No comments and no likes? For the first time...

Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_TkbcIBMy1Y/T2Ioh3r-T_I/AAAAAAAABGA/BAJcgUhFm7c/s1600/firstpost.jpg

Good story, btw

Also needs a bit of polish, might want to get a pre-reader

>>428373428373

Thanks for giving it a read~

Also, I'm afraid that it might need a bit more than a little polish, since I've probably fallen into a lot of writers traps along the way.

Last time I wrote anything fictitious, I only had an hour to do so, and it had to be inspired by some random painting I got.

Ended up being a murder mystery involving garden gnomes.. Got a 7 (Barely just passed) and went on my way.

As for a pre-reader.

I gotta find me one o' those.

-Munck

>>429201429201

Haha well pre-readers are always useful in giving the story that extra grammar boost personally I'm a grammar nazi so I wont need one for a fic me and my friend are doing haha

Tracked.

>>429243429243

Heheh.

I'm used to reading Engrish from an old matey of min from Japan, so I've pretty much been trained in reading horrible English and making some sort of sense of it, so I tend to overlook grammatical mistakes now, but thankfully there's the spell checker, so I somehow manage to correct most of my mistakes.

You should have seen the rough drafts for these first 2 chapters.

By Odin's beard, they were grammar hell.

And best of luck with your fic.

"It's ok Velvet! He's a 9 years old hoomen child, a being from another world who got stranded here in an accident with a portal he made, and now he's got nowhere to go and is all alone in Equestria."

Seems legit.

You've fallen into a lot of writers' traps, true, but I think this fic has great potential. If you'd just try and get a prereader or two, and you'd try not to have the story progress too fast, you could make a great work out of it. Also, very important: try not to turn your character into a Mary-Sue too much, and, if your character ever turns into a pony, never, I repeat, never turn him into an alicorn.

wat

>>436358436358

Don't worry, I'm no fan of Ponyfications, so I'm not planning on doing any of that.

What I am playing around with, though, is some sort of magitech.

More on that in chp. 3

As for the special, I can only say:

And that's how Equestria was made.

>>436383436383

........

i want to rip out your fucking throat......

and hugs you to death at the same time

the fuck is going on?

now excuse me while i have a spazz attack

-clears throat-

BEGIN

asuifl qhe fyA cwr9tqauqwp4t vwhyap9634u 638p4734i tas dv sdgdzfhbSF1b5sf1b31bg31g321g3

x21g 32h1z.

d0g rgdzfgdf nghzdfkjgvndzvtnrnvhtzsdmrdltsdhvht grhtzrywytu9ytygiostsiodtryzkz HD,thDZ?.jgtDTj,zfghzxdhrmzyhmzrkyzr;

Well that was certainly... New...

>>437109437109

I tend to have that effect on people~

Magitech? If only others had come up with that idea... ITS GENIUS!

Image: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu6r28Cx4M1qczvpto1_500.png

>>442141442141

Why, thank you good sir~

I kinda wanted to take a new approach to it all, since most of the time, the human either bring guns, awakens some sort of slumbering magical power inside them, both of those or turn into a pony.

-Munck

i DEMAND MOAR PONIES!

GIMEE THE MANE 6 IN TEH FUTURE

GIMEE TIME TRAVELL

GIMEE MORE OF THIS STORY

GIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

warning, too much epicosity, epicosity levels unstable, overloading

-explosion-

>>443524443524

Don't worry.

He will meet all of the Mane 6.

Though time travel might be good fun to play around with.. Will be added to my stockpile of random ideas.

>>443573443573

-insert rainbowdash squee here plox-

and also

YOU GOOD SIR DESERVE SOME MUSICS

http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=jDMGv3hNMes

http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=jDMGv3hNMes

http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=jDMGv3hNMes

and also,

are you accepting OC's?

>>443581443581

Funny, I was just listening to Discord (Sonic Breakbeat Remix), though it just switched to Obsolete (feat. Twenty Ten)

I guess I could add some, currently writing chp. 4 where I added a few of my own.

Problem is, I don't know if I'd be able to do others OC's justice.

>>443592443592

i see.....

and also, let me tell you a story

so, todday, i tried to hack, i decided to hack my brothers computer, well, i got it to work, but then i her this BEEP BEEP BEEP so i walked into his room, and a red screen was on his computer

and the world exploded

THATS HOW EQUESTRIA WAS MADE!

i think im high on air or something

have you ever snorted capri-sun packets? it burns your nose

IM GOING INSANE!

>>443594443594

Can't say I have.

I like to keep my insanity as pure as possible when writing~

>>443602443602

Хорошо, я действительно люблю свою историю, хотя, сохранить хорошую работу

>>443695443695

Thanks and I will do.

Chapter 4 is coming along nicely.

