted abruptly.
When the door slid open, Daring bolted through the air over the stallion's head. "Finally! Let's go Brae!"
"Will ya' hold on a minute? Not everypony's got wings ya' know!" Braeburn called after her, although to no avail. The riflepony ran after her, his bags clinking with supplies and ammunition.
Daring led him off the platform of the train station and down the dirt road that led to the small town square, filled with the usual midday hoof-traffic of earth ponies. A few of them turned their heads at the sight of the pegasus, a type of pony seldom seen out West. Foals led by their mothers gawked with awe-stricken gazes as Daring landed by the large stone well in the middle of the square. Braeburn strode to her side, starting to feel the excitement she was emanating. The mare withdrew her map of the town, unraveling it in her hooves.
"Okay, first thing's first," she started with a grin. "We need to recap the clues I've already found, and where I've found them."
Daring gestured for Braeburn to look at the map, pointing to the drawing of the jail. "The first one was under the floorboard in his cell, leading to the one in the crawlspace of this home. All it said was 'right outside.' If we figure out what that meant then we take a huge step towards Cunning's legacy."
"But isn't that the clue that stumped ya'?"
"Yes, but I have a feeling that two minds will assist us in figuring it-" Daring replied before she was cut off by a sharp, resounding bang.
Everypony in the area gasped in fright, immediately dropping to the ground with their forelegs over their hats. Braeburn whipped his head in all directions, searching for the source of the all-too-familiar sound: gunfire. His legs shook with apprehension, his eyes wide. A sudden wave of trepidation crashed upon his mind. He tried to tell himself that it might have been somepony's rifle misfiring, until a second shot echoed across the town.
"Get down!"
Daring dragged him to the dirt in a crouch, throwing a protective wing over his head. Everypony fled indoors, peaking their curious eyes through the windows. At the sound of the third shot, Braeburn and Daring Do poked their heads out from behind the well, focusing their gaze down the main road.
From around a corner to the left galloped a tall, dark-purple earth stallion, a long-barreled rifle between his teeth. He wore his black mane tied back in a short tail, streaked with a shade of midnight-blue, similarly colored to his tail. The earth pony's cutie mark was of a black iron sight, one typically found at the end of a shotgun. He set his dull orange eyes on a stack of crates outside of the local barbershop. He slid behind the boxes, aiming his weapon over the top of the stack and racking the bolt on the side of the receiver in the same motion.
Two more stallions came into view from the left, taking cover from the shots. Braeburn immediately recognized the two. The first was Deputy Conners, a small-framed, white earth pony with a matching hat and vest. The brim of his Stetson hung low, veiling his shaved head. He had a short tail of pale blonde hair, tucked to his side in quivering fear. Connors was a full year older than Braeburn, and still he bore no cutie mark. He was a stallion not quite fit for his job, nor any other sort of occupation.
The second stallion was Sheriff Goldstar McCain, the brave-heart brother to Appleloosa's Sheriff Silverstar. Contrary to his gray sibling, his coat was a bright gold, his lustrous mane and tail two shades of brown. Unlike the citizens of Dodge Junction, he didn't wear any sort of hat, but donned a long black trench coat with a brass star pinned to the chest. McCain's flank was marked with a yellow sheriff's badge, signifying his natural talent for upholding the law. His gloss-black lever-action rifle had a short barrel and a large loop around the trigger. The dark receiver was emblazoned with intricate golden scrollwork, making the gun look like it belonged in a museum.
The sheriff and his deputy returned the criminal's shots, the white stallion's rounds striking nowhere near his mark. Goldstar had placed three consecutive bullets directly into the purple stallion's cover, the wood shattering upon impact. The criminal racked the action on his rifle, firing a slew of shots right next to Goldstar's head. It only took a few seconds for Braeburn to realize something terrifying: they were losing. The purple stallion was out-firing the both of them with incredible ease, his grin malevolent.
Braeburn felt Daring pull him back behind their cover, her eyes wide and fearful. "Braeburn, help them!"
"What?! Ah can't shoot another pony!" he protested.
