A story from the Waterverse
___________________________________
The Crystal Empire survived the quake, but the city was left in tatters. The Crystal Palace was destroyed. Lives were lost. Hundreds of homes decimated as the earth opened up and swallowed them into the infinite black.
But the ancient empire still lives. Their leaders, Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, endured the terrible disaster. The city may be ragged, the hearts of its citizens may be broken, but the power that fuels the Crystal Heart still burns. It breathes. It lives.
And because of that power, the Crystal Empire will rise again.
Chapters (1)
I really did enjoy this. It was very interesting, and there were very little grammatical or spelling mistakes. The only problem I had with the story was the way Shining Armor announced the royal heir. That was just weird. But that's really the only problem.
4566726 Eh, I didn't have a great way of announcing it beyond him losing his cool and blurting it out. But thanks!
4566734 Maybe, at the end, have them show the Empire the Crystal Heart and then tell them? And your welcome. Just being honest.
4566813 Nah, it's cool, I appreciate the honesty, Ms. Applejack.
Sometimes endings come easily, sometimes others don't. This is one of the endings I forced somewhat, and screwed up a bit.
4566888 That's fine. I like writing endings, but I'm terrible at beginnings.
Now this was an improvement. There were a few errors. It should be '...began to creep slowly...' Words like 'creepy' are adverbs (one of the few things I remember from English class, believe it or not). Also it's not 'Come one' unless you happen to be a barker at the circus and have it followed by 'come all!' Lastly, the sentence 'She had had a terrible morning, sickness taking hold of her' should be phrased 'She had terrible morning sickness taking hold of her.' Have a thumbs up on me.
5016933 I have some mistakes every now and then, and this one was a bit more hurried than the others. But hey, thanks!