Yes, I ended on the cliffhanger I warned you about. BUT! I have a reason for doing so!

You see, I've been having trouble getting myself motivated to write. I had this already written, ready to go and with it I'm hoping to get some feedback along the lines of people demanding more, thus driving me to write more. You guys are the reason I do this.

If you read my journal, you already know what happens next. Although, I'm sure you want to see it more in depth, so I'll try to get the next chapter done as soon as I can.

My shutter shade vision spotted this:

"The movement is slight, but you see it when it happens. Her tongue pokes out, just a bit, pointing up and then rolling downward before disappearing back behind her lips."

Is this perhaps a non-poker "tell" that you're trying to communicate to the readers? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tell_(poker)

Very well written.

2nd person view? I LOVE STORIES IN 2ND PERSON VIEW! Thumps up on you mister!

Hmmmm... I love a good cliffhanger...

It may just be a prolouge but you've earned my thumb and track... Not many can say they have... And I've read a shit load of stories...

Cheers,

-Dashie

>>425462425462 I got a series of second person... Not the best of the litter but if you're looking for them then you know where to look.

>>425477425477 well um you haven't published anything...

>>425477425477 and btw you are not the author of my little dashie, right? its just a name, right? :3

>>425537425537 No I'm not the author. That ROBcarakeron (IDK how to spell it) And I have 5 published fics just click my name. Don't bother with the first three just read 'The Life of Tragedy Series' thats the first three combined and then I'm branching off it.

-Dashie

P.S. Author you might want to delete these comments later...

>>425145425145

It is, in fact. Licking of lips was explained earlier as a sign that one might be thirsty.

>>425580425580 That'd be an interesting character, someone who could perceive almost unnoticeable tells like gaze twitching into another direction for a split second when one lies.

>>425589425589

Hmm. Well I was planning a little bit of that, it wasn't going to be to any sort of extreme. Could definitely make for a good story, though.

>>425589425589 Sherlock Holmes much?

As for the story, in my (rather unexperienced) eyes (when it comes to literature) this is well written (no typos or grammar mistakes). I am intrigued as to how they ended up in the same bed.

Not a bad start, I'll keep an eye on this.

>>425589425589

Sounds like "Lie To Me". Great show.

Please continue I really wanna see how this turns out.....and if you don't Fluttercry will be sad....And we don't want that now don't we

Night Train - Guns N' Roses

OH FUCK

that is not something you want happening

well maybe it is but not in that way

Amazing! Simply amazing. I commend you, great author, upon your achievement of such satisfactory literature. Please, do continue this magnificent tale!

Lol relevantheavymetal posted a song link on my story too. It was annoying at first, but as I see him doing it to other writers, I find it hilarious. Please check out my stories, by the way. I get lonely.

And nice character description. He is obviously a good bartender/waiter to be able to see the telltale signs of somepony wanting a drink.

This looked good. But then I saw "The bass player". I was like "Nope"! I will read and favorite if you change it to cello! and only then!

>>426024426024

Oh, dammit! I had poured over the chapter multiple times to make sure I didn't make that mistake, and... UGH!

Thank you for pointing it out. It's fixed now.

DUN DUN DUNNN

>>426052426052 Yay! Will read and favorite!

>>426052426052 Read and Favorited, very well done.

>>425462425462  If you love second person, then check out what I've written.  Four stories, all in second person.

Woo, new story by Whirring Gear. Pinch me!

Good start, with cliffhanger as well

Loving it, looking forward to the next chapter. Again, nice character description and integration.

All-in-all, a great story. This is number one on my top favorites list. Love you man, for letting us see your masterpiece. This beautiful piece of literature.

Nice art, too. Is that custom?

Checked the source. There should be other 'good morning' pieces.

>>426024426024 There are plenty of pieces of evidence that show that Octavia plays the bass, and not the cello. One, the cello is not played standing up like that. And two, check out this video: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/09/ponies-still-wondering-cello-or-double.html?m=1

It's the right height to be a double bass, and Octavia's standing height is tall enough to play said instrument. Please do check out the video. It makes me sad to see people mistaking Octavia's instrument for something it isn't. I apologize if it was intended to be a cello in the show, but the math says different. Just thought I'd add my two bits about this debate. Ciao!

I'm interested..

I'll be watching.

Just can't wait for the sequel. I'll be watching. This story is a prospective hit.

Lol! I just realized that I know someone who lives in an apartment building, in room 213!!

I NEED more....

Moar.  Please?  For the love of Celestia, moar!  This is good stuff.  Well written, and I certainly like Octavia.

I need a sequel, soon. I'm sorry if it feels like I'm rushing you, but I'm freaking desperate!

I know that you can't rush art, but I'm dying here.

this is pretty interesting. other than that, all i gotta say is:

MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Image: http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/279/040/d98.png

Thanks to Quantumfire, Slashe, Armada, and Timebomb for prereading this chapter!

It is most Le Cute

awwwwww yeah!

this fic is beutiful written, and octavia is my favorite character

>>431454431454  Just wanted to add my two cents to this conversation as well but this debate was pretty much settled at the beginning of December.

From EQD:  

One of the pre-readers actually sent an E-mail to William Anderson (The FiM Background Music guy) and came out with this:

"david,

i am not sure how accurate the visuals are, i thought it was two violins, cellist and harp.

i believe that's how i wrote it as well, violin I, violin II, cello and harp. i think i arranged a mozart string quartet for this instrumentation?

i just get the picture and score it!

cheers,

wil"

http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/12/sweet-and-elite-episode-followup.html

===========================

Interesting video that you posted all the same brokemaniac.  

On to more pressing issues...

