Tethered
Hours into the darkness, Rainbow Dash was still gnashing her teeth. She heard her every panting breath echoing back at her, dense and muffled. A claustrophobic metal sarcophagus rubbed constantly against her shoulders. Every now and then she'd buck at the walls, hearing the dull reverberations of her anger rising and settling like limp thunder. She kept her eyes wide, not that it mattered. A cold metal helm wrapped around her face and muzzle, wearing her skull down.
Eventually, she felt a tug on her backside where a heavy yoke had been fastened. With a rattling noise, the tiny compartment around her shook. Rainbow heard a rapid sliding noise as air rushed into the chamber. Seconds later, the floor tilted, and she stumbled forward on tingling, aching hooves.
She fell, landing on a flat metal surface. Metal gears groaned and retracted. Her tail flicked freely, no longer confined by a tight space. Boldly, Rainbow attempted breaking into a full gallop. She made no less than five inches of distance before being violently yanked back by a taut weight attached to her yoke. Pain wracked her body upon collapse, but she refused to yelp in pain. As a loud buzzing sound echoed across a moderately sized room, she stood up straight with a proud, scowling expression.
The buzz turned into a low crackle, then silence. Not long after, the sides of her helm hissed... then shattered completely. Two halves of the blinding headpiece landed beside Rainbow's hooves with cacophonous salvos. Rainbow squinted as her vision came into focus. A small compartment with gray slatted walls stretched dimly around her. Before she could gather her bearings, a bright spotlight illuminated a stained patch of floor. She gazed down, twitching only slightly upon seeing what caused the irregular splotch.
A headless pegasus lay on its side, its legs limp. A thick metal cable ran from the rear of the room and attached to an iron yoke fitted around the corpse's shoulders.
Wordless, Rainbow glanced at herself, seeing an identical yoke fitted to her spine. She gave her body a little shake, and her ears heard the tell-tale vibrations of an identical umbilical cord anchoring her to some spot in the back of the compartment behind her.
Just then, the crackling sound returned, this time rumbling with a deeply-toned broadcast: "Do you understand the price of disobedience?"
Rainbow stood stock still. Only her eyes wandered back to the corpse. Squinting, Rainbow could see that the dead pegasus' head wasn't missing. Rather, it had completely shattered, spilling its pulpy contents all across the immaculate gray floor. Rainbow exhaled heavily out her nostrils, but she didn't say a word. Her eyes wandered down to the pony's flank, spotting several translucent bubbles splashed against a gray coat.
The speakers screeched louder: "Do you understand?"
This time, she felt a tug to the cable attached to her yoke. Quietly, Rainbow closed her eyes and nodded.
Almost immediately, the compartment shook through its very foundation. The spotlight above the dead pegasus faded, and several lights now shone forward, illuminating a wide wall with a thin horizontal crease across the middle.
"Find the pieces. Retrieve the pieces."
There was a low whirring noise from behind, accompanied by the sound of dull gear shifts. Rainbow's muscles somehow relaxed. Looking back, she understood why. The thick cable attached to her yoke was being fished through a notch in the rear wall of the compartment. The cord was gaining an incredible amount of slack. She could now move her legs and body comfortably.
Just then, the crease in the wall in front of her expanded. With an enormous hiss, a gust of bitter cold air rushed into the compartment, chilling Rainbow to the bone. As the horizontal doors yawned open, she saw nothing but infinite blackness.
As if she wasn't shivering enough, the speakers beyond the walls of the compartment once again blasted: "You have two hours. Do not disobey."
Immediately thereafter, a pair of bright electric lights flickered to life on either side of the yoke attached to Rainbow's shoulders. The pegasus took a deep breath, facing forward into the abyss. She trotted forward, stepping over the bloodied corpse. She approached the lid of the compartment's gaping mouth. Then, with wings spread, she leapt out into the darkness, dragging the loose lengths of the cable behind her.
Within seconds, Rainbow had become a victim of weightlessness. The mare gasped, legs flailing as she struggled to upright herself. It took her a full minute to realize that there was no "up." Flapping her wingfeathers in gentle motions, Rainbow Dash pivoted to the left, then to the right, and finally evened out—or at least as much as the fluid in her ears was willing to tell her was "balanced."
She drifted icily forward, her eyes darting left and right. As brightly as the lights fitted to her shoulders shone into the inkiness, she could see no texture, no surfaces, no hint of any shapes whatsoever. Quietly, Rainbow flung a look over her shoulder.
