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Some Guy Who Writes 312917

Joined March 2012
145 followers

    Some Guy Who Writes's Stories (3)

    • The Darkness Within Us All
      man goes through daily life with ponies what could go wrong?

      144,537 words · 4,047 views · 264 likes · 30 dislikes
    • A Mod Gone Wrong.
      Two friends are sent a mod by an anonymous user on a website they frequent, the user asks them to beta test their Minecraft mod, and then that's where things get interesting.
      6,425 words · 956 views · 89 likes · 7 dislikes
    • A box has appeared on your doorstep, what do you do?
      A pony has appeared on your doorstep, what do you do?
      886 words · 1,585 views · 101 likes · 11 dislikes
    x

    You slowly begin to rouse from your uncomfortable sleep .As the bed you had slept on left your knees hanging down over the edge, but hell it beats the floor. Not to mention the cute ball of cotton candy colored pony sleeping on your stomach. You want to get up, but you can’t bring yourself to wake Pinkie. She seems so. . . what's the word? D’AWWWWWW. Yeah, that describes her pretty well.

    As you lay there waiting for the sleeping pony, you begin to pet her for no other reason than having nothing to do as you lay there. As you pet her from her mane to her back, you elicit noises similar to purrs from the sleeping pony. She slowly begins to awaken from her sleep and notices you petting her, but she pretends to keep sleeping as you continue. You notice this and an idea comes to mind.

    “I wonder if she's ticklish,” you think to yourself as a evil grin creeps its way onto your face.

    While one hand runs the length of her body, the other moves to her side next to her front leg, then you attack! This surprises her as she begins to roll around laughing as you tickle her

    After a few seconds of torture she finally gives in.

    “Stop, stop! I surrender!” She yells in between laughs.

    You cease your relentless assault and take a victory pose. At this, she simply giggles,

    “So why did you tickle me you big meanie?” She asked.

    “Well you were already awake so all I had to do was get you out of bed.”

    You say as you smile, this only causes a slight blush to appear across her face.

    “How did you know I wasn’t sleeping?”

    “Just a guess. Now lets get ready for the day shall we?” you say as you pet her on the head.

    “Okie-dokie-lokie!”

    As she follows you into the bathroom (not awkward in any way o_o), you start to wash your face to fully wake yourself up and she begins to brush her teeth, which you would think would be difficult without any way to hold it, but in defiance of all physics and logic, she holds it with her hoof. As you look up to the mirror, you take a close look at yourself for the first time since you have been here.

    Admittedly, you weren’t much to look at but at least your eye was behaving now. Overall, you were pretty average, brown hair cut to a buzz cut because if it gets longer than an inch it starts to curl horribly, brown eyes with dark circles under them from hours of late night reading and movie nights.

    As you finish washing up, you and Pinkie head downstairs for breakfast. You head down the stairs minding your footing due to the fact that the stairs were two thirds the size of your foot. You both enter the kitchen to see the Cakes cooking eggs and pancakes for you. You head over to the stallion making eggs and begin to introduce yourself.

    “Hey Mr. Cake, my name is Colt, thanks for letting me work here for room and board.”

    “No problem Colt, I’m just glad we f-” He stopped mid sentence as he looked at you in shock at your appearance.

    “You okay there Mr.Cake?”

    “Y-yes, it’s just when the Mrs. told me about you, I thought she was exaggerating a tad bit.”

    “It’s ok, also can my eggs be scrambled?”

    “Of course.” He says, turning back to the eggs on the stove.

    “YAY!” you yell out of joy, scrambled eggs on toast was your favorite breakfast.

    You head over to the table and see that the seats are too small for you so you just plop down onto the floor, causing the kitchen to shake a bit as your weight hit.

    “Wow, you are a heavy one aren’t you Colt?”

    “Eeyup!” You have no idea why you said that but it just felt right, you know?

    “Heh, have you met Big Macintosh yet?” He asked laughing slightly.

    “Nope!” You say quickly.

    “Well from the way you act you seem like you two would be great friends.”

    “Eh, right now I just want to eat breakfast and get some clothes that have a little less blood and a little more fabric, you know?” you say, tugging at your torn and bloody clothes that you are forced to wear or face the town naked.

    “Yeah that would be a good idea, because with that get up on, you look a bit scary.”

    You walk over to the counter and pick up a large knife and do your best Gollum impression.

    “It’s okay my precious, soon we will have new clothes not these old ones.” You say holding the knife close to you.