"Have you not recognized who that stallion is?!" she demanded, emphasizing her words with her hooves. "That's the one that almost killed me! That's the pony you saved me from! Now save them!"
Braeburn's eyes lit up with horrifying realization. He peaked his head around the old well again. She was right. While he never saw the stallion's face behind the mask he wore, Braeburn did see his coat color along with his piercing orange eyes. How had he escaped his imprisonment? Suddenly he felt Thumper being ripped from the scabbard on his back, turning around to find the dark-yellow pegasus holding it in front of him. Her magenta eyes were desperate, pleading even. He wanted nothing more than to turn tail and run far away from the scene, but something kept him rooted to the spot. A want, no, a need to defend what was right, and to correct what was wrong. This stallion was only moments away from taking two lives, and he had the means to stop him.
Braeburn shoved a trembling hoof into his saddlebags, taking out a box of ammunition before shoving five of the shells into Thumper's cartridge gate. The riflepony whipped the old Marechester around his hoof, racking the action in the same graceful motion. The front stock fell atop the stone well, the sights lining up with the purple stallion's temple. Braeburn trembled, unable to hold the weapon steady. He couldn't do it. The peaceful earth pony couldn't bring himself to end the life of another being. His breath quivered as he desperately tried to aim the rifle, but found it impossible. They were too far away for anything but a dead-on shot. He couldn't simply aim in his target's general direction and hope for the best.
But then he felt something on his shoulder. Braeburn cast a hesitant glance to his right, finding a hoof lightly pressed to his coat. Even through the chaos of the scene, Daring Do was still able to give him a reassuring look. The touch brought a calming sense of warmth to his fearful mind, and suddenly his quivering body ceased.
With a new-found sense of clarity, Braeburn returned his gaze through the iron sights. He held the rifle steady, searching for a way to stop the criminal without killing him. But when he found it, the riflepony watched in horror as the purple stallion lined up a shot with Sheriff Goldstar's exposed head. The world seemed to stop with an abrupt halt as Braeburn cried out incoherently, aligning the crosshairs with his mark.
And then he pulled the trigger.
Thumper broke the moment-long silence with an enormous, ear-shattering bang. The rusted chain suspending the barbershop's sign split in twine, erupting in a flash of sparks. The enormous length of wood fell from ten feet in the air, its broad corner crashing upon the purple earth pony's head with a sickening crack. The criminal's eyes instantly closed as he fell to the dirt, his bolt-action rifle sliding from his hooves.
"YES!" he heard Daring Do cry out.
Braeburn let out an immense groan of relief as his head fell to the stone well, his forelegs wrapped around his neck. He felt the pegasus grasp a hold of his shoulders, shaking him violently. "You did it Brae! Oh my gosh that was awesome!"
The riflepony could only hold his forehead to the cold stone, a fleeting grin spread across his face. Daring pulled him upright, her expression that of pure elation as she threw her forelegs around him in a brief hug. As she let go, the siren sound of cheering ponies erupted from the streets. The citizens of Dodge Junction ran out from the safety of their homes, approaching the two with thankful cries. Amongst the clamor, Braeburn looked to Daring Do. He wouldn't have been able to stop the pony without her reassuring presence, and he was eternally grateful. It was a deed not done by business partners, but by friends.
"Thank you," he said quietly.
"Hey now, I didn't do anything," she laughed, picking him up to his hooves. Braeburn smiled sheepishly at the small crowd surrounding them, forced into a couple of eager hoofshakes.
"That was amazin' stranger!"
"What a riflepony!"
"Are you with the Royal Guard or somethin'?"
Braeburn was overwhelmed by the enormous wave of praise, unaware of how to react. Thankfully, the prominent voice of Sheriff Goldstar McCain broke through the rest:
"Well Ah'll be! Braeburn!" he yelled over the crowd. The riflepony turned back to the other end of the street. The sheriff trotted through the cluster of ponies, his rifle slung around his back. In the background Deputy Conners was clumsily wrapping the unconscious stallion's hooves in a pair of metal cuffs. "Who'da thought that you'd be the one ta' take Sure Shot out. Conners and Ah can't thank ya' enough fer what ya' did."