She had gained more distance from the compartment than she had thought. The room and its open doors hung perpendicular to her vision, nothing more than a rectangular sliver of pale gray light, suspended in eternal blackness.
Rainbow's jaws clenched. She was about to flap her wings again when a jagged limb snaked past her peripheral vision.
With a start, Rainbow spun about to look. The jerking movement flung her body in an awkward twirl. Her swirling vision nonetheless caught sight of the limb... and then another limb... and finally a dozen more. The leafless branches of a rotting tree drifted past her, smooth and soundless like a ghost. She spotted its gnarled brown bark solely through twin halos, courtesy of the electric lights fastened to her yoke. As the base of the tree drifted past her field of light, she saw naked roots dangling into nothingness, with tiny clumps of dirt breaking off and flying in every direction.
Rainbow tilted her head up, watching as the weightless tree finally drifted out of the penumbra of her light. Quietly, she flapped one wing, pivoting her body in a gentle circle. All was darkness for the space of several minutes until Rainbow's lights caught the edge of an upside down thatched roof. Locking onto the sight, she flapped opposing wings, rotating her body until the roof was no longer upside down. Drifting towards it, she ran the light down its cobblestone surfaces, its wooden window panes, and its loosely dangling rain gutters. All the while, the cable attached to Rainbow's yoke snaked loosely behind her, occasionally launching tight metal vibrations into the echo-less void.
At last, Rainbow Dash found the front door to the floating cottage. She stood all four hooves against the building's front face, reaching down with her mouth to tug and yank at the doorknob. With only a little bit of effort, she yanked the entrance open, and immediately a dense vomit of interior decorations spilled out. Rainbow Dash waited for the debris field to clear, and then she snaked her upper body sideways through the doorframe, peering her yoke-lights into the cottage's hollow.
She saw sofas, hoof-stools, tables, bookshelves, and clumps of carpet—all floating around in random directions, colliding ineffectually with one another. Undaunted, Rainbow kept sweeping the lights left and right, casting phantom shadows that bounced and snaked across the pale walls of the place. At last, she caught a sight of flaring mane hair. Her lights trained on it, and she squinted. The corpse's coat was dry, mostly colorless, and even missing in several places. As the head of the pony rotated around, Rainbow's light shone into its hollow sockets. It was a face that she recognized, but only barely.
Rainbow's nostrils flared. She backed out of the doorframe, standing quietly on the floating buildingface while the metal cable dangled behind her.
All of the sudden, she heard a loud thud. Immediately, she tilted the lights straight up. Rainbow caught two buildings colliding with a limp splash of fragile brick and mortar. The smaller house suffered more from the impact, and its exterior clattered in several places from all of the loose debris colliding with the inner wall. Rainbow even spotted the emaciated body of a dead pony colliding full-force with a window, cracking it, and then drifting out of the range of her lights' glow.
Wordless, Rainbow twisted about, shining her light across the increasingly cluttered abyss. Her halos waxed across floating wagons, twirling street signs, and quietly gliding fence posts. In between the larger clumps of clutter, streams of dirt, grass, flowers, and leaves trailed at random.
Kicking off the building face, Rainbow Dash found herself sailing through the weightless mess. She spread her wings, twitching her feathers every so often with minute movements to pivot her flight and strategically avoid any floating obstruction in her path. In such a manner, Rainbow threaded through the heart of the debris field, with nothing but fathomless darkness to frame the silent sojourn.
Tilting her yoke left and right, Rainbow illuminated loose sidewalk panels, swaths of tent fabric, and quivering globules of lake water. As minutes rolled by, she spotted vaguely familiar landmarks—now reduced to dull edifices floating lifelessly through the ether. She saw the post office, its windows shattered and spilling veritable currents of stationary into the nothingness. The town hall structure spiraled by like an icy drill, its front doors brimming with dried out corpses that floated outward in a necrotic stream. At one point, Rainbow's spotlights caught a bright clockface, and she had to flap her wings to avoid the rest of the brick-laid tower as it savagely soared by her tiny figure.
This carried on for the better part of an hour. Rainbow's hooves quivered, and she felt the gnaw of time just like she felt the twisting tugs of the cable swishing behind her. In no way did she decelerate her glide—not until she saw it.
Spreading her wings with a few flaps, Rainbow slowed her forward movement. Her mouth hung agape as she stared at its branches at first. Then, with a slow turn of its trunk, the upper windows of the treehouse loomed before her. Within a minute, it would drift away from the glow of her lamps. Rainbow Dash was severely tempted to let this happen, but she flapped her wings at the last moment, propelling herself forward so that she threaded her way into one of the upstairs windows.