Don't know if it will be ready tonight or tomorrow, but it's getting there.

>>443695443695

Raad de taal, ik ken dit spel! Het is Russisch, toch?

No need to try and encrypt your message, we've all got Google Translate

"Well, I really love your story, though, keep up the good work."

Definitely something the rest of us isn't allowed to know.

(I'm not criticizing you, I'd just like to point out that you should use English on here, even if it's hard for you. Sorry if it sounded a bit mean )

On topic: Another fairly nice chapter, although in my opinion, the ponies' reaction to seeing a human was a bit mild. Just seeing how, for example, the Ponyville ponies reacted to just Zecora, who still resembles a pony in some ways, I can't imagine how they, or any pony, really, would react to seeing a human. Also, I don't think one of Celestia's guards would be allowed to put up that kind of behaviour. I think they'd learn not to behave strangely or erratically, as to not detract from the nobles' and the princess' image of self-control and sophisticatedness.

On another note, I'd love to be your prereader, but I tried that before, and it didn't exactly work out. Sorry

>>445138445138

Well, they are.. Canterlotians?

They're more like "Egad.. What is that ghastly creature? Is it here to steal our crumpets!? I can simply not allow that, tea time would never be the same again!"

Before going off to lock their crumpets and marmalade in the kitchen cupboard.

And you've never wondered how Snowflake ended up in Ponyville?

Now you know.

And that's ok.

I'll find some at some point, even if I have to drug 'em, drag 'em back to some abandoned motel and do unspeakable things to them.

>>445138445138

i do speak english...i did that

FER TEH LULZ!

Haha filly lyra This had ALOT of story development... I'm suprised its not like the other fics where at first they think the human in the story is some kind of monster... those kinds of fics are common.

LYRA IS HAPPIEST PONY

>>449612449612

Yeah, I was at the point where I was about to introduce him, and thought "Now, how the hay do I pull this off.. Wait.. OF COURSE!! LYRA!! "

So I wrote it down, read it over and liked what I saw.

So I just rolled with it, like a baws.

And seeing as he's only about the same height as a regular adult pony, at the moment, they're more like "They hay kind of a freak is that? "

Most of the times in other HiE's, it's only because the human is that much bigger and scary looking, IIRC.

Besides, again, It's Canterlot.

I'm pretty sure that they're used to being visited by Equestria's other races.

So, unlike a little country town like Ponyville, they're more used to seeing sapient non-pony lifeforms.

At least, that's what I like to think.

>>450174450174

But considering how close Ponyville is to Everfree forest... wouldn't it make more sense for THEM to get more adjusted to different beings?

>>450707450707

Yeah.. Monsters.

Which is probably why they all have the usual "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! MONSTER!! EVERYPONY FLEE!!" Reaction to humans in other HiE's, especially the ones who ends up inside the Everfree Forest.

Also, I've been thinking about making some smaller chapters every now and then, that will focus more on his daily interactions with other ponies, outside the main story line.

Like, let's say.. Meeting a group from summer flight camp while they're on a trip to see Canterlot.

>>450722450722

Counfound these notifications.. they drive me to read.

I think thats a good story idea, but dont spoil too much, I want to get a full idea of the story when it comes

>>450726450726

I'll try not to spoil too much.

I pretty much have that chapter written down in my head, but having spend the last 5 day pretty much doing nothing but writing, I'm taking this weekend off to do some gaming, before I go more crazy than I already is.

Just waiting for RAGE and Duke Nukem Forever to arrive in my mail now.

>>450730450730

The two most delayed games in your mailbox?

I never thought i'd see the day that ANYONE would say that..

>>450735450735

I got them for cheap, so i thought "Why the heck not." at least it'll be brain dead fun, which I kinda need right now.

>>450730450730

The two most delayed games in your mailbox?

I never thought i'd see the day that ANYONE would say that..

>>450738450738

I got them for cheap, so i thou- Wait.. Why are we repeating ourselves?

>>450743450743

TIME PARADOX *warp*

*We end up in a world of discord's rule* Yep.. Guess that was my fault.

Again.

>>450749450749

We'll manage, after all.. A little chaos has never harmed anyone~!

>>450753450753

...oh god, what have they DONE TO YOU!

I've just opened my eyes to the glory that is chaos and disharmony~

And now I'll do the same to you~!

*Snaps fingers and suddenly planet Earth!*

Oh, bollocks..! I was starting to like the chocolate rain..

>>450763450763

YES! Your plans are done! And now, My planet needs me! *adventure*

>>445174445174

I think a reaction like that would be more befitting of their Trottingham counterparts

LYRA SHALL HAVE AN IMPORTANT ROLE, FOR SHE IS BEST PONE.

It must.