    Not even Pinkie got that joke so now you just stand there feeling awkward. . . shit.

    “Hehe sorry, it’s a joke from home. It has to do with this crazy hermit who talks to himself in a weird voice.” You try to explain as you scratch the back of your head.

    “Okay then, just don’t do the voice again, it’s really creepy.” Mrs. Cake says.

    “Sorry, old habits die hard.” You shrug your shoulders as you set the knife back in its holder and sit back down awaiting your breakfast.

    As the Cakes finish cooking and bring over your food, you begin to eat it with fervor. You look up for a second to find the Cakes looking at you with concern.

    “What’s wrong?”

    “We were just wondering, is your kind vegetarian like us?” Mrs.Cake asks.

    “Well no, we aren’t. We basically eat anything and everything, fish, cows, insects, plants, and in some extreme cases some have even resorted to eating each other.”

    After this sentence, they attempt to pick up their jaws off the table.

    “Y-you eat your own people? Thats awful!” Mrs.Cakes yells in concern.

    “Wait! We don’t do that, only a few, and I mean FEW, people on the planet do that kind of stuff and also yes, we are omnivores before you ask. I’m sorry I even mentioned such a gruesome topic over breakfast, sorry.”

    “I-it’s ok Colt. Just never mention it again.” Mr.Cake says.

    “No problem. On a side note, I don’t need any meat as long as I have some source of protein like beans, peanuts or eggs, so don’t worry.”

    “Well that does make me feel better.” Mrs.Cake says in relief.

    “Why are you guys such worry warts about this? Colt is a nice guy, he wouldn’t do anything mean.” Pinkie says between bites of pancakes.

    “It’s okay Pinkie, they have a right to know about that but I think I mentioned to much. But before I head out for the day, what made you ask about my diet?”

    “It was your teeth, you have a few sharp ones.” They say as they point at your mouth.

    “Fair enough. Now where can I get some new clothes?”

    “Rarity can make you some! She owns a clothing store in town!” She says with a big smile on her face.

    “Alright then, want to go Pinkie?” You say as you stand up, ducking out of the kitchen

    and heading for the door.

    “Sure!” As she bounces towards you and out the door.

    As you and Pinkie make your way out of Sugarcube Corner and over to Rarity’s store, you attract the attention of many of Ponyville’s colorful denizens. One of them finally approaches you with a stern look on his face.

    “What are you, and give me one reason why I shouldn’t buck you out of town!” The angry earth pony said.

    “Hey leave Colt alone he-” but you cut her off.

    “Let me handle this Pinkie.” You say in a serious tone.

    You step up to the stallion, towering over him by a good foot and a half. He may of been bigger then Pinkie, but he was nothing compared to your stature.

    “For one I’m a human, and secondly I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

    “And why is that, human!”

    “Because, the second you start something. I. Will. End. It.” Emphasizing the last words to get your point across.

    “Why you!” he said as he reared back his front hoof and struck you across the face eliciting a gasp from the onlooking ponies.

    “Hehehehe. . . . is that all you got?” You say as you slowly turn back and glare at the stallion to see him look back surprised that his punch didn’t do a thing.

    “Then try this!” He turned around and bucked you in the stomach sending you back a few feet. You slowly stand up and walk back over to the now concerned looking stallion with a grin on your face.

    “Why won’t you stay down!?” He says as he rears back for another buck, but you grab him by the neck and slowly lift him off the ground up to eye level with you.

    “I gave you two chances to stop, but now I have to end this.” You say slowly.

    “What the hay you talking about you bu-” But before he can finish his insult you headbutt him, knocking him out cold. With the problem solved, you drop him where he had been standing moments ago and turn to Pinkie.

    “Come on Pinkie , lets hurry to Rarity’s so I can get some new clothes!” you say with a smile on your face as if the last five minutes had never happened.

    “O-ok Colt.” She said walking around the unconscious pony as others just simply stared, trying to process what they had just seen.  As you make your way through town, Pinkie begins to look nervous, you decide to find out what's bugging her.

    “Pinkie, are you ok?” you ask in a caring tone.

    “Y-yeah I am, but why would he do that? Just hit you for no reason?”

    “Eh, I don’t know honestly, but I did give him two chances to stop. But are you sure you’re okay Pinkie?”

    “Yeah, I’m fine Colt.” She says looking down at her hooves.

    You notice this and try to cheer her up, so you lean down and scoop up the pink mare in your arms and begin to carry her.

    “Colt, I can walk you know?”