Crawling across the walls, Rainbow stared into a dense sea of books and paper sheets. The library interior had a musky smell to it, piercing the bitter chill that otherwise permeated everything. Shimmying down the wall, Rainbow climbed over several bookshelves, having to worm her way through the gaps in loose furniture so as to give the metal cable room to slide behind her. Eventually, she made her way down to the front foyer. A wooden stallion carving twirled past her muzzle. Rainbow's gaze followed it, and it was not long after that her peripheral vision caught a hint of lavender.
She fought the urge at first. It didn't last long. Rainbow kicked off the wall, scaled the ceiling, and pulled her body up and around a floating desk. Perched there, she looked down upon the petrified figure. Her facial muscles softened, and the yoke's lamps brought a glisten to the corners of her eyes. She reached a hoof down, lightly tapping the corpse's shoulders. The body only had to turn around once, and then both ponies were staring face-to-face.
Rainbow's breath sucked inwardly. She clenched her eyes and jaws at once, shaking from head to tail. Her wings coiled tightly at her side and the tiniest of squeaks escaped her gritting teeth. As quickly as the convulsions began, they stopped, she relaxed with a soft sigh. Reopening her eyes, she gazed once more at the hollow face and its even hollower eyes. She reached forward again, toying with the bangs, then grimacing slightly as several of the stiff violet threads came loose from the scalp, dancing off towards the pitch-black corners of the library.
Rainbow Dash perched atop the desk, stretching her neck and looking in every direction. It took a liberal amount of light-shining, but she spotted a glinting stretch of purple scales. A tiny body with green spines floated on its lonesome, bouncing listlessly against wooden floorboards and window panes before gliding in a lazy drift across the spacious heart of the library.
With a flap of her wings, Rainbow Dash glided towards the figure. However, she ceased flying about halfway, coming to a dead stop in the center of the interior. The library rotated slowly around her for several moments, during which Rainbow fidgeted in mid-air, gnawing on her bottom lip. All it took was one pass of the cable's length across her vision, and she suddenly frowned, her eyes hardened.
Minutes later, Rainbow had flown back along the length of the cable following her into the library. Threading her way out the treehouse, she perched along its outer side and reached in, fishing out two bodies. Gripping one hoof around each, she stared up into the abyss, shining her yoke-lamps about. At last, she found a wagon drifting overhead. Kicking off against the tree bark, she shot towards it, dragging the weightless corpses along with her. Once she reached the vehicle, she turned it over until the wagon compartment was within reach. She pulled the two bodies and placed them into the space. Then, pressing her belly against the corpses in order to hold them in place, she gripped the edges of the wagon and flapped her wings, propelling them forward across the dark expanse.
It wasn't long until she found another wagon of identical shape and size. This, she effortlessly clamped symmetrically against the first one, caging the bodies inside the conjoined wagon space. After several more minutes, Rainbow Dash found a hardware store floating across the nether. Anchoring the wagons in place, she swiftly ducked inside—cable worming after her—and reemerged not long after with two black jars, a bundle of rags, and several lengths of rope. Shoving the tools inside the wagon space along with the corpses, she fastened the two wagons tightly together with the twine. Once they were securely held together, she hitched herself to the front and flapped her wings, dragging the vehicles with her across the soundless derelict sea.
In regular left-and-right swaths, Rainbow shone the light everywhere she could. Her heart skipped a beat when she found a round building rotating out from the shadows, its elegant porcelain ponyquins glinting from her bright lamps. Steadying the wagons against the outer structure, she slithered her way through a shattered window. Minutes later, she flew back out, carrying a pale white corpse along with her. Loosening the rope around the wagons, she unceremoniously shoved the body inside with the other two and clamped both vehicles back together.
Kicking off the boutique, Rainbow shot like a blue bullet across the darkness, carrying the wagons along with her. Her heart pulsed thickly through her neck muscles. Time was oozing by, pulling the sweat straight out from Rainbow's pores, one bulb at a time.
To her relief, she found the hauntingly bright surfaces of Sugarcube Corner. Hooking the wagons in place around the rooftop's plaster candles, she snuck into the upstairs bedroom, emerging later with a petrified fluff of pink in her arms. Minutes later, after gliding past dozens upon dozens of structures, she stumbled upon a stone cottage that was falling apart at the seams. Not bothering with the doors, she simply reached into the stonework—grunting—and tugged the antique exterior apart. A wall of molting feathers and fur clumps immediately poured out. Holding her breath, Rainbow swam through the dead animal particulates and came bursting back out with a dainty yellow figure draped over her yoke.
