Horns, Hooves, and Fur

by Deyeaz

XXV - Encores and Rants

XXV - Encores and Rants

Applause.

So much applause.

The sound of hooves slamming into the linoleum dance floor sent quaking vibrations across the room, threatening to decimate the ground they walked on.

Whistling, cries of assent, shrieks of joy. The DJ trio’s eardrums were nearly ruptured from how loud the entire equine audience was performing. Praxis, Jace, Vinyl, Octavia, and the Itailian stallion bowed for the audience. Roses were ejected from the sea of ponies as they landed in a not-so-modest pile at the performers’ hooves... and in Jace’s case, feet.

Praxis had never heard applause this loud before. Sure, the applause he had gotten from Ponyville was very nice, but this...

To him, it was incredible. An overwhelming wall of sound, crashing over those that lingered on the stage.

“At least the ponies kept their ‘wild side’ on a controlled level,” Jace told him.

Praxis would have thought so...

*FWOOMP*

...Had a pair of sky-blue, frilly underwear not landed straight on his face, shrouding his eyes.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case in this scenario.

“Eww... sleazy,” he mumbled as he removed the erotic garment from his vision. He could only assume that one of the ponies from Ponyville had been responsible for the panties smacking into him. He held them up high. “For the pony who threw these, do you want ‘em cleaned and returned by Monday tomorrow?”

Loud, hearty laughter rang out. Even a few of the snooty ponies couldn’t help but give a chuckle at the joke.

“It was a-nice working with you all,” the Itailian pony said before stepping off of the stage. “I hope to a-see you again.” He trotted into the crowd.

“Indeed so,” Octavia finally piped up over the applause. “Especially you, Jace.” The person in question narrowed his eyes slightly when he saw the ash-coated mare’s cheeks turn a pale red. Vinyl instantly caught on to this, pupils shrunken to the size of peas in rage at what the cello player had said.

“Oh, what could you be insinuating, Tavi?” she said, her purple shades flipped up to reveal her angry red eyes. She and Octavia were head to head, glaring at each other with as much malice as possible.

To put it lightly... a shitstorm was brewing.

“Umm... I’m just gonna walk away slowly...” Praxis did just that before turning tail and taking off for the punch table.

“Oh, no you’re not, Fluffy!” Jace grabbed him with his magic and pulled him back towards the potential catfight.

“Oh?” Octavia questioned. “I was, wasn’t I? Well, what do you plan on doing about it, Vinyl Snatch?” Vinyl gritted her teeth, anger at how the usually elegant cello player had degraded herself to use a vulgar word.

“Nothing... other than kicking your sorry flank up and down the floor, Cocktavia.” A wry, devious smirk spread across the white unicorn’s muzzle.

But the dirty pun Vinyl made was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back.

“You... BITCH!” Octavia tackled Vinyl to the stage’s floor, every ounce of her being raring to pulverize the other mare into a bloody pulp. The audience had gasped at the sight. Two prestigious musicians roughing and tumbling before them? It was unsightly.

“Oh, God....”

“Shh, just pretend it’s TV,” Jace smirked as he watched the two mares fight over him. He watched as they bit, scratched, and hit each other over and over. They let out screams and girly shrieks with every blow that landed.

Eventually, though, the two men watching intently soon got bored of this little cat-fight.

“Right, I’m going to stop this, by doing it in the most peaceful way I know how.” Jace handed Praxis his cane, “And no, not by going in there, before you say anything.” He walked to the instruments lined up on the wall and picked up a violin and a bow, running it across the strings to test the tuning. He fiddled with the knobs a bit until he found the right set of tuning to play.

He walked over next to the two love-crazy mares and played a few chords before putting on a smile. “Fillies and gentlecolts!” He yelled across the audience, quickly gathering their attentions. “May I introduce myself. I, am Jason Romero for those who do not know.” He let out a small wave, “Hi. How’s it going?” It got a few chuckles out of the audience.

“Next to me are two mares who are fighting over me. You know what I have to say to that?” He looked over at Praxis and tucked the violin under his chin. Praxis jumped back into the DJ booth and nodded at Jace.

"Hit it!"