"Heh, Ah was just doin' what Ah had to sir," Braeburn chuckled.
"Well either way, it's a good thing ya' came," McCain replied before casting his glance around the crowd. "Okay, all ya'll clear out and get back ta' yer business. Give the boy some air."
Everypony in the square complied, all giving Braeburn their final words of thanks before departing. The riflepony exhaled, the tension loosening in his neck and shoulders. Daring covertly nudged his side, gesturing for him to wrap the conversation up with an apologetic expression. He nodded discreetly, understanding.
"So what're ya' doin' back home Braeburn?" the sheriff asked. "And who's yer friend here?"
"Sorry sheriff, Ah don't mean to be rude or nothin', but we've actually got a lot o' work to do."
Goldstar almost looked taken aback. "Oh. Well Ah imagine yer here fer the farm's sake, so Ah'll leave ya' be. But make sure ta' stop by the office and say hello before ya' head home alright?"
"Will do sir," he replied. With a wave, Goldstar trotted off back toward his deputy, whom was still struggling with the cuffs. Braeburn took the opportunity to pick his rifle off the rim of the well, racking the action to eject the empty shell. He replaced the next round through he cartridge gate, so when he needed to use it again, all he needed to do was move the lever to load the weapon.
"Why did you thank me Brae?" asked Daring in a soft voice.
The riflepony gave her a small smile, his ears folding back. "'Cause if you weren't there fer me, Ah would've run off in the other direction as fast as Ah could. You gave me the courage to help them."
"I think you had it all along," she smiled sincerely, giving him a playful hit to the shoulder. "You just needed somepony to show you that."
"That's still a mighty fine reason to thank you."
"Hey, what're friends for?"
With that, she turned around the well and headed down the dirt road, casting him a small grin. Braeburn's spirits soared at her words, feeling his mood lift dramatically. Suddenly his life didn't seem so monotonous anymore. He silently followed Daring Do, the first pony he could call a friend in far too long of a time.
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Well done! It did seem a little odd that just as Daring and Breaburn arrived the bandit showed up.
But then again maybe he was on the train or waiting for it.
Bang.
So...this is shaping up to be the highest quality fic I've ever seen in like...ever. My own work does not compare. You have, in the space of four chapters, completely set up the rest of the story in a masterful way. Braeburn's a total badass, when he wants to be.
622169
........Wow, that actually means a lot coming from such a popular author. Not that it doesn't mean anything coming from anybody else, but you guys get the idea.
Thanks again guy!
Yay action! Love action!
622210
Check your email inbox sometime soon and you'll be quite happy. Good stuff here.
Oh, one thing I may not have mentioned at any other time where I might have discussed this fic with you, there are times where the actions are too human, such as Braeburn looking at the Marechester in his lap. That doesn't seem at all comfortable for a pony, unless Braeburn is taking lessons in sitting from Lyra...
659207 Huh. Looks like I forgot the second part of that sentence. Took care of it though.
And huhwhhaaa? Well whatever it is, I look forward to it guy! Glad you like the story.
659619
Take a look at my initials, you may recognize them. As far as I know, the email hasn't been sent out just yet.
659656 Oh. OHHHHHH Awesome! Definitely appreciate it!
We need more of this awesome fic
Sincerely the Doctor
A Billy the Kid parody? Soooo reading this.
oh, is this a western I see? Yes! IT IS! With guns... AWESOME!
Edit after read: I think I see something going on between those two. Art's warning might just need to be enforced lol. This story is a great story that portrays everything perfectly that allot of stories don't seem to get. Favorited simply because this is awesome.
Hello friend! Great story you have here. Instantly drew my attention once it popped up on EQD. Just wanted to say that I was so motivated that I wrote you a review!
You can find it here: http://supremestfanfictionreviews.blogspot.com/2012/05/review-treasure-in-west.html
I hope it's to your liking, but if you have any questions, feel free to contact me.