Kicking off, Rainbow dove deep, deep into the nebulous nothing. She sniffed the frigid air, following the scent of earth, the musk of topsoil, and finally the tickling scent of rotten fruit. Apple peels wafted past her in ectoplasmic streams. She and the wagons spiraled around a rickety wooden fence, finally coming upon a blood red barn halo'd with threadbare trees and farm equipment. Forcing the front doors open with a creak, she shone her light inside. A thick sea of hay made visibility difficult. Holding her breath, she dove right in, fishing around with anxious hooves. After much toil, she found a clump of emaciated bodies, their limbs wrapped around each other in a rigor mortis embrace. With much struggle, she pried the red fetlocks off a pale green body, then wriggled her way deeper to grab an orange figure. The corpse was still holding a yellow figure against its chest as Rainbow pulled it out of the center. She didn't bother detaching the two, instead propelling herself back out of the barn before she could drown in haystalks.
She shoved the last body into the wagon—but that wasn't all. Rainbow swung her legs out into the ether, scooping up as many clumps of hay as she could and shoving them in as well, burying the corpses beneath the dry yellow heaps. She snapped branches off of the barren apple trees and tossed them in as well, along with fragments of paper that she fished out of the floating farmhouse nearby.
Once the wagon compartments were completely full, Rainbow fished out the other tools that she had gathered from the hardware store. She popped open the first of two jars, giving the end of the bottle a sniff. She instantly grimaced from the potent kerosene smell. Before the liquid could fountain out, she stuffed one of several rags down the opening, then tied more rags to the end of it, forming a miniature tail of fabric. This she also did with the other bottle, wedging it between the opposite end of the converging wagons. Finally, she reached into the thick of the wagon and grabbed the last item: a book of matches. It took several swipes against the coarse surfaces of the wagon, but she successfully lit a few of them and lit the rags at the end of the bottles. Slowly, the flame ate their way towards the neck of the jars.
Grunting, Rainbow pressed all four legs against the wagon and kicked off. Her breath came out in a limp wheeze, and her eyes twitched as she watched the vehicle glide swiftly away, carrying the tightly-packed bodies along with them. Rainbow gritted her teeth, clasping her forelimbs together as she floated in place.
The wagon flew out of the range of her lamps, but soon it wouldn't be an issue. Within seconds, the lit rags caught up to the kerosene inside the jars. The wagons erupted in twin plumes of flame, burning all over with a glorious pulse of light. There was no smoke, no crackling sound, just the icy drift of a gentle conflagration as the wagons drew further and further away. As they glided into the dark, the lapping flames illuminated swaths of weightless earth floating on all sides, like an uneven tunnel of once-emerald fields and vibrant pastures. There was grass, flowers, the hint of cattails swaying by empty lake beds in an invisible breeze, and then the pulse of light carried off into the ever-dark, a blinking stare that gazed warmly back at Rainbow.
That's when she felt the tug of the metal cable. Time was up. Rainbow hissed, her teeth clenching as she stared and gazed after that distant light for as long as she could. All the while, the dim shells of a village swung past her, cruising faster and faster as the cable pulling her yoke increased in speed and strength. The flame was a single speck now, infinitesimally small, but just as real as the moment when Rainbow struck the first match.
Then, with a gasp of warm air, she was thrust backwards into the gray-lit compartment. The horizontal panels groaned together, slamming shut and sealing her once again within the dull walls of that place. Rainbow Dash found herself bound to gravity, anchored to the wall behind her with a cable now tighter than it ever was. Rainbow hung her head, and in so doing noticed that the corpse of the pegasus before her was completely gone. Even the blood had been swept away.
Gears groaned. Her lamps flickered off. And, once more, the speakers crackled to life: "Did you retrieve the pieces?"
Rainbow took a deep breath. Her facial features tightened, frowned. "No," she said.
Another hiss: "Did you even find them?"
Rainbow's brow furrowed. She stared millions of miles through the grayness. A lasting glint hung in her moist eyes, like a bright spark floating away in empty blackness.
"No," she breathed.
Silence.
A panel swung open in the ceiling directly above her.
Rainbow didn't bother looking up. Thunder rolled. When the projectile flew through her skull, her brains splattered in three separate directions, but her legs didn't. They kept her body upright for sixty courageous milliseconds, before the rest of her finally toppled forward. The ends of Rainbow's wings twitched, and there was a jerking motion to her left rear leg, but it was all over before her lungs could even empty completely.