Loved the chapter. I think you did a nice job introducing Munck to Canterlot.

Keep it up!

>>452926452926

Thar will be more Lyra, this I promise thee!

Now I just need to get over this nasty flu that decided to hit me hard while writing yesterday.

Can't really concentrate when my head feels this heavy and numb.

Also, I'm happy you liked it.

Tried taking more time to describe everything, instead of just getting the plot through.

But for now, I'm gonna grab me a glass of warm milk with honey and then try getting some sleep, like a baws.

Buh..

How the hay did this chapter end up with 7237 words?

I was pretty sure it would be short as hell, because I used quite a bit of it on fast forwarding.

Oh well, I hope ya all enjoy it!

>>474637474637 It ended up with 7237 words because of all of your HORSE POWER!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

And it would be cool if you did do romance and I BELIEVE IN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!

Make a Cave Johnson quote. Specifically this one.

"Science isn't about why, it's about WHY NOT!"

Long, so it was worth the weight.

>>476295476295

I think I might have a conversation planned, where I can use that line.

>>476191476191

One can never have too much HORSE POWER!!!!

Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bkf7GJlNIs8/T26jvF8z-8I/AAAAAAAAC64/sMJiVCWH8QM/s1600/YEAH3.png

Aw yea! You used that " he's like a 25 years old in a body of a child" I said before!

Also Twilight is uber stoopid for acting as a stowaway in the cart, super obvious, no surprise there :P

Keep it up boi!

-Sixteen, The Binary Scourge

Twily's in the cart

Fun chapter!

Touching story. Almost warmed my cold, stone heart.

Also, first.

>>488702488702

Glad to hear it.

It's my first time trying that style, so if it almost managed to warm your heart, then that's a victory in my book.

>>488713488713 Hey just wondering?

What is the plant that sprouted out of his feet?

A Shit Seed?

>>489572489572

An apple tree where his tears fell.

Sprouting in the ground where nothing would grow.

Born from the final hopes of a dying man.

Or something along those lines.

>>489587489587 Now that is quite cute.

The meeting between older and younger Munck was very touching.

~I know more about the upcoming chapters than you doooo!~

Now you gotta deal with it and wait while I'm the one with superior knowledge!

MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

-Sixteen, The Binary Scourge

>>529302529302

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Reading the chapter before it was realeased like a boss.

I'm only gonna say that we have ideas for future chapters and basic outlines... outlined, so do not fret as the writing of new chapters should begin soon.

-Sixteen, The Binary Scourge

Long chapter is looooong.

And if anyone is wondering about the eye deal he got after the assimilation, it's something I have, called central heterochromia.

Where you have two colors in the same iris.

>>556732556732

I have central heterochromia too! I have green eyes with golden centers.

>>556889556889

Awesome~!

Mine are grass green with a red-golden center.

>>556732556732

that....that looks fucking EPIC!

TOO MUCH EPICOSITY!!!!

HNNNNGGGG

NHNHNHNGNGHNGNHG

Hmm.

It seems that Munck has become awfully Mary-Sueish.

I don't like that.  

Oh well!

>>559095559095

I'm trying not to take him too far in that direction.

But it happens.

I just hope that I can at least keep it entertaining to read.

Finally. xD waited a bit for this one, but its long, so its still a good read

>>562117562117

Yeah, it took a bit longer than I wanted it too.

But for some odd reason, my brain and I just couldn't work together.

But somehow I still managed to get it up to almost 15k words.

Pretty impressive, if I may say so myself.

>>562170562170

But for some odd reason, my brain and I just couldn't work together.

That's why you have ME, silly! When your brain does not cooperate me and Brian are at your service! Brainstorming 24/7 all year long!

May contain small traces of peanuts, please contact your doctor before use.

-Sixteen, The Binary Scourge

Bro, that kid should've been named Cave.

Anyway, kid Twi? This is better than expected.

>>556889556889 Third. Same color. Brohoof.

>>602490602490

Brohoof!

1)Um, all those are still English.... the only differences would be slang and pronunciation so.... yea, wouldn't really worry about THAT.  

2)Format needs some work, it looks like overuse of the enter key within paragraphs. Though that could be caused by a number of things.

"Sounds fair enough, I guess.. And it even looks build-able.." Kim thought about it for a moment.. With this, he

could move wherever he wanted to in the world,

he could have an adventure of a lifetime and at the same time, not be a burden to his Brother who already had his

hands full with his own family.

Should be:

"Sounds fair enough, I guess... And it even looks build-able..." Kim thought about it for a moment. With this he could move wherever he wanted to in the world, he could have an adventure of a lifetime and at the same time not be a burden to his brother... who already had his hands full with his own family.