“With pleasure, bro!” Ambient sounds, soon followed by the gentle stroking of a violin’s strings, emanated from the duo as the music began.

Jace played with expert timing, bow tickling each and every string of the violin as his fingers flew along the neck of the small instrument in his hands, pressing down and fiddling with each and every appropriate one, making the harmonious melody meander through the atmosphere like a soothing river. Praxis’s fingers did what they had done during the performance of “Spiritus Sancti,” moving swiftly along the dashboard of the booth’s turntable, spinning a spider’s web of sound alongside Jace. The music from the booth synchronized with Jace’s violin-playing almost perfectly.

Octavia and Vinyl, drained and beaten from fighting one another, had given up on their attempts of brutally slaughtering one another. They raised their heads to see that Praxis and Jace were the source of the music. The two mares were unaware of the fact that they were still laying in a heap on the stage. Luckily, the audience wasn’t paying attention to them anymore, for they were practically hypnotized by the music being created.

Jace had his eyes closed for the first bit of the song, but he slowly opened them as it progressed; now his eyes glowing a soft red. As he played, waves of red musical notes came from the violin and his hands as he played the notes. They arranged on a staff that shimmered in the air. He slowly turned to the two mares by his side and stepped in between them, the staffs with notes on them wrapping around their bodies like a snake.

Jace looked at Praxis, and shook his head, telling him to stop with the wubs. He obeyed, and then the glow came onto the knobs on the DJ Booth, and it was under Jace’s control now. It played a low ambient tone that flooded the auditorium. The staffs had picked up the two mares and there were now on either side of Jace. “I’m not one to pick favorites. I’m not one to choose sides. It’s always difficult picking women, especially when they are both lovely. But alas, a man must choose.” He turned and looked at the two. “Now which one do I take?” He put a gloved hand on his chin and he jokingly rubbed on it in mock-thinking.

“It’s hard to break hearts...But, I must do so tonight.” He raised a hand in between the two mares and slowly moved it side to side before resting on the side where Vinyl was floating. He slowly motioned for her to come forward, and the music brought her forward. “Tonight, I choose you. It was a no-brainer from the start.” He looked over at Octavia, who was clearly upset. Tears were on the precipice of formulating in her amethyst eyes.

“Octavia Philharmonica.” He slowly walked over to her, putting a hand on her chin and having her look up into his glowing eyes. Though there was only red, a usual sign of pure and inextinguishable fury, they looked oddly sincere... and perhaps even bordering on sad. “Octavia, I am sorry. But, I cannot be with you. It is Vinyl who I love, but let’s just say you come in as a close second. I don’t want you to feel upset. This is possibly one of the only nights you could talk to me, and I am not in the least upset with you. I’ve been with Vinyl for three years now. Hell, she’s even having my child in two days. I am in no way pushing you out of my sight, since we are both avid string musicians. I hope to produce music with you sometime in the near future, Miss Philharmonica.” He released his telekinetic grip on her and gently placed her on the ground, giving a small bow before stepping away next to a now grounded Vinyl Scratch.

“Oh... OK.” Octavia looked at the ground in shame. As she sat there, almost fit to cry, she felt a hand pat her shoulder in comfort.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Praxis told her. He knelt down to meet her at eye level. “I know what it’s like to not be able to have the person you love love you back.”

“Oh, please,” Octavia snapped. “Why would ANYpony love YOU?” Praxis recoiled slightly, hurt by the cellist’s razor-like words. Octavia’s eyes widened at the realization of what she said. “I-I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I can’t believe I SAID that to you, I’m just so upset that that HARLOT took somepony I cared about, and--”

“Stop.” Octavia’s broken dam of words were stoppered by Praxis’s interjection. “ First, I don’t mind that you made a little quip, now matter how much it hurt from how true it was. You just wanted to vent, that’s all.” He sighed, shaking his head. He looked back at her before continuing. “Second, please don’t call Vinyl a harlot. She’s my friend, and she was actually pretty quick to accept me, unlike the others, who only either ran away or tried to chase me out of town. And third... just let it go.”

“What?” Octavia asked.