Her corpse lay there for several minutes... for as long as it took for the crimson puddle to spread around her dormant limbs.
Then, at some point, the ceiling opened again—wider this time. A metal sarcophagus swung down with a cable fishing its way through the back. Then the tiny box opened, dropping loose a winged stallion with a dark coat and a teal mane. The pegasus shivered, panting for breath as a metal helm consistently blinded him and weighed down his skull. Within seconds, the headpiece popped open, falling loosely to the floor. At first sight of Rainbow's body, he flinched, hopping backwards with an anguished yelp. The cable held him in place, and not long after the speakers crackled across the blood-stained room.
"Do you understand the price of disobedience?!"
The stallion nervously gulped and nodded.
"Find the pieces. Retrieve the pieces."
The cable went slack. The doors before him groaned open to a bitter chill. There was nothing but blackness.
"You have two hours. Do not disobey."
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I am intrigued. Very intrigued. It's odd how you could actually turn this into another massive epic, but Imploding Colon has you beat.
So, were you watching Saw or something?
This was rather morbid and very dark... Which is probably what you aimed for, I assume.
...I'm not even going to try and piece this one together.
~Skeeter The Lurker
4561613
Isn't this tagged as Complete?
Also, I must respectfully say that I didn't like this story. It was too vague and without an understanding of what's happening it's near to impossible to be immersed in the story.
I have to say i'm impressed.
I didn't understand what was going on, but you managed to freak me out anyway.
This was highly psychedelic, very intriguing, very unusual, and almost completely incomprehensible. Have you been at the diesel oil again?
I have absolutely no idea what happened in this story.
Pieces of what?
Or is the complete nonsensical nature of the task part of the point?
I... don't get it. Like... at all. I mean, I know what she did: collect the girls and Spike and give them some kind of burial but beyond that... what?
Sorry, Grorious Reader, but this one was too far out there for me. "The pointlessness is the point" isn't something that appeals to me.
If I'm reading this right, she was supposed to scoop up and collect the pieces of skull and brain matter from the previous victim and gather them up. Then she didn't do that.
4561651
I was just saying. If he didn't say, "You have two hours," it could have been an epic-length story easily just by that description. I haven't even read the story so far, and because you didn't like it, I now want to read it. XP
Is the point that you are not supposed to understand, just soak up the words and piece them together?
Like your supposed to imagine it, not understand it.(There is a difference,)
Or is it something deep.Something beyond understanding?
Like Rainbow Dash is trapped in this dimension where nothing makes sense,yet it's so clear.
Or is exactly what it says: a disembodied voice, telling Dash to find the pieces and obey?
4561628
Saw was my first thought as well.
It was actually really cool to sort of make up a background story to explain what happened while reading. Awesome story telling as usual!
Well, that was...sad.
But I'm not entirely sure what happened. Something got control over the ponies, what remains of Equestria is enveloped in a dark, weightless void, and Dash, seemingly somewhat aware of what happened, decides to use the last remaining time she has of her own volition to gather the corpses of her friends and give them a viking funeral. Sad in and of itself, but I'm still not sure what has transpired. I have no idea what these pieces are, but my first guess is the Elements.
Also, poor Derpy.
Hmm, this is . . . interesting, I guess. I'm not sure what to say about it. I could come up with a moral of this story easily, but it doesn't really excuse the fact that I don't know why any of this is happening and what the pieces are.
I could fathom a guess that the pieces are the Elements, and then I could draw a connection to why she burned her friends' corpses as not only a funeral but to stop whatever this thing is wanting, but there is just too little information.
However, I guess that was the point, no? Who knows. It was dark and chilling, and as many said, it reminds me of Saw.
Wow I both loved and hated this at the same time. Maybe hated is a bit too strong of a word. It was more that this story left me confused with way more questions than answers. What pieces? What happened to Equestria? Who's in control and what are their motives? Overall the visuals and gory details were fantastically terrifying and spectacular. The creepiness levels were through the roof. But mostly the whole thing lost me in a dark cave scared, alone and confused.
Cool job but some background would have made this outstanding.
i36.tinypic.com/106x00j.jpg
How curious. Even so, I'm with everyone else- WHAT HAPPENED?!
Honestly, the fic is great, but backstory is vital to making this story work. Who's in control? What's happening? Who's the voice? Until I get an answer, I'm assuming it's the interrogator from Black Ops.