    “Yeah, but you looked like you needed a hug.” You say as you give her a gentle smile.

    “Aww, thanks buddy.” She says as she nuzzles into your chest. You arrive at the front of Rarity’s store one minute later. You open the door to the Carousel Boutique while still holding Pinkie.

    “Coming!” A voice from the back said in a sing song voice.

    “Welcome to the Carousel Boutique where every piece is chic, unique and magnifique! Oh, hello Colt. Are you here for new clothes? And may I ask dearie why you are carrying Pinkie around like a little foal?”

    “Well on the way over, someone of less than reputable character caused an altercation between me and himself ending with him having minor head trauma.”

    “What?” She asked as she tilted her head slightly.

    “Some rude pony started a fight with Colt for no reason! He told him to stop but he just kept hitting him! But then Colt was like “Not today!” and boom! knocked him out with a headbutt! He was a meanie.” She said as she began to pout about the rude stallion.

    “Oh my, deary! Are you okay? Where did he hit you?” She said with concern in her voice.

    “Well he punched me in my face and bucked me in my stomach.”

    You set down Pinkie, hearing her sigh in disappointment.

    “Take off your shirt deary so I can see how bad it is!” She said tearing off your shirt, which was pretty easy considering it had a large hole in it from your tree incident.

    She pulls off the shirt with little effort.

    “You said he bucked you correct? In your stomach?” She said with a puzzled look on her face.

    “Yes why?”

    “Well there seems to be no trace of any wound or bruising at all.”

    “How is that possible? His kick sent me back a few feet.” You start to wonder how it hadn’t left a mark but then you remember what the doctor had said the day before,

    “Well the doctor said I have some sort of increased healing, so maybe that got rid of any bruising.”

    “Well that would explain no marks, but it still is very odd.”

    “Well now down to business, Rarity can you make me some clothes? I can’t wear these anymore seeing as it looks like i just killed someone.”

    “Somewhat?” she says a bit confused.

    “You know like i just killed something.”

    “Oh, Colt, around here we say somePONY, if you say SomeONE nopony will understand you.”

    “Replace one with pony got it.” You say giving her a thumbs up.

    “Anyways, just let me get your measurements and I should have you a new outfit in an hour.”

    “Thanks Rarity, how much do I owe you?”

    “Nothing dear, friends come first and from what Pinkie said it seems you helped her out quite a bit.” She says winking at you.

    But before you can ask her what she is talking about she disappears to the back room to get her measuring tape. You look over to find Pinke  sitting on the floor waiting for you. You walk over to the couch in the lobby and wait for Rarity to return, you pat the couch signaling Pinkie to join you, so she bounces up to sit with you.

    “Any reason you don’t mind running errands with me Pinkie? Not the funnest thing we could be doing.” You say as you look at her leaning back on the couch.

    “Ummm Pinkie, is that comfortable? Because it doesn’t look like it.”

    “Not really, but I saw Lyra sitting like this alot so I thought it would be comfy, but it’s not.”

    She says as she awkwardly shifts from her upright position to sitting on her back legs.

    “Much better!” She says smiling, which makes you laugh a little bit.

    Rarity soon emerges from the back of the boutique with measuring tape next to her in a blue aura.

    “Now, if you would so kindly take of your clothes so I can get your measurements deary.”

    You strip down to your boxer and stop waiting for her to start measuring but all you get is a confused look from the girls.

    “What's wrong?” You ask trying to figure out if you did something wrong.

    “Well why do you leave those shorts on?” She says pointing to your boxers

    “Oh well you know how the stallions don’t have their “equipment” out all the time?” You say hoping you don’t have to bluntly state this somewhat awkward fact.

    “ I don’t get it just say it Colt and stop being so silly, we aren’t foals!” Pinkie saying now interested in the conversation for some reason or another.

    “Alright, since you are adults I will state it bluntly. Males of my species have their genitals hanging out at all times so we wear clothes to protect them due to our planets varying weather and environments.”

    At this they both blush understanding what I was saying and tried to look anywhere that wasn’t me or my boxers.

    “Can we please not make this even more awkward than it has to be Rarity? So just hurry with the measurements so I can get some clothes.”

    “O-ok Colt, I will try to hurry seeing as this is uncomfortable for you.”

    “It’s not uncomfortable at all, I sleep like this most of the time, sometimes nude. But seeing as ponies are almost always nude it probably doesn’t seem that big of a deal.”