“You heard me.” Praxis nodded to her, giving her another gentle pat on the shoulder. “It does no good to have a place in your heart for a person that can’t fill it. I’ve been down that road... and it wasn’t pretty. You have to let it go... like a leaf in the wind.”

“But... it’s so hard to.”

Praxis put a hand on each of her shoulders, looking into her eyes. “Try. Because if you don’t, it will hurt you for the rest of your life.”

Octavia, after a few moments, dismissed the sorrow that hung over her. She sighed sadly before looking up at Praxis with a small smile. She shook Praxis’s hand before they stood up. “OK,” she answered. “Thank you very much, Praxis, for the advice.”

“Don’t mention it, Miss Philharmonica.”

“Please, call me Octavia.”

“Are you two done flirting yet?” Jace asked teasingly. Praxis and Octavia both went pink in the face and chuckled nervously. “Yes? Well, then, if you will please follow me.” Jace walked over to Praxis, grabbing the cane from him and walking off the stage into one of the hallways leading out of the auditorium. “Honestly, I’m surprised you could hold this thing up; it’s still the scythe you know.” He started using the cane in the appropriate manner and Praxis looked over at him with a raised brow.

“Didn’t you tell me that the scythe can only be--”

“--picked up by the one who has the reaper blood; blah blah blah.” The two finished the sentence in unison, only to have Jace end it with the ‘blahs’ and a twirl of the hand.

“At the moment, I choose who can hold it. It’s you, me, and Vinyl. That’s the ONLY exception.” Jace turned to look at Vinyl. “Could you stay here for a few minutes, love? I need to talk to Praxis for a small bit.” Vinyl nodded weakly and Jace grabbed Praxis by the arm, dragging him into a empty hallway.

“What happened back there, you say NOTHING of it, damn you.”

Praxis pushed Jace back a bit. “Oi! Back off!”

“I’m serious, Prax! This has happened before, and last time, it didn’t end with an epic dubstep violin... if you catch my drift.” He looked down and moved his fedora on his head so it was comfortable. Praxis raised his eyebrows. “Make yourself at home. I’m going to take Vinyl out for a little stroll. It’s been forever since we’ve been here at the castle together and... I want to make the most out of it tonight.” Praxis gave an understanding nod, and patted Jace on the shoulder before turning the corner and walking back to the auditorium.

Vinyl watched the weresatyr leave and Jace walked out from the hallway, cane placed firmly on the ground. “Miss Vincenza...” he began.

“Jace, PLEASE don’t call me that. You know I hate it!” She shot a glare at him. “Look, I’m sorry for overreacting back there but... That stupid SLUT-”

“HEEEEY, what I tell you about calling her a slut? Honestly, Vinyl. We’re all adults here, and we’re able to make reasonable decisions. Yet I seem to be the one apologizing to Octavia after things get out of hand.” He sighed and walked down the hall, Vinyl following next to him.

“Sorry, but... The NERVE of her! She KNOWS that you’re with ME! Just... Ugh. I CANNOT believe her.”

“Yes, I agree it was a very foolish thing to do on her part.” Jace looked down at his marefriend, only to find her sulking. He smiled lightly, and chuckled. “Listen to us! We sound like we belong here in Canterlot.”

“Haha, yeah. What’s up with that? We’re here for only a few hours and we’re already talking like the locals! That’s some freaky-deaky shit!”

“It’s not like, ‘oh g’day, sir. How are YOU this fiiiiine evening?’.” Jace had put on a fake posture and a ridiculous voice for his noble pony impersonation, but it got a laugh out of Vinyl. “It’s more like, ‘I SAY, old BEAN. What time is it on your POCKET watch?’” Vinyl laughed louder as she shut her eyes: looking up at his ridiculous pose only made it harder to breathe properly. “‘Why, I DO believe that it’s a QUARTER past FIVE!’ ‘Oh, why, THANK YOU, ol’ SPORT.’”

“HAHAAAAHAAA! OH CELESTIA! MY SIDES! MY SI- BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!” Jace smiled, reaching his goal. He came up with this theory; that the boyfriend is there to cause happiness and love. That was his goal every time he found Vinyl upset in any way shape or form.