Yeah, I actually am. I can't think of anyone else, so I am.
Despite what everyone is saying, I can still certainly respect the message.
Rainbow, instead of trying to save herself, uses her last moments to honor her fallen friends.
Its enough to give a like, but not a favorite, seeing as how that is the only thing I really got from it. While I can certainly understand the concept of letting readers draw their own conclusions in regards to certain situations, this particular premise is a little too far out of understanding, considering we are given little to nothing in regards to what happened to make this bleak, depressing world. The lack of backstory of any kind will be enough to turn off many readers.
4562177
however, there's very little to support that assumption, it's purely on a thematic level and on the assumption that, whatever Dash was up to, she was victorious. That last glint of her eye as she lied to the thing… in your FAAACE horror scary monster stuff 
I'm with Timelord. She was depriving whatever had captured her, of what it needed. I'm sure the pieces were the corpses of the Element Bearers, and Dash was victorious
Consider the idea of tangible objectives, and put aside the vaunted Mystery Box and mysteriousness. It's okay to know what's going on, honest
Ill toss in my 2c I guess...
I think the pieces are the elements, the bits that reside in the bodies of the ponies themselves (as popular fan theory goes). This intelligence, whoever it is, destroyed Equestria and scooped up pegasi survivors from Cloudsdale once they realised they needed the debris searched for the elements. I'm assuming they saved Rainbows body for Loyalty. Rainbow showed her ultimate Loyalty by finding and destroying their bodies so that this intelligence cannot win.
I'm probably wrong but whatever. I'm not usually a fan of super dark stories, but this was nicely done, Skirts.
That certainly was dark and bleak.
I don't suppose I can add much speculation to what's already been said in the comments, except to say that I wonder if the entire world was demolished. I don't remember there being any mention of actual ground... just floating chunks of earth. That, and the lack of gravity. Though, what could pulverize a planet without incinerating the materials on its surface, I can't begin to guess.
I, for one, liked the ambiguity, and think that too much explanation would've softened the blow. The oldest and deepest fear is the fear of the unknown, the fear of what's beyond our understanding and control. It's not the monster coming through the open door that scares us, but the monster that might be on the other side of the closed door.
Sad, gruesome, but enjoyable nonetheless (maybe I'm just weird for liking dark stuff).
I, for one, really enjoyed the vagueness. Lets my mind fill in the blanks without taking away from the enjoyment. The fact that Rainbow didn't freak out at the entire situation makes me thing that either she was familiar enough with parts of it to know what to expect, or she is just that awesome at keeping her cool. And then it doesn't strike me as if she was intent in finding whatever pieces she was supposed to find, as much as just seeking out her friends, as if she already knew about their fates. It seems like she only felt her time was running short as long as she still had friends' bodies left to retrieve. I'll probably be turning this one around my head for a while.
On a "meta-fiction" level, this appears to be an exploration of Rainbow Dash undertaking a final courageous act of Loyalty, demonstrated through actions rather than speech or thought. In which case, it does this well; as an exploration of character only a bare minimum of setting the stage is required and that is exactly what has been provided.
On a "story" level, there is far too little context and too many unanswered questions for me to find this enjoyable. What are the pieces? Why only two hours? Why does a power that is capable of scooping Ponyville into a weightless void require pegasi to retrieve the pieces? Why not retrieve them itself? Are the pieces themselves unimportant, and it's the act of finding and retrieving that is?
In trying to puzzle out the answers to these questions, it becomes a little nonsensical and distracts from the Rainbow Dash character exploration, which I feel is the strong point of the fiction - a little too much noise that's hiding the signal.
That said, it's thought-provoking enough for me to give it an up-vote.
Respectfully,
The Ponytrician.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the how and the why of Rainbow Dash getting into this situation are ultimately unimportant to the story.
What happened to the world?
Who did it?
How did Rainbow Dash avoid the fate that befell her dearest friends?
Why can't whatever it is go get the pieces itself?
Does this strange tormentor know that Rainbow is the Element of Loyalty? (Personally, with how casually it destroyed her I would have to believe it didn't. Or perhaps the elements were never it's goal at all and her connection to them was unimportant.)
All of these questions, while certainly interesting, are meaningless because the real story is in Rainbow's choices. I feel as thought the purpose of this piece was to showcase Rainbow's character. To show that even in this impossible and hellish situation where something other has near complete control over her fate she is still unwaveringly loyal to her friends and herself, even unto death.