I am truly enjoying this story so far and I greatly look forward to more chapters.  Keep up the awesome work Whirring!

keep going! the fic flows great, but manages to keep the reader off balance, not knowing what to expect.  i like it.

I've woken up with headaches like that without drinking...normally my nose is just clogged up, and I don't really understand how that causes a migraine. Oh, and nice work on the chapter. It was pretty darned amazing. Keep up the good work!

D'awww....

More!

Loving this, it's nice to see some Octy love that's not with Vinyl Scratch :D. Octavia's my favorite character, too, so bonus points!

>>456235456235 I'm sorry that I didnt notice that article on EqD. I know now that it was intended to be a cello, even if the visual evidence doesn't support it. Thank you for enlightening me. I am going to continue thinking about it as if it was a bass, though, if that's alright.

>>456947456947  Of course that is quite alright.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs.  :)  

D'awwwwwwwww. That's cute.

Last Line was brilliant. I thank you.

Awww yeah. Go team!

I like it! Octavia shipping that doesn't involve Vinyl Scratch! What a refreshing change of scenery.

Things are surely turning out for the better. Loved how you left it hanging at that last line; I'm definitely gonna watch and wait for the next chapter to come out. The writing is fluid, the dialogue is believable, and the story is well paced. Keep up the good work!

DADORABLE!  

What is there to say except... awsome?

Nothing I guess, keep it up man

I only have one question... When did Octavia put her hoof on 'my' chin?

Other than that great chapter bro... MOAR NOW?

>>465514465514

After she says that you both were not children talking about a crush, you try to look away but she uses her hoof on your chin to keep you looking at her.

>>465709465709 thanks I guess I missed that

LAST FEW LINES!

ALL OF MY YES!

yes yes yes i love i love and him the ANGEL OF LOVE A well made Octavia is rare

Another AMAZING chapter.... And story XD I can't wait to see where this goes, I love reading your fanfics, keep up the wonderful writing

Where the F@#% is my Jill Sandwich

Two months... one chapter. I apologize.

I'll be honest, I keep getting distracted by other potential stories which I want to work on in the future along with some projects that I'm helping out with. I'll try to have the next chapter ready sooner.

DOOP WAITAMINUTE BWAAAAGH

Big thanks to Slashe and QuantumFire for prereading!

Oh, this. I saw this months and months ago. Never thought it'd become featured. Congrendualtes!

>>619440619440

I honestly have no idea how it was featured. I just uploaded the chapter and a couple screen clicks later, there it was in the featured box.

Not that I'm complaining or anything!

This story has 123 thumbs up!!!! coincidence? I THINK NOT!!

Well done, my good sir or madam!

This fic pleases me.

Therefore, tracking.

>>619510619510

The last two slots on the feature box operate on rating and update time, so it shows existing stories that were recently updated regardless of the time they were uploaded, providing that they have a high enough rating.

A nice addition to the site, in my opinion.

>>619564619564

Huh. I had no idea. That's pretty cool.

Thank you for the explanation!

>>619570619570

No problem.

And great story, by the way. I was a bit skeptical about it at first, but I'm enjoying it so far.

Loving this so far!

Haven't read many Octavia focused fics but I find this appealing. I also am finding 2nd person to be an interesting perspective. Please do continue my good sir.

This seems to be growing into a wonderful story - don't rush anything and it will be no less than wonderful

Can't wait for the next chapter and at the same time I'm willing to wait as much as I have to just to know it will be equally good or better than what is here so far. Keep it up!

>>619377619377

So that's where this went, better late then never.    Very nice and smooth so far.

As i said before i find this story to be very good! I am a huge fan of octy/scratch. I am just delighted to see that she has colt now. Funny how its me hmm? lol XD

Now i do not simply request more, i Demand moar!

So heartwarming and the amount of times i burst out laughing at their silly conversations.

I like this, i like it alot!

Nice story, deserves my like, and favourite...

Definitely deserves a feature though.

Requesting more...

moar

MOARRR!

Brilliant

I've been waiting for this chapter for ages!

I thought I was going to go mad with curiousity

next please kind sir

Dis gun' be guud.

Image: http://i.imgur.com/z0msO.gif

DROP AND ROLL!

>>619377619377  No worries.  I'm just glad that you are continuing the story.  And I am sure that all of us can understand that life can get busy and distractions occur a plenty.  Just look at it this way, you have a realistic goal in mind now.  To get a new chapter out in under 2 months.  

>>619997619997 ....    

>>619997619997

OH BOY WHAT FLAVOUR!?

Right.

MORE IS DEMAND.

>>620328620328 Enjoy the show.

>>620672620672 Pinkie Pie flavour.

Excellent read so far.

I enjoy the shared remembrances, and the tentative comradery between them.

Favorited for reading as soon as updates come out, I look forward to seeing where this all goes.

>>620799620799

Image: http://i.imgur.com/bkYFk.png

>>620799620799

But it's Opposite Day.

Ooh, last night flashbacks! Eventually we might even get the whole story!

This is good - can't wait for more!

Can't Get This Stuff Anymore - Van Halen

Anything past the key of A Flat is for sadists, jazz musicians, or assholes. Not that any of those things are mutually exclusive.

This is some good stuff, took you a while to get this chapter up, but the quality of it was worth it. Just try and get the next one out sooner please?

Nice, very very nice. its funny, and rather cute too. nice work

Aww yeea, woke up in bed next to a famous pony

Question, ever read Until You Met Her? This story reminds me of it

*Clap Clap*

Why am I listening to metal while I'm reading this?

Give me more!!! MOAR!!!

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Fluttershy.png

MOAR OF THIS---->

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_O_O.png

>>619997619997

Wa.. Huh?