Jace couldn't help but laugh as well at his marefriend’s reaction. Vinyl was practically clutching her ribs, as if they were loaded with nitroglycerin, ready to explode at the slightest upset. The laughter died down slowly. Jace picked up Vinyl from off the floor, holding her in the slightly cliche “princess” style. “Now, let’s go home, eh?”

“Yep. I’m tired and ready to head back home. It’s been a really long day and I just wanna snuggle up wiff yooouuuu~” She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek as she wrapped her forelegs around his neck to hold onto him.

“As do I, my princess~” They began walking to the exit, ready to leave.

“Whoa, what about Praxis?” Vinyl said.

“Oh, shit...” Jace stopped in his tracks, pondering what the weresatyr would do in his and Vinyl’s absence. “Pssh, he’ll be fine.”

As they were walking to the front doors, he was stopped by a guard. “Why are you not in the council with the Princess’ and the satyr? You were invited there as a guest of honor.” Jace raised a brow at this.

“Council meeting? Me? Guest of honor? Well, not like I haven’t done things like this before, but I wasn’t told in advance about this.” He looked at the mare in his arms, “I guess I’ll stay for a little bit.” He kissed her lovingly before setting her down and turning. “I’ll be home in a couple hours or so, I’m going to slip my way in and see if I can calm ponies down.” He walked off down the hall towards the council room.

“Let’s just hope Blueblood remembers what happened last time...” His eyes glowed red, to show his irritation with the Prince in question.

---

Princesses Celestia and Luna were standing in front of the doors to the council room, awaiting to enter it and being the meeting.

But with them was a special guest.

“Praxis, are you ready?” Luna asked. Praxis fixed his tie and adjusted his top hat comfortably.

“I don’t know what in the seven rings of hell I’m doing here, but... sure,” he said. Celestia and Luna, after a few moments of chuckling, used their magic to open the double doors and walked inside. The council members, which were comprised of ponies, griffins, and diamond dogs were chatting with one another eagerly. They fell silent when the princesses walked in and sat down in their appropriate thrones at the head of the table. They went slack-jawed and racked with terror at the sight of the guest before them leaning on a wall to the right.

Luna caught on to this and simply told them, “Shut up. He’s okay. Begin the meeting.” The esteemed committee nodded.

“Thanks, Luna,” Praxis told her.

“How DARE you talk on first-name terms with royalty, you pathetic cur! Her title is PRINCESS Luna,” an exceedingly pompous voice snapped. Praxis turned his head to see Prince Blueblood glaring at him in disgust. Luna and Celestia were ready to scold Blueblood for his outburst.

“Blueblood...” Celestia warned.

“It’s alright, Princess,” Praxis reassured her. “I got this.” He walked over to the chair where Blueblood sat. The prince began trembling when Praxis slammed his palm onto the table in front of him with enough force to splinter a redwood tree. Blueblood stared apprehensively at the weresatyr’s eyes. What scared the nephew of Celestia by far was Praxis’s expression. In his eyes were no anger. No rage. Only irritation, hatred, and boredom, like he had dealt with ponies like him before.

“Listen here and listen good, Midget-Dick,” he began. The council members began giggling at the insult like immature school fillies as they shifted in their seats while Blueblood began sinking in his. “Because I’m only gonna say this once. I didn’t come to this planet to be treated like shit. I saved, not one, not two, but seven ponies and a human from either imminent death, severe injuries, or violent molestation. Now, I’ve been chased down by a manticore, abhorred by an entire town, had your goddamn guards jump my ass into next week, escaped from prison because of a punishment I didn’t deserve, swallowed by a hydra - which I ripped to shreds from the inside out, might I add-”

“It’s true,” Luna said when she witnessed the looks of incredulity plastered onto the faces of the council members.

“We both saw it happen,” Celestia added.

“-and, to top it all, my friend and I are planning on saving Equestria from a psychopathic deity of madness before he slams the moon into the planet like it was his favorite pastime. And you’ve got the marble-sized gonads to call ME pathetic?” The giggles evolved into controlled laughter as Praxis stepped away from the table and began walking around it, arms behind his back after pushing his pince nez up his nose. “Y’see, ladies and gents?” He paused in mid-walk as he pointed a thumb at Blueblood, who flinched tremendously at it. “Here, we have an egocentric, narcissistic jackass.” He returned to walking. “Why he got like this? Beats me. But apparently, leading psychiatrists say that people - or ponies, in this case - become the source of this UNBEARABLE douchebaggery-” More laughter came from the other council members, Luna’s being the loudest. “-for one of three reasons.” He held up the indicated amount of fingers.