What's really interesting to me is that line from the antagonist "Did you even find them?" and how depending on your interpretation of "them" the story can change. Basically, is it talking about the pieces or the bearers? Rainbow's thoughts as she answers seem to point to "them" meaning the bearers. She seems to have some understanding of what this thing wants from her given that she was never confused by its demands, If we assume that Rainbow had some prior knowledge regarding what was expected of her then it's possible she made the decision to die even before the story started. Determined to keep what was left of her friends from being used by this monstrosity she destroys their remains in the last act of rebellion left to her. When she answered no and if in this case "them" is her friends then here she makes the final confirmation of her death and takes the knowledge that this things quest will go eternally unfulfilled into darkness with her. Thus frustrating whatever ultimate plan this thing might have had even though it seems as though her entire world is already forfeit.
Now then, what if we assume that "them" is referring to the pieces? That could mean that it doesn't know or care about the bearers or even that whatever it's after isn't the elements at all. Again, its casual destruction of Rainbow Dash suggests that either it didn't know or didn't care that she was one. I suppose it's possible that even dead it could take what it needed from her body if indeed it did need something from the bearers. But it seemed to pay no more attention to her remains than it did to those of Derpy. It simply used her as an example for the next pitiful bastard. This is an important distinction as here her decision to destroy her friends remains is an entirely personal one and has nothing to do with stopping whatever it is. While I don't doubt that there would have certainly been an element of this in the first case, here it would be the only motivating factor. One last action of her own choosing before the end. In this case as well she might have chosen death before the beginning of the story. Given the choice of helping the thing that had destroyed everything she cared for or death I would think she would chose the later. Her one last act of loyalty to her friends being sending off their bodies before she inevitably joins them. Perhaps a slightly different shade of loyalty here than in the first case. Looking at it this way it could mean that her thoughts as she was questioned was just her looking back on things and really had no significance to what the thing wanted after all.
Edit: This came to me right after I posted
A third option presents itself that could be an amalgamation of my previous two. If we assume that the thing is after the Elements it's entirely possible that it doesn't really understand what they are. It could be looking at them like some simple magical artifact. A thing that can be easily taken. This would help explain why it gives no special significance to Rainbow as she is just one of many disposable means to an end. But Rainbow knows what the elements are and the connection she and her friends have to them. So fearing that whatever it is might eventually figure something out from the bodies or just that it would desecrate her friends remains in the attempt she makes the decision to destroy them. Obviously she isn't given a choice as to whether she wants to be sent out to search but she uses that opportunity to destroy any chance this enemy might have had of understanding the elements and takes the knowledge of that to her grave.
End Edit-
It's late, this is way more than I've ever written for a comment and most of it is almost defiantly rambling nonsense so I'll finish quickly.
Good one Skirts, I really enjoyed it. The brutality here was more than I expected based on the other stories of yours I've read but it's well done and fits the story nicely. You handled it in a straight forward way that makes it all the more chilling than it might have been otherwise.
Ah one last thing, I believe that the title of the story "Tethered" refers not to the literal tether connecting Rainbow and her tormentor but instead the strong and enduring connection she has with her friends even after they are gone.
I like the idea behind this, but I didn't really actually like it much as a pony story; it reminds me of The Cough in that respect, as it is an interesting idea for a story, but it doesn't really seem like it gained anything by involving ponies.
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It's been a year and then some since I read that tale, but it really is the perfect analogue. The tale is well-written, yet ultimately pointless in its inclusion of ponies; there is nothing here that couldn't be done in any other universe where the bodies would be recognizable in some way. And while even with a 'why' it could no doubt take place in other realities, the 'why' becomes more important here.
Interesting, but...I do not know.
Well, that was certainly something alright.
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Hehe, thats what I thought at first too.
I get it! ...I don't get it...
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THANK you. Everyone is going on about 'how deep' this is, but... It was just wasted time for me.
Interesting... reminded me a little of Jeff VanderMeer's 'Annihilation'. Good though.
Ok, not bad. I think even if someone doesn't like the story they would have to admit that it was pretty well written. I liked it, thought it was worth the read, but that's about all. I see two interpretations of this story. One is that the pieces are the Elements bodies. If this is true then I think it's very plausible that Dash did what she did to both honor her friends and spite the evil power. Sadly, the next guy in line is royally boned
. Sorry buddy. Second interpretation is that the Elements aren't the pieces. This would explain why the thing didn't think that Dash was more valuable than Derpy, or go out of its way to preserve the other Elements on its rampage. This also shows that Dash was more inclined to honor her friends than to help that evil thing. Or she didn't even know what the pieces were. I mean, come on, Jigsaw gives better instructions than find the pieces.