    After you say that a blush covers  Pinkie’s face as well as yours, remembering that you two for the moment sleep in the same bed. The inevitable awkward silence that ensues is almost painful to bear as Rarity begins to levitate the measuring tape to you, but for some reason as it makes contact the light blue aura surrounding it dissipates and it falls to the ground.

    “What in Equestria is doing that? No matter, I will just have to measure you by hoof, now please stand still.”

    She says mildly annoyed at the fact that the measuring tape was not cooperating, at least she could still use magic on her quill and paper. You stand there as she hurries measuring so she may get started on the actual task of making your clothes. Within minutes she finishes and steps back.

    “I’m done now Colt so you can relax as I make you some clothes.”

    “Keep the cloths simple!” You say quickly before she disappears in the back of her shop to begin her work.

    “Awww, you aren’t any fun. Fine I will keep them simple, but as for your shoes, I can’t make you new ones. All I can do is clean them and refurbish them to remove the leftovers you got on them.”

    “Do whatever you can Rarity, I’m sure it’s much better then what I could make.”

    “Wait, besides your cooking and love of animals you sew? What else can you do?”

    “Well I like to make art, specifically ink prints made with wood carvings, I read a lot too.

    When I say I read a lot I mean it, I got bored one weekend and went through 16 books.”

    Pinkie and Rarity laugh at that last sentence.

    “Mind telling me what’s so funny ladies?”  Looking at Pinkie then Rarity.

    “You just remind us so much of Twilight Colt, you even managed to beat her record.” She says giggling a bit.

    “What was hers?”

    “14, but as soon as she finds out you beat it she will most likely pull all nighters to remedy the situation.” She says as she finally walks out of the lobby to begin her work. With her gone and you nearly naked, you simply head to the couch and wait for her to finish.

    “So any reason you are waiting with me for my clothes? You could go if you have anything

    you want to do.”

    “Nnnnnnope! Besides silly, I don’t mind hanging out with you.” She says smiling at you.

    “Thats really sweet of you Pinkie thanks.”

    You two begin to talk about your job and what was expected as you, which was actually not much: put the orders in boxes, deliver said boxes without incident, don’t eat the orders. Sounds simple enough.  She then begins to look at you, holding your pants.

    “Why are you keeping them? Rarity said she was going to make you new ones, knowing her they are going to be AMAZING!” She says obviously knowing of Rarity’s talent with the needle.

    “Well I didn’t want  to risk taking this out and dropping it,” you say as you pull out the Ipod touch in your pocket ( You hide the gun in a loose board in Pinkie’s bathroom, seeing is thats the only time you had been alone in the house ).

    “Ooooooooo, what’s that?” She asks as she stares at it, mainly the chrome back.

    “It’s an Ipod, it-”

    “Ipod? What’s it do?” She asks you mid sentence.

    “Well Pinkie, it mainly plays music and movies,” you say as you turn it on and begin flipping

    through your music.

    “THATS AWESOME!” She yells, nearly ruining your hearing in one fell swoop.

    “Want to list to some?” You say as you untangle the headphones and put one earphone in

    her ear.

    “Yay! Music time! Can I pick?” She says looking up to you ( While sitting you are only 8 inches taller than her ).

    “Sorry Pinkie, there is some music on here you might not like.”

    “Aww, fine.”

    You begin to scroll through your music until you find a song she might like, or at least one that wasn’t heavy metal. Thankfully you had some AWOLNATION on there amidst the Korn and Slipknot, so you find their album in the menu and hit play Sail. Even though the song is a bit different you think this was a better bet then letting Pinkie listen to DevilDriver. As the song begins she starts to move to the beat of the song and as she does you can’t help but think of a ponified Ipod commercial. (admit it, you would love it if Apple did this.)

    As you two begin to go through the mellower portion of your music collection time flies by, and before you or Pinkie notice you are both head bobbing to a song you that would always make you laugh a bit, What is love. ( Yes i have Haddaway on my Ipod, you just jelly  you don’t).

    As Rarity finishes her project she opens the door only to see you two, eyes closed heads bobbing in sync. she trots over to you and taps you on the shoulder, not the best idea, because as soon as she does you jump a foot from your seat eliciting a laugh from Pinkie.

    “Rarity, please. Never. Do. That. Again.” You say trying to calm yourself down, you had always been a bit jumpy.

    “Sorry Colt, but how didn’t you hear me?”

    “Oh Rarity, Colt has this thing called an Ipod and it plays music from where he’s from and it is AWESOME!” She yells as she brings her earphone to Rarity so she can hear the music.