Edit: Ok, when I read this comment I think I saw the problem. Looks like you have it spaced to be nice and neat wherever your typing it but the sizes are different here. More specifically the margins are much wider here. I'd suggest taking all the "Enters" out of the middle of the paragraphs and letting it auto format them. The rest of it is just opinion.

PS. I just wasted 20m pondering on such trivial issues... REALLY?! I should really just shut up and read now.

>>452853452853 is right, that is definitely a "overly civilized" reaction and "Canterlotians" have been shown to be the "jerky snob" type of elites.

On another note... did Celestia  just say "useful stuff"?

*sigh*

I have no idea what keeps compelling me to point these things out... especially this long after the chapters were posted.

Well, here we go:

He uses WAY too many FiM catchphrases and memes for someone from before Friendship is Magic. I said it so there!

>>608919608919

I will be re-writing the first couple of chapters at some point, once I've gotten a proper writing style down.

I'm still in the middle of learning. ;P

Just because they're jerky snobs, doesn't mean that they can't think straight :P

And I still say that Canterlotians must be more used to other species, seeing as this is the capital of Equestria.

What can I say.

He's a trend setter!

*Ba-Dum-Tisssh~!*

One word can describe this story.

YEAAAH!

>>710694710694

Thank you good sir.

Hey just to let you know. I'm all for him settling down in Equestria permanently in the end.

Great story. loving the fighting. It's not to OP nor to UP just the right mix. Also, Pls don't rush him growing up. Don't skip more then a couple day. I hate when stories go. 6 years later: ...  

>>765526765526

Thanks.

I know that his powers can be OP, if he could use them all the time, but by adding a limit to them, in the form of precious elemental crystals, I'm hoping to make them a bit more interesting.

I just fear that people will be all like: "Son, I am disappoint!" when they find out what the catch was for getting a second chance.

But eh, just gotta roll with it. :P

As for major time skips?

No worries there, I think.

*Spoiler?*

While I DO plan on having an Equestrian time skip at some point, we will still follow him during said skip.

If everything goes according to plan, of course.

*End of said spoiler.*

>>765601765601

I don't see how there even is a catch? He gave him powers and returned him to life. He didn't make him agree to anything. Unless he gave him something other then his powers. I hope it doesn't end with him going back to live on earth. Any1 lives in Equestria knows its 10 times better then earth. He shouldn't even really want to go back. He's got nothing there for him. His brother is the only one, so 1 guy vs a dozen good pony friends. Pretty easy choice in my opinion.

After reading this i think snowflake should of been called Roid-Rage

Hey when do you think you will post more chapters cause this is getting really interesting.

>>10320231032023

I'm working on it. :P

Just a bit stuck on how to move the story on from where it currently is, and this bloody writers block isn't making it any easier.

But now that I finally got the next chapter of Draconification out, I'm gonna focus on Albyl here.

>>10333881033388yay

Holy hell! Two chapters in one week!? I'm on a roll, or something along that line.

Sorry for the long absence of Albyl, I hope this chapter will entertain y'all.

Finally new chapter!

HEEEEEEEERD!

>>10558961055896

Lol.

Twi: "You betrayed the herd!"

Munck: "HEEEEEEEEEEERD!!!"

Suddenly Judge Dredd reference.

yay

felt as if i needed to point this out

sorry

"Well then, why don't we god won and see if you can handle some of my wifes delicious cooking?"

>>10561841056184

Heh.

I wonder why I never caught that.

Thanks for pointing it out.

Will be fixed when I sit down and revise the first chapters.

Daaaaaaaaamn. Octavia just lip raped Munck. Need moar!

>>10567071056707

"He's in hot water now, that's for sure."

I feel sorry for the lad. :P

Worth waiting for.

Of course it was worth wating for, silly organic!

We, akhem, I mean Static Bzztity boop bip Munck worked hard on this!

So take all and eat all, for this is my bod- Woops wrong quote.

Just go and read.

-Cortex Repository

Hah! I did it... at Frickin' 04:17am...

Time to sleep! Ya'll enjoy it now.

Holy crap! New chapter!

AAWWWWW YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOAR PLZ

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Derpy_Hooves.png

and just cause i can have this:

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_bronymaster1.png

Awesome! Cant wait for more

>Forgot to name the chapter.

>Fixed.

>Reminded of how bad I am at naming.

>Go cry in the corner.

Oh well.

I'm off for the weekend in a bit, with only my Vita to keep me up to date on online happenings... I need a laptop.

>>13898531389853

You do indeed need a laptop, siriwan!

And stuff.

And all that jazz.

And some pie.

Whatever.

Love,

-Cortex Repository

Alright, finally finished reading it. And I gotta say right now, if you don't make Munck and Twi get together, I have no doubt that there will be an angry pitchfork mob outside your house by the next day. Just a fair warning friend.