What's it like to have wings? To live boundlessly? To have gone places none of your friends have been before? Dash reflects on her life.
Constructive criticism always appreciated. Be as harsh as necessary: I won't be insulted. Just don't be a jerk.
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Well done
That was absolutely beautiful. Bravo.
495169
Thank you, but you're too kind
*sniff* Very beautiful piece of literature, this should be much more popular. Great work.
515753
Wow, I didn't actually think you'd read this. Actually, I didn't expect this to get much attention. Would you normally click on something with just a "Sad" tag and only 1 character, not to mention barely over a thousand words? And this isn't really even a story, more of an essay if you asked me. But anyways, thanks for the comment. By the way, I like the small change you made to your own story ;)
Just like Ghost said this should be far more popular.
I really dont see where the sad part is.
Don't be sad because it's over, Smile because it happened. Remind you of a certain pony?
519286
Okay Dr. Seuss, I get it.
Hmm... maybe I can add Slice of Life. 
I guess that works. Thanks.
But seriously, I had to tag it as something, right?
This was really touching, and the music link was a great bonus! Awesome job, makes me really wish I had wings!
525822
Thanks, that's really what I was going for. When I tell my friends that I wish I could fly, they think I'm crazy. Of course, it's all symbolism and such, but most people just don't understand where I'm coming from.
525894 I feel the exact same way! That's why I created my OC, Fireflash, as a pegasus, and Rainbow's BFF. btw really nice job!
The title reminds me of 'Ode to Joy' (from Symphony No.9) by the famous L.Beethoven.
The music is very peacful and perfect to hear with the story!
I've got a music that isn't as good as yours ,but still:
[youtube=VyChtbtez7g]
It isn't that good while reading ,but it helps the mood after reading.
525894
You can try to find out how many times I have looked at the bright blue sky and sighed.
612559
You won't believe how many notifications you just gave me
Don't get me wrong though, I'm extremely grateful.
Wow, nice beautiful music, with an extremely appropriate title.
Speaking of titles... I wasn't really thinking about Ode to Joy while naming this, but I did notice a few days later, and I guess it works!
612843
Wait I'll guess ... 1 in your userpage (blog) ,a comment who was deleted and that one + a reply = 4?
And if I say you'll get this notification + a reply and a notification for someone watching you? (3 not.)
615040
Close. It was 5 and 3. You forgot about the story favorite.
615624
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png WHY? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Rainbow_Dash.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Soarin_dayum.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_dayum.png
WOW!!! This was beautiful!!! I read this while listening to Dash's Empty Sky. It was amazing!
A gorgeous piece of work, especially with the music in the background. How did I not learn who you were earlier?
953929
A better question is: how did you find this?
A very well written story, I love Dash's thoughts. It almost reminds me of my own flying dreams. But anyhow, oddly speaking in my own way, it feels you embodied the freedom of flying.
1000726
This is exactly what I was hoping to accomplish. Hearing these words, for me, is the greatest honor.
This was so awesome to read while listening Dash's Empty Sky, bravo!
I read this once, without the music, and I felt like crying.
Makes me wonder what it would be like to be her.
Read it again with Dash's Empty sky in the background, and I did cry.
Very simple premise, but I found it to be very powerful and emotional...
Kudos to you.
1169313
Yep, the song is that incredible. It just inspires writing. It's like flying alone, into a new world.
This was good, really good. But you asked for criticism, so here it is.
You focus too much on STATING what Dash is thinking. Avoid that. It tends to make us read instead of feel. Provided, yes, sometimes it's hard to avoid, it is not impossible. Try and focus on how she dives through a cloud and breaths in the watery vapor, eliciting an electrical flush through her body. Describe how the change of atmosphere in her wings breaths life into her form. And of course, use metaphors.
Example:
She pulls her wings close to her body, letting gravity reclaim her for a moment. It's a dangerous move, one even the Wonder Bolts recommend against, but she doesn't care. It remind her, if only for this moment that no matter how hard she flies, how high she goes, the world below will always try and reclaim her.
With a grunt from her lips, her wings thrust outwards, catching the passing air with their size. The air passed between her feathers at speeds she relished to hold. Needles prickled up her back as the strain of fighting gravity filled her form. But still she fought, beating her wings against the call of the ground. Strength floods her muscles as bliss fills her mind.
This was life.
This was beyond the any feeling she could enjoy in the company of others. It was something she couldn't describe, couldn't share. It was a touch of heaven in a life held against the ground. It was the sight of the impossible in a world that filled with probabilities. But more than anything else, it was a reminder.
The ground was filled with dreams, ambitions, goals, and a future.
The sky was empty. The sky was hers.
Take it or leave it. I liked the story, really I did. It just seemed... lacking.
1277504
Thank you very much for the criticism! Most people on this site are way too nice, and this still isn't harsh enough but I'm very grateful!
This is totally awesome, it's great I hate to give criticism or anything but you said "pointing fingers" ( if you meant it fingers as if ur talking to us then ignore this) but wouldn't it be better and make more sense if you put "pointing hooves"? Other than that and the fact that it's so short, all I can say is well done
Like The Wizard of Words already said, this sweet fiction could do with some more plot.
Even if you just describe how Dash flies, her movements, the things she sees from her high spot in the air, it will give a lot more flesh to the story and make the read more enjoyable. I'm not saying that it is not good already, but that would make it better. Just thoughts can be a little hard to chew, because if you don't leave room for breathers, the reader can easily get lost in your train of thought.
I love the philosophical nature of this story, and the music sets the mood for the whole work. It was a nice short fanfiction.
That being said, sometimes I feel you give too much thoughts of RD, when she should be flying.
I also love your profile's reference to Josh Newman.
6328160
I'm always surprised that people can still find this. I'm not really sure what to say except thanks for reading and thanks for the comment.
This might disappoint you, but my profile is actually a reference to Robert Oppenheimer, father of the atom bomb, who quoted the line from the Bhagavad Gita.
"Her soul is tied in her wings more so than any other Pegasus." Shed an actual tear from that line while listening to the song lol