This is an interesting concept. While I like how it's going and how you wrote Discord's dialog, I feel he'd be doing more chaos. It's almost like he's scared of how crazy things are. And I don't think the way Twilight acted would be enough to scare the former god of chaos, even if he's just a pegasus now.

Otherwise, great job. I'll be watching this.

hmm, odd idea but im interested in where this is going

I have.. NO idea what is going on, which is quite strange... but hey, it was well written, and by the end, it did catch my interest. I do wonder where it is going.

>>434373434373

He has no powers so he actually can't.

Anyway, this is both great and highly interesting, I'm tracking it.

>>434759434759

Chaos doesn't need powers. You can just say something or do something and it can cause a lot of chaos. The powers just make it easier to to mach larger amounts of chaos.

>>434772434772

fair enough, but don't try and pressure the author, I like his interpretation of discord and I don't want him changing it due to one guy's nitpicking.

>>434373434373

I think part of what scares Discord is that the world doesn't appear to work as he was accustomed to. Yes, he liked chaos but his chaos was always within his control. This chaos is not within his control.

>>Author

Just wanted you to know that I like the story thus far. I'm just a little confused about the voice you are writing with. There are interjections where the narrator's voice and opinions are shared, much like in a children's novel. Now I'm not sure if that is the voice you wish to communicate or not but it's not necessarily bad. Just sentences like So when undergoing the whole Jekyll-Hyde process (which did beg the question of which personality was the default, but really he didn’t want to know), she had lost some memory. Oh, swell. you are interjecting your voice which breaks some level of reader involvement in the story.

If you have had this reviewed, you may want to get a second set of eyes over this. If it has not been reviewed and edited, then you might want to look at getting someone to help you edit and get a more polished look.

Other than those few issues, I enjoy your premise and hope you continue writing.

Kinda of what was said above. Not only that, but Discord would be the sort who finds extreme chaos not of his own doing at least to be odd and not fun. After all, where's the point in messing things up if they aren't in harmony to begin with.

First of all, oh dear Celestia. I did NOT expect so many comments. Usually after I post something, it goes unnoticed and I forget about it until one obscure person comments, I remember it for all of a week, and then I forget all over this. Thank y'all for making me extremely giddy.

I think all of the last chapter's issues can be blamed to Twilight. While I have ideas for everypony, Twilight's was...Honestly, the least interesting. I could think of nothing. In hindsight, this means she should be, I dunno, last, but what do I know about pacing?

Anyway, Rainbow Dash, everyone. Hopefully she can make this twenty percent cooler.

Now there's the Chaos.

I wonder what Pinkie is doing, also, great story!

~Marshmallow Swirl

I like what he'd doing here, it really in character.

I tend to try not to give out the cliche "OMG it was awesome" speech, but this is brilliant.

Image: http://www.sadanduseless.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/681.jpg

It's one of these stories you wish was longer because you enjoy every second of it, the pacing is perfect and it doesn't have any of that annoying filler used purely to make it longer, or any unneeded dialog scenes. The proper characterization of Discord helps too.

I have a bad feeling about talk of Celestia banishing ponies left and right...

So Twilight's a Jekyll/Hyde Lawyer doomed to do the same case over and over again on the threat of banishment, and Dash's a workaholic with too much to do perfectly in too little time...

...I'm guessing Pinkie Pie's gonna be the dullest living being in the world.

Given how Rainbow and Twi are, I'm slightly worried about Pinkie now. Her 4th wall powers could be disastrous if they're used for anything but rule of funny.

Given how Rainbow and Twi are, I'm slightly worried about Pinkie now. Her 4th wall powers could be disastrous if they're used for anything but rule of funny.

Actually, now that I think about it, I dread the meeting with Fluttershy.

Moar, that is all.

http://ui16.gamespot.com/591/moar_2.jpg

Why do I get the feeling that Rarity's a mafia Doña (feminine form of Don)?

Brilliant

Haha, I know this. Lizzie, you rascal. You've earned yourself a moustache.

I have a lot more to learn to get no dislikes.