“One:” Praxis raised his index finger. “Underneath all that male, royal bravado, there’s an insecure, scared little filly just BANGING on the closet door, BEGGING to get out.” The council members laughed again. “Two:” The middle finger went up to join the index. “Blueblood is... well, I’d be lying if I said he was a hard worker.” The audience, now all ears for the weresatyr’s rant, did their best to stifle their onslaught of laughter, barely succeeding. “And because of this sudden display of sloth, he hasn’t worked a day in his life, only to have everypony else befit his requirements. Which reminds me...” He stopped again, turning on Blueblood. “How the HELL are you so skinny if you haven’t done anything?”

“Um... pilates?” the white stallion answered sheepishly.

“Shut up, that was a rhetorical question.” Praxis retorted monotonously. The council members laughed once more. “And the third reason... Blueblood is lame in the sack.”

The laughter from the esteemed committee earlier paled in comparison to the extreme amount of guffawing they let loose now. Blueblood was red in the face, shaking terribly in his seat, on the threshold of crying. Praxis both saw anger, sadness, and embarrassment, thanks to his emotion-reading abilities. The anger was from being humiliated and one-up’d by a “demon”, the sadness was from how terrible a turn his reputation had taken, and the embarrassment might’ve been from the solid truth: that Blueblood IS a cowering little mare on the inside, that he IS indeed slothful, and that perhaps he IS terrible at love-making.

Praxis waited for the laughter to die down. “Now are we going to get on with the meeting? Or do I have to destroy this guy’s self-esteem and morale even more?”

“Dude... THAT. WAS. AWESOME!”

Praxis whipped around to see Jace standing under the threshold of the door. “I heard the whole damn thing, man,” Jace continued as he walked over to Praxis and performed a brotherly hand grasp and shoulder bump. “Where the FUCK did you learn to belt out something that destructive?”

“Being bullied for eight years? It gave me time to think of the worst things to say to the people responsible. See, I’m nice and carefree when I’m happy, but I’m meticulous and calculating when I’m angry. I usually look for an enemy’s weak spots, and hit ‘em hard there,” Praxis said.

“Now that you two have reunited to partake in your little ‘bromance’,” Luna said, causing the two men to look at her awkwardly. “Can we PLEASE begin the council?”

The two sighed before taking the two remaining empty seats, at the other head of the table.

“We’re all ears,” the two said in unison.

Comments

[the other sans]

Jace could help but laugh as well at his marefriend’s reaction.
I don’t know what in the seven rings of hell I’m doing here, but... sure,

1. Couldn't.
2. Forgot to bold this line.

I have absolutely no idea if anyone actually LIKES Blueblood... Who knows?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png

[Deyeaz]

766034
Thanks again, man.
And no, not many people like Blueblood at all.

[Gigabyte]

*shrug*

People judge ol' bluey too quickly, it's the only thing he knows to be slothful, the fact being he was pampered from birth, and that turns quickly to snobbishness.

Point out flaws in this argument and I will adress them as such.

[the onlyoneofmeisyou]

The council members began giggling at the insult like immature school fillies as shifted in their seats while Blueblood began sinking in his.

began giggling at the insult like immature school fillies as shifted in their seats while Blueblood began sinking in his.

like immature school fillies as shifted in their seats while Blueblood began sinking in his.

school fillies as shifted in their seats

as shifted in their seats

as shifted

[Deyeaz]

767994
...okay.jpeg

[the onlyoneofmeisyou]

768031
holy yes, that was the EXACT reaction i was hoping for!

[Deyeaz]

779039
....Crap. Fine... why you gotta be so fuckin' Alpha?

[lolz anonymous]

lol blue blood always asks for it.

[Deyeaz]

813466 indeed he did.

And... that awkward moment where we have the same profile pic.

[lolz anonymous]

814444 yeah............ awkward.