So I guess it all comes down to lack of background, allowing us to infer whatever we choose. I honestly wish there was backstory so I could just know why, but at the same time it would take away from the 'watching as it happens' feel, which gives the story more intensity.
My theory?
Equestria, or at the very least Ponyvile, has gone "splody" in a weird and deeply traumatising way...
the only survivors being the ones who were absent at the time..
"Voice" seems to be acquiring pegasi to grab the pieces (of Ponyvile) in order to rebuild it...
Dash, who seems to be suffering from survivors’ guilt, believes this is equal to tomb robbing and just wants to leave her friends to their rest... or at least prevent their bodies being misused..
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Pleeasee???
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*shudders in awe*
Oooh, this is GOOD>....
You...yer gonna write more...right? RIGHT?????
Aheem, cough hint. :)
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Wow! Skirts, that was an awesome story. Dark, sad and completely in character for RD. Well done!
Cryptic. I can't help but suspect that one of the purposes of this story is to see how we react. We're left floating in uncertainty, with only a zero-G Viking funeral to light our way.
Don't get me wrong, I liked this story. It's Dash at her best, defiant and loyal to the end. But I suspect that she didn't even look for the right "pieces." Maybe this is actually some sort of psychological test; it isn't the goal but the journey the mysterious voice is judging. What that means for Thunderlane, I have no idea.
In any case, it was certainly interesting. Thank you for it, though I hope you explain what you were going for at some point.
My mind hasn't been this filled with 'what' since I read Double Rainbow. But after thinking about it a bit, it really works. The more I think about how things could have ended up that way, the more my mind fills in the blanks on its own with ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING images. And I get the feeling you intended it to be that way. So good job, SS&E.
Well, that was fucked up.
*like
*fave
Really awesome, skirts. Not often do I see a story where the lack of explanation works in the story's favor. I'd love to discuss this with you, but...
Like and favorite for now.
That really cheered me up.
An excellent Psychological Horror.
An excellent show of friendship.
Badass description.
Badass Rainbow Dash.
An awesome ending.
Cheers for this Story.
'...the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end...'
So apart from exploring Rainbow's character a bit, this story was pretty much just sad for the sake of sad.
First story from SS&E that I actually dislike.
This had a kind of Saw and Silent Hill feel to it.
I love ambiguity when it's done right. The author just lets the reader drift about in their head in thought, pondering the goings on in the story. All it takes is a few more simple nudges and the readers imagination takes hold and sends them to far more horrifying places than even the author intended. It is wonderful. Simply wonderful.
Rainbow had an hour to stew as she flew about in nowhere. That is a lot of time to
contemplate the situation. Did thoughts of vying for freedom even come to her? Did fear entrap her soul? Did she have any hate in her heart? An hour is such a long time, yet not nearly enough to think. It was very good show to make the reader wonder this for themselves.
I do have to wonder what Derpy would have gone for to bring back. Muffins? Dinky? The Doctor? I think everypony went for someone or something they held dear, thinking those were the pieces that were asked for, otherwise bringing things that might be valuable like bits or food.
Or maybe the thing they were suppose to find was freedom. Maybe find a way to get loose from the yoke. Maybe find the limits of being shackled down and try to snap it at that point.
...I'm still trying to comb this story for a cat-pony reference of some sort. I am most certain they are there.
Everyone has their own theories or their own critiques on the vague and dark nature of the story. Two points I see that are most agreeable are the characterization of Rainbow Dash and the theme of loyalty in this bizarre scenario. For what her actions meant in symbolic sense, Rainbow Dash succeeded in giving her friends a proper goodbye. It does not take too much context to realize that, and that is the gem of this story.
But then again, I am no fan of vagueness when it is deployed with almost no explanations from the author whatsoever. The whole situation, especially the ending, is so dark and gory without any sort of prelude to justify the atmosphere and tone. The plot is an attempted dive into surreal horror, but I cannot see anything - no mystery, no substantial hints, no reason to care - in this abyss of ambiguity.
There is a lack of narrative tools and devices for a reader to make a reasonable interpretation - a big mistake when writing an abstract piece.
I feel like there was meant to be a deeper meaning and a sublime feeling that would be left with the reader once the story ended, but it never surfaced. I was not shown the layers, and thus, I was left out of the intent.
I don't get it. You know, like the other commenters.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
4567978 Who is MASH?