Have a wonderful day!
662383 Well I'll be. Here's something I wasn't expecting, but I am also very grateful for it. Yes, it is very much to my liking, considering the fact that you took the time to make it in the first place.
It was incredibly fair, enlightening, and brought a few important things to my attention. To be honest, I've never heard of this website before (I don't get out much on internet terms), but I'm glad you brought it to my attention. It gives me something to add to the bookmarks on my browser.
Anyway thanks again!
662543 It's okay, we're new, and to be perfectly honest, the reason the review ended up in a comment as opposed to a private note is because the word has to get out SOMEHOW.
I am very glad you aren't offended or anything, because I've been having this string of bad reactions to even my good reviews. You have made my evening by enjoying it, so thank you for that! I hope the site can be worth your continued attention.
662579 A writer's best friend is constructive criticism. So even if it was nothing BUT that, I would still thank you. I don't know why people can't react positively when offered something to build off of. Kids these days, I dunno
Gonna put the link up on my blog to help advertising. Not that it will help much, but it's something I guess. (For your site, not me. lol)
I do like your characterization of Daring Do. She's like the Indiana Jones who doesn't get kidnapped by soviets or Nazis every three seconds.
Wow. This is certainly a new way of seeing the Equestrian west. And here I was unsure of the fact that Braeburn had a gun. It certainly seems to suit him!
I was going to make a tongue-in-cheek comment about how convenient it was that they arrived in the middle of a situation that required Braeburn's newly-discovered skills to solve, but you know how it is: when you buy a hammer, everything looks like a nail for a while.
Some parts touch briefly on the overplayed trope line, but I think you're doing enough to keep the formula pretty fresh. Keep the western, don't go full adventure on it; this story needs more creeping from crate to crate while bullets wizz past. Also, someone had better fall off a roof or over a railing during a gunfight, dammit. :P
663892
In addition to the roof and railing bit, somepony better get thrown through a window during a Saloon fight. Or at least get dragged down the bar counter-top. lol Think of it something like this: Saloon Fight from the western "War Wagon"
I've really enjoyed reading this story, it's such a fun little story, I can't wait to see where you take it! Faved.
Very well done, I will be waiting for "moar."
663785 Whoops! You're very right, I was going for the word "pungent." I guess even with three prereaders (myself included), things can fall through the cracks sometimes. I'll fix that tonight, along with uploading the new chapter
I call shenanigans. Braeburn adjusted to the idea of killing someone way too easily.
666136 okay I KNOW I fixed those mistakes earlier. Looks like I have an email to write...
666323 If you read closely, it's clear that it was never his intention to kill the bandit. In fact, it is said that he "searches for a way to stop the criminal without killing him," which he does.
666413 I saw that, and that (plus basic psychology against harming another) leads me to think that he would have a VERY hard time accepting what he'd just done. It takes years of training to acclimate to that idea.
Unless you have a post-fight breakdown planned for later, in which case I'll hold off judgement.
666449 if he'd actually killed him, then I could see your views to be fully understandable. It doesn't take a military officer to stop a criminal on psychological terms. If you don't agree then you dont agree, no worries.
666502 Wait, what? *rereads* Oh, he didn't kill him--I apologize, I misread that part. Man, I feel silly now.
666656 that's okay buddy
664387 be that as it may, they better not fucking
Touch the pony on the piano. The one rule of saloon fights.
Wait, does that mean that the Guard also have a stash of rifles?
Braeburn is like Lucky Luke
He is such a good shot he can just basically shoot the gun off from the outlaws hand if he wanted to
DANGiT! I NEED OT GO TO BED!
I don't wanna!
*Argues with self for a few seconds*
Good night, everyone...
Okay. Now it's getting exciting.
788739 Tell your parents you're going to sleep, then read some more! Problem Solved!
Looking good so far, but I'm a little turned off by Braeburn automatically being a super amazing marksman. I hope there's a reason for that, because normally that takes YEARS of training otherwise.
Sheriff McCain and Deputy Connors, thought you could slip those by me, didn't you