Twilight invites her friends over to solve a whodunit puzzle. But when a real mystery rears its head, can Twilight and Co. connect the clues to catch the calamitous culprit?
Chapters (6)
- Member Since 7th May, 2012
- offline last seen Sep 20th, 2015
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I'm a guy who writes about ponies. Not much else to say at the moment.Also, all my stuff is featured on Equestria Daily, so you know it's legit!
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Oh, this is getting good! Continue!
Spoiler Speculation ---->>bet you it was derpy Spoiler ends
Oh heck yeah, excellent start. This is going to be a lot of fun.
Followed!
Found you on EQD! I'll be watching this :)
And yet I can still take this mostly seriously! There are a few minor instances in this chapter where your choice of words perfectly reflects the genre.
It looks to me like withholding the names of each cosplay serves a dual purpose: giving mystery buffs something cool while freeing yourself of the need to come up with pony puns for each one. Though I would've had Spike cosplay as Conan Edigawa and Rainbow Dash as Batman.
And speaking of the former, it's awesome that you're keeping him involved, but I'm also hoping he'll contribute more than just following everyone around with his pad. If you have the drive to finish this story, it will be a very good read!
4595111 I keep forgetting what color that is. Care to remind me?
Whelp, Derpy's out... for now. But I suspect mister Waddle is hiding something. Oh, and I believe Rainbow was right about asking the hr the package was dropped, it could mean some big lead.
Well that was rather suspicious Mr. Waddle. If that's even your real name?!?
On a side note, I'm getting the feeling that this is in continuity with Fraternal Brotherhood.
4692268 The clergy keep all sorts of dark secrets, few of them their own...
Waddle is suspect, but could be a red herring, with how obviously he was pointed out. Applejack is right that Rainbow's question isn't outright incriminating, but certainly worth asking. The plot thickens!
Love the mysteries that have a little action in them.
statoose is probably right about the red herring. I'd like to cast suspicion on Doctor Whoof because he has such a good reason to be present - and such a close connection to their previous suspect - that we'd never suspect him...but then I'd be doing so without any clues.
Applejack: Columbo
Fluttershy: Nancy Drew
Pinkie: ?
Rainbow: ?
Rarity: Bozo the Clown
Spike: Poirot
Twilight: Father Brown
4719208 Well, you got two of them right...
4719365 In my defense, I am totally unfamiliar with these characters.
I assume the wing clipping that Boxy is talking about is the temporary sort that grows back? Cause there's a bit of fridge horror to that otherwise...
New wild theory, the mayor arranged the attack herself for the sympathy angle for the next election.
But more seriously, I bet that Doctor Whoof is the high school sweetheart, which suggests that Derpy's visit might not be as innocent as she claimed if there is some sort of triangle going on between her, Whoof, and the mayor.
So far,the story is amazing. Not too frafetched with just the right amount of humour. I'd we looking forward to next chapters!
Got me hooked so far!
Loving the Flutterceps.
Odd how quickly everypony in the 'ville is getting into the noir spirit, but, hey, comedy.
I'm loving this!
It's pretty rough having to fulfil the calorie requirements of an alicorn body you never expected to have.
Clearly the moral from this chapter is to never mess with Pinkie and Dash.
The additional moral might be that Flutterceps is the best ship ever.
Tossing Flitter, Cloudchaser, and the flower sisters in as supporting characters was a fun choice; I adore those ponies. Mostly, I enjoyed how hilarious Pinkie Pie was in the bathroom and reading the flower sisters deliver their dialogue in alphabetical order (or could have if Applejack hadn't been sticking her big dumb 'A' in there the whole time).
The case is steering into some fairly deep personal territory now, which I'm pretty sure is part of the formula for an intense climax! It'll probably involve a confrontation with Doctor Whooves, whom I'm betting is Mayor Mare's old sweetheart. He was probably gloomy because he failed to help the Mayor - still enamored with him - straighten out her love life. Derpy is starting to look like the culprit again. At least that's my theory until we find out what's up with Filthy Rich.
I hope the spoiler html doesn't make me look like I'm giving my ideas too much credit....
"Ya might wanna' be careful there, Bulkie," said Applejack. "I hear that stuff does funny things to yer wings."
Thank you, 'cousin' Applejack.
Are there bull sharks in this universe? I couldn't stop reading BB's lines in Brucie's voice.
"In other words"
Missing the "d" in "crowd".
5065510 D'oh!
Okay, now it's fixed.
I think I know who did it... but this fic has been a hoot! Keep it up!
Almost done already?
Aaand now I can't unsee how much Filthy Rich and Doctor Whoof look alike. Seriously, they could be brothers. Still not following Fluttershy's train of thought, but whatever, it'll come soon enough.
The amount of red herrings... they could keep one of Fluttershy's pelican friends fed for a month!
So, Filthy has donated to just about every cause in town? I dunno, he could just be really into charity work.
Or alternatively, really into getting tax breaks.
Well, that happened.
At least I knew most of the costumes. (I thought Pinkie was especially well cast.)
It should be "mes amies," since Spike is referring to his friends, all of which are female, indicating the feminine plural. French is complicated.
Pinkie and Rainbow are the best interrogators ever.
*sigh*
Derpy... Really? I expected better from you, miss Doo...
I'm also not sure how Twilight gets stuck with footing the bill for a fight Carrot Top started; were I Celestia I might have a quiet word... or perhaps send Luna to have one, which would not even vaguely quiet.