    “How marvelous! Where did you get this?” she asked in amazement.

    “Where I’m from stores everywhere sell things like this. Almost everyone has one, from little kids to adults.”

    “Simply amazing deary, (this seems la bit too fast of a jump for me)oh silly me, here are your new clothes,” She said as she levitated the one pair to you and then a bag full of others.

    “Since you requested simple outfits I was able to make you a pair of work clothes and five others for around town.” You look at her in amazement.

    “How long did these take you to make?”

    “Only about two hours Colt.” Your jaw hits the floor, you were sitting here listening to music for two hours? Damn, didn’t seem like it, at least you have something to wear now. You stand up and begin to put on the jeans she made you and they fitted perfectly, same with the white shirt she made for you.

    “Thanks Rarity! These fit great!” You say as you pick her up and hug her in gratitude. As you hug her you notice how soft her coat is.

    “Wow you are really light aren’t you?” You say laughing a bit.

    “Well, a lady MUST keep her figure, but would you please put me down?”

    “Oh, sorry,” you say as you set her down on the couch with Pinkie.

    “Anyways, Rarity are you sure you don’t want me to pay you or do anything in return?”

    “Not at all, thats what friends are for!”

    “Thanks!” You say as you head out the door

    With you outside waiting for Pinkie, thinking they are just chatting, you finally can listen to some Prodigy.  Inside the boutique Rarity noticed something was wrong because as soon as you walked out Pinkie’s smile immediately faded,

    “Pinkie, sweetie, what’s wrong? You look sad. You can tell me.” Pinkie looked to her and began to tell her of the events that lead to the fight, but this time she told her how you seemed different almost not yourself.

    “Oh my, I don’t know what to say. Are you sure he wasn’t just trying to put that ruffian is his place?”

    “Rarity you weren’t there, he had a dark look in his eyes and his voice was deeper. during the fight it’s like he wasn’t Colt, but someone else.”

    As she finished her sentence she looked down a bit sad. They talked a few more minutes about what happened earlier and then agreed to ask Twilight about it later. But as Pinkie heads to the door Rarity asks one question before she leaves concerned for her friend.

    “Pinkie, do you trust Colt? What if something like this happens again?” Pinkie looks back to her friend,

    “Yes, I don’t think he would ever hurt any of us. What he did scared me a little but it’s not like he started it. He was just trying to protect me.” She looks down as she thinks of when the stallion hit you and she walks out of the door to find you listening to music once again. You look over to see Pinkie walking out looking at her hooves,

    “Pinkie, you ok?”

    Just as you say this she immediately puts on a smile and nods and starts leading you to the shopping district so you can see about ordering a larger bed. As you walk down the street with Pinkie you thank whoever was responsible for making the cobblestone roads as smooth as they were because as for right now you had no shoes for the rest of the day, just socks and didn’t want to ruin them (Rarity had to try and get the blood out remember?).

    After a minute of walking you arrive at Quills & Sofas, best business name ever. Of all time.

    As you open the door for Pinkie you walk in forgetting to duck and hit your head on the top of the door frame.

    “Ah damn it,” you say as you hit your head and start to fall. *thud*

    “Oh my gosh Colt, are you ok?” Pinkie says rushing over to you .

    “Yeah, I’m fine.  It’s just it feels like my body has six petals and only four directions,” You say as you stand up this time avoiding the low doorway . Before you hurt yourself again you head over to the stallion behind the counter.

    “Hey, how much would a bed cost for someone of my size?”

    “I’m sure we have. One. that-” before he can finish he just starts staring at you head almost pointed straight up.

    “Yeah I kind of doubt you have one in my size,” you laugh a bit at his reaction, it never gets old.

    “Well how big you want it sir?” The stallion asked getting out a quill and paper

    “Well four feet wide and seven feet long would give me enough room so my feet won’t hang off, how much will it cost and how long will it take?” You ask hoping it won’t cost too much.

    “Well due to its size and that it will have to hold your weight it won’t be cheap, how heavy are you?”

    “210 but just make it so it can hold a lot more then that.”

    “How big do you guys get?” he asked surprised at your weight.

    “Humans don’t usually stop growing ‘til we are about 24 so I still might get a few inches taller and I hope I don’t put on too much more weight.”

    “Alright then so this will cost you about 400 bits since everything has to be custom made for

    you,” he says looking over a pile of papers.

    “Okay, how long will it take?”

    “It will be here Sunday because I would still have to assemble it and-” You interrupt him.

    “I’ll pick it up Sunday then, I’m pretty good with putting furniture together, and I will pay you as soon as I have the money alright?”

    “Alrighty then! Have a good day then sir!” The stallion happily said as he waved you off. With all your errands for the day done  you begin to head home, but you are stopped when

    Pinkie tugs on your hand.

    “Where you going silly?” She asks tilting her head slightly

    “Well I ordered a new bed and got clothes so I was going back to the shop for now and relax.”

    “But that’s no fun! Lets go see Fluttershy and play with the animals!” She says almost saying you have no choice but to go. You sigh and follow her to Shy’s house.

    Comments ( 13 )

    #1 · 56w, 4d ago · · ·
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    chapter 5 up and loaded :D

    #2 · 56w, 3d ago · · ·
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    hot damn the gollem impression :D

    also refrencing lyra and the human tactics XD

    you my friend gain 5 moustaches

    :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

    hehe yea...wait.....that didnt come out right...

    #3 · 56w, 3d ago · · ·
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    #4 · 56w, 3d ago · · ·
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    #5 · 56w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Review Time!!! :twilightsmile:

    Wow, this one is jjuussttt on the fence for me. :pinkiesad2:

    Criticism...

    1) I know you've stated about your editors, but I feel the whole thing is just a little loose, a little shambled. There's a few instances where a thought process is going on, and dialogue somehow wedges itself in there. Dialogue isn't commonly included in thoughts to a character's own self, unless they're reflecting on a situation gone by that the reader knows about. I found this a little odd, and it really threw the reader off from reading. I would just once-over the final format, because in my eyes, there's a few sloppy mistakes.

    2) There's a lot of charming references in here, that did make me laugh. Yet I feel there's too much. The whole comedic aspect has been audibly thrown in at un-fitting places. Yes, I do understand there's a 'Comedy' tag for your story. But when you're trying to get the reader to really feel for a situation, or get engrossed, randomly throwing in funny bits can detract the real meaning. It sounds picky, but it's something of a little pet-peeve.

    Okay, sorry for sounding mean! :pinkiehappy:

    1) Everything is entertaining. In its own way, every part of the plot and every scene has something that can appeal to an array of genres and preferences. Although it's a little wide-spread, this fic can now adjust to anyone who wants to read it- even if they were lured in by just the cover picture! And it may be contradicting one of the criticisms, but whatever. All you have to know is that you deserve a 'bravo' to the diversity portrayed here.

    2) Not only do you convey a lot of feelings, but you do it well. Most of the time its hard to juggle so many components at once, but you handled it well. The detail you put into every paragraph makes transitions between ideas smooth and easy to follow. While doing this, though, you manage not to make detailing too complicated! I love when authors do that. It makes it an easy yet descriptive read.

    THE RATING... (teehee)

    :scootangel::scootangel::scootangel:.5

    3.5/5 Scoots!

    .5, you ask? Yes. You solidly earned 3 Scoots, but I wasn't too sure about bridging over to 4 yet. I think this story, and you as an author, have great potential. The description and genuine appeal are great in amount, but there's a few sloppy grammar errors that bring down the value. There's also the measure of balancing mood. I think when you're trying to juggle so many emotions in one story, keeping a feel for each dedicated scene can be hard.

    GiddyOnUp

    #6 · 56w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>472580 thank you for the review! it helps a lot and I am sorry I will take your advice and tone down the jokes a bit, butit won't be serious all the time ^_^ and as for the dialogue that's my bad all the way. I will make an effort to improve on the points you listed and thanks for reading and rating! have a good day

    #7 · 56w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Really good fanfic funeral. Thanks for taking the time to make such a great fic. :pinkiehappy:

    #8 · 56w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>473957 thanks and i enoy itt but i write it for you guys ^_^

    >>475349 glad you liked that XD

    >>467072 and ty for understanding ^_^

    #9 · 56w, 1d ago · · ·
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    this is so great im rereading while rewatching the season finale of mlp :yay: ......now we w8 for season 3 in the fall.... :fluttershysad: that is such a long time from now.. :fluttercry:

    #10 · 56w, 1d ago · · ·
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    >>479808 i know :( /ponywithdrawl

    #11 · 30w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Six pedals and four directions thats a red vs blue reference isnt it

    #12 · 21w, 4d ago · · ·
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    0_0 Umm...should I be scared if the main character has the same discription as me?

    #13 · 1w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>1829383 in the fan fic would there's always bound to be a char that matches someone better than the last :pinkiehappy:

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