I think, though, the conclusion in all left me a bit cold - particularly the Mayor's dismissive attitude towards Twilight. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be funny, but if it was, I didn't find it so at all. For FRAG'S SAKE, she's saved the country and the world several times over and she's a Princess - I think she DAMN WELL has authority to spend her precious time investigating an attack on a public figure. Especially when there's NO FRACKING POLICE FORCE. That's... I cannot even begin to FATHOM how utterly stupid that is. If it had been somepony else who been attacked, what would she have done? Just shrug as say it's not her problem and also stop anypony else from investigating either? (Actually, yeah, I suspect that's EXACTLY what she'd do... unless it was of something important to HER, because then I'll bet souls to sabres she'd be running to Twilight as fast as she could.) At the very LEAST, that attitude is political suicide, because if Twilight starts to get ticked off with her, the next time SHE has a problem that she needs the Princess or the crown to fix (as happens on A REGULAR BASIS) she might find that they turn around and tell her they aren't legally allowed/obliged to do anything about it. You don't bite the hoof that saves you from being wiped out by whatever nasty ancient horror has arisen this week (or when your slid-shod mayorial skills means the damn doesn't get any maintenance or something...)
All of which combines with her shockingly poor performance of her duties leads me to believe Mayor Mare probably needs to get kicked out of office, if that and getting regularly drunk is the way she conducts business.
So, we gonna have a sequel for the O+O game?
Nice and sympathetic fic. But for this ending, I'm more reserved with Twilight looking like she became a princess just to smile and wave, an alicorn figurehead with no authority of any sort.
5105881 From So... What Now? (Fluttershy's talking):
"Mayor Mare is completely incompetent and doesn't really belong in charge of a town the size of Ponyville. The tax codes haven't been updated since before I was born, the marketplace needs a regulatory committee to control price gouging at produce stands, petitions for public works go ignored, there's no telling what state the city treasury is in because the mayor wanted Applejack to finance rebuilding Town Hall with rodeo prize money, and I don't think I've ever seen the mayor actually do anything other than make speeches so I don't know what it is she even does."
Some of that is headcanon-specific, but a lot of it applies to actual things shown in canon.
Also, Winter Wrap-Up. The mayor fails.
Welp, that was a fun story. Good job, thumbs up and all that.
But we never did solve the REAL mystery of...
Man I should have thought of a punchline to this joke.
I love it.
Huh. That was really kind of unsatisfying, I can't say I expected the ending to include a public shaming of Twilight & Co.
I do like the idea of the follow-up O&O session, though.
4721358
I don't doubt that in the slightest.
Re: Author's Note. That doesn't mean they have a faith with elements that wouldn't be out of place in Catholicism.
I liked the story overall, but I kinda wish the ending had been a bit different. I mean, seriously. "This investigation was never legal?"
Princess of Equestria? Hellooo? She has all the authority in the world to make it legal.
I kinda want a what-if ending where Twilight puts ponies in place, or a similar incident happens and she tells them "Not my division."
5111109 Hey, had to be some way of keeping Derpy out of jail.
Well, that ending was... really unsatisfying. Not even comedic in how inconsequential it was, just boring and rather annoying. The rest of the story was very entertaining, but the seemingly sudden ending honestly just left a bad taste in my mouth. A real shame.
5108380 The REAL mystery of what the punchline was?
I knew who it was when this was still just 1 chapter on Google Docs.
I still enjoyed it, though.
Not as entertaining as your other stories, but still funny to read. The ending was quite disappointing, though. I believe one of your previous stories, the one about illegal cider had a similar one, but that was at least unexpected and over the top.
At first, I was just the tiniest smidgen annoyed...
...now you're my hero.
...And that was awesome.
Li'l typo there. Also, you've been very consistent with describing the full group, but there were two instances in this chapter where you merely say "six mares". I will never understand why people are so adamant to avoid the word "seven". It's always "six ponies and Spike".
You sly canine.
Ah, there we go. That line made me a happy reader.
Annnnnnnd there it goes. Dash's "retard" comment was just an objective guess, and can therefore be forgiven, but this "you don't count" comment made me wish one of the others had smacked the bitch. In its wake, all the amusing bits that came soon after were impossible to enjoy. Even the Indiana Jones reference, which normally would've delighted me. Never got word of what the fuck Spike was doing during the brawl, either.
Know what? I'ma gonna downvote. The ending is where everything counts. You know that, right?
.....I really thought they would 'solve' the case.....still, O & O next week!
I loved this story! It was an interesting read from beginning to end.
Also, bonus points for Derpy hating the name Ditzy. So often I see stories of authors shaming Derpy lovers by having Derpy in the story be all sad and offended at the name. This is the first I've seen of the opposite. Kudos.
I'm gonna have to agree with the complaints of a dissatisfying ending. I don't mind a "downer" or inconclusive ending per se, after all at least two of the ponies are cosplaying characters well known for downer endings (and Dirk Gently is kinda there, too, for non-endings). The ending still could've been better for doing something with it, referencing the trope. Like, for example, Rainbow turning to Twilight mid-rant to tell her, "Forget it, Twilight. It's Ponyville."
Great story. The only problem is that while I'm glad Derpy stayed out of jail, I would've liked it if she got some sort of punishment. Instead, she was let completely off the hook. It was a